“Why?” She kissed his forehead softly. “What I said to you that day in Los Angeles is the truth. Still is.” She ran her fingers through his hair as he gazed into her eyes again. “I’ve been dreaming about this impossibility for what feels like forever. Now that it’s actually happening, there’s no way I’m telling you to stop.”
The way he’d been gazing at her suddenly hardened. “Who the fuck is Gilbert?”
God, no. Kelli scrambled for a response. “A friend.”
He pulled away, raising a brow. “I thought you said only your father and the firm know you’re here.”
“It’s the truth. Gilbert is the only other person who has the number to my pre-paid phone, but he doesn’t know where I am.”
“So he’s a very close friend then?” His expression hardened further, and Kelli felt herself losing him as he shook his head.
Then he was gone. He pulled back, completely stepping away from the counter and roughly ran his fingers through his hair. “Don’t answer that.” He let his head fall back. “It’s none of my business. I’m sorry. I’m sorry about this.” He motioned to her on the counter. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Don’t be. I’m glad you did.”
“This can’t happen.” He ran his hands down his face. “I can’t do this. As much as I want to, Kel, I can’t.”
“Why?” she asked, feeling pathetic again, even though she already knew the answer.
Isaiah was admitting what she’d always suspected—that he wanted this as much as she did. As much as that gave her heart the tiniest of hopes, she also knew how adamant he was about this.
“You were with my brother,” he said, exasperated.
“No, I wasn’t.” She hopped off the counter, feeling completely frustrated. “I know it’s how he made it sound, but we were never together. I never slept with him. I went out with him a handful of times, and most of those times were only so I could talk to you because I was desperate to explain myself.”
“It doesn’t matter.” He shook his head. “As far as he’s concerned, you’re his ex and that makes anything between you and me impossible.”
Kelli stared at him, not sure how much of her dignity she was willing to give up to win this argument. On the one hand, he was the only man she’d never been able to get over, despite there not being much to get over in the first place. She’d lowered herself and already swallowed her pride to chase after him just to be given the opportunity to plead her case. But there was something else Kelli picked up on. If they did this, this would be more than just sex. Her past with Nathan wouldn’t matter if this were to stay between the two of them here. It seemed he was saying if they did more this wouldn’t end here where his brother would never know about it. If anything more happened, Isaiah wanted it all.
That should’ve been music to her ears, but she lifted her chin, gathering her composure. Because in the face of all that, he was also making not doing this seem so easy. It’d be effortless for him to just pass on anything more between them. Just like that, he could walk away and never look back as easily as he’d already done once. And even though her body was still on fire from his kisses, he still hadn’t reached for her again to say he needed his lips on hers as desperately as she already needed to feel his again.
“Well, we can’t argue with impossible, can we?”
“No.” He licked his lips, exhaling slowly. “We can’t.” He started out of the kitchen then paused. “Again, I apologize—”
“Stop,” she said, willing the knot building in her throat to go away, and shook her head. “Just don’t.”
She swallowed back the emotion, hating that she could still taste him when she licked her lips. By the time she turned around from the stove where she’d walked to so he wouldn’t see the tears, he was in his room, door closed.
Chapter 12: Extended Assignment
Isaiah
If it’d been hard enough to get any sleep that first night here, it had been impossible to last night. Since he’d skipped out on dinner again, just to avoid having to face Kelli, he’d even gotten up in the middle of the night to put a snack together. But even afterward, he’d hardly slept at all just thinking about the day’s happenings.
One day. One fucking day with her, and he hadn’t been able to fight the temptation to taste her lips just one more time. At that moment of insanity, he’d thought he’d get what had been building all day out of his system and be done with it. Now he couldn’t stop thinking about it—that and the fact that she hadn’t wanted him to stop. She was still claiming she felt what she had way back.
He’d given up on sleep before it was even six that morning. He’d begun to gather up and pack the few things he’d unpacked since he got there so that the moment he got the word about the guy her dad was sending over he’d be ready to go. It didn’t matter if it was late in the evening either. Last night had been too close. He wasn’t spending another night in the same house with her. He’d get a room in town if he had to. But he had to get out of there the moment he was able to.
The very thought of what Nathan and the rest of his family would say about Isaiah getting involved with Kelli made him cringe. He couldn’t allow anything of the sort to happen. Sure it’d been a year, and according to her, she and Nathan hadn’t slept together. Isaiah squeezed his eyes shut as once again he was assaulted by the ugly memories: memories of how his sixteen-year-old brother’s vulnerable heart had been torn apart by that conniving, selfish bitch and how long it’d taken Isaiah to get over the guilt.
Never again.
Only now he knew being around Kelli much longer might have him changing his mind about that. And he still wasn’t sure if this would be worth it—she would be worth it. Her life was still a complicated one, and already she’d disappeared on his ass once because of it. Isaiah had to get out of there now, before he gave into his weakening heart and other parts of his body that, after coming alive as they did yesterday, would be far more persuasive now.
