CHAPTER IV.
Petrus went up the mountain side with Hermas. The old man followed theyouth, who showed him the way, and as he raised his eyes from time totime, he glanced with admiration at his guide's broad shoulders andelastic limbs. The road grew broader when it reached a little mountainplateau, and from thence the two men walked on side by side, but forsome time without speaking till the senator asked: "How long now hasyour father lived up on the mountain?"
"Many years," answered Hermas. "But I do not know how many--and it isall one. No one enquires about time up here among us."
The senator stood still a moment and measured his companion with aglance.
"You have been with your father ever since he came?" he asked.
"He never lets me out of his sight;" replied Hermas. "I have been onlytwice into the oasis, even to go to the church."
"Then you have been to no school?"
"To what school should I go! My father has taught me to read the Gospelsand I could write, but I have nearly forgotten how. Of what use would itbe to me? We live like praying beasts."
Deep bitterness sounded in the last words, and Petrus could see intothe troubled spirit of his companion, overflowing as it was with wearydisgust, and he perceived how the active powers of youth revolted inaversion against the slothful waste of life, to which he was condemned.He was grieved for the boy, and he was not one of those who pass bythose in peril without helping them. Then he thought of his own sons,who had grown up in the exercise and fulfilment of serious duties, andhe owned to himself that the fine young fellow by his side was in noway their inferior, and needed nothing but to be guided aright. Hethoughtfully looked first at the youth and then on the ground, andmuttered unintelligible words into his grey beard as they walked on.Suddenly he drew himself up and nodded decisively; he would make anattempt to save Hermas, and faithful to his own nature, action trod onthe heels of resolve. Where the little level ended the road divided,one path continued to lead upwards, the other deviated to the valleyand ended at the quarries. Petrus was for taking the latter, but Hermascried out, "That is not the way to our cave; you must follow me."
"Follow thou me!" replied the senator, and the words were spoken with atone and expression, that left no doubt in the youth's mind as to theirdouble meaning. "The day is yet before us, and we will see what mylaborers are doing. Do you know the spot where they quarry the stone?"
"How should I not know it?" said Hermas, passing the senator to lead theway. "I know every path from our mountain to the oasis, and to the sea.A panther had its lair in the ravine behind your quarries."
"So we have learnt," said Petrus. "The thievish beasts have slaughteredtwo young camels, and the people can neither catch them in their toilsnor run them down with dogs."
"They will leave you in peace now," said the boy laughing. "I broughtdown the male from the rock up there with an arrow, and I found themother in a hollow with her young ones. I had a harder job with her;my knife is so bad, and the copper blade bent with the blow; I had tostrangle the gaudy devil with my hands, and she tore my shoulder and bitmy arm. Look! there are the scars. But thank God, my wounds heal quickerthan my father's. Paulus says, I am like an earth-worm; when it is cutin two the two halves say good-bye to each other, and crawl off soundand gay, one way, and the other another way. The young panthers wereso funny and helpless, I would not kill them, but I did them up inmy sheepskin, and brought them to my father. He laughed at the littlebeggars, and then a Nabataean took them to be sold at Clysma to amerchant from Rome. There and at Byzantium, there is a demand for allkinds of living beasts of prey. I got some money for them, and for theskins of the old ones, and kept it to pay for my journey, when I wentwith the others to Alexandria to ask the blessing of the new Patriarch."
"You went to the metropolis?" asked Petrus. "You saw the greatstructures, that secure the coast from the inroads of the sea, the tallPharos with the far-shining fire, the strong bridges, the churches, thepalaces and temples with their obelisks, pillars, and beautiful pavedcourts? Did it never enter your mind to think that it would be a proudthing to construct such buildings?"
