Read Hold Me Now Page 13


  “So, what is it?” Russ snatches the ball from me and dunks it. “You call me here just to watch me kick your ass in basketball? He dances around me with the ball and repeats his efforts. “He shoots, he scores!”

  I take the ball back and dribble it. “You know what this is about. Tomorrow night she’s giving me my balls on a platter, and she gets Danny.” I shoot and miss. Don’t care either.

  “Your balls on a platter?” he repeats as if he didn’t hear right. “Dude, she’s gifting you a girlfriend. And, by the way, it’s apparent nobody’s told you this, so let me fill you in. It doesn’t work that way. People don’t let other people decide who they’re going to be with. It’s a personal matter. There’s no way you like those girls equally.”

  He’s right. I just don’t want to deal with the fallout right now. “They expect an answer. And I don’t want to go back to who I was. It sucked. It was empty. I was empty. I’m ready for something more. I want what you have, what Joel has. You guys seem pretty happy.” I hop up and dunk the ball—nothing but net, and even that feels like a hollow victory. “I’m going to miss her, though.”

  “Miss who?” Russ looks pissed as if he has a right to be.

  “Jennifer. You know, we were hanging out. Just friends, but still it was kind of nice.” A lump the size of that basketball settles in my throat. What the hell? Why the sudden urge to cry like a pussy? “She’ll be around.” My voice cracks. “For Jilly.” Not for me—never again for me.

  Russ comes over and slaps his hand over my shoulder. “Look, I’m going to take off, dude. I think you just figured things out.”

  “What did I figure out?” I call after him as he treks down the driveway. “Wait! Tell me what I figured out!” I roar, and this time it’s me who’s pissed.

  “Who you want to be with all the time. Who you want to spend every waking second with—the girl who’s on your mind from eyelids open until you fall asleep—who you can’t live without. You’re a smart guy, Jess. You’ll figure out what to do next.”

  I know the answer to all of those questions, but the girl who fits the bill isn’t up for grabs.

  Russell is wrong.

  I don’t know what the hell to do next.

  * * *

  Friday night comes swift as the Grim Reaper, and I take my time getting into my jeans, a dress shirt, and a sweater. It feels like I’m getting dressed for my funeral rather than a dance. Jilly hops around my room while I comb my hair and get my shoes on. She’s all amped up as if she were the one going to the dance.

  “What’s got you on the edge of your seat?” I lean into the mirror, and my father’s face stares back at me. I can’t tell whether this version of him is happy for me or disappointed. I sneer at myself because both my reflection and I know that he’d rather drive a stake through his heart than watch me give mine away.

  “Tonight’s the night, big guy!” Jilly sings as if it were my wedding day. “Isn’t it just killing you? Don’t you want to know which girl you’re going to hold in your arms at the end of the night? Which girl you’re going to smooch with until your lips fall off?” She turns around and rides her hands up and down her back until it actually looks like she’s making out with someone.

  “Don’t do that. It’s weirding me out.” I lean back on my desk a moment and observe her like this, young and innocent, and yet, way too cynical for her tender age. “You have your things ready to go?” She’s headed up the street to a slumber party tonight. I don’t know what I would have done if she didn’t have anyplace to go. I wouldn’t have the heart to leave her alone on Valentine’s Day no less.

  “My stuff’s by the door.” She settles, folding her arms across her chest while examining me with a newfound disdain. “It’s like you don’t even care who Jennifer and I picked out for you. Aren’t you the least bit curious?”

  “No,” I grumble, grabbing my jacket and leading us downstairs. “I’m sure whoever it is you’ve made the right decision.”

  “Oh, we did.” She gets a sly look in her eye as she scoops up her things.

  For a moment, I think they picked Jennifer, only she wasn’t in the running.

  “Do you like this person?” I ask as we head out into the cool February night, and I unlock the ’Vette with a click of the remote. Usually, I’d take the IROC, but it’s Valentine’s Day. Something about it warrants a more formal vehicle. Besides, I tucked Jennifer’s gift in the trunk an hour ago. I don’t want Jilly to see it and get the wrong idea.

