‘You’re just on a bit of a downer,’ she said. ‘You miss your friends and family. It’s natural to feel pissed off. The days will start getting shorter soon and then you’ll feel better. I promise.’
He spoke slowly: ‘I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss my country and I miss my freedom.’ He took a deep breath. ‘I miss the daylight and I want to go back.’ Despair clouded his dark eyes.
‘Back?’
‘Yes! Back! Back, back, back! To my time and my home. Back to before I turned into this ... monster.’
‘You’re not a monster.’ Madison was dismayed by his anger and distress. She knew he felt frustrated by his circumstances, but she had no idea how deeply his feelings cut. ‘Is there anything I can do?’ she asked, feeling inadequate.
‘Sometimes,’ he said. ‘I wish you had succeeded that day.’ He clenched his fists.
Madison didn’t want to hear this.
‘That day when you tried to kill me. It would have been better if you had finished the job.’
‘You don’t mean that, Alex. Don’t ever say that. I don’t know what I’d do if anything ever happened to you. Maybe we should think about trying to wake up the others? Maybe … maybe if you had them with you, they’d cheer you up. I know what it’s like to get down. I know. But we’ll get through it. Together. Alright, Alex?’
‘I like it when you call me Alex. It reminds me of Jacques. He always called me this. He was the only one who …’ He angrily wiped away a tear and Madison scraped her chair closer to his and put her arm around his hunched shoulders.
‘We’ll work it out. Whatever’s making you feel like this, we’ll sort it. We’ll fix it. Yeah?’
‘If not for you, I do not think I could be responsible for my actions. I can see how easy it would be for those like me to eventually turn into monsters. I hope it is not inevitable.’
‘Nothing’s inevitable,’ she said and kissed his porcelain cheek. He turned to her and kissed her on the mouth. Madison opened her lips and sank into his kiss. She felt the deep pull of desire as he lifted her off the chair and drew her close to his body. She felt his anger and despair and passion and she knew he needed this from her.
He lifted her easily into his arms and took her upstairs into her bedroom. A half-moon shone through the open window, onto the wooden floor. Alexandre lay her down onto the unmade bed and gazed at her. She stared back up at him, her lips parted and her breathing heavy.
‘I love you,’ he said. ‘I have never felt this sure about anything.’
She smiled at him tentatively, forcing herself to be brave and say the words back to him. She had said them to him often enough in her head, but to say them aloud was to leave herself exposed and vulnerable, even though he’d spoken first.
‘I love you too,’ she finally said. ‘I really do, Alex.’
He lay down on his side next to her, propped up on one elbow and he kissed her cheek.
‘That kiss was incredible,’ he said. ‘I could kiss you like that all night.’
‘Please,’ she said. ‘Kiss me like that all night.’
He straddled her and pushed her arms back above her head, lowering himself down. She felt the weight of him as he kissed her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks, her lips. She gently bit his bottom lip and pushed his mouth open with her tongue to feel his deep kisses again. She moaned and arched her body into him. But then he suddenly rolled off her and opened his eyes, realising he had probably gone too far.
‘Forgive me,’ he said. ‘You are irresistible to me but that is no excuse for my behaviour.’
‘Forgive you? For what?’
‘I have taken advantage. I love you and I do not wish to disrespect you.’
‘Alex, you are the most respectful person I know. Haven’t you ever heard of mutual consent?’
‘I am older. I am a man. I have made too many mistakes in the past. I do not wish to make these mistakes with you.’
‘Listen, Alex. If you were doing something I didn’t want, I’d tell you about it. You haven’t done anything I didn’t want you to.’
Maddy rolled on top of him, still in awe of his astonishing beauty. But he was more than just this stunning creature – he was kind, generous, vulnerable and funny. He was everything to her. She smiled and kissed him again. Alexandre responded immediately, but then he groaned and lifted her off him. He ran a finger down her cheek, kissing her hair and she ran her hands across his hard stomach.
‘Please stop, Madison. I fear I am completely unable to resist you.’