Hermas shook his head. "Certainly I would rather live in an airy housewith colonnades than in our dingy cavern, but building would never be inmy way. What a long time it takes to put one stone on another! I am notpatient, and when I leave my father I will do something that shall winme fame. But there are the quarries--" Petrus did not let his companionfinish his sentence, but interrupted him with all the warmth of youth,exclaiming: "And do you mean to say that fame cannot be won by the artsof building? Look there at the blocks and flags, here at the pillars ofhard stone. These are all to be sent to Aila, and there my son Antonius,the elder of the two that you saw just now, is going to build a House ofGod, with strong walls and pillars, much larger and handsomer than ourchurch in the oasis, and that is his work too. He is not much older thanyou are, and already he is famous among the people far and wide. Outof those red blocks down there my younger son Polykarp will hew noblelions, which are destined to decorate the finest building in the capitalitself. When you and I, and all that are now living, shall have beenlong since forgotten, still it will be said these are the work of theMaster Polykarp, the son of Petrus, the Pharanite. What he can do iscertainly a thing peculiar to himself, no one who is not one of thechosen and gifted ones can say, 'I will learn to do that.' But you havea sound understanding, strong hands and open eyes, and who can tell whatelse there is hidden in you. If you could begin to learn soon, it wouldnot yet be too late to make a worthy master of you, but of course hewho would rise so high must not be afraid of work. Is your mind set uponfame? That is quite right, and I am very glad of it; but you must knowthat he who would gather that rare fruit must water it, as a nobleheathen once said, with the sweat of his brow. Without trouble and laborand struggles there can be no victory, and men rarely earn fame withoutfighting for victory."
The old man's vehemence was contagious; the lad's spirit was roused, andhe exclaimed warmly: "What do you say? that I am afraid of struggles andtrouble? I am ready to stake everything, even my life, only to win fame.But to measure stone, to batter defenceless blocks with a mallet andchisel, or to join the squares with accurate pains--that does not temptme. I should like to win the wreath in the Palaestra by flinging thestrongest to the ground, or surpass all others as a warrior in battle;my father was a soldier too, and he may talk as much as he will of'peace,' and nothing but 'peace,' all the same in his dreams he speaksof bloody strife and burning wounds. If you only cure him I will stay nolonger on this lonely mountain, even if I must steal away in secret. Forwhat did God give me these arms, if not to use them?"
Petrus made no answer to these words, which came is a stormy flood fromHermas' lips, but he stroked his grey beard, and thought to himself,"The young of the eagle does not catch flies. I shall never win overthis soldier's son to our peaceful handicraft, but he shall not remainon the mountain among these queer sluggards, for there he is beingruined, and yet he is not of a common sort."
When he had given a few orders to the overseer of his workmen, hefollowed the young man to see his suffering father.
It was now some hours since Hermas and Paulus had left the woundedanchorite, and he still lay alone in his cave. The sun, as it rosehigher and higher, blazed down upon the rocks, which began to radiatetheir heat, and the hermit's dwelling was suffocatingly hot. The pain ofthe poor man's wound increased, his fever was greater, and he was verythirsty. There stood the jug, which Paulus had given him, but it waslong since empty, and neither Paulus nor Hermas had come back. Helistened anxiously to the sounds in the distance, and fancied at firstthat he heard the Alexandrian's footstep, and then that he heard loudwords and suppressed groans coming from his cave. Stephanus tried tocall out, but he himself could hardly hear the feeble sound, which, withhis wounded breast and parched mouth, he succeeded in uttering. Thenhe fain would have prayed, but fearful mental anguish disturbed hisdevotion. All the horrors of desertion came upon him, and he who ha
dlived a life overflowing with action and enjoyment, with disenchantmentand satiety, who now in solitude carried on an incessant spiritualstruggle for the highest goal--this man felt himself as disconsolate andlonely as a bewildered child that has lost its mother.
He lay on his bed of pain softly crying, and when he observed bythe shadow of the rock that the sun had passed its noonday height,indignation and bitter feeling were added to pain, thirst and weariness.He doubled his fists and muttered words which sounded like soldier'soaths, and with them the name now of Paulus, now of his son. At lastanguish gained the upperhand of his anger, and it seemed to him, asthough he were living over again the most miserable hour of his life, anhour now long since past and gone.
