CHAPTER II.
THE GRAND FEAST.
She gave them some tea without any bread, She whipp'd them all soundly, and sent them to bed.
Nursery Rhymes.
Lady Harriet Graham was an extremely thin, delicate, old lady, with avery pale face, and a sweet gentle voice, which the children delightedto hear, for it always spoke kindly to them, and sounded like music,after the loud, rough tones of Mrs. Crabtree. She wore her own greyhair, which had become almost as white as the widow's cap which coveredher head. The rest of her dress was generally black velvet, and sheusually sat in a comfortable arm-chair by the fire-side, watching hergrandchildren at play, with a large work-bag by her side, and aprodigious Bible open on the table before her. Lady Harriet often saidthat it made her young again to see the joyous gambols of Harry andLaura; and when unable any longer to bear their noise, she sometimeskept them quiet, by telling the most delightful stories about what hadhappened to herself when she was young.
Once upon a time, however, Lady Harriet suddenly became so very ill,that Dr. Bell said she must spend a few days in the country, for changeof air, and accordingly she determined on passing a quiet week atHoliday House with her relations, Lord and Lady Rockville. Meanwhile,Harry and Laura were to be left under the sole care of Mrs. Crabtree, soit might have been expected that they would both feel more frightenedfor her, now that she was reigning monarch of the house, than ever.Harry would obey those he loved, if they only held up a little finger;but all the terrors of Mrs. Crabtree, and her cat-o'-nine-tails, weregenerally forgotten soon after she left the room; therefore he thoughtlittle at first about the many threats she held out, if he behaved ill,but he listened most seriously when his dear sick grandmama told him, ina faint weak voice, on the day of her departure from home, how very wellhe ought to behave in her absence, as no one remained but the maids tokeep him in order, and that she hoped Mrs. Crabtree would write her aletter full of good news about his excellent conduct.
Harry felt as if he would gladly sit still without stirring, till hisgrandmama came back, if that could only please her; and there never wasany one more determined to be a good boy than he, at the moment whenLady Harriet's carriage came round to the door. Laura, Frank, and Harryhelped to carry all the pillows, boxes, books, and baskets which werenecessary for the journey, of which there seemed to be about fifty; thenthey arranged the cushions as comfortably as possible, and watched verysorrowfully when their grandmama, after kindly embracing them both, wascarefully supported by Major Graham and her maid Harrison, into thechariot. Uncle David gave each of the children a pretty picture-bookbefore taking leave, and said, as he was stepping into the carriage,"Now, children! I have only one piece of serious, important advice togive you all, so attend to me!--never crack nuts with your teeth!"
When the carriage had driven off, Mrs. Crabtree became so busy scoldingBetty, and storming at Jack the foot-boy, for not cleaning her shoeswell enough, that she left Harry and Laura standing in the passage, notknowing exactly what they ought to do first, and Frank, seeing themlooking rather melancholy and bewildered at the loss of their grandmama,stopped a moment as he passed on the way to school, and said in a verykind, affectionate voice,
"Now, Harry and Laura, listen both of you!--here is a grand opportunityto show everybody, that we can be trusted to ourselves, without gettinginto any scrapes, so that if grandmama is ever ill again, and obliged togo away, she need not feel so sad and anxious as she did to-day. I meanto become nine times more attentive to my lessons than usual thismorning, to show how trust-worthy we are, and if you are wise, praymarch straight up to the nursery yourselves. I have arranged a gown andcap of Mrs. Crabtree's on the large arm-chair, to look as like herselfas possible, that you may be reminded how soon she will come back, andyou must not behave like the mice when the cat is out. Good bye! Say thealphabet backward, and count your fingers for half-an-hour, but whenMrs. Crabtree appears again, pray do not jump out of the window forjoy."
Harry and Laura were proceeding directly towards the nursery, as Frankhad recommended, when unluckily they observed in passing thedrawing-room door, that it was wide open; so Harry peeped in, and theybegan idly wandering round the tables and cabinets. Not ten minuteselapsed before they both commenced racing about as if they were mad,perfectly screaming with joy, and laughing so loudly at their own funnytricks, that an old gentleman who lived next door, very nearly sent in amessage to ask what the joke was.
