Isaiah started to try and explain, but she stopped him.
“I get it. I mean I got it that day. You were upset. You were having a hell of a day, and whatever Nathan said to you that day was what triggered such accusations. But all that BS I said to Nathan about my dignity and me having my pride is only partly true. I’ve never been weaker than when it comes to you. That very day, after not hearing from you, I broke down and called you. I wanted to apologize for saying I wanted out—take it back. But it kept going to your voicemail, and you never responded to my texts, so what was I supposed to think? I was a mess, and you of anyone should know when you’re like that you think the very worst. I thought you were never completely sure about me and that your family had so easily convinced you I was no good. So I did the only thing I could think to do. I took the job in New Mexico because I didn’t trust myself not to break down and go searching for you so I could beg you to reconsider. I’d done enough of that with you already. But how can you still question it? The moment Nathan told me about you being shot and in such critical condition I completely lost it. I told Zach—” She caught herself and shook her head. “I told Mr. Walker immediately that I had to leave.”
Every time Isaiah began to get sucked in again, she said something that thankfully gave him the strength—the anger—he needed to stay strong.
“Zach, huh?” The cancer of jealousy that had eaten away at him since the day Moe confirmed she’d taken the job, wormed it’s way back into Isaiah’s reignited bloodstream. “You’ve been there less than a week, and already you’re hanging out with the guy, sharing bottles of wine for lunch. What do you two do for dinner?”
“Nothing.” She wiped tears again and stood up straighter. “Today was the first time I’d had lunch with him.” Isaiah began to scoff. “It was! But I’ll be honest with you.”
That flattened the sarcastic smile right off his face because it made him nervous. As big a dick as he knew he was being—if he was wrong—he’d be doing some major ass kissing. He’d be glad to be wrong, rather than for her to admit there was any truth to the infuriating things he’d built up in his head. “Thank you. I’d appreciate that.”
Rage.
Isaiah had seen it in his brother’s eyes many times to know it was what he was seeing in hers now. The change was so swift he gulped uneasily. Nathan hadn’t been lying about seeing fire in her eyes.
“This will never work,” she said, the fury in her eyes still there even though the tears softened it a bit.
“What do you mean?” he asked, feeling his anxiety spike.
“All the way here”—she took a step back—“I prayed that this had all been a misunderstanding. Despite how awful you were to me the last time we spoke on the phone, I was willing to overlook that.” She swatted the tears away angrily. “Because of my love for you, my heart chose to believe that very day that you were just upset. And now finding out you were shot explained why you’d stayed away.”
“It’s the truth.” He reached his hand out to her, suddenly wanting to take back his attitude toward her. “Come here.”
She shook her head, backing further away. “But even after I explained why I’d stayed away, you still don’t believe me—just like your family out there. I can’t blame them, Isaiah. They don’t know me. They only have that first impression I made on them. I haven’t had the chance to explain all that to them, and I’ve made zero promises to them. But you . . .” She shook her head as the tears streamed down her face. “I can’t do this,” she whispered. “I won’t live like this.”
“What am I supposed to think?” Isaiah said, glancing at the door, his heart pounding in fear of her walking out because he was beginning to feel like a dick, and still the unyielding jealousy continued to suffocate him. “You said it yourself, Kel. You weren’t even qualified for the job, and yet after one interview he hired you to travel the world with him? Now he’s taking you to lunch, ordering bottles of wine at your hotel—”
“What you’re supposed to think is that there must be a reasonable explanation,” she retorted loudly. “That there’s no way I could possibly be considering anything with anyone else because I’m in love with you. That I’m not that type of person!” Her words were bordering on screeching with such genuine hurt it scared the hell out of him now.
“Only, clearly, that’s not what you think of me.” She persisted just as loudly. “Regardless of everything you and I have been through, you choose to believe the very worst. I’ll always be guilty until I prove myself innocent to you, and I will not be in a relationship like that no matter how much—”
The door flew open, and AJ stepped in. Kelli wiped tears away and reached for the box of tissue on the counter.