She stopped instantly and drew her hands up to her cheeks. ‘Is this a rejection then?’ she asked, feeling sick and slightly humiliated.
‘Madison,’ he said sitting up. He looked at her but she refused to catch his eye. ‘This is the opposite of a rejection. Did you not hear me before when I said I loved you? I have never said that to anyone, because I have never felt this way about another living soul. I love you. Why won’t you look at me? I cannot tell what you are thinking when you look the other way.’
She finally relented and looked up.
‘I want this more than you know. But there is much to consider and now I only have myself to answer to. Please give me some time.’
She lay down and curled into a ball. He spooned himself around her and kissed the back of her neck.
‘Why don’t you sleep now? I will stay with you for as long as I can.’
‘I won’t be able to sleep,’ she said in a small voice.
He stroked her arm and inhaled the apple scent of her hair, listening as the sound of her breathing became more even and slow. He knew she was not entirely happy with him, but maybe tomorrow she would see he had been right not to rush. That kiss had been so intoxicating, it had taken all of his willpower to end it. He knew it was the right thing to do; to stop it there. He did not trust himself otherwise.
His depression had entirely vanished. He was transformed, in love and the feeling was reciprocated - she loved him too. Maybe the world was not the bleak place he had inhabited only hours ago. Maybe there could be something good in it for him, something wonderful.
‘Sleep well, Madison,’ he whispered into her ear. ‘I love you.’
She slept.
Chapter Twenty Five
*
Alexandre left her bed at around 4am, his mind a blur of thoughts and emotions. Was he doing the right thing? Or was he being selfish? He tried not to think about what his parents would have said. But it wasn’t that simple. He lived in a different era now where different rules applied. What he had done was apparently not scandalous at all, but normal.
What had Madison said? Mutual consent. He liked that. Yes, what business was it of anybody else’s? Neither of them had to answer to anyone, which was a blessing and a curse. All they had done was fall in love and kiss. And what a kiss! She was unbelievable. How could he curse his bad fortune at becoming a vampire, when it had led him to her? Maybe this was meant to be.
*
Madison woke up about seven. She felt strangely happy and then she remembered why. She and Alexandre. It had happened. They had kissed and it was everything she’d thought it would be. Of course she’d thought about it before, but she’d never believed it would actually happen. He was from another era, he was older than her and he was a vampire. She hadn’t even known if vampires had those kinds of feelings or if they were just all about the blood. Well now she knew they most definitely did have those feelings. And had he said … Yes. He said he loved her. He loved her – Madison Greene.
What did this mean for them now? It could be difficult, what with them living together already. And what about Ben? What would he think about it all? But then Alexandre had said he needed time. Maybe he was right. Maybe a bit of time to think about it was a good thing. Yeah right. No way she needed to think about anything. She loved him and that was it. Nothing more to say.
As soon as she had showered and dressed, she made her way downstairs. It was another glorious day and Ben sat in the
kitchen shovelling down his cereal.
‘Can you give me a lift, Mads? I think I missed the bus this morning and I’m gonna be late.’
‘Yeah, come on then. I’ll have my breakfast when I get back.’ She plucked a large red apple out of the fruit bowl and took a bite.
Madison had just turned seventeen and had only needed half a dozen driving lessons before passing her test first time around. She was elated by the freedom. Now she no longer had to rely on taxis and buses or lifts from Morris.
Stepping outside, the sun warmed her cheeks. It was going to be a scorcher and Madison felt so happy she didn’t know what to do with herself. She had to try to stop smiling. Ben would wonder what had gotten into her.
Climbing into the Land Rover, Maddy put the radio on. Melancholic strings and a haunting melody filled the interior, so she searched for another station until she found a bouncy, happy indie track that suited her mood - something she could sing along to.
Even the small birds which darted in and out of the overgrown hedgerows looked like they were smiling.
‘God, you’re a bit chirpy this morning, Mads.’
‘Sun’s shining, Ben.’
‘You haven’t got school.’
‘Shut up, you love school!’
‘Rather be out on my bike.’