He thought he was returning from a noisy banquet in the palace of theCaesars. His slaves had taken the garlands of roses and poplar leavesfrom his brow and breast, and robed him in his night-dress; now, with asilver lamp in his hand, he was approaching his bedroom, and he smiled,for his young wife was awaiting him, the mother of his Hermas. She wasfair and he loved her well, and he had brought home witty sayings torepeat to her from the table of the emperor. He, if any one, had a rightto smile. Now he was in the ante-room, in which two slave-women wereaccustomed to keep watch; he found only one, and she was sleepingand breathing deeply; he still smiled as he threw the light upon herface--how stupid she looked with her mouth open! An alabaster lamp sheda dim light in the bed-room, softly and still smiling he went up toGlycera's ivory couch, and held up his lamp, and stared at the empty andundisturbed bed--and the smile faded from his lips. The smile of thatevening came back to him no more through all the long years, for Glycerahad betrayed him, and left him--him and her child. All this had happenedtwenty years since, and to-day all that he had then felt had returned tohim, and he saw his wife's empty couch with his "mind's eye," as plainlyas he had then seen it, and he felt as lonely and as miserable as inthat night. But now a shadow appeared before the opening of the cave,and he breathed a deep sigh as he felt himself released from the hideousvision, for he had recognized Paulus, who came up and knelt down besidehim.
"Water, water!" Stephanus implored in a low voice, and Paulus, who wascut to the heart by the moaning of the old man, which he had not heardtill he entered the cave, seized the pitcher. He looked into it, and,finding it quite dry, he rushed down to the spring as if he were runningfor a wager, filled it to the brim and brought it to the lips of thesick man, who gulped the grateful drink down with deep draughts, and atlast exclaimed with a sigh of relief; "That is better; why were you solong away? I was so thirsty!" Paulus who had fallen again on his kneesby the old man, pressed his brow against the couch, and made no reply.Stephanus gazed in astonishment at his companion, but perceiving thathe was weeping passionately he asked no further questions. Perfectstillness reigned in the cave for about an hour; at last Paulus raisedhis face, and said, "Forgive me Stephanus. I forgot your necessityin prayer and scourging, in order to recover the peace of mind I hadtrifled away--no heathen would have done such a thing!" The sick manstroked his friend's arm affectionately; but Paulus murmured, "Egoism,miserable egoism guides and governs us. Which of us ever thinks of theneeds of others? And we--we who profess to walk in the way of the Lamb!"
He sighed deeply, and leaned his head on the sick man's breast, wholovingly stroked his rough hair, and it was thus that the senator foundhim, when he entered the cave with Hermas.
The idle way of life of the anchorites was wholly repulsive to his viewsof the task for men and for Christians, but he succored those whom hecould, and made no enquiries about the condition of the sufferer. Thepathetic union in which he found the two men touched his heart, and,turning to Paulus, he said kindly: "I can leave you in perfect comfort,for you seem to me to have a faithful nurse."
The Alexandrian reddened; he shook his head, and replied: "I? I thoughtof no one but myself, and left him to suffer and thirst in neglect, butnow I will not quit him--no, indeed, I will not, and by God's help andyours, he shall recover."
Petrus gave him a friendly nod, for he did not believe in theanchorite's self-accusation, though he did in his good-will; andbefore he left the cave, he desired Hermas to come to him early on thefollowing day to give him news of his father's state. He wished not onlyto cure Stephanus, but to continue his relations with the youth, who hadexcited his interest in the highest degree, and he had resolved to helphim to escape from the inactive life which was weighing upon him.
Paulus declined to share the simple supper that the father and son wereeating, but expressed his intention of remaining with the sick man. Hedesired Hermas to pass the night in his dwelling, as the scanty limitsof the cave left but narrow room for the lad.
A new life had this day dawned upon the young man; all the grievancesand desires which had filled his soul ever since his journey toAlexandria, crowding together in dull confusion, had taken form andcolor, and he knew now that he could not remain an anchorite, but musttry his over abundant strength in real life.
"My father," thought he, "was a warrior, and lived in a palace, beforehe retired into our dingy cave; Paulus was Menander, and to this day hasnot forgotten how to throw the discus; I am young, strong, and free-bornas they were, and Petrus says, I might have been a fine man. I willnot hew and chisel stones like his sons, but Caesar needs soldiers, andamong all the Amalekites, nay among the Romans in the oasis, I saw nonewith whom I might not match myself."
While thus he thought he stretched his limbs, and struck his hands onhis broad breast, and when he was asleep, he dreamed of the wrestlingschool, and of a purple robe that Paulus held out to him, of a wreathof poplar leaves that rested on his scented curls, and of the beautifulwoman who had met him on the stairs of the senator's house.