I couldn’t hide the truth from her probing eyes now, though. She saw everything, her hands tightening on mine.
“So, he didn’t tell you that he’s a married man?”
Nothing, absolutely nothing, could have prepared me for the last two words that came out of her mouth. I could have handled anything else. Anything … but that.
Married?
The word repeatedly echoed in my head. A question, an exclamation, a prayer that it was the wrong words. It had to be the wrong words.
Adrian wouldn’t do something like that to me. He cared about me. He …
“No, he’s not. He can’t be,” I tried to deny, but in my heart, I knew she was telling the truth. Six billion people on the planet, and I trusted only Scarlett to never lie to me.
My hands were trembling, and she tightened her hold on them. “I’m so sorry, Tor, but he is. Ciro wouldn’t lie about something like that. He talked to Volkov’s wife personally last night.”
My heart was turning into ice in my chest, freezing over in an attempt to protect myself.
Jerking my hands out of Scarlett’s, I stood and crossed to the window, glaring unseeingly out into the backyard.
I had told him I loved him, had given him a part of myself I never thought I would give to anyone. And he had taken it, without so much as a blink of his dark eyes to suggest that he wasn’t free to be mine. I should have known better. I should have suspected. Anya had tried to help me, had warned my twin to keep me away, but I hadn’t listened. I had been stupid and gullible and so fucking naive it was killing me.
Or maybe it was the suffocating pain in my cold heart as it was shattering, even as I commanded it not to feel.
The pain was blinding, and I just stood there, trying to make it go away. To seal myself off from the hurt and destruction that Adrian Volkov had caused.
I couldn’t let Scarlett see it. Couldn’t let her see how embarrassingly low I had fallen for a man who had played me for a fool. I knew she would be there for me, would try to help me get over Adrian, but I couldn’t deal with that right now. I didn’t want sympathy from anyone.
Slowly, I turned to face her, trying to act as calm as I could. “Who is she?”
Did he love her?
“I didn’t ask. I knew I would tell you if I did. His wife isn’t your enemy, Tor. He is. He’s the enemy. He played you, and if you have still been talking to him, knowing he had a secret like this …” She trailed off.
I knew she was right. I didn’t need her to tell me any of that. I knew it. Knew that the faceless Mrs. Volkov was probably the only innocent in this game Adrian was playing with me. Knew that my beloved Russian wolf was my enemy now, not just the man I loved. And I knew—fucking knew—that I had let him use me in this game he was playing. I had been a willing pawn, had so easily given in.
“He said it was a mistake,” I gritted out, my teeth clenched so hard my jaw began to ache. I welcomed the physical pain. It helped make it easier to block out the emotional cuts that were making me slowly bleed to death on the inside. “A mistake. Right. I’m so fucking stupid. And naive. How did I let some guy make me that gullible, Scarlett?”
“Because you fell for him,” she said, hitting on the truth point-blank. “And women do stupid things when they’re in love.”
I couldn’t hide my flinch from her words. Once more, she was right.
Never again. I was never going to let Adrian or anyone else hurt me like that ever again.
I turned back to look out the window. I didn’t see anything but the path I had taken the last few nights to get out of the compound, another reminder of just how stupid I had really been.
“Can you go, Scar? I … I need to be alone right now so I can digest all this.”
I heard her moving behind me, but I didn’t turn to look at her. A moment later, I felt her hands on my shoulders, squeezing them in an effort to offer me the unconditional love I knew she had for me. That I had for her.
“It’s going to be okay, Tor. Maybe not today, maybe not a month from now, but it will eventually be just a memory.”
I nodded at her words, but I didn’t speak. Two tears spilled free, yet I couldn’t wipe them away without alerting her to the fact I was crying.
After a few moments, she gave me another squeeze then left.
I stood there for a long time, my eyes closed as I forced the rest of my tears back and waited until I was sure my twin wasn’t going to burst back into my room. With each minute that passed, I could hear my heart beat loud in my ears, a slow beat, as if my heart was giving up under the pressure of the pain that now weighed it down.
Nearly ten minutes passed before I moved on unstable legs across the room. I dropped down on the edge of my bed and pulled my phone from under my pillow. His last text seemed to laugh at me as I unlocked the screen. My fingers were unsteady as I typed a reply.
See you tonight.
Chapter 12
Adrian
I felt on edge all day, counting down the hours until I would see Victoria, who was feeling better. I wanted her in my home tonight, in my bed. I wanted her head on my pillow, my sheets covering her perfect body as she slept beside me. If I had my way, she wasn’t going home that night.
I was keeping her now and forever.
The day went by slowly, each minute feeling as if it took an hour. I was getting irritated at the slowness of the clock. I wanted it to be time for my kotyonok to be in my arms again, not dealing with everything else expected of me.
Late that evening, I had a meeting with Cristiano and Vito down at their warehouse. There were already two heavy duty, black SUVs waiting when my driver pulled up out front. I had four men with me, when I normally went alone or only took one of them. The warehouse was isolated, so I had brought the extra men just as a precaution.