‘It’s nearly summer holidays.’
‘Not for a whole month yet. How’s Alex? Haven’t seen him for a few days.’
‘Yeah, he’s okay. He doesn’t really like the long days though. He can’t go out and it’s doing his head in.’
‘Does he really drink blood, Maddy? I mean I know he does, it’s just that it’s weird. He’s Alex, you know. He seems so normal.’
‘I know, mate. It is strange, but it’s not his fault. He was a regular person once.’
The air con kicked in and Maddy angled the vents towards her face, enjoying the cold blast on her warm skin.
‘Will the others ever wake up d’you think?’ Ben asked.
‘I dunno. I kind of hope they do and I kind of hope they don’t. It’s good the way it is and it could get really complicated if they’re all awake and living here. But they’re Alex’s friends and family. He misses them.’
Maddy thought about it. If they did wake up, what would they think about her being with Alex? Would they resent her?
She dropped Ben off outside the gates and headed back home, nerves building, desperately wanting to head straight downstairs to see Alex. But what if he’d changed his mind? What if he was cold towards her? She didn’t think she could bear it if she couldn’t fall straight into his arms.
Maddy swung into the driveway and made her way up the tree-lined avenue to see Travis’ yellow van parked in front of the house.
Travis sat in the kitchen with a cup of tea, talking away to Esther like she was his best mate or something. As soon as Madison sat down, Esther left the room.
‘Mads, long time no see,’ he said with a wary smile. ‘Hope you don’t mind me dropping round. Just wanted to check you were still alive.’
‘Course I don’t mind. It’s so good to see you. How you doing, geezer?’
‘Not bad. Got myself a regular gig at The Glasshouse. Just wondered if you wanted to come up one Friday night?’
‘That’s amazing. Yeah, course I’ll come.’
‘Kerri and Taff’ll be there this Friday and I know they want to see you. Kerri keeps bugging me to get you to go on a girls’ night out with her.’
‘Cool, how are they? I’m really sorry I haven’t been in touch. Me and Ben just had a quiet one over Christmas and then things just got crazy busy and ….’
‘No worries, Mads. I know what it’s like. You can bring your boyfriend if you want.’
‘What?’
‘My brother saw you at the cinema with a bloke.’
‘Oh, yeah. That’s Alex. He’s French.’ He’s French? What a moronic thing to say.
‘Yeah, well bring the French dude, that’s cool.’
‘I’ll really try and get there,’ she said, not wanting to commit herself. ‘But if I don’t make it this Friday, then I’ll definitely come another week.’
‘Whatever, Mads. It’ll be good to see you out and about. Are you free now? D’you wanna go out somewhere? Have a laugh?’
‘Normally I’d say yeah, but I’ve got some stuff to do today. I’ll ring you and we’ll sort out a time, alright?’
‘No worries, I’ve got things I should be doing anyway. Laters.’ He downed the rest of his tea and got up, drumming the wooden table with his fingers and jingling his van keys at the same time.
‘So good to see you, Trav.’ She leaned forward and gave him an awkward peck on the cheek. He grinned at her and headed out of the front door, jumping into the driver’s seat and starting up the engine. His van grumbled away down the drive, the engine noise almost drowned out by a fat thumping baseline. Madison smiled at the black smoke belching out of the exhaust pipe and then she turned away into the house.
Travis had been really friendly and hadn’t mentioned their last awkward meeting on Christmas Eve. Maybe now things could go back to normal between them. Everything seemed to be falling into place. Life felt good. She hugged herself and opened the cellar door. She would go and see Alex before she lost her nerve.
Maddy walked down the familiar stone steps and lifted her hand to rap on the door. Before she had a chance to knock, the door opened and Alexandre stood in front of her. His beautiful chiselled face, smiling.
‘I thought I would have to wait down here all day. What have you been doing that was more important than coming to see me?’
‘I was nervous,’ she admitted. ‘But I had to take Ben to school and then I had an unexpected visitor.’
