All the while I can’t stop mumbling. ‘I’m such a klutz! I’m just not used to wearing high heels. It was my friend Amber. She said I looked like a cowgirl in my riding boots …’ I stop suddenly. Damn it, I’m rambling again! For some reason I feel the need to fill the void created by this boy’s silence.
‘Has anyone ever told you how captivating your voice is?’
I laugh a little. I nearly killed him and he says my voice is captivating! ‘No. No one has ever told me that.’
He smiles sweetly, obviously still dazed by pain. And shock. I lean forward and whisper, ‘Actually, I never wear heels. I’m more comfortable riding a horse …’ Aaargh!! What am I saying? ‘Pretty soon you’re going to regret that you came and stood in this spot.’
‘Somehow I doubt that.’
‘By the way, how is your back? You hit that wall so hard’. I spin around and nonchalantly try to check his spine.
He gets that Is-she-all-there? look again. ‘You’re not checking out my butt, are you?’
I shake my head so hard my clasp drops out, and my curls tumble down all the way to my waist. ‘No, I swear I’m not.’
He moistens his lips with his tongue and kind of laughs. It’s an unconscious act and quite sexy. ‘My back’s fine, although I can’t say for sure about these,’ he says, pointing at his toes, ‘but I think they’ll survive.’
‘I really am sorry about your shoe.’
‘It’s no big deal; it’s just a small hole. You can stop apologising.’
I smile at his kindness.
‘Even if my toe were broken,’ he adds, ‘it wouldn’t matter because I have another nine. Really.’ He sighs then, sounding cross at himself. ‘I’m rambling now, aren’t I?’
‘It’s your turn,’ I say. Even though he’s speaking now, he still has that dazed look about him. ‘Are you positive you’re OK? You look a little spacey. You didn’t happen to hit your head?’
‘I didn’t hit my head, but you’re really strong.’
Instantly my eyes flutter downwards.
He rushes to say, ‘Hey, I didn’t mean anything by that. It was just a surprise when you bowled me over like a steam train. Crap. It’s my turn to apologise. I’m sorry.’
‘It’s OK. I am strong, but I know that some people find strength intimidating in a girl. So … um, if you don’t mind, could you keep that information to yourself?’
‘Absolutely! I swear, your secret is safe with me.’ He puts a hand over his heart. ‘I won’t tell anyone, not a soul, not a –’
‘Thank you.’
We both glance down and realise how close we’re standing, our joined hands between us at chest height. We stay this way, still and silent, looking into each other’s eyes. I feel something tangible stretch between us, and I know he’s feeling this unusual connection too. I mean, if I concentrate, I can hear a person’s heart beating if they’re standing close enough. Right now, this boy’s heart is beating very, very fast.
The link between us feels electric.
I will remember this moment. It’s burning into my memory as we continue to stare at each other, until, gradually, I see something really sad inside his eyes. This dark misery wraps around me like a shroud. I feel smothered by it, as if I’m choking and can’t breathe. I don’t quite know what to make of it. I sense a despair inside this boy that must be hard to live with. My smile fades at this thought and I step back. It doesn’t take long for embarrassment to replace the feeling of closeness.
The world shifts back into focus quickly, starting with Amber’s voice calling my name. ‘Ebony! What’s keeping you?’
‘Over here!’ I call out, turning to make eye contact.
She runs over. ‘You know, I thought you were behind me this whole time until I got my hand stamped and you weren’t next. Are you OK? You look a bit stunned.’
‘I’m fine.’
Our friend Leah comes out then. ‘Hey, are you girls coming? I found a table.’
Before I realise what’s happening, the two of them are leading me inside. I swing my head around to the boy standing on the pavement watching me. I smile at him and wave, promising myself that before tonight is over I will know his name and understand the reason I feel so connected to him.
4
Jordan
‘How’s that little heart of yours thumping now, Jordy? Still marching to the beat of the pretty girl’s drum?’ Danny comes up to me, thoroughly amused. Obviously he saw it all.
