When we finally left, Adam was reduced to a gasping, red faced, mess. He grovelled for us to stay, or for Billy to come with us. He broke away and ran back for a final desperate hug with a man who’d been his only friend for two months.
Then we set off to meet Desi, with me and Sami each holding one of Adam’s hands. I was sad for Adam and wondered how Billy would cope being alone again, but at the same time I felt a sense of hope. I’d found Adam and Sami was coming with us, so I had no reason to hang around. The walk back from the lake felt like the first part of the journey home.
19. CONFESSIONS
Desi gave Adam a piggyback on the tricky path back to camp. He filled us in on the latest developments in the war. Rebel Radio was claiming that our side was advancing rapidly towards us. We usually took the announcements with a pinch of salt, but Captain had sent men to spy and rob in all the local camps. Everyone came back with similar reports: the government bases were operating with a minimal number of soldiers. Truck loads of local troops had been sent to the front line to counter the rebel advance. It could mean only one thing: the government was desperate and the war really was going our way.
It was an hour past dark when we got into the main building. Everyone who hadn’t gone out on a mission sat around in a circle, listening to a man reading from a bible. Captain got off the floor and introduced us to the stranger. ‘This is Father Desmond,’ Captain said. The white haired priest reached over his audience and shook me and Sami’s hands. ‘This is the couple you’re marrying tomorrow morning,’ Captain explained. I did a bit of a double take. Captain certainly didn’t hang about getting organised. ‘Where did you come from?’ I asked. Father Desmond pointed at Joseph and Jesus. ‘These gentleman extracted me from army HQ. They blindfolded me, stuck me in the back of a truck
and here I am.’ Captain laughed, ‘And he hasn’t stopped scoffing our food or drinking our booze since he got here.
When you two are married, we’ll drop him back. It wouldn’t do to harm a priest.’ Father Desmond smiled, ‘I’m sure it’s God’s will that I was taken here to bring these two young people
together.’ He looked at me suspiciously, ‘Are you a catholic?’ I nodded. Mum had taken us to the local church a few times when I was little. She was sucking up to the priest so
I could get into catholic school. Now didn’t seem like the time to admit that I didn’t believe in God. ‘When did you last take confession?’ ‘A few months ago,’ I lied. ‘Perhaps I should take each of you inside the office and allow you to confess your sins.’ Sami went into Captain’s office with Father Desmond. Amo rustled up some food. Everyone started
asking Adam loads of questions. ‘Your turn Killer,’ Sami said, when she got out. Father Desmond had arranged Captain’s two chairs back to back. I sat down. ‘Go on,’ Father Desmond said.
‘Erm…’ It had been so long, I had to think what to say. ‘Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been three months… Actually, it’s been about six years, since
my last confession.’ ‘What sins have you committed?’ ‘All of them,’ I said. Father Desmond coughed, ‘Try and be a touch more specific.’ ‘I’ve killed fifteen people. I’ve had sex outside of marriage. I’ve stolen stuff. I’ve had unclean thoughts at least ten times a day. I’ve taken the Lord’s name in vain. I’ve disrespected my Mother and Father and I’m ninety-nine percent sure I don’t believe in God.’ ‘Quite a busy six years,’ the priest said. ‘Most of that was in the last two months.’ The priest thought for a few seconds before giving me my penance. ‘Say two Hail Marys and ask the Lord to set you a path out of the darkness.’ It seemed like I’d got off light. I once had to say six Hail Marys for robbing a calculator off some kid in
my class. ‘Is that it?’ I said, feeling like I’d been short changed. ‘I’ve definitely killed fifteen people. But that
doesn’t include when I’ve thrown grenades in trucks and stuff.’ ‘Pray,’ Father Desmond said. ‘You have confessed and the Lord forgives all worldly sins, but you are a young man and there is great remorse inside you. Your conscience will not be unburdened until you rediscover your faith in the Lord.’
. . .