Two of Vito’s men were waiting outside the building. They looked like secret service agents with their suits, dark sun glasses, and communication devices in their ears.
As I approached the door, I expected one of them to stop me and pat me down. Instead, I got a chin lift from one of them, yet they stopped my men from following me.
Inside, I found Cristiano and Ciro waiting with Vito and his right-hand man, Benito Donati. None of their guards were around, but with both younger men there, I didn’t expect there to be. Ciro was a badass motherfucker. He could have taken care of an entire roomful of people if needed. Cristiano was a legend with what he could do with a knife, or so my sources had told me. In a fight, I wasn’t sure which of us would come out on top, though my money would have been on myself.
“On time for once,” Vito grumbled as I moved farther into the room.
“I know how you dislike being kept waiting,” I said with a shrug.
Something flared in his eyes, maybe respect. I didn’t care enough of what he thought of me to worry about what it might have been. “What have you learned about Jr.?”
“He’s kept a low profile. Until last night when he showed up outside my sister’s club, I hadn’t seen him, although my men have spotted him a time or two around the city. None of them were able to follow him, though, so there have been no credible leads on him.”
Vito’s lips twisted in displeasure. “How the fuck can this little prick be like a ghost? He’s stupid, clumsy.”
“His second is probably calling the shots, Pop,” Cristiano told his father. “I told you, Fontana is smart. He has to be helping to keep Jr. in the wind.”
“Well, fucking take out Fontana!” Vito roared before forcefully making himself calm down when Benito touched a hand to his shoulder in warning.
“I dislike Jr. as much as the next person, but why are you in such a rush to get to him?”
The air around Ciro seemed to grow colder, electric, as he turned his blue eyes on me. “He approached Scarlett several days ago. Plus, he was working with a family in Connecticut in an attempt to set up camp here on the East Coast. They kidnapped a woman w
ho is important to our West Coast contacts.”
If I had known that fucker had approached Victoria’s sister, I would have had my men all over him instead of just keeping their eyes open for him. This changed everything.
As soon as the meeting was over and I was back in the SUV, heading for my apartment building, I told my men to grab the fucker the next time they saw him. I would get that little dick and hand him over to Ciro personally.
By the time I got home, it was nearly time for Victoria to arrive. I wasn’t planning for us to go out, so after my shower, I put on a pair of sweats and was pulling an old T-shirt over my head when I heard the elevator arriving.
Fuck, I couldn’t wait to see her.
Grinning because just the thought of her in my home brought me the kind of peace I had been without most of my life, I left my bedroom. By the time I got to the living room, she was just stepping off the elevator.
I could sense something was wrong the instant I saw her. She wasn’t wearing her usual sexy little dresses and killer heels. Instead, she had on pink sweatpants that were at least a size too big on her and hung low on her hips. Her shirt was a thin cami in the same shade of pink, easily showing me that she wasn’t wearing a bra. It didn’t even cover her belly completely, giving me a flash of two inches of delectable skin between the end of her shirt and the top of her sweats. Her hair was pulled up into a messy knot on top of her head, a few strands falling down around her face like a halo. Dark sunglasses covered her eyes even though it was dark outside.
Dressed like this, I could honestly say she had never looked sexier to me. She hadn’t dressed up for me and I liked that.
The glasses, however, told their own story.
Something cold settled into my stomach as I crossed the distance between us, even as I realized what I was feeling right then.
Fear.
Before I could reach her, she froze up, and I forced myself to stop. This close, I could see she wasn’t wearing any makeup and there were tear stains down her face.
“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
She swallowed hard and took her glasses off, revealing swollen, red-rimmed eyes. It was obvious she had been crying for some time, but they looked painfully dry now. She just stood there, staring up at me for several long moments.
Somehow, I knew what was wrong. Why she was so upset. Why she looked as if I had betrayed her and now her heart was shattered. She wasn’t trying to hide it, wasn’t trying to play coy and make me beg her to tell me what was wrong. It was all there in her brown eyes, condemning me as I deserved to be condemned.
My heart dropped into my gut, and for a moment, I couldn’t make my voice work. Everything that I should have done, should have said and explained to her, echoed in my head, but it was too late now.
“Kotyonok—”
She lifted a hand, silencing me. “No,” she whispered, but it was just as effective as if she had screamed. “You don’t get to talk. You had your chance to tell me the truth. You had so many chances. Instead, you played your little game.”
“That’s not how it was. You are not a game to me.” I raked my hands through my hair, knowing if I didn’t do something, I was going to lose her. Fuck, I couldn’t lose her. “I knew that if I told you, you wouldn’t have given me a chance.”
“Of course not!” she cried. “You’re fucking married, Adrian. You aren’t free to be with me or anyone else but your wife. You lied. You … You …” The sob that came from her sounded as if it was destroying something deep inside her, making her body jerk from the force of it.
My own body ached at how destroyed she was. I wanted to take away her pain, wanted to absorb it into myself and keep it safely away from her.
This was my fault. I had caused this.
Fuck.