Presently Harry and Laura ran up and down stairs till the housemaid wasquite fatigued with running after them. They jumped upon the fine damasksofas in the drawing-room, stirred the fire till it was in a blaze, andrushed out on the balcony, upsetting one or two geraniums and a myrtle.They spilt Lady Harriet's perfumes over their handkerchiefs,--theylooked into all the beautiful books of pictures,--they tumbled many ofthe pretty Dresden china figures on the floor,--they wound up the littleFrench clock till it was broken,--they made the musical work-box playits tunes, and set the Chinese mandarins nodding, till they very nearlynodded their heads off. In short, so much mischief has seldom been donein so short a time, till at last Harry, perfectly worn out with laughingand running, threw himself into a large arm-chair, and Laura, with herringlets tumbling in frightful confusion over her face, and the beads ofher coral necklace rolling on the floor, tossed herself into a sofabeside him.
"Oh! what fun!" cried Harry, in an ecstacy of delight; "I wish Frank hadbeen here, and crowds of little boys and girls, to play with us all day!It would be a good joke, Laura, to write and ask all our little cousinsand companions to drink tea here to-morrow evening! Their mamas couldnever guess we had not leave from grandmama to invite everybody, so Idare say we might gather quite a large party! oh! how enchanting!"
Laura laughed heartily when she heard this proposal of Harry's, andwithout hesitating a moment about it, she joyously placed herself beforeLady Harriet's writing-table, and scribbled a multitude of little notes,in large text, to more than twenty young friends, all of whom had atother times been asked by Lady Harriet to spend the evening with her.
Laura felt very much puzzled to know what was usually said in a card ofinvitation, but after many consultations, she and Harry thought at last,that it was very nicely expressed, for they wrote these words upon alarge sheet of paper to each of their friends:--
Master Harry Graham and Miss Laura wish you to have the honour ofdrinking tea with us to-morrow, at six o'clock.
(Signed) Harry and Laura.
Laura afterwards singed a hole in her muslin frock, whilelighting one of the Vesta matches to seal these numerous notes; andHarry dropped some burning sealing-wax on his hand, in the hurry ofassisting her; but he thought that little accident no matter, and ranaway to see if the cards could be sent off immediately.
Now, there lived in the house a very old footman, called Andrew, whoremembered Harry and Laura since they were quite little babies; and heoften looked exceedingly sad and sorry when they suffered punishmentfrom Mrs. Crabtree. He was ready to do anything in the world when itpleased the children, and would have carried a message to the moon, ifthey had only shown him the way. Many odd jobs and private messages hehad already been employed in by Harry, who now called Andrew up stairs,entreating him to carry out all those absurd notes as fast as possible,and to deliver them immediately, as they were of the greatestconsequence. Upon hearing this, old Andrew lost not a moment, but threwon his hat, and instantly started off, looking like the twopennypostman, he carried such a prodigious parcel of invitations, while Harryand Laura stood at the drawing-room window, almost screaming with joywhen they saw him set out, and when they observed that, to oblige them,he actually ran along the street at a sort of trot, which was as fast ashe could possibly go. Presently, however, he certainly did stop for asingle minute, and Laura saw that it was in order to take a peep intoone of the notes, that he might ascertain what they were all about; butas he never carried any letters without doing so, she thought that quitenatural, and was
only very glad when he had finished, and rapidlypursued his way again.
Next morning, Mrs. Crabtree and Betty became very much surprised toobserve what a number of smart livery servants knocked at the streetdoor, and gave in cards, but their astonishment became still greater,when old Andrew brought up a whole parcel of them to Harry and Laura,who immediately broke the seals, and read the contents in a cornertogether.
"What are you about there, Master Graham?" cried Mrs. Crabtree, angrily,"how dare any body venture to touch your grandmama's letters?"
"They are not for grandmama!--they are all for us!--every one of them!"answered Harry, dancing about the room with joy, and waving the notesover his head. "Look at this direction! For Master and Miss Graham! puton your spectacles, and read it yourself, Mrs. Crabtree! What delightfulfun! the house will be as full as an egg!"
Mrs. Crabtree seemed completely puzzled what to think of all this, andlooked so much as if she did not know exactly what to be angry at, andso ready to be in a passion if possible, that Harry burst out alaughing, while he said, "Only think Mrs. Crabtree! here is every bodycoming to tea with us!--all my cousins, besides Peter Grey, RobertStewart, Charles Forrester, Adelaide Cunninghame, Diana Wentworth, JohnFordyce, Edmund Ashford, Frank Abercromby, Ned Russel, and Tom ----"
"The boy is distracted!" exclaimed Betty, staring with astonishment."What does all this mean, Master Harry?"