  “I can’t tell you if I like this person.” My sister wedges herself, and all of her stuffed animal belongings into the front seat and shuts the door.

  I hop in, and we drive less than a mile before I pull up to the curb where an entire tribe of girls listens to music blaring out on the front lawn. A couple of girls toss a can of Pepsi between them.

  “If anyone asks you to open a soda, just say no.” I lean over and drop a kiss to the top of her head.

  “Will do.” She gets out and tosses her things onto the lawn before dipping her head back into the car. “And if anyone asks you to open their legs, just say no.”

  “You’re sick!”

  She laughs hysterically before leaning back in. “Hope you like who we picked for you.” The joy drains out from her features a moment. “You know, you’re a smart guy, Jessie. You don’t have to go with our decision.” Her gaze lowers to the seat as moisture lines her lashes. “I just wish you’d look outside of the basketball hoop once in a while. Sometimes, the person you really belong with isn’t an easy choice. I’ll see you later.” She slams the door shut.

  Look outside of the basketball hoop. I shake my head at the idea.

  Sometimes, the things that are outside of the hoop simply aren’t yours to take.

  * * *

  The gym is pumping. Bodies are thumping on the dance floor as ZZ Tops’ “Sharp Dressed Man” vibrates throughout the cavernous room. I start in on a cocky strut, considering I did manage to score Glen Heights’ Best Dressed dude, class of 1986. A dull smile rides on my face. Jennifer happened to snag the same title for the girls, and a surge of adrenaline rips through me because I know the yearbook still needs to take our picture together. Something about being pictured with Jennifer, our effigies together forever between the pages of that scholastic tome makes me feel as if I’ve won something. A small victory, considering I’m losing her tonight no thanks to Danny-Popping-Cherries-in-His-Wet-Dreams Potter. I scan the area and find Joel Miller and Russell hanging out underneath the basketball hoop.

  “Look who’s here.” Russ slaps me five, and Joel does the same.

  “Dude, smile.” Joel socks me in the arm. “From what Mel tells me, tonight’s the night you’re going to get laid. That dry spell of yours is over.”

  “So, who do you think it’s going to be?” Russ looks smug as if maybe he knows.

  “No clue.” I peer out at the crowd apprehensively. The last thing I want is for Tess or Rachel to spot me. I’m not ready for this circus. “Is Jen here?” I do a meticulous scan of the crowd, looking for Mel, Heather, Jen, any combination of the aforementioned girls.

  “They’re on the dance floor.” Joel steps in. “Dude, I know what’s going on, and I know how you’re feeling.” He stares me down and nods as if I should admit to whatever it is he’s implying. “Did you bring your balls tonight? ’Cause you’re going to need ’em.”

  Before I can answer, sock him to be exact, a screaming wall of giggles attacks me from behind as Tess and Rachel drag me to the dance floor. Tess has her hair teased out so far she vaguely looks like someone who’s met up with the wrong end of the electrical socket. And Rachel looks every bit the vixen she is, a touch too much of everything on her face and shoulder pads that make me think twice before tackling her. Not that I plan on tackling her in any capacity. Joel is wrong. I’m pretty sure I’m not getting laid tonight. My head’s not in it—not the big one, and for sure not the little one. Then I see them. Jennifer and Danny. Jen looks every bit as beautiful a
nd sweet as I imagined she would, and then some. Her hair is swept up, cascading over her shoulder in a waterfall of dark crispy curls. And even from this distal proximity, her eyes glow a violent shade of turquoise. I wish it were me standing next to her, laughing with her the way Danny is. She looks over and does a double take before offering a little wave.

  “Dude!” Rachel plants a wet one right on my lips, smearing her greasy lips over my face, and I’m quick to wipe the red gunk off. “We are going to get so fucking wasted tonight!” She flashes open her purse between us, revealing a giant bottle of Peppermint Schnapps. Her hands plant themselves on my waist, and she moves me until it looks as if we’re dancing.

  Tess worms her way between us, grinding her hips to mine. Her eyes are heavily traced with black rings, and her lids encrusted with a metallic blue shadow that stretches clear to her forehead, making it look as if she has two blue Easter eggs sitting on her face.