Adam laid between me and Sami in the dark. I wanted to take my final chance to commit pre-marital sins with Sami, but we could hardly throw Adam out of the hut before he’d had a chance to get to know any of the others. ‘So, Adam,’ Sami said. ‘Has Jake had any girlfriends before me?’ ‘Not that I’ve seen,’ Adam said. ‘So far you’re the only one mad enough.’ ‘Tell me something Killer did,’ Sami said. ‘Preferably something embarrassing.’ ‘I do know one story,’ Adam said. I cringed. I knew exactly what story he was talking about. ‘You tell Sami that, Adam, you’re dead.’ ‘Now I’ve got to hear it,’ Sami laughed ‘And don’t worry about Jake. I’ll protect you from that wimp.’ ‘All the girls at school were inside the gym doing PE,’ Adam explained. ‘It was before I went to school, I only heard about it later. The boys were playing football outside and there are these metal grilles in the gym wall.’ I wrapped my hand over Adam’s mouth. He tried to carry on and his spit got all over my palm. ‘Shut up midget, or I’ll tell everyone about you wetting your pants in the Christmas play.’ Sami pulled my hand away. Adam enjoyed being the centre of attention. ‘All the boys started messing about,’ Adam said. ‘Shouting at the girls and sticking their penises through
the grille.’ Sami laughed, ‘How old was he?’ ‘Nine or ten,’ Adam said. ‘So what happened?’ Sami asked. ‘When Jake put his thingy through, one of the girls on the other side kicked it. He was bleeding
everywhere.’ ‘That’s a lie,’ I said. ‘I didn’t even need stitches. It bled a tiny bit and I had to go to hospital to get a
tetanus shot.’ ‘Dirty little pervert,’ Sami laughed. ‘Got any more embarrassing stuff on him?’ Adam giggled, ‘I’ll try and remember some.’ ‘So what do you think of Sami?’ I asked, trying to embarrass him. ‘She’s cool,’ Adam said. ‘I can’t wait ‘til Mum finds out.’ ‘We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,’ I said. ‘You could wear that leopard skin skirt Billy made
tomorrow and be our bridesmaid.’ Adam slapped my chest. ‘Get stuffed, Jake. And it’s not a dress, it’s a pair of shorts.’ ‘Looks like a dress to me,’ I said. ‘Don’t talk about Billy,’ Adam said. ‘It makes me sad… Anyway, I want to go to sleep. Adam closed his eyes and wriggled around, trying to get comfortable in the small gap between me and
Sami. ‘And don’t start snogging just because I’m asleep.’
. . .
I woke up early and walked down to the pool. I sat on a rock, listening to the water dropping and thinking how strange it was that in a few hours I’d be a married man; or at least a married boy.
I wanted to wash, but a whole nest of baby snakes had crashed into the pool. I wasn’t sure if the little ones were poisonous, but I didn’t want to chance it. Once in a while, a bird would swoop out of the trees and pluck one of the little snakes out of the water. One bird landed on a rock a couple of metres away from me. It perched patiently, until the tiny snake dangling out of it’s beak stopped wriggling and snapping its jaws. Once the snake was dead, the bird crunched it into two pieces, that dropped onto the rock. While the bird tipped back it’s head to swallow the first piece, an opportunist swooped down and gobbled the other half.
Amo and a couple of the others came to wash and cursed the snakes. Apparently the babies weren’t just as venomous as the grown ups, but they’d give a nasty nip. I watched until there were only a couple of snakes left. Of the rest, about a third had been eaten by birds. The remainder had thrashed their way into the current and been carried out of the pool and downstream. Adam came and sat beside me. ‘How you doing?’ I asked. ‘Not bad,’ Adam said. ‘Amo’s made some breakfast if you want some.’ ‘I don’t think I’ll hold it down,’ I said. ‘My stomach’s turning somersaults.’ ‘Are you scared?’ Adam asked. ‘Terrified.’ ‘What of?’
I shrugged, ‘Marriage is like the
biggest thing you ever do. Promising the rest of your life to another person. If you think about it, doing it at my age is absolutely bonkers.’ ‘She’s nice though,’ Adam said. ‘She was mucking about with me while I was getting dressed.’ ‘I’m scared shitless,’ I said. ‘But I love her. If you offered me a million pounds to call it all off, I
wouldn’t take it.’ Adam laughed, ‘What about two million?’ ‘I’d probably reconsider for two million.’ ‘There’s all stuff going on up there,’ Adam said. ‘Sami’s got a nice dress and they’re platting her hair. They’re cooking loads of food and Father Desmond is telling all the kids stories. Everyone wants to know where you are. Do you want to come back with me and see?’ I got off my rock. ‘Suppose I’d better go and spruce myself up. I can’t hide down here forever.