He was still sitting in his bedroom, unwilling to go out into the kitchen where he could smell the coffee already when his phone rang. The moment he saw it was his cousin he answered.
“Moe, what’s up?”
“Good news and bad news,” his cousin chirped. “The good news is Raquel’s dad is willing to double what he’d originally agreed to pay for this gig if you’d just stay on a little longer.”
“Not a chance.” Isaiah stood up from where he’d been sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Yeah, well, the bad news is you may have to anyway.”
“What? Why?”
“Someone’s supposed to be calling her later today, but her dad said you could tell her if you want. There was an ambush last night at a bar in East Village. Several people were murdered. Among them were one of her brothers and an uncle. Her dad says he’s certain they were targeted. He’s gone into hiding along with her other brothers. All his guys will be tied up for the next few days. He doesn’t think he can get anyone out there for at least another two or three days, but more than ever now, he doesn’t want her left alone.”
Isaiah had gone cold the moment Moe mentioned Kelli’s brother and uncle being murdered. He had no idea how close she was to her brothers or uncles, but if they were anything like his family, she was going to be devastated.
“I’ll tell her,” he said, feeling a bit numb as he stood there in the middle of his room. “It’s something she should know as soon as possible.”
Moe gave him the information on which brother and uncle had been the ones murdered. The unrelenting need to get the hell out of there had done a sudden about face. All he could think of now was comforting Kelli and, alarmingly, not letting her out of his sight. Every one of his other worries would just have to take a back seat to this now. As much as he’d been avoiding her all of last night and that morning, he was already heading out to the kitchen with Moe still on the line.
“Tell him not to worry.” Kelli turned to face him from the other side of the kitch
en counter when she heard his voice. “I’ll stay here as long as he needs me to.”
“Good man,” Moe said, sounding relieved. “I knew you’d come around. So how’s it been? You two getting along any better? From the way you first responded to the good news, I take it not so much?”
Kelli was staring at him curiously. Isaiah was sure hearing him say he’d stay there as long as they needed him to and with such concord, especially given what he’d said yesterday, had to be confusing to her. “I’m gonna talk to her right now, man. I’ll call you back later.”
“Gotcha.”
He hung up and met Kelli’s inquiring eyes.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
Isaiah’s years in the fire department should’ve prepared him for this. This wouldn’t be the first time he delivered the news of someone’s death to his loved ones. But it never got any easier. It was one of the few things he’d been glad he’d never have to do again, and now here he was.
He walked into the kitchen slowly. Unlike the rest of the time since he’d been here, except for his moment of weakness yesterday, he looked her square in the eyes.
“I have some bad news, sweetheart.”
Kelli’s brows shot up, and she put the mug she was holding down on the counter.
“Your brother Ron and your Uncle Seth were murdered last night.”
Her mouth fell open and he walked to her as she brought her hand over her mouth. Out of instinct, Isaiah wrapped his arms around her, and she fell into the embrace.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head.
He’d always done that when he hugged one of his sisters, but he made a mental note to be careful about how affectionate he got with her. He didn’t want a repeat of yesterday’s slip happening again. At least under these new circumstances he was fairly certain there’d be none of that.
It surprised him to see she wasn’t falling apart as he might have been if he’d gotten the news of one of his siblings being murdered. As he pulled back to study her, he realized she’d barely teared up. “I think I’ve always known I’d get this kind of news about some of my brothers or uncles someday.” She wiped the few tears she did shed away and reached for a napkin, lifting and dropping a shoulder. “Even my dad. The fact that I’m in hiding right now, when I’ve never even been involved with the business, is proof positive that everyone involved with my father’s business is living on borrowed time.”
The thought heightened the fear he had now that he’d have to watch her even closer. “I think you should quit your job at the dairy store. It’s one of the things your dad’s gonna ask you to do anyway.”
He explained to her about her dad and other brothers being in hiding now too and how he wouldn’t be able to send anyone out to replace Isaiah any time soon. Then he reiterated that he’d be willing to stay as long as they needed him. He almost felt bad that she seemed surprised by that.
“Are you sure? This isn’t the first time something similar has happened in my father’s world. They’re not even the first family members to lose their lives because of his business. I was very young the last time we were forced to hide, but I remember it felt like my mom and I were gone forever.”
Once again Isaiah assured her that he was more than okay with staying. Although the thought of being around her for much longer than he anticipated was worrisome, even more troubling was the fact that his not being there to protect her now outweighed his reservations about staying here in the first place.
“Are you and your brothers very close?”
She shook her head, exhaling. The complete lack of tears further confirmed just how not close she was to them. Isaiah would have been a mess for days—weeks—if he lost one of his siblings.