‘I know. A young gentleman caller. Do I need to be jealous? Will I be forced to use my vampire powers?’ His eyes narrowed in mock fierceness.
‘Are you gonna make me stand outside your door all day?’ Madison asked. ‘Or can I come in?’ She felt electric currents flow between them. Anticipation.
‘So who was this boy?’ he asked, leading her by the hand to one of the sofas. Her hand felt like it was on fire and she barely heard his words.
‘Just Travis,’ she replied. ‘A friend. He’s invited us to a gig actually.’
‘A gig?’ They sat down next to each other. Almost touching, but not quite. She moved her knee slightly, so it rested against his thigh. More electric currents.
‘Yeah, he‘s a DJ and he’s got a gig at a local club.’
‘A musician?’
‘Kind of. He plays records.’ She didn’t even know why she was talking about this. Right now she didn’t care about Travis or records, but she couldn’t seem to stop talking. She babbled inanely to stop herself from jumping on top of him, kissing him …
‘Records?’ he interrupted her train of thought. ‘I do not understand.’
‘You know what records are, right?’ she said, thinking shut up about records! But carried on anyway. ‘They’re like an old version of CDs.’
‘Yes, I understand. But you said he plays them?’
‘I know it sounds weird.’ She didn’t even care what she was saying anymore. ‘But it’s a bit more tricky than just playing a record. You have to be able to mix the right kinds of tracks together and not break the flow of the beat.’ What is this crap I’m spouting? ‘And you have to have great taste in music. I mean, most DJs nowadays don’t play records anymore, but Travis is old school. He likes a nice bit of vinyl.’ I don’t give a shit about vinyl I just want you to kiss me, she screamed in her head.
‘It sounds complicated and peculiar, but I will take your word for it. Right now though I am afraid I do not care about any of that.’ He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her.
Finally! Madison thanked every God known to man, as her body melted into him. She put her arms around his neck and gave in to feelings that set her nerve endings pulsing and made her insides disappear. He gently pulled back and looked into her eyes.<
br />
‘So,’ she said huskily. ‘I’m glad you didn’t take too long to think about us.’
‘I am still thinking. But kissing you helps me to think.’
‘Good,’ she smiled. ‘Carry on thinking.’
*
That Friday, Travis’ set didn’t start until eleven. The queue spilled into the road, but Maddy and Alexandre strolled past it and up to the two large doormen in their tightly fitting suits.
‘Madison Greene plus one,’ she said to one of them. He found the name on his sheet, looked them up and down and lifted the rope. They walked through the crowded bar to the VIP area where Maddy nodded to a few familiar faces. Ben was staying at a friend’s house, so she could relax and enjoy the night without stressing.
‘There’s Kerri … I think,’ she said, spying her over in the corner, talking to a group of glamorous girls. Madison only just recognised her. She was dressed to impress, poured into a silver micro dress, low-cut in the front, backless and reaching down just as far as it needed to. Her hair was all blonde waves cascading down her back and she wore towering spike heels that would have crippled Maddy for life.
‘Hey, Kerri,’ Madison called out.
Kerri’s face lit up at the sight of Madison and she squealed to her friends.
‘It’s Maddy! This is Madison, who I was telling you about. She’s a top girl!’ She stood up and hugged her. ‘You look amazing.’
Maddy wore a tight gunmetal grey dress that started at her throat and came down to her knees, with a draped, low-cut back. She had on strappy grey sandals that she could just-about walk in and her hair had been cut into a sleek black graduated bob which highlighted her perfect cheekbones. Alexandre wore an immaculately tailored dark suit and all eyes were drawn to both of them.
‘Hiya!’ Kerri said to Alexandre. ‘I’m Kerri. Maddy’s forgotten to introduce us.’
‘Sorry, sorry. God, I’m so crap. Alex, this is Kerri. Kerri, Alex.’
‘You are well fit!’ Kerri said in her Gloucestershire drawl. ‘Maddy, is he the reason we haven’t seen you for ages? Well I forgive you. I think I’d fall off the face of the planet if I had him to occupy my time.’ She laughed.