  I glance back at Jennifer, and she pulls Danny in closer, resting her hand on his back, and my blood begins to boil.

  Rod Stewart’s “Some Guys Have All the Luck” comes on, and the crowd gets pumped as if this was our anthem.

  Tess comes in close. “Oh, honey, you’re the one getting lucky tonight.” She hops up and takes a hard nip out of my ear.

  “Crap.” I touch the side of my head and check for blood before glancing to see if Jennifer caught that unexpected love bite, but she’s too busy laughing it up with good old Danny Boy.

  Danny steps in closer to Jen, landing his knee on her leg. Hey, whoa, that’s my fucking move. I’m suddenly in the mood to score a basket, and I think I’m going to use his head to do it.

  “So, who’s it going to be, Jessie?” Rachel coils her limbs over mine like a snake, and the harder I try to shake her, the more it looks as if we’re dry humping on the dance floor.

  “Hey!” Tess pulls me closer as her lips stamp their imprint all over my cheeks.

  Shit. I laugh a little while trying to pluck the two of them off. Russell comes over and nods as if asking if I need help but doesn’t seem to want to give it. Heather and Melissa come up with their arms folded across their chests, pissed. I pry Rachel off and dance Tess on over their way before spinning her back into the crowd.

  “Well, lover boy”—Heather steps in close with that I’m-going-to-claw-your-eyes-out look on her face—“you ready to break some hearts tonight? I think it’s time you get this shit parade over with. I’m sick of watching you jerk around my best friend.”

  Melissa pulls her back and enlarges her eyes at Heather in an aggressive manner.

  “I’m not jerking anyone around.” I turn back to find Danny’s hand riding down Jennifer’s back, inching its way lower, lower. “In fact, I agree. It’s time to end the mystery and see who she picked.”

  I head over to Jennifer with the small crowd amassed around me. Much to my relief, Tess and Rachel are lost on the dance floor. I just need a minute with Jennifer, preferably alone. I want to tell her how beautiful she looks tonight. Scratch that. How fucking stunning she looks in that short miniskirt and matching pink heels. There’s something about her that no matter how scantily clad she is, she still manages to look sweet as sugar. God knows I’m dying for a taste.

  Dying for a taste? Where the hell did that come from?

  Joel looks to me as he nods to Danny.

  Danny’s hand inches lower on Jen’s waist, straight down to the curve of her ass, and all I see is red.

  “Hey.” I push him back a few good feet, and the crowd around us gasps in horror. “Watch where you put those polar bear mitts, dude. If you’d like to keep them attached to your body, keep them to yourself.”

  He bounces back and lands in my face, chest puffed out and looking for a fight. “Dude, back off.” He looks to Jennifer. “Call this shit. Fox here has blue balls making him insane.”

  The crowd breaks out into a roll of laughter, and I glance around at the dozens of faces suddenly fixed on us.

  Tess and Rachel scuttle over with Amanda Prescott and just about every other fake girl the school has to offer. I’ve been with most of them, kissed just about all. Maybe Danny is right. Maybe this is some dry season shit that’s got my head twisted up like a pretzel.

  “Okay, let’s have it.” I set my feet in a defiant stance. I’m the one who came up with this lousy idea. I might as well have the balls to see it through. I shoot Joel a look, and he shakes his head. Why do I get the feeling my balls are still headed in the wrong direction?

  The music comes to an end, and the familiar clicking rhythm of a slow song takes over the gym—“Hold Me Now” by the Thompson Twins. I cock my head to the side while getting lost in Jennifer Barkly’s eyes. I’m not sure what I expected this moment to be like. I certainly knew it was coming, but mostly I didn’t expect this dull ache in my chest that screams for the madness to stop once and for all.

  I don’t want Jennifer to call it. I don’t want to end anything, least of all what I have with her.

  “Okay.” She presses her lips white for a moment while looking from Tess to Rachel. The two of them both have an arm stretched to the sky, both doing a strange little tap dance that makes it look as if they have to go to the bathroom while shouting, Pick me! Pick me!

  “It’s going to have to wait,” I say it loud enough to cut over the music and step in close to Jennifer. “This is our song. I think maybe we’d better dance first.”

