Her Effect (many years later)
The purpose is not to see you again
or even for you to read these words.
The purpose is to speak
and not tell.
Through your existence
I am bound to duty.
I believe
the dreams we spark
always win against mere reality.
And that perceptions of this Earth
are nothing
compared to the fantasies inside our minds.
With your memory, coincidence vanishes.
I hold the history you are and
choose to be a soldier of God.
I believe
rebirth through death occurs many times
throughout this life,
and some things never really end.
I want to tell you,
the love I hold for you is infinite,
eternal, and devastating.
You will not know.
I want to tell you,
this keeps my faith sharp;
my pen moving across the page.
I will never say these words.
Instead,
I will honor your memory
through a choice.
Two Lives (a hidden fire)
You exist through two lives,
unknowingly.
With your sight,
a perspective I do not know;
a story I will never ask to hear.
With my sight,
the perspective I am;
the story I will hide.
I aim myself at you
through the lens of heaven -
making every moment desperate,
unbalanced;
beautifully broken by
you memory.
Accidentally Perfect (coincidence tricks)
Stretching your gaze across past events
reveals truths too small to notice
while living in the moment.
Broken perfect through divine method,
“Save me from arrogance,” and
“Lead me into calm solitude.”
But you have already said that prayer,
this gift so hard to harness,
what starts as a clue becomes an obvious instruction
carefully destroying yet studying the reason
for a life to exist -
part of the unseen consequence to every action
placed on a timeline leading up to this very second.
“Send me toward comfort,” and
“Crash my life into chaos.”
And you would not say that prayer.
Knowing too much to turn back now
is the best reason to realize
there was never any chance involved -
looking back.
Loud (giant shout)
and do you really think
that’s what she looks like
do you really think
that’s what you look like
what would her assessment be
if she honestly spoke “I am…”
just when I think
these thoughts have her under control
I realize
NO SOUL IS UNWORTHY;
HERS IS THE ONE I LOVE
loud inside the mind
isn’t it
when that happens
Angelform (fate decider and chaos pusher)
Summon up the depths, yes, the toughest metal.
You will need it all soon.
There is a form you can take,
a free energy,
able to move within places you cannot see.
Find me, quickly,
you must see while you still can.
How great the temptation is
to give up
as I feel the wings bursting -
ripping through my back;
my mind dissolving.
The glance will be terrifying; then you will know.
Do not ever forget.
My eyes catch fire; then
nothing matters anymore.
I see a truth that will change me enough
to almost kill me.
No matter what happens now,
the risk was necessary -
we need you.
No one will see.
I awake wondering where I am;
there are bars on the windows.
Everything has an obvious explanation,
except for these wings
no one can see.
Dusty Chairs (meditation reach)
Sitting on forgotten chairs
I walk toward the stratosphere
above the realm of people’s stares,
and what I would be seeing here,
if I knew them
and they were near.
A key slips into an unseen lock
doors open to forgotten thoughts
waiting for me, pushing me in,
the dusty chairs whisper my name.
My soul seeks shelter as soft dust stirs;
The light is so dim my vision blurs.
If I cannot move,
then the world will,
quieting my heart; keeping me still.
Dust consumes the Earth tonight,
granting me a different sight -
eyes that can see the wind.
To drape the chairs with second skins,
long dusty torrents will begin
to unveil truth behind the lies
under the surface where my mind hides,
patiently,
like dust that flies.
“Catch the truth and hold it tight!”
Creeping shut for another night
the doors sleep silent, out of sight,
ready to kill, ready to fight.
The chairs will rest, and I will stand,
trusting dust to steady my hand.
###
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