of Scots when just an infant."
"Aye, Majesty. It is natural that you should want to're turn to those
happier places to await the birth of your child."
Mary placed her hand over Douglas Gordon's.
"Do you think anyone suspects that I am here?"
"I heard no such rumors, Majesty."
"Then I am safe, praise heaven."
Douglas glanced over the queen's bowed head to meet Jamie's gaze. He
shook his head slightly. His gesture was not lost on Lindsey. She
felt a tremor of fear for her queen.
In a much lighter mood, Mary turned to the handsome young men who
surrounded their father.
"Lindsey has told me much about you. I feel as if I already know you.
Let me see..." She studied the four, then turned to Murray.
"You are the eldest, Murray. Is that not so?"
"Aye, Majesty." Murray flushed with pleasure.
"You are the most like your father. And you," Mary said, turning to
Donald, "are the one who makes all the lasses' hearts flutter."
Donald was not the least insulted by his image as a wencher. But he
was surprised that the queen should know such a thing about him.
"Aye, Majesty. I am. fond of women." "You, Robert, are the poet."
"Aye," Robbie said.
"And I know that, having met my queen, I will be moved to write many
inspiring verses to your beauty." ;
Mary's smile grew.
"I cannot wait to hear your poetry." She turned to the shy lad who
ducked his head when she looked at him.
"You are Neal," the queen said.
"Your sister tells me that you love caring for horses."
"Aye, Majesty." His cheeks were as bright as the queen's gown.
"I have put off riding here at Lochleven, because my stable master did
not accompany me. But while we are here, you shall be my stable
master."
"Majesty." Neal fell to his knees before her and, overcome with
emotion, caught her hand and kissed it.
Mary was touched by his devotion.
She turned to his father.
"Ah, Douglas. Would that life could always be this simple. And yet,
though I long yearned for some time away from the pressure of ruling my
people, I find I miss the pomp and ceremony at court." She
brightened.
"Do you remember the time you helped me greet the Emperor of Spain?"
"Aye, Majesty. You ordered me to match him drink for drink. Little
did you know how much wine he could hold."
Mary laughed until she wiped tears from her eyes.
"Or how little you could hold, Douglas. As I recall, you had to be
helped to your chambers."
Lindsey glanced from her father to the queen, then back again. In her
father's eyes was a light of laughter that had long been missing.
While the fire blazed and the goblets were filled, Mary regaled them
with stories about life at court, often asking Jamie or Douglas to
interject their comments. Lindsey and her brothers found themselves
laughing often. None of them had realized just how dear a friend their
father was to the queen.
Stifling a yawn, the queen got slowly to her feet.
"I must retire for the night," she said.
"I find that I tire easily these days."
Immediately everyone stood at attention. The men bowed. Lindsey
curtsied.
"But on the morrow, Neal, you and I will ride the grounds of
Lochleven."
"Aye, Majesty." The lad's eyes were bright with pleasure.
"It will be my honor."
The queen shot a glance at her husband, who reluctantly set down his
tankard and crossed the room to offer his arm. Everyone remained
standing until the door closed behind them.
As soon as they were alone, Murray clapped a hand on his father's
shoulder and said, "You old dog. You never told us that you and the
queen were such close friends."
Douglas gave a negligent shrug of his shoulders and emptied his
tankard. But though his words were humble, there was a twinkle in his
eye as he said absently, "I thought you knew. In my younger days I
spent much time at court. But like Jamie MacDonald, my heart lay in
the Highlands."
"But you were never boastful of your close friendship. Most men would
have used their relationship with the queen to acquire favors or
power."
Douglas dropped an arm around his eldest son's shoulders.
"My son, I need neither favors nor power. That is why my friendship
with Mary is an easy one. I value my queen for who she is; not for
what she can give me."
The housekeeper, looking flushed and untidy, entered and bowed before
Douglas Gordon.
"My lord, I have prepared rooms for you and your sons, and my Lord
MacPherson. If you would follow me, I will offer them for your
approval."
Lindsey's heart went out to the little woman and her daughter, who had
probably worked themselves into a frenzy seeing that enough rooms were
prepared for so many unexpected guests. With no servants to assist
them, they must be nearly exhausted by the additional work.
Ian, seeing the way Jamie was watching Lindsey, gave a smug smile and
caught Lindsey's hand.
"Would you care to join us on a tour of our rooms, my lady?"
She felt weary beyond 15elief. But this was, after all, her father's
first night at Lochleven. With the queen retired for the night, it was
her duty to act as hostess.
"Aye. I would be happy to join you."
Before Lindsey could move to her father's side, Ian placed her hand on
his arm and closed his hand firmly over it. Lindsey was forced to move
along at his side.
Turning to Jamie, Douglas extended his hand.
"Thank you for keeping my daughter safe."
The two men shook hands solemnly, and Lindsey's brothers followed suit,
before following the housekeeper up the stairs.
