Page 23
Author: Rachel Bach
The moment I saw her, I knew it couldn’t really be Ren. First, she was alone, which the real Ren never was. Second, she wasn’t wearing the simple shirt, loose pants, and flats Caldswell dressed his daughter in. This Ren was barefoot, wearing the same side-tied white medical gown she’d worn in the snow on Io5, and her brown eyes were looking straight at me with an intensity I’d never seen on Ren’s face, not even when she was playing chess.
Don’t cry, her voice whispered in my mind.
“Wasn’t planning on it,” I said bitterly.
She raised a finger to her lips, tilting her head toward Caldswell’s door.
I got the point and dropped my voice to a whisper. “Why are you here? Your father’s already given me the speech about your noble war. ”
The girl who looked like Ren narrowed her eyes. Brian is not my father.
I winced. I hadn’t known a whisper could be so full of hate. “Okay,” I said more slowly. “Who are you?”
The girl smiled at my question, a too-wide grin that was somehow more upsetting than her hateful glare. You’ve already guessed who I am, Deviana.
That cold creeping feeling that had been crawling through my stomach for so long it was starting to feel normal suddenly got even stronger. I glanced at Caldswell’s door, but it was still closed, and it wasn’t like I had anything left to lose at this point if he caught me talking to things that weren’t actually there. “You’re the one who makes the daughters,” I said. “You’re Maat. ”
The girl’s face fell. Maat doesn’t make her daughters, she said. They’re made from Maat. I don’t want their lives, their pain. She covered her mouth with her fingers, eyes suddenly wide, vacant, and terrified. Don’t want. Don’t want.
I pushed myself even farther back into the couch. It was unnerving to see so many emotions pass over Ren’s usually blank face. But then, from what I’d gathered, Caldswell’s daughter was some kind of copy. Maat was the original, and while I’d always suspected Ren was crazy, I knew for certain that the girl in front of me was several shots shy of a full clip.
“Why are you here?” I asked. “How are you here? What do you want from me?”
The girl blinked like she’d just remembered she wasn’t alone. Maat is wherever her daughters are, she said. But that’s not important now. Maat came to Deviana because I can see through you. Listen. Her hands shot out, grabbing my knees hard. Listen!
I had to bite my tongue to keep from crying out. Though I knew she couldn’t actually be here in the room with me, Maat’s hands certainly felt solid as they dug into my skin. It was just like the dream, vision, whatever I’d had on Io5, only worse, because now I knew it was real, and if Maat didn’t stop squeezing my knees, she was going to break something.
“I am listening,” I gasped, fighting against the weight on my feet as I tried in vain to pull my legs away from her hands. “You can see through me, okay? Now what the hell does that mean?”
Maat eased her grip but didn’t let go. Instead, she leaned down until our noses touched, her too-bright eyes fixed on mine like stickpins. I know what you are.
Her words doused my anger faster than a bucket of ice water. “What am I?”
Maat smiled and stepped back. I blinked at her sudden retreat, but when I looked up to see why she’d moved, my breath caught.
The room was full of phantoms. They hung behind Maat like a glowing mist made of tiny legs and transparent bodies. But though they seemed drawn to her like flies to honey, not a single one of them came within arm’s reach of me.
They told me, Maat said, reaching out her arm so the glowing bugs could crawl over her skin. They speak in little voices, but Maat hears. Maat has learned to listen, because it is Maat who keeps them prisoner.
My hopes faded with every word she spoke. I’d really believed she was just going to tell me what was going on, but Maat wasn’t even looking in my direction anymore. She was staring down her arm at the phantoms that had clustered on the palm of her hand, and the longer she looked, the angrier she got.
They will not leave me alone, she hissed, closing her fist around the crawling phantoms. I flinched, waiting for the flash of light, but it never came. Instead, the phantoms drifted through her hand unscathed, and Maat pulled her arms back to bury her face in her palms.
I tell them again and again that Maat cannot help them, she whispered. Maat cannot free them because Maat is also a prisoner. Maat was the first prisoner, and her daughters are slaves. Nothing sets me free, not even the madness. Not anymore. Maat can kill millions, but she can’t even die. She looked up at me in panic, biting her lip so hard I thought she’d bite it off. Why can’t I die?
I couldn’t begin to think of an answer to that. Fortunately, Maat didn’t seem to need one. She stepped forward, leaving the phantoms behind as she leaned over until she was right in my face again. The phantoms know you, she whispered as the mad smile crept back over her face. They tell Maat, Go and find her. She can set you free. So I did, and you can, can’t you? You can free us all.
I pushed back to get some distance. “I don’t know anything about—”
She leaned in again, taking over the space I’d just put between us. Maat will make you a trade, yes?
I blinked. “A trade?”
Maat nodded frantically. You are a prisoner, too. Right now you are safe because Brian does not know, but when he gives you to the others, they will find out the truth. They will find out what you are, and when that happens, they will make you like me.
I jerked back against the couch. I’d already braced for imprisonment and death, torture at the worst, but the idea of becoming like this madwoman in front of me turned my blood to snowmelt. My fear must have been plain in my eyes, because Maat’s smile went even wider.