“Sai,” AJ said, staring at Kelli, even if she wasn’t looking at him, then turning back to Isaiah. “You can’t be having this kind of a worked-up discussion.”
“It’s okay.” Kelli said, pulling tissue out of the box before putting it down. “I was just leaving.”
“Kelli, wait,” Isaiah said as the full-on panic inundated him, once again ignoring the stabbing pain in his wound as he tried to sit up even straighter, and a pained grunt escaped him. “Don’t do this.”
“You’re the one doing this!” she cried. “You’ve done this from the beginning. I know that was my fault, but I don’t know what else to do or say anymore to make up for that.”
Seeing her turn toward the door had Isaiah pushing the rail on the side of the bed and pulling himself further up, trying desperately to ignore the agonizing pain.
“Sai.” AJ stepped toward the bed, holding his hands up. “Let her go, man. Do this later. You’re gonna hurt yourself!”
“Kelli, wait!” Isaiah said, ignoring AJ and the pain again as he pushed the bed rail further away so he could get his feet down the side. “Don’t go, Kel. I just—”
He attempted to pull his legs off the side of the bed but groaned in agony just as one of the machines started to beep.
“Stop it, man!” AJ said, rushing to him but staring at the beeping machine, then helped him back against the bed. “Look,” AJ said, turning back to face an equally concerned looking Kelli. “This is bullshi—”
“Don’t,” Isaiah said through his teeth, even as he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “Don’t talk to her like that.”
“I agree,” he heard Kelli whisper even as Isaiah continued to squeeze his eyes shut tightly, willing the excruciating pain to ease up, even if only for a moment so he could think straight.
“This is bullshit,” Kelli added; then he heard the door open.
Isaiah’s eyes flew open just as she walked out. “No!”
His yelp was too late. The door closed behind her and she was gone.
Chapter 27: Lesson Learned
Kelli
Rushing down the cold and sterile hallways of the ICU, Kelli brushed away the tears, irritated that they were unrelenting. She knew this was only the beginning. Just as she’d cried in agonized heartache the days after Isaiah’s call, she’d be crying endlessly now. Only this time that tiniest of hope was gone. This is what it would always be like with Isaiah and his family. She’d seen it in his eyes the entire time she’d explained her heart out. Seen it and heard it in AJ’s voice. The suspicion would always be there, no matter what she said or did.
As she pushed through the double door exit out into the waiting area, she saw how many people were there now. It wasn’t just his siblings anymore. There were more waiting, and she knew they were there for Isaiah because many were standing around his sisters and Nathan. The moment Nathan turned to see her he rushed to her.
“What happened?”
“We said our final good-bye. It’s over.”
Kelli kept walking because the tears didn’t subside even slightly after seeing all those people there. If anything, seeing the family that never had and never would accept her in Isaiah’s life made her more emotional. Angry even. She was not going to stand there and have this blubbering conversation in f
ront of all of them.
“What?” Nathan kept up with her even as her strides quickened. “Good-bye? Why? You’re all he’s asked for since he woke up. What happened?”
The moment they turned the corner and she was sure they were out of sight from the others she stopped and turned to him. “Things between Isaiah and me have been doomed from the beginning. I don’t know why I fooled myself into thinking otherwise. Even in our most beautiful moments, there’s always been suspicion on his part. I know it was my fault. I know I screwed up by not returning his calls in the beginning, and then”—she shook her head, angry at her cursed luck—“of all the guys I could’ve met back then, it had to be you, his brother. It’s like the gods have been against us from the beginning. This was never meant to be.”
Nathan shook his head, searching her eyes. “Did you tell him what you told me? About you assuming it was my story they kept talking about on the news?”