I glare at him to no effect.
He asks, ‘Do you know them?’
‘Nope.’
‘Not even the redhead who was fawning all over you?’ He grins.
‘Her hair wasn’t red,’ I correct in a hurry. Danny’s girl fetish this month is redheads.
‘It was red under the spotlight.’
‘Well, not from where I was standing. Mitts off, OK?’
‘OK, OK! She’s not my type anyway.’ He lifts his hands in the air in a gesture of peace. ‘I could swear you knew them.’
‘I told you already.’
‘Not even the “brunette” who couldn’t keep her hands off you?’ In joking fashion he hikes his fingers under my jacket, running them up and down my chest. People stare. A few laugh at his tomfoolery. ‘When you looked into each other’s eyes, man, no one knew where to look.’
I shove his hands away. These days there are times I’d like to block Danny out, press the mute button on his remote control.
‘Trust me, Danny, I would have remembered those eyes if I’d seen them before.’
‘Man …’ He pauses, offering a moment’s silence, as if the girl’s eyes warrant a profound reverence. ‘What do you call that colour? Purple?’
‘Violet.’
‘I think those girls go to our school, but I haven’t seen them around any of the local haunts, so they must be hicks from the west.’
I stare at him. That girl goes to my school?
He thumps my chest with an open hand. ‘You know – horse people.’
‘You’ve seen them at school?’
‘What’s more, I think they’re in our year.’
‘Dude, it’s the hair. That dumb rule about keeping it tied back. Girls look different with their hair down.’
That look is back in his eyes. ‘So … did you get her number?’
‘Whose number?’ Since I didn’t, and could kick myself for it, I decide to be vague. It’s slightly less embarrassing and gives me time to think of a reply.
‘The bronze hottie, the one who almost brought down a wall of the club with your spine.’
‘I tripped and fell into the wall.’
He laughs. ‘Jordy, I know what I saw. I’ll be your witness when you sue for injury compensation.’
‘Dude, thanks for your concern, but I won’t be suing anyone since it was me who lost my footing. OK?’
He stares, lifting his dark eyebrows. ‘You’re touchy tonight. Did I hit a chord? Ah, yes, the chord of love.’ He sings this last word.
‘Shut up, Danny.’ I change the subject from one that’s making me uncomfortable to one that might make him uncomfortable. ‘So what happened with Rebecca?’ His girlfriend of five months.
He clicks his fingers. ‘Aah, that was her name! Apparently she was only killing time until Bosko asked her out.’ He gives one of his couldn’t-care-less shrugs. ‘You know, it’s hard being this good-looking. Girls just want to hang around with me all the time. It’s getting to be a chore,’ he moans with appropriate melodrama, then swings an arm across my shoulders. ‘Are you coming inside? The night is still young. We can find us each a hottie to take home tonight.’
I think of the brunette with the sweet voice and stunning eyes. I’m definitely going inside.
5
Ebony
Numbly I go through the motions of having my hand stamped with a red elephant and, with Amber’s arm hooked through mine, follow Leah into the club’s interior. The soft coloured lights, the chink of glasses, the roar of voices and l
aughter swirl around me like a zephyr. It’s exactly what I came here for – to have fun and feel the buzz of life thrumming inside me.
I stand still, close my eyes and exhale the breath I’ve been holding in since … I don’t know, but it seems like for ever.
Amber squeezes my arm excitedly. ‘Leah found a table on the balcony upstairs and the girls are there already.’
She means our friends Bec and Ivy, who, along with Leah, we sit with at lunch.
We wade through the crowded stairs to find the girls bunched together in a dark corner right up the back. It’s a small table in a perfect location for a romantic couple wanting to avoid the spotlight, but …
Leah notices my grimacing look. ‘Don’t you like it?’
‘It’s a table with chairs – what’s not to like?’ I say, not wanting to offend her. I wonder how on earth I’m going to find my mystery boy from up here.
Leah goes down to buy drinks. Leaving Ivy and Bec to chat about their clothes, I tug on Amber’s sleeve and whisper, ‘Come on; let’s get out of this corner.’