Brian’s war is not so simple as he makes out, she continued. There are others, you’ve already seen them. I sent them to help you before, but you fought them. She scowled. That was very stupid of you, she scolded. This time you will not fight, though. Maat has friends who will help you escape. Whatever happens, though, you must not go with the Eyes. If you trust them even for an instant, they will make you a slave like Maat, and then no one will be free.
As she spoke, an image of a woman appeared in my head. She was strapped upright to some kind of padded wall, tied with so many restraints she almost looked mummified. But worst of all was her head. Her entire skull was enclosed in a thick metal helmet. There were no eye holes, no ventilation breaks, nowhere at all that light could creep through.
That was it, just an image, a flash, but it was enough to drive a spike of claustrophobic, horrified dread deep into my guts. That was Maat, my brain whispered. That was what was in store for me.
I began to shake uncontrollably. The only reason I didn’t break down was because I couldn’t. I had to avoid that future at any cost, which meant I had to act fast. So I sucked in a breath and got myself together, looking Maat square in the eyes. “What do I do?”
Maat will help you, she said eagerly. I can get you away from here, but you must promise to find Maat and free her in return.
I’d already opened my mouth to say yes, but I stopped just before the word came out. Terrified or not, that was a high price. I didn’t even know where Maat, the real, physical Maat, was, but it was sure to be one of the most secret and high-security facilities in the universe. How could I possibly get into a place like that and set her free when I would be on the run myself?
Like she could read my thoughts—and for all I knew she could—Maat grabbed my face between her hands and yanked me forward. It has to be you, she snarled. Promise!
“Okay okay, I promise,” I said, wrenching my head out of her grasp. “Help me escape and I promise I’ll do everything I can to set you free. ”
It was a rash thing to swear, but I was past desperate. I could hear people walking around on the Fool’s upper deck above my head. For all I k
new, Caldswell’s retrieval team was already here. I didn’t even know if this crazy girl really could help me escape, but if she was going to do something, it had to be now.
But the moment I’d told her I’d help, Maat’s urgency seemed to drain out of her. The intensity in her eyes had faded to something distant, almost like she was dreaming while awake, and I felt a stab of fear, followed by a burst of anger. I’d already lost everything once today. If this crazy lady had gotten my hopes up just to space out on me when it mattered, I was going to explode.
“Maat!” I hissed, eyes flicking between her and Caldswell’s door. I could see him moving inside. We were running out of time. “Maat!”
She blinked at her name, and her eyes drifted back down to me. I gave her my most encouraging smile and lifted my bound hands, but she just tilted her head, her lips pressing together into a severe line. She will betray you, she muttered, staring through me rather than at me. But it matters not. She cannot help being what she is. It’s already done, isn’t it? I can wait a little longer. And when she succumbs at last, Maat will be free.
“I won’t betray you,” I said, leaning forward so fast I sent the phantoms hovering around Maat skittering to the other side of the room. “I swear it by the Sainted King. On my honor as a Paradoxian, I’ll do everything in my power to set you free, but if you don’t get me out of here soon, it’s gonna be a moot point. ”
My voice sounded so desperate I was almost embarrassed, but Maat didn’t seem to notice. She just looked over at the phantoms I’d sent running, head lolling on her shoulders. Free, free, free, her voice sang in my mind. If the rabbit wants to be free, it must run. She looked at me again like something had just occurred to her. Are you the rabbit, Deviana Morris?
“Sure,” I said, eying Caldswell’s cracked door. I was leaning over to try for a better look when Maat grabbed my jaw and wrenched my head back to her.
“Then run!” she screamed.
The command was still ringing in my ears when the shuttered window beside me exploded.
CHAPTER 7
The blast threw me off the couch.
I hit the floor hard, ears ringing and eyes blinded from the bright light that was now flooding the room. The explosion had blown the captain’s window clean off, landing shutters and all. Outside, the sunlight was white and harsh, but the air that blew into my face was cool and woodsy smelling. I blinked hard a few times, letting my eyes adjust until I could make out a line of shadows moving at the edge of the sunlight. Trees.
Something brushed against my wrists, and I heard the steel manacles pop open. The weight on my legs was already gone, the plasma melted into a puddle at my feet, leaving me free. Across the room, I could see Caldswell crawling out from under his blown-out door. Time to go.
I shot to my feet, pushing off the wreckage of the couch as I bolted out the newly made hole in the Fool’s side into a rocky clearing. Overhead, sunlight beat down from the yellow star riding high in the powder-blue sky, while in front of me wooded mountains stretched out in all directions like a leafy green sea. I was sure they stretched out behind me as well, but I was only looking one way, directly ahead toward the line of trees I’d spotted earlier.
I ran as hard as I could, bare feet pounding against the sun-warmed stone. Rashid would be on the roof already. Once he recovered from the surprise of the blast, the shot would come from behind, in my back. Getting to the tree cover was my only hope.
“Morris!”
Caldswell’s bellow was so furious I stumbled. I caught myself at once and kept running, legs pumping faster than ever. I didn’t dare look back, but I didn’t have to. I could hear the captain chasing me, his boots slamming against the stone at double my pace. He was right behind me now, so close I could feel the wind as his hand grabbed for my shoulder and missed. And then, just when I knew he was about to try again, Maat’s voice whispered in my head.