"And who gave you leave to invite company into your grandmama's house?"cried Mrs. Crabtree, snatching up all the notes, and angrily thrustingthem into the fire. "I never heard of such things in all my life before,Master Harry! but as sure as eggs is eggs, you shall repent of this, fornot one morsel of cake, or anything else shall you have to give any ofthe party; no! not so much as a crust of bread, or a thimbleful of tea!"
Harry and Laura had never thought of such a catastrophe as this before;they always saw a great table covered with every thing that could benamed for tea, whenever their little friends came to visit them, andwhether it rose out of the floor, or was brought by Aladdin's lamp, theynever considered it possible that the table would not be provided asusual on such occasions, so this terrible speech of Mrs. Crabtree'sfrightened them out of their wits. What was to be done! They both knewby experience that she always did whatever she threatened, or somethinga great deal worse, so they began by bursting into tears, and beggingMrs. Crabtree for this once to excuse them, and to give some cakes andtea to their little visitors, but they might as well have spoken to oneof the Chinese mandarins, for she only shook her head, with a positivelook, declaring over and over again that nothing should appear upon thetable except what was always brought up for their own supper--twobiscuits and two cups of milk.
"Therefore say no more about it!" added she, sternly. "I am your bestfriend, Master Harry, trying to teach you and Miss Laura your duty, sosave your breath to cool your porridge."
Poor Harry and Laura looked perfectly ill with fright and vexation whenthey thought of what was to happen next, while Mrs. Crabtree sat down toher knitting, grumbling to herself, and dropping her stitches everyminute with rage and irritation. Old Andrew felt exceedingly sorry afterhe heard what distress and difficulty Harry was in, and when the hourfor the party approached, he very good-naturedly spread out a largetable in the dining-room, where he put down as many cups, saucers,plates, and spoons as Laura chose to direct; but in spite of all histrouble, though it looked very grand, there was nothing whatever to eator drink, except the two dry biscuits, and the two miserable cups ofmilk, which seemed to become smaller every time that Harry looked atthem.
Presently the clock struck six, and Harry listened to the hour very muchas a prisoner would do in the condemned cell in Newgate, feeling thatthe dreaded time was at last arrived. Soon afterwards, several handsomecarriages drove up to the door filled with little Masters and Misses,who hurried joyfully into the house, talking and laughing all the way upstairs, being evidently quite happy at coming out to tea, while poorHarry and Laura almost wished the floor would open and swallow them up,so they shrunk into a distant corner of the room, quite ashamed to showtheir faces.
The young ladies were all dressed in their best frocks, with pinksashes, and pink shoes; while the little boys appeared in their holidayclothes, with their hair newly brushed, and their faces washed. Thewhole party had dined at two o'clock, so they were as hungry as hawks,looking eagerly round, whenever they entered, to see what was on thetea-table, and evidently surprised that nothing had yet been put down.Laura and Harry soon afterwards heard their visitors whispering to eachother about Norwich buns, rice cakes, spunge biscuits, and maccaroons;while Peter Grey was loud in praise of a party at George Lorraine's thenight before, where an immense plum-cake had been sugared over like asnow storm, and covered with crowds of beautiful amusing mottoes; not tomention a quantity of noisy crackers, that exploded like pistols;besides which, a glass of hot jelly had been handed to each little guestbefore he was sent home.
Every time the door opened, all eyes were anxiously turned round,expecting a grand feast to be brought in; but quite the contrary--it wasonly Andrew showing up more hungry visitors; while Harry felt sounspeakably wretched, that, if some kind fairy could only have turnedhim into a Norwich bun at the moment, he would gladly have consented tobe cut in pieces, that his ravenous guests might be satisfied.
Charles Forrester was a particularly good-natured boy, so Harry at lasttook courage and beckoned him into a remote corner of the room, where heconfessed, in whispers, the real state of affairs about tea, and howsadly distressed he and Laura felt, because they had nothing whatever togive among so many visitors, seeing that Mrs. Crabtree kept herdetermination of affording them no provisions.