Standing at the top of the stairs, we spot a few people we know and a few we’d rather not, like the group of loud-mouths from town who are always taking shots at us because we’re into horses.
Amber rests a hand on the balcony railing but doesn’t look over into the club’s interior.
‘Um, Amber, why are you staring at me?’
‘Oh, I’m the one staring?’
I hate it when she answers my question with one of her own. ‘I’m staring,’ I explain, ‘because I don’t get out often and it’s all so amazing, especially the chandelier. You know, it has a hundred and forty-five little bulbs. Imagine the energy it uses when it’s fully turned on.’ I glance at her and smile. ‘You don’t have to say it – I’m pathetic.’
She laughs. ‘Ebony, that line’s not going to work with me. I know what you’re doing.’
‘Yeah? What?’
‘You’re looking for a cute guy who walks with a limp.’
I turn back to scanning the room, keeping an eye on everyone as they first walk in. ‘I suppose he’s not here because he had to seek urgent medical treatment. I knew I shouldn’t have worn your heels.’
She laughs. ‘Blame the shoes, why don’t you?’ She lifts her eyebrows. ‘He didn’t look too injured when he held your hand against his chest. You should have seen your face!’
‘I’m glad I didn’t,’ I mumble under my breath.
‘The way that guy looked at you, there’s no doubt he will track you down before this night is over. Hon, I guarantee it.’
‘Do you really think so?’ I try to sound as if I don’t care either way, but it doesn’t work. I need to see him again.
‘He goes to our school, you know,’ Amber remarks casually.
My eyes swing to hers. ‘He does?’
‘Yeah, his name is Jordan Blake. He’s the guy that always heads for the back row and never makes eye contact. And it’s not because he’s shy.’ She adds this last part softly, but before I can ask her about it Leah’s back with our drinks and we return to the table, where we plan a riding day together during the first week of our break.
Every so often I check the faces around me, hoping to catch sight of the boy named Jordan.
Leah and Ivy get up to dance as soon as the band starts playing. It’s a great idea. Anything to get a better vantage point, so we head downstairs to the dance floor, where I have so much fun I don’t realise how much time is passing.
Taking a break, Amber and I go to the restroom. When we come out to wash our hands and freshen up, I glance into the mirror and point out that her theory seems to be flawed. ‘I’m going to find him before anything else distracts me.’
‘I’ll come with you.’
‘You don’t have to, you know. The band will be back soon.’
She shrugs. ‘I’m all danced out.’
We walk to the door and I pull it open. ‘What about the others?’
She pulls out her mobile phone. ‘I’ll text Leah and tell her where we’ll be.’
We wander over to the bar and I ask a barman if he’s seen a boy with blue eyes, brown hair, about my height and wearing a brown suede jacket. ‘He might be walking with a limp,’ I add.
‘Sorry,’ he says, shrugging.
But while standing there a group of five or six girls rushes past. ‘What’s down there?’ I ask the one hanging back a little.
The blonde glances up from texting. ‘The rear exit.’
And the moment she says it I know Jordan Blake has passed this way. I turn and tell Amber, ‘He’s outside.’
‘How do you know?’
I have no answer. I just feel it. ‘Instinct, I suppose.’
‘You want to go out in the dark on a hunch, looking for a boy you only just met?’
‘Um … yes. I need to check on his injury,’ I answer with a nervous giggle.
‘All right, I’m game.’
OK, who am I kidding? I quietly admit as we head for the exit. It might be the stupidest idea I’ve had in a while, but there’s something as strong as it is strange between this boy and me, and I need to know what it is.
6
Jordan
We bumped into Sophie Hunt at the door about an hour earlier, a beautiful girl with blonde hair and blue eyes and bad taste in men. She was alone – and upset – so we decided to keep her company even though we’ve exchanged no more than a few words since she moved to Cedar Oakes at the start of this school year. She told us she had problems with her boyfriend, Adam Skinner – see, bad taste. Danny let slip I had history with the guy, and she started pounding me for info, trying to figure out why he has suddenly become so unpredictable.