“I did. I explained it all, but he still believes that . . .” She brought her hand to her mouth, unable to speak anymore, then took a trembling breath. “How can he honestly believe that I would willingly stay away, knowing what he’s been through? That I wouldn’t have been here day and night the moment I found out what happened to him? After everything we’ve been through, he actually believes that I’d be starting up another relationship with someone else just like that? And your whole family thinks the same. Anything between Isaiah and me is impossible, Nathan. I was kidding myself to think this would ever work once we were back in the real world.”
“No, Kelli, it was me!” Nathan said, reaching out and placing his hands at her shoulders. “I did that. I put that in his head. You saw how angry I was earlier today. I called him right afterward, and I was hot. I probably made it sound worse than it was, and AJ and Emi were there when he took my call, so of course they’d be just as mad.”
AJ came around the corner in a rush, nearly colliding with them. His eyes flicked back and forth between them as Nathan pulled his hands off her shoulders.
“Isaiah wanted me to come after you,” he said, still not appearing the least bit happy about that. “He wants to talk to you.”
Kelli shook her head immediately, just as Emi and Olivia turned the corner, and now she had all of Isaiah’s siblings staring at her. She wiped her eyes again, trying desperately to keep it together.
“I know it’s pointless.” She managed to force a pitiful smile because she was sure they’d be glad to hear what she had to say next. “I’d hoped this could be an exception, but Isaiah’s made it clear more than once now. You really never do get a second chance at a first impression, and I made a horrid first impression on all of you—on Isaiah—one he’ll never get over. It took me long enough to accept it. But I do now, okay? I should’ve known from the very beginning everything was against us being together.” Nathan started to say something, but she shook her head again. “I can’t keep trying to force something that had impossible written all over it from the start. I should’ve never kept pushing.”
“How did you keep pushing?” Emi asked. “You left.”
“I had to,” Kelli said, feeling defensive again. “He made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me.”
Emi shook her head, reaching her hand out to touch Kelli’s arm. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way, Kelli. What I meant is this didn’t just keep happening because you were pushing—forcing it. It happened because it was meant to be.”
Emi and Olivia exchanged glances; then Olivia spoke. “He told us about it—all of it. Emi and I have been discussing it ever since. What are the odds that you’d end up going on a date with Nathan and because of that be reunited with Isaiah again?”
Kelli felt the lump in her throat growing again, remembering the revelation she’d had that mortifying day at his uncles’. It confirmed that what she’d been feeling for him after just one weekend hadn’t been a fluke.
“What are the odds that you’d be the one he was assigned to watch over a whole year after you two thought you’d seen the last of each other?” Emi added.
“He told us he never once stopped thinking of you that entire year,” Olivia said with a hopeful smile.
“He’d originally turned the assignment down,” AJ said, his expression not so harsh anymore. “I was there the morning his original assignment was cancelled. Hell, what are the odds I’d insist he take the job in New Mexico because he still didn’t want to?”
Nathan cleared his throat and they all turned to him. “I know my brother. He’d sacrifice anything for us. I’m sure it’s the only reason why he stayed away from you that whole year. Because he thought he might be hurting me.” He shook his head. “You and I both know that’s not the case, Kelli. And I take full responsibility for putting so much shit in Isaiah’s head. It’s why he’s been so paranoid.”
“I’m guilty of it too,” Emi said with a wince. “I just didn’t know the whole story, so I was being protective. It’s what we do in this family. And it’s why I really wish you’d consider giving my stubborn brother another chance. At least hear him out.”
AJ raised his hand with a half smirk. “I sure as hell haven’t held back saying what I thought of this whole thing. I still don’t know the whole story. All I know is I’ve never heard my brother sound so desperate. It’s why my ass came charging around that corner, in spite of all my misgivings about this.”