“Klara is only my wife on paper,” I tried to make her understand. “There isn’t and never has been any emotional connection between us.”
“That doesn’t even matter! You have a wife. Fuck. A wife. You married someone else. You gave her your name, and now you’re trying to make me your mistress.” She closed her eyes, the pain on her face tearing me apart. “I won’t be any man’s mistress. Not even yours.”
I closed the distance between us, catching her arms when she started to turn away from me and pulling her close. But it was like there was an invisible force between us, holding her back from me, making it impossible for me to truly reach her. “Don’t do this, kotyonok. Don’t leave. Let me explain.”
“There is nothing you can possibly say that will make this better.” Two tears fell down her cheeks, adding to the tracks on her face. Her head hung low, as if she didn’t have the strength to keep it upright.
This wasn’t her. My strong, capable kitten was gone. Replaced by this broken, hollow shell.
“Let me go, Adrian. I don’t belong to you. I’m not yours.”
“The fuck you’re not!” I roared in desperation and lifted her into my arms. Then I backed her into the nearest wall, my lower body locking her in place as I lowered my head and kissed her jaw, her neck, her shoulder. “You will always belong to me,” I told her with a growl against her skin. “And I will forever be yours.”
She was trembling against me, and I could feel the heat of her pussy as she pressed her lower body harder against mine. Maybe her heart was locked away from me now, but her body still responded.
“No.” There was a quiver in her voice. “We can’t do this, Adrian. We can’t be together. You have a wife.”
“Who means nothing to me. While you …” I captured her lips and kissed her long and hard, trying to put everything I felt for her into it. Trying to show her how much she meant to me. When I lifted my head, we were both breathing hard. “… You are my world, Victoria. You are everything. I won’t let you go. I won’t give you up.”
“You must,” she whispered, her chin trembling as another tear fell from her beautiful eyes. “I’m not doing this with you anymore, Adrian. I can’t be with you.”
Chapter 13
Victoria
Every part of my body that could hurt, did.
I barely had the energy to get back into the compound and up to my room before I fell into bed and just laid there, staring at the wall. I knew I should have gotten up to check my blood sugar. At the very least, I needed a shot of insulin.
But I couldn’t bring myself to care.
I didn’t want a shot. I didn’t want to feel better. So what if the diabetes won this time? Who would care if I let my glucose levels get out of hand? Who would mourn me if I just gave up and let it take me?
Maybe it would put an end to this empty feeling in my chest. Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t have to wake up in the morning to the millions of shattered pieces that were my heart.
Maybe.
I didn’t know what time it was, and I really didn’t care. It hadn’t even been midnight when I had finally gotten back from Adrian’s apartment, and I had no sense of time passing. It could have been an hour, a day, or even a fucking year that had gone by. And still, I just stared at a spot on the wall.
It was free of pictures, but there was a smear in the paint, as if whoever had painted this room had stuck their hand in the paint by accident. I could almost make out the little swirls of his fingerprints. My eyes traced over it, counting every micro ridge.
Firm, but soft hands touched my arm. I barely paid my sister any mind as she took blood from the middle finger on my right hand then cursed at whatever number showed up on the meter she had just used to check my glucose levels. I didn’t feel the prick of the needle as she gave me a shot in my belly or even the feel of her hands as she stroked my hair back from my face.
I didn’t move, didn’t so much as blink. Just lay there, staring at the same spot on the wall.
My eyes began to feel heavy. Without realizing it, my lids lowered and sleep consumed me …
The sound of birds singing outside my window pulled me out of a deep, drea
mless sleep. I laid there for a long while, the events of the day before pressing down on me like hundred pound weights. I hadn’t closed the blinds or the curtains the night before and now the sun was streaming through, brightening the room as if every light was on.
My head felt fuzzy and ached like I had a hangover. The hurt in my chest made me feel hollow, but as it all came back into focus, I grew angry at myself for the way I had let everything pull me down the day before.
This was my fault. I had let a guy get too close and attach himself to something vital within me.
I couldn’t blame anyone but myself.
As the anger grew, I remembered how I hadn’t cared if I had died the night before. How I had wanted to give up on everything and everyone, screw the consequences because I wouldn’t have been around to deal with them. That was the coward’s way out.
I did have people who would mourn me. My twin would have been left feeling only half-alive without me, just as I would feel without her if something took her away from me. And Cristiano … Fuck, I couldn’t leave my brother behind. He was a hardass, yet I knew he loved me more than life itself.
I rolled over in bed, only just then realizing that Scarlett must have tucked the covers up around me after giving me an insulin shot the night before. My fingers tangled in the softness of my comforter, my anger growing into rage.
And the real icing on the cake?
I had let Adrian see me at my lowest. Had let him see just how broken he had made me.
Fucking fuck, fuck.
I couldn’t let this bring me to my knees, even if that was where I had been the night before. I was made of stronger stuff than that.
For the first time, I actually wanted to be more like my mother. Everyone had always assumed I was just like her, but they didn’t understand that I had tried so hard not to become like her darker side.