Ian flashed Jamie a triumphant smile before leaning close to Lindsey
and whispering loudly, "When we have inspected our rooms, my lady, I
will see you to your room."
When he began to lead her past Jamie, Lindsey paused.
"Good night, my lord."
Jamie inclined his head slightly.
"Good night, my lady." Together, Lindsey and Ian climbed the stairs.
But as they followed Mistress Macnab toward the far end of the hall,
where the rooms had been prepared, Lindsey suddenly reaiized she had
forgotten something very important.
"My lord, I must see the queen."
"Now?" Ian gave her a startled look.
"She has retired for the night."
"Aye. But this cannot wait. I must see her now."
Ian accompanied Lindsey along the hall until they reached the queen's
chambers. His knock was answered by the queen's voice from within.
"Who is there?"
"Lindsey Gordon, Majesty."
"Enter."
Ian opened the door and stood aside to allow Lindsey to enter. When
she stepped inside, she barred his way.
"Good night, my lord."
"Good night, my lady." He lifted her hand to his lips and allowed the
kiss to linger until she withdrew her hand and pulled away.
Ian gave a sigh of
regret. His plans to get Lindsey alone had been
thwarted. But there would be other chances.
The sitting chamber and dining room of the queen's suite were in
darkness. But beyond, in the queen's sleeping chamber, Lindsey could
see the flickering light of candles.
When she reached the doorway, she paused. The queen, with Sabina's
help, had changed to an ornate lace sleeping gown. Over it she wore a
crimson robe of cut velvet.
Mary was seated before a looking glass. Sabina stood behind her,
brushing her long red hair.
"What did you wish, Lindsey?"
Lindsey felt suddenly shy in front of her queen. With her head bowed
she said, "I was so overjoyed to see my family, Majesty, that I
neglected to thank you properly. You must know what their presence
here means to me. How can I ever thank you for your kindness?"
"You thank the wrong person." The queen met her gaze in the looking
glass. With a gentle smile she said, "I thought you knew, my lady. It
was not I who sent for your father and brothers, though, of course, I
gave my approval
The other woman saw the questioning look that came into Lindsey's eyes,
and her smile grew.
"Aye, Lindsey. It is Jamie MacDonald you must thank."
Chapter Eighteen
Jamie. As Lindsey made her way down the darkened hall, her heart sang
with the knowledge. It was not the queen who had arranged for her
family's visit; it was Jamie. Sensing her anguish, he had done the one
thing that would set her mind at ease.
Why was she surprised by his unexpected kindness? And so touched by
it? It was like him to do such a thing. There was a goodness in him, a
kindness that belied his fearsome appearance and his reputation for
heartlessness. Perhaps that was why she loved him so.
She stopped dead in her tracks. Loved him? Could it be? Her eyes
filled with tears and she wiped at them furiously. She must be more
weary than she thought. Aye. There could be no other reason for the
sudden rush of foolish emotion. She found herself weeping again.
She was not being foolish, she thought with sudden in sight. She loved
Jamie MacDonald. Aye, truly loved him. Though she did not know how or
when it had happened . she knew it was so. She knew it when she had
awakened to find him by her side, offering her comfort. She knew it
when he kissed her and the icy fear around her heart melted. A fear
that she had carried for all those long years. She knew it when she
looked into the handsome face of
Ian MacPherson and felt nothing. No other man would ever tempt her.
No man except Jamie MacDonald.
Love. The thought terrified her. It altered everything. What could
she do about this strange new situation? How could she possibly go on
sharing a suite of rooms with a man and pretend she did not have these
feelings? How could she calmly sit across the room from him and not
blurt out the words?
Her footsteps quickened. The lilt of laughter bubbled to her lips.
She had to see him. This very instant. She needed to see if he would
look---different somehow.
At their sitting chamber she threw open the door and strode inside.
She experienced fleeting disappointment when the room was empty.
Without thought to what she was doing, she bounded across the room to
the door of Jamie's sleeping chamber. With a quick knock she flung the
door wide and stepped inside.
Jamie had removed his tunic and shirt. He stood on the balcony, his
thoughts as dark as the waters of the loch far below.
He was aware of the devious game that Ian MacPherson was playing. But
he could not be a party to it. MacPherson was aware that he cut a fine
figure. And he was very good at pretty words and lingering looks that
were meant to set a maiden's heart all aflutter.
Jamie's hand clenched around the stem of his goblet. If such things
impressed Lindsey, then there was nothing to be done about it but to
turn away. And whatever grief he felt, no one would be the wiser. At
least he had not made a fool of himself by dee! ing his love.
When his door was thrown open, he turned. For long moments he could
not believe his eyes. The object of his tortured thoughts stood before
him, smiling as if she had just learned a great secret.
Now what was she up to?
Lindsey came rushing into Jamie's sleeping chamber,
then skidded to an abrupt halt. Her eyes widened. What had she been
thinking of? From her position by the door way, she could see that he
had prepared himself for sleep. He was in a state of undress.