. . .
There’s nothing quite as boring as wedding photos, or a wedding video, but I wish I had one picture of the way Sami looked. Her hair wasn’t that long, but they put all beads and stuff in it. They’d made her a dress out of plain white cotton. It was a traditional African job, hanging off one shoulder and all wrapped around and gathered up somehow, so that it finished just below her knees. She only had boots, so she kept her feet bare, which I thought was really sexy. Captain gave me a brand new set of camouflage out of the lock up. Amo and Beck carried Captain’s desk outside into the sun. They made a cross out of two branches bound up with vine leaves, and stood it on the desk surrounded by thousands of yellow and white flower petals. It wasn’t exactly a Hello! magazine wedding, but it was pretty cool.
I can’t remember much about the ceremony. I glazed over, listening to my heart drumming and staring at the beads of sweat dribbling down Father Desmond’s bald patch. A couple of times, I felt myself swaying and I thought I was gonna pass out. I must have said my vows on autopilot, because I can’t remember doing any of them.
Once the ceremony was done, we stuck around and ate some food. Adam seemed happy enough. He started running around with Beck and a couple of little kids.
Me and Sami waited until it seemed polite before walking the kilometre to our spot on the edge of the old mine. We’d always just laid there watching the sun, but this time we started snogging and ended up screwing gently before our audience of waving flowers. It was the best feeling ever, the dress looked well sexy and she licked my ear and whispered that she never wanted anyone else. You could have offered me the whole planet and I wouldn’t have swapped it for rolling around with Sami on that little patch of hot earth.
A couple of days later, Adam couldn’t resist confessing that him, Beck and David followed us and watched the whole thing from behind some trees a few metres away.
20. CONTROL
‘It’s ambitious,’ Captain said. ‘But I agree with Casino and all the other leaders. This is the best chance our forces have had in six years of war.’
All the fighters were gathered outside the main hut. I’d been married about eight hours, but it was like nobody else even remembered.
‘Tonight, we’re beginning our most ambitious operation ever,’ Captain continued. ‘Most army command posts are down from ten or twelve men, to three or four. Headquarters is down from three hundred to less than sixty. With those sort of numbers, we can launch an all out attack. We’re going to set off before sundown and destroy two command posts. Three other rebel units will do the same in their areas. Afterwards, all rebel units will converge on headquarters. We reckon we’ll be evenly matched in terms of numbers, but we will have surprise on our sides. If this mission is a success, we’ll gain complete control over this region.’ ‘What’s to stop the government sending in reinforcements?’ Jesus asked. ‘The government has already sent everything it’s got spare to the front,’ Captain said. ‘I expect a few units have stayed back to police the capital, but that’s all. All we should have to do is hold this territory until the rebels advance this far. We’ll block every road and stop any government supplies getting through.’ ‘How long will we have to hold the area until the advance gets this far?’ Sami asked. ‘Always my daughter with the difficult questions,’ Captain said. Everyone laughed. Captain continued, ‘We don’t know exactly where our forces are and we don’t know how fast they’re advancing. All we can do is assume it won’t be long, based on the desperately small number of troops the government has left around here.’
Captain divided us into three groups. Two were attacking command posts. Me, Desi and Jesus were in the third. We had to sneak inside headquarters and soften it up before everyone else arrived a few hours later. It was the first time I’d been on a mission without Sami, but girls didn’t blend in around headquarters.