"What is to be done!" said Charles, very anxiously, as he felt extremelysorry for his little friends. "If Mama had been at home, she wouldgladly have sent whatever you liked for tea, but unluckily she is diningout! I saw a loaf of bread lying on a table at home this evening, whichshe would make you quite welcome to! Shall I run home, as fast aspossible, to fetch it? That would, at any rate, be better than nothing!"
Poor Charles Forrester was very lame, therefore, while he talked ofrunning he could hardly walk, but Lady Forrester's house stood so near,that he soon reached home, when, snatching up the loaf, he hurried backtowards the street with his prize, quite delighted to see how large andsubstantial it looked. Scarcely had he reached the door, however, beforethe housekeeper ran hastily out, saying,
"Stop, Mr. Charles! stop! sure you are not running away with the loaffor my tea, and the parrot must have her supper too. What do you wantwith that there bread?"
"Never mind, Mrs. Comfit!" answered Charles, hastening on faster thanever, while he grasped the precious loaf more firmly in his hand, andlimped along at a prodigious rate, "Polly is getting too fat, so shewill be the better of fasting for this one day."
Mrs. Comfit, being enormously fat herself, became very angry at thisremark, so she seemed quite desperate to recover the loaf, and hurriedforward to overtake Charles, but the old housekeeper was so heavy andbreathless, while the young gentleman was so lame, that it seemed aneven chance which won the race. Harry stood at his own door, impatientlyhoping to receive the prize, and eagerly stretched out his arms toencourage his friend, while it was impossible to say which of therunners might arrive first. Harry had sometimes heard of a race betweentwo old women tied up in sacks, and he thought they could scarcely movewith more difficulty; but at the very moment when Charles had reachedthe door, he stumbled over a stone, and fell on the ground. Mrs. Comfitthen instantly rushed up, and seizing the loaf, she carried it off intriumph, leaving the two little friends ready to cry with vexation, andquite at a loss what plan to attempt next.
Mean time, a sad riot had arisen in the dining-room, where the boyscalled loudly for their tea; and the young ladies drew their chairs allround the table, to wait till it was ready. Still nothing appeared; soevery body wondered more and more how long they were to wait for all thenice cakes and sweetmeats which must, of co
urse, be coming; for thelonger they were delayed, the more was expected.
The last at a feast, and the first at a fray, was generally Peter Grey,who now lost patience, and seized one of the two biscuits, which he wasin the middle of greedily devouring, when Laura returned with Harry tothe dining-room, and observed what he had done.
"Peter Grey!" said she, holding up her head, and trying to look verydignified, "you are an exceedingly naughty boy, to help yourself! As apunishment for being so rude, you shall have nothing more to eat allthis evening."
"If I do not help myself, nobody else seems likely to give me anysupper! I appear to be the only person who is to taste anythingto-night," answered Peter, laughing, while the impudent boy took a cupof milk, and drank it off, saying, "Here's to your very good health,Miss Laura, and an excellent appetite to everybody!"
Upon hearing this absurd speech, all the other boys began laughing, andmade signs, as if they were eating their fingers off with hunger. ThenPeter called Lady Harriet's house "Famine Castle," and pretended hewould swallow the knives like an Indian juggler.
"We must learn to live upon air, and here are some spoons to eat itwith," said John Fordyce. "Harry! shall I help you to a mouthful ofmoonshine?"
"Peter! would you like a roasted fly?" asked Frank Abercromby, catchingone on the window. "I dare say it is excellent for hungry people,--or aslice of buttered wall?"
"Or a stewed spider?" asked Peter. "Shall we all be cannibals, and eatone another?"
"What is the use of all those forks, when there is nothing to stick uponthem?" asked George Maxwell, throwing them about on the floor. "Nobuns!--no fruit!--no cakes!--no nothing!"
"What are we to do with those tea-cups, when there is no tea?" criedFrank Abercromby, pulling the table-cloth till the whole affair fellprostrate on the floor. After this, these riotous boys tossed the platesup in the air, and caught them, becoming, at last, so outrageous, thatpoor old Andrew called them a "meal mob." Never was there so much brokenchina seen in a dining-room before! It all lay scattered on the floor,in countless fragments, looking as if there had been a bull in a chinashop, when suddenly Mrs. Crabtree herself opened the door and walked in,with an aspect of rage enough to petrify a milestone. Now old Andrew hadlong been trying all in his power to render the boys quiet andcontented. He had made them a speech,--he had chased the ring-leadersall round the room,--and he had thrown his stick at Peter, who seemedthe most riotous,--but all in vain; they became worse and worse,laughing into fits, and calling Andrew "the police-officer," and "thebailiff." It was a very different story, however, when Mrs. Crabtreeappeared, so flaming with fury, she might have blown up a powder-mill.