  Joel Miller gives a discreet thumbs up as I pull Jennifer deeper into the crowd.

  “You can’t have a song!” Danny riots over the music. “That’s for couples and shit!”

  “We have a song,” I say it quiet for Jennifer’s ears only as I wrap my arms around her beautiful, tiny body, and every cell I own exhales. This is the only thing I’ve wanted to do all night, wrap my arms around this perfect, beautiful girl, and now, we’re here— Jennifer and I swaying to the music, our bodies crushed at the hips because I can’t stand the thought of having to let go.

  “You look great tonight.” Her cheeks fill with color. “I like the pink tie under your sweater. You make a hot preppy.”

  A half-hearted laugh strums from me.

  “You look great,” I offer. “Hell, you look amazing.” My heart thumps so loud it ricochets through my skull like an eight ball.

  “So, you want to know who I picked?” She bites down on her lower lip, and I fight the urge to lean in and kiss her.

  I shake my head, unable to speak, unable to move my eyes from hers.

  “I know who I picked.” I lean in and close my eyes, my body thumping like a jungle drum.

  An arm plucks me off from behind, and I take a fist to the jaw and feel a pop.

  “Shit.” I touch my hand to my lip a moment and note a spray of blood over my skin. I glance up in time to catch another fist right in my eye. I land flat on my ass a moment, only to jump back up to find Danny Potter in a wrestler’s stance just hoping he can take me down. The gym breaks out into screams and whistles.

  Jennifer shouts my name from behind, and I do plan on answering her—on spending the rest of the night with her if she’ll let me, but, first, I need to kick a little ass.

  Chapter Five

  Lay Your Hands on Me

  Jennifer

  “Jessie!” I lunge in to grab him just as Danny’s elbow flexes back and whacks me on the cheek.

  “Jennifer!” Melissa dive-bombs over me while Heather jumps onto Danny’s back. Russell gets in there—so does Joel, and the music stops, the lights go up all the way as a swarm of faculty storms the dance floor.

  “Jennifer.” Jessie staggers to his feet, a dark welt forming under his eye and his bottom lip bloats unnaturally. He pulls me in and drops a kiss to the top of my head, and I freeze. It was a reflex, I tell myself. Jessie’s go-to response is kissing. I’m sure he’ll dole out a dozen before the night is through—Melissa and Heather will each get one. “Let me see it.” He gently lifts my chin and winces as he examines me. “You need ice.”

/>   Jessie wraps an arm around my waist and threads us toward the exit.

  “Wait!” a high-pitched wail screeches through the crowd as David Bowie’s “Young Americans” starts up overhead.

  I know that high-pitched screech—correction, those screeches, and my feet can’t move fast enough. Jessie and I hit the mouth of the exit just as Tess and Rachel tackle us.

  “Who’s it gonna be?” Tess grabs me by the shirt, her bubble gum breath raining over me while her eyes shoot fire like a demon. Jessie carefully extracts her claws from my sweater and pulls me in a little closer. Just leaning against his chest like this, feeling the weight of his breath over me makes everything about this night worth it. Is it wrong that I want to scramble home and jot this all down to read over and over again? Dear Katie, a fucking miracle happened…

  Melissa and Heather head over, along with Joel and Russell. I spot Danny jogging in the opposite direction, thankfully. I’d say I had enough drama for one night, but I have a feeling that fistfight was just an appetizer for what’s about to ensue.

  “Like there’s no way you’re leaving without settling this.” Rachel comes at me with her hand fisted like a ham, and I’m suddenly afraid for my teeth.

  Amanda Prescott jams herself between the two of them as if she’s about to instigate a throw-down of her own. God, she doesn’t want Jessie, too, does she? I give a nervous glance to Heather. She’s had her fair share of Amanda Prescott drama, so I’m hoping she’ll know how to handle her if need be.

  “Go ahead.” Heather nods over to me, curt and pissed. “Put these girls out of their misery, and tell them who wins the grand prize.” She glares at Jessie when she belts it out, and I cringe. I hate that my two best friends don’t think too highly of Jessie. I get it. They’re worried for me. Heck, at the moment, I’m worried for me, too.