Adam was torn up. He seemed proud that I was a fighter, but he kept asking if I was likely to get hurt. He was also concerned about Sami, which made me happy because it showed they were getting along. When Adam saw Beck dressed up with his camouflage and gun, Adam was wildly impressed. The idea of a kid only four years older than him with a pocket full of grenades flipped his lid. Captain took me off to one side. ‘Young Adam seems like his head is pretty together.’ I nodded, ‘He’s a bright kid. You don’t want him to fight do you?’ No,’ Captain said. ‘He’s too little. But you reckon he could watch camp for a few hours? It would free up somebody else to go on the mission.’ I thought for a few seconds: no enemy had ever ventured up the path to camp and if they did, Adam
would be safer standing behind a gun than sleeping. ‘OK,’ I said. ‘I’ll show him the ropes.’ Adam was grinned his head off when I told him. ‘Does this mean I get my own gun?’ ‘You won’t be much use without one. I’ll show you how to use it so it doesn’t knock you off your feet.’ I found an AK47 with a short stock, then took Adam out to the little shelter at the top of the path and
showed him how to use the it. ‘Don’t ever fire unless it’s an emergency,’ I said. ‘The noise echoes and it could give our location away
to the army.’ Adam nodded. ‘Everyone in camp knows the password. If you don’t recognise someone coming up the path, hide in the bushes and shout, Password. If they shout back Captain, you know it’s OK. If they don’t shout back, or they say any other word, start shooting. ’ ‘Should I wake up the others?’ Adam asked. ‘No. As soon as you fire the gun, the noise will warn everyone.’ ‘I can’t believe I’ve got my own gun,’ Adam grinned. ‘Can I just fire one tiny shot to try it?’ ‘If you fire an unnecessary shot, or you fall asleep, Captain will whip you. Remember the scars you
asked about on Sami’s back?’ ‘Shit,’ Adam said, looking at the gun like he wished he’d never seen it. ‘What if it’s an accident?’ ‘You’ll be fine,’ I said. ‘It’s only for about three hours anyway.’
. . .
It was my first trip back to headquarters since my very first mission, when we robbed the store room and bluffed our way out of the front gate with a truck load of goodies. That time, I went out without even having fired my gun. Now I felt like an old hand. The grit in my mouth on the walk out didn’t bother me, I knew how to ration my water and I’d grown tough patches of skin in all the places where my pack used to rub. I still wasn’t as fit as a lot of the others, but when bullets start flying around, it’s your brain not your muscles that get you out of trouble.
The watch tower at army headquarters was unlit and unmanned, as usual. We crept in, using the hole Sami tore in the fence with my Dad’s knife. The fact it was still there after eight weeks showed how ineffective the government troops were, even when it came to arranging simple perimeter security that might stop us creeping in and killing them.
Once we were through the fence, I immediately got the sense that the camp had fallen on hard times. Last time there were over a hundred large tents. All that was left were dusty outlines and holes in the ground, as if the circus left town the night before. The troops that were left lived in three metal sheds, packed close together on the far side of the camp.
The trouble was, when there were hundreds of troops you could walk around and everyone would assume you
were someone new, or someone they hadn’t seen before. Now there were only sixty, we had to be more cautious. Jesus was in charge. He looked at me. ‘Jake, you take the trucks out of action. I’ll try and see if there’s anything in the stores that will help us out. Desi, I want you to try and find any heavy weapons they have and make sure they’re not in working order when the cavalry arrives. We’ll meet in ninety minutes by the hole in the fence.’
There were a couple of trucks parked in odd locations. I went to these first. Normally we slashed tyres to disable a vehicle without making a noise, but our chances of controlling the area depended on us capturing and using the vehicles. By letting the air out of tyres, we’d be able to pump them back up later on. The disadvantage was that I had to stand by each tyre for several minutes, pushing the point of my knife into the valve to let out the air.
I crouched by the first tyre and unscrewed the valve cap. The air made more noise than I’d expected. I had to stare down at the valve and concentrate on what I was doing. If someone came up behind, I wouldn’t see or hear them and there was no quick way to grab my gun from such an awkward position.
I did the a tyre on two odd trucks and a Nissan with a little flag on the front that belonged to the base commander, then I walked to the line of trucks parked near the store room. While I was working on the second truck out of six, a drunken voice roared from behind me. ‘What are you doing?’ I sprung up quickly. The huge soldier thumped his fist on the metal. He was close enough to grab my
gun if I tried to use it. ‘Who said you could touch my truck?’ he shouted. ‘The commander told me to check all the tyre pressures,’ I said, backing away. ‘Looks like you’re letting the air out to me,’ the soldier roared. ‘Who put you up to messing with my
truck? Was it that arsehole Nero?’ ‘That’s right,’ I lied. ‘He told me to do it.’ The soldier grabbed my jacket and slammed my back against the metal. Guns are great equalisers, but face to face I was no match for a grown man. As the soldiers boozy breath washed over me, I tried to think of a way to talk myself out of trouble. ‘Do you want to get Nero back?’ I gasped. ‘He always forces me do crap like this.’ The drunk loosened his grip a bit.