“Only reason I never said anything negative to Sai about this,” Olivia said, “is because I didn’t even know what was going on until he told us. But let me tell you something, Kelli. When he told us about how he met you . . . That first impression you made on him before any of us met you is the one he’s held on to all this time. Regardless of everything that happened afterward, it was that first weekend you two spent together that he’s never gotten over. It’s clear that, now that he’s spent even more time with you, he won’t be getting over you any time soon—if ever. I hate to break it to you, but even if you don’t go back and hear him out now, you’re not getting rid of him so easily.”
To Kelli’s utter surprise, AJ chuckled. “Shit, he has me chasing after you, and I’m not even fully convinced—” Emi smacked his arm. “What?” He turned to Emi. “I’m just saying. You guys know the whole story. I don’t.” He brought his attention back to Kelli. “You may as well go back in there now because Olivia’s right. Just like all the other times, you haven’t seen the last of Sai.”
Kelli felt her lip quiver as she tried to smile. “And here I thought he was the one who couldn’t get rid of me.”
“So you’ll go back in there?” Olivia asked, her eyes going bright with excitement.
Kelli nodded. Within seconds, she had both his sisters’ arms hooked into hers, and they all started back to Isaiah’s room. She tried to focus on everything they filled her in on as they made their way back to his room. They told her how they feared, even before anyone knew anything, that Isaiah might’ve been in or around the area of the terrorist attacks. Valerie had called Moe, not wanting to alarm Isaiah’s immediate family, to inform him that Isaiah had left her office just forty minutes prior to the attacks and had been on his way downtown to the county offices. How inconsolable they’d all been when at first the doctors had told them to prepare for the worst.
It was almost a relief that she hadn’t known about it from the beginning. The way his sisters told it, they’d been through a horrifying ordeal. At least by the time Nathan told her about it, she knew Isaiah was going to be okay. But even hearing all this couldn’t take from the fear that maybe she was setting herself up again for heartache. Regardless of everything his brothers and sisters had just said to her, that phone call, the things Isaiah had said to her that fateful day, and the way he acted before she stormed out of his room earlier were still too telling of how easily—how quickly—he was to turn on her.
“Make sure he’s decent,” Emi said to AJ as they reached the door.
AJ knocked softly on the door before opening it and peeking in. He turned back to
Kelli and nodded. “We’ll give you your privacy,” Olivia said, squeezing Kelli’s arm.
“No.” Kelli shook her head. “I want you guys in there.”
As expected, they all appeared a bit perplexed. AJ may have been the only one who’d actually admitted it, but Kelli knew better. She’d seen it in Nathan’s eyes, and he’d been perfectly clear about how he still felt about her when he confronted her in New Mexico. It was obvious Isaiah’s family loved him and like him would sacrifice how they really felt about this if it meant it would make him happy. She knew they all must still have their misgivings about this. And like Isaiah, she was certain they were all still wondering about her date with Zach and that bottle of wine he’d ordered just before her and Nathan’s war of words. She needed them all to hear this—needed them all to know just how wrong they were to jump to the worst imaginable conclusion.
Arming herself with the strength she’d need to do this, she took a deep breath and walked through the door AJ held open for her.
“I’m sorry” was the first thing out of Isaiah’s mouth when she walked in.
As usual, just seeing him had her so full of emotion the sudden spark she’d picked up just before walking into the room was squashed. It took everything in her not to run to his bedside and fall all over him crying, but she stood her ground.
“I’m an idiot,” Isaiah said, speaking quickly and as desperately as AJ had mentioned, despite all his siblings being in the room too. “I could make excuses, blame it on the meds, say my heart’s been so shattered from the moment I woke and found out you’d left, that you hadn’t called even though there was no way you didn’t know, that Nathan saw you on a date with your boss, but you’re right. Bottom line is none of that should’ve mattered. After everything we’ve been through, I should’ve believed in us—known there had to be an explanation for all of it. You’re absolutely right to be angry, and I promise you I’ll work on it. I swear to God I will. But you have to know, Kel, I love you. I need you. There’s no way I’m letting you go. I may not be able to go after you now, but—”