‘You know, Sophie, perhaps you should start by asking Adam to explain what happened that day at the mine.’
‘Don’t you think I’ve tried? No one mentions Seth around him. Even Josh and Damien told me to leave it alone.’ Her voice drops so low I strain to hear it and move my right ear closer to her mouth. ‘Josh thinks Adam is worried about losing me.’ She looks at me then, her big blue eyes swimming with tears.
Adam Skinner is worried about Sophie’s feelings, worried she might leave him. This isn’t the Skinner I know. It surprises me.
I close my eyes for a second and finally give in. But deep inside I just know that somehow, at some time, I’m going to regret this.
She gives a barman some cash and he slides two beers under the counter, then we slip outside on our own and sit on the bottom step of a small concrete deck. By the time I finish relating what happened, she’s sniffing back tears and swabbing her eyes.
Leaning forward on to her knees, Sophie cups her chin in her hands and stares straight ahead into the dark alley, where the only other sound is a cat scratching at a black garbage bag.
‘Are you OK?’ I ask.
‘No, I’m a horrible person, pressuring you into telling me this story on his brother’s birthday.’ She hiccups.
‘You didn’t know it was Seth’s birthday. And at least now you understand where Adam is coming from.’
‘How can you stick up for him after all he’s put you through? Danny told me how, in that first year, he turned every person in this school against you, including the teachers.’
‘Well, that was three years ago, and I put up with the crap he dishes out because …’
She squeezes my forearm. ‘Don’t say, because of what you did to his brother. It was an accident, Jordan. A dreadful tragedy, but it wasn’t your fault.’
She’s silent a moment before she says softly, ‘Why couldn’t he tell me himself? I would have understood. I could have been there for him instead of …’ She glances down the dark lane with tears welling again, her tissue shredded in her hands, ‘Jordan, I was so awful to him last night. I said some horrible things. He’s never going to forgive me.’
‘Forgiveness isn’t exactly Adam’s strong point. A few days’ space around certain days of the year is probably good to remember
.’
She starts to cry again and wipes her eyes with the last of her tissue. ‘I dumped him last night.’
‘The fight was that bad, eh?’
She nods.
‘I’ve seen you two at school together. He doesn’t let you out of his sight. He’ll come back.’
She slides her hand in mine and gives it a friendly squeeze. ‘Do you think so?’ She glances up at me with her big blue eyes half obscured behind her blonde fringe. ‘If only I’d met you on my first day.’
Her hand in mine grows uncomfortable suddenly, as if we’re crossing a line. She’ll be sorry she said that by tomorrow. Obviously Sophie has some thinking to do. She’s hurting and vulnerable. I glance at my watch. I’ve been outside too long, but at least there’s still time to find the girl with the violet eyes.
Sophie gets to her feet. ‘I’ve kept you out here long enough. You should go back inside and enjoy what’s left of the night.’ Taking my hand again, she hauls me up. ‘Besides, I realise now I have somewhere else I need to be.’
A dark figure fills the space behind her. The figure moves and two more step out of the shadows. It’s Skinner with his mates Josh and Damien. The hairs on the back of my neck bristle at the look on Skinner’s face.
Quickly I drop Sophie’s hand. ‘What is it?’ she whispers, and spins around. ‘Adam! It’s you. Geez, you freaked me ou—’ Her voice fades as she takes in his dark eyes and hostile expression.
‘Yes, it’s Adam’, he mocks, glaring at her.
She goes from relieved to confused and then terrified in the space of one beat. ‘What’s wrong, babe?’
Skinner takes her arm and flings her to Josh as if he were discarding a rotting carcass. Josh plays football for the region. I’ve known him since we were kids. He was one of the many who stopped associating with me after the accident. It’s his loyalty that has him here now being a moron.
‘Don’t let her go, Josh. I’ll get back to her after I deal with this scumbag.’