“They’re all much older than I am,” she explained with a shrug as they both made their way into the front room. “Ron was the oldest.” She was quiet for a moment, staring straight ahead, then spoke again almost in a whisper but didn’t turn to face him. “I’m my father’s bastard child. My brothers are from his first wife. My mom didn’t know he was married when she got involved with him. She sheltered me from my father’s business and other family as much as she could. I didn’t really get to know any of them until after my mom passed, when I was in my late teens, and he introduced us formally, but they knew of me for years. He never kept me a secret from any of them, including his first wife, whom he left when he found out my mom was pregnant. My mother refused to marry him, but he made sure we stayed in his life with threats. He’s always been a powerful man, so my mom had no choice but to remain a part of his life, unless she wanted to risk losing me. She knew he’d use everything in his power to get full custody of me.”
She shook her head, glancing around the room, and Isaiah noticed she avoided making eye contact now. “I didn’t know any of this, of course, until I was old enough to start asking questions like why she never married my dad, especially because my dad always told me he loved us. Not just me. I was thirteen when my mom told me the whole ugly truth about my dad, his business, and the other women.”
Kelli finally turned to him and asked him to take a seat. Isaiah sat right next to her, feeling the need to be that close in case she did suddenly break down. As a former firefighter, he knew sometimes it took some time for news like this to sink in and some people went into shock when it did. Though she seemed fine, just pensive. The more he watched and listened to her tell him more about her childhood, the more he knew he was in trouble. He felt as mesmerized as he had that first night he’d met her—as mesmerized as he’d been when they parted ways the Monday morning after the weekend was over.
He swallowed hard, trying to concentrate on the fact that she’d just lost two family members. Regardless of what she’d said, this had to be a trying time for her. The last thing he should have been thinking about while he stared at her was cradling her face again—devouring that mouth—and especially not how badly he wanted to make love to her again.
“So your dad and brothers are in the Mafia?” he asked, trying to get his head back on the subject.
“He’s never called it that, but he may as well have. Maybe even worse. It hadn’t gotten this bad again until about maybe six months before I met you. Nelson, the guy I’d been dating, was run off the road by some random car. It wasn’t until I just happened to mention it to my dad that he let me in on what was going on. He sold a big part of the business, and a few of his silent partners and one who’s particularly ruthless felt cheated out of their cut. They’d been dealing with him for a while, but he’d started making threats. So my boyfriend being run off the road didn’t seem so random to my dad. He said maybe they thought I was in the car with him. When he started talking about me possibly having one of his goons babysit me, I refused. But I had to at least tell my boyfriend what was going on. Things weren’t the greatest between us as it was. Needless to say, after a few more random incidents and a brick through his apartment window on a night I happened to be there, it was over between us. I can’t blame the guy. You’ve no idea how humiliating it is to have someone dump you because they don’t want to be involved with someone who has a family like mine.”
She shrugged; then her expression turned even more serious, and she glanced away. “After that, I swore off getting serious with anyone I’d have to warn about my family—why I didn’t even want to give you my full name the night we met. It’d been easy enough up until that weekend, knowing I couldn’t get involved in anything serious. Then I spent that weekend with you. What I felt . . .” She shook her head, glancing away. “I was so ready to take a chance—convinced myself that it’d be fine. Then I got the texts”—she turned back to face him—“threatening texts about harming my new boyfriend if I didn’t talk to my dad. At first, I thought they were bluffing. I called them on it, saying I didn’t have a boyfriend, but then they sent photos of you and me at Seaside Village. Even then, I considered ignoring them but decided it’d be best to wait before responding to your texts. My hope
was because they never actually used your name that my dad was right about them likely not knowing who you were. He suggested that I stay away from you for your own good because it was the only way they could get to you.
“He even suggested that I continue hanging out—having lunch and coffee—with my other male friends, because it’d confuse the idiots trying to scare me into begging my daddy to give into their demands. It’s why I agreed to have a drink with Nathan in the first place. I really did plan on contacting you once it all died down, and my dad assured me it would. But then I saw you again at your uncles’ and you seemed hurt—angry. I can’t explain how that felt. All I knew was I had to explain to you why I’d blown you off, and then being near you again . . . I just . . .”
Isaiah took that all in as she glanced away and sat there pensively again for a moment. Not only had she had a valid reason for not wanting to return his calls, it bordered on honorable. If in fact she had felt what she claimed she did, then ignoring his texts and calls had been a sacrifice for her—a torment. It sure as hell had felt like that to him from the moment he arrived. With his heart nearly bursting, he almost reached out for her, until he remembered Nathan. So he bit his tongue because he knew he shouldn’t say what he was thinking—he couldn’t.
She shook her head suddenly as if to shake the awkward silence, turning back to the kitchen. “I forgot all about the waffle batter I’d just made before you walked out. Would you like one?”
With that, she stood and walked back to the kitchen. Breaking the news to her about her brother and uncle had been a lot easier than he’d imagined. Somehow he’d been expecting and had prepared himself for hysterics. But he supposed it made sense if she were never close to her brothers. She was probably even more unacquainted with her uncle. She’d hardly mentioned him at all.
“If you’re making them anyway, I’ll take one,” he said.
She gazed up from the waffle maker where she’d just poured batter into . “Are you gonna sit with me and eat it or are you taking it back to your room?”