Moonlight streamed through the balcony window, casting him in
mysterious silvery light and darkened shadow. As always, he was
scowling at her. She suddenly felt shy and awkward.
"Forgive me, my lord. I..." Her brain seemed to have gone numb. She
could think of no plausible reason for such uncivilized behavior.
"I
was told by the queen that you were responsible for bringing my father
and brothers here to Lochleven. I wanted to thank you. "
"You are most welcome."
"I had thought to wait until the morrow to offer my thanks, but my
heart was too joyous to wait that long. I had to thank you now, before
I retired for the night. Else, I could never sleep." She was
babbling, she knew, but she could not seem to stop herself. She had a
terrible need to fill the silence With silly prattle.
He said nothing. He merely stared at her with that strange, haunted
look.
"Well, I" -she twisted her hands nervously and turned toward the door
"--am keeping you from your sleep, my lord."
"Nay." He quickly crossed the room and placed a hand on her sleeve to
stay her departure.
"I am not tired, my lady. I was merely looking over the grounds of
Lochleven and thinking of the Highlands."
She felt his hand, warm upon her arm, and her heartbeat quickened.
"Do you miss the Highlands?"
"Aye."
"As do I."
"You?" He smiled suddenly, erasing the frown that until then had her
paralyzed with fear.
"After planning and scheming to journey to Edinburgh, you miss the
High lands?"
"Aye." She looked away, unable to bear the fact that he was laughing
at her. How could he be so cruel, when her heart was brimming with
such love?
"My heart will always lie in the Highlands."
"As will mine."
She swallowed. There was nothing more to say.
As if sensing her uneasiness, he broke the silence.
"Will you have some ale, my lady?"
Before she could respond he crossed to a sideboard and filled a goblet.
Handing it to her he said, "We will drink to the safe arrival of your
family."
"Aye." She gave him a warm smile before lifting the goblet to her
lips. The ale heated her blood. She took an other sip.
"Did your father approve of his rooms?"
Lindsey shrugged.
"I do not know. When I realized that I had forgotten to thank the
queen, I left
the others and went to her chambers. It was she who told
me of your kindness."
He felt a lightness around his heart. She had' not gone with Ian
MacPherson to his suite of rooms. Had gone, in fact, no farther than
the queen's chambers. There would have been no time for MacPherson to
stdal a kiss.
He caught her hand and led her to the balcony. She was so happy just
to feel his touch upon her, she followed with a light heart.
On the gentle breeze was the tang of the river and the perfumed
fragrance of spring flowers.
"It is pleasant to watch the loch by moonlight." He suddenly
pointed.
"Look. There."
Lindsey followed his direction and saw a shooting star making its
glittering path across the velvet sky.
"It is said to bring anything you wish for," she murmured fervently.
She closed her eyes for a moment and Jamie had to fight | the urge to
haul her into his arms and kiss her until she ] was breathless. He
leaned a hip against the balcony and studied her.
Light from the moon bathed her in a golden halo. On the breeze her
hair was a silken veil, glinting with sparks of fire. Her eyes
reflected the starlight, glittering like emeralds. There was a
luminous quality about her this night that he had never noticed before.
He had gone quiet again. When he was like this, Lindsey could think
of nothing to say.
"Why do you stare at me like that, my lord?" Very deliberately he set
down his goblet and took a step toward her. As he did, she took a step
back.
"I like looking at you, my lady. It pleases me to look at you:" She
felt her cheeks flame and was grateful for the night that would hide
her blushing reaction to his words. He took another step toward her,
but as she backed away she felt the scrape of the cold stone against
her hips. He took the goblet from her hands. Her heart leaped to her
throat.
"I fear, my lady," he murmured as his hands settled on her shoulders,
"that I must kiss you .... " He dragged her close. His eyes shone with
a strange light.
"Or go mad."
His mouth closed over hers. Heat flowed between them. Each felt the
jolt. And each struggled to deny it. This kiss was different from all
that had gone before. This time there was more than passion, or
desire, or need. Now there was knowledge and something more.
Possession.
His lips moved over hers, seeking, giving. His strong hands drew her
closer, until she was pressed firmly to his chest. Her heart
thundered. As did his. She was suddenly terrified of the feelings that
tumbled through her. Feelings that left her dazed and shaken. She
wanted to go on kissing him like this until dawn light streaked the
sky. She wanted him to take her higher, higher than she had ever been
before. But she was afraid.
Pushing herself free of his embrace she whispered, "I must leave here
at once."
"Nay." He caught her arm, but she shook off his hand and nearly ran in
her eagerness to escape If she did not flee, she would be lost. Lost
to a passion that she did not yet understand.
He watched as she sped across the room and flounced out in a flurry of
skirts and petticoats. For long minutes he stared at the door that
closed behind her.
He picked up his goblet, but his hand shook so badly he spilled the
ale. With a savage oath, he hurled the goblet from the balcony,
Seconds later he heard it shatter on the courtyard below.
"Good morrow, my lady."