Nobody could help being afraid of her. Even Peter himself stoodstock-still, and seemed withering away to nothing, when she looked athim; and when she began to scold in her most furious manner, not a boyventured to look off the ground. A large pair of tawse then becamevisible in her hand, so every heart sunk with fright, and the riotousvisitors began to get behind each other, and to huddle out of sight asmuch as possible, whispering and pushing, and fighting, in a desperatescuffle to escape.
"What is all this!" cried she, at the full pitch of her voice, "hasbedlam broke loose! who smashed these cups? I'll break his head for him,let me tell you that! Master Peter! you should be hissed out of theworld for your misconduct; but I shall certainly whip you round the roomlike a whipping-top."
At this moment, Peter observed that the dining-room window, which wasonly about six feet from the ground, had been left wide open, soinstantly seizing the opportunity, he threw himself out with a singlebound, and ran laughing away. All the other boys immediately followedhis example, and disappeared by the same road; after which, Mrs.Crabtree leaned far out of the window, and scolded loudly, as long asthey remained in sight, till her face became red, and her voiceperfectly hoarse.
Meantime, the little misses sat soberly down before the empty table, andtalked in whispers to each other, waiting till their maids came to takethem home, after which they all hurried away as fast as possible, hardlywaiting to say "good bye," and intending to ask for some supper at home.
During that night, long after Harry and Laura had been scolded, whipped,and put to bed, they were each heard in different rooms, sobbing andcrying, as if their very hearts would break, while Mrs. Crabtreegrumbled and scolded to herself, saying she must do her duty, and makethem good children, though she were to flay them alive first.
When Lady Harriet returned home some days afterwards, she heard anaccount of Harry and Laura's misconduct from Mrs. Crabtree, and thewhole story was such a terrible case against them, that their poorgrandmama became perfectly astonished and shocked, while even uncleDavid was preparing to be very angry; but before the culprits appeared,Frank most kindly stepped forward, and begged that they might bepardoned for this once, adding all in his power to excuse Harry andLaura, by describing how very penitent they had become, and how veryseverely they had already been punished.
Frank then mentioned all that Harry had told him about the starvingparty, which he related with so much humour and drollery, that LadyHarriet could not help laughing; so then he saw that a victory had beengained, and ran to the nursery for the two little prisoners.
Uncle David shook his walking-stick at them, and made a terrible face,when they entered; but Harry jumped upon his knee with joy at seeing himagain, while Laura forgot all her distress, and rushed up to LadyHarriet, who folded her in her arms, and kissed her most affectionately.
Not a word was said that day about the tea-party, but next morning,Major Graham asked Harry, very gravely, "if he had read in thenewspapers the melancholy accounts about several of his littlecompanions, who were ill and confined to bed from having ate too much ata certain tea-party on Saturday last. Poor Peter Grey has been givenover, and Charles Forrester, it is feared, may not be able to eatanother loaf of bread for a fortnight!"
"Oh! uncle David! it makes me ill whenever I think of that party!" saidHarry, colouring perfectly scarlet; "that was the most miserable eveningof my life!"
"I must say it was not quite fair in Mrs. Crabtree to starve all thestrange little boys and girls, who came as visitors to my house, withoutknowing who had invited them," observed Lady Harriet. "Probably thoseunlucky children will never forget, as long as they live, that scantysupper in our dining-room."
And it turned out exactly as Lady Harriet had predicted; for though theywere all asked to tea, in proper time, the very next Saturday, whenMajor Graham showered torrents of sugar-plums on the table, while thechildren scrambled to pick them up, and the side-board almost broke downafterwards under the weight of buns, cakes, cheesecakes, biscuits,fruit, and preserves, which were heaped upon each other--yet, for yearsafterwards, Peter Grey, whenever he ate a particularly enormous dinner,always observed, that he must make up for having once been starved atHarry Graham's; and whenever any one of those little boys or girls againhappened to meet Harry or Laura, they were sure to laugh and say, "Whenare you going to give us another
"GRAND FEAST?"