"I know that. Doesn't mean I'm ready to settle down yet. Or that I'll ever be ready to take that chance." He turned and looked out over the valley. "It's a tough life out here. It's a lot to ask of a woman who isn't born into it, who doesn't have a natural love of the land."
She walked over to stand next to him. "You want someone to love this as much as you do."
"Yes."
"Understandable. And I guess you haven't found that woman yet."
"I don't think that woman exists. No one will be able to understand what it's like to work the land as if you're part of it, to live and die according to the whims of nature and the cattle market." He glanced over at her. "Would you understand that? Could you feel a part of that?"
"Today? No. But a woman who loves you could learn to love the land and your work the same way you do."
He shook his head. "My father thought that when he married my mom. He was wrong, and it made him miserable."
Both his father's and his mother's choices had made Logan miserable, and the one thing Des understood was suffering the consequences of someone else's choices. She wrapped her hands around his arm, always surprised and excited by the strength she felt there.
"Logan, you can't damn yourself and your future because of your father's choices or your mother's sins. You have to allow yourself to fall in love, to find someone you care about and ask them to become a part of your life out here. It's an amazing life and one that's worth sharing. You have to start making your own choices instead of living with the consequences of someone else's."
"What would you know about that?"
She leaned against the truck. "I hated that my father was army, that whenever I'd get settled in one spot and make friends or get my bedroom decorated just perfectly, my dad would get new orders and we'd have to pull up stakes and move again. We were like nomads, and I never once in my life felt settled.
"My mom always accepted this, and of course she had married into the army, so she knew that was what life was going to be like. But I hated it, and I vowed that some day I'd have a permanent house in one location and lots of friends and I'd never move again."
Logan laughed. "And then you became an actress, and now you travel all over the country and the world. So what does that mean?"
Her lips lifted. "That life very rarely turns out like you expect it to. I had planned to get married, raise a bunch of kids, and settle in one place. I was never going to move them around like I was moved constantly when I was a kid. But that didn't happen for me. I told you the acting bug bit when I was in high school. I never in a million years thought I'd become a success. I did move out to Hollywood when I turned eighteen, figuring I'd give it a try for a year or two, just to see what would happen."
"And now you're a success and making money and you could buy a house anywhere you want to, yet you still live in a condo in L.A. Why?"
Wasn't that the million-dollar question? "Because I still don't feel . . . settled. I still feel like that nomad, like I haven't yet found that place I can call home yet."
"So you're saying you're not happy?"
"I am happy. I have the career I've always dreamed of and I love the travel, which isn't at all like all the moving around I did as a kid."
He crossed his arms and gave her a look. "Because you're the one calling the shots now?"
"I guess so. There's a lot to be said for being in charge of creating your own destiny, Logan."
"In other words, you're not going to marry some dude in the military."
She gave him a horrified look. "God, no. Any more than you're going to marry some citified chick who's going to give you three children, then abandon them."
His jaw went tight and she laid her hand on his arm. "Your dad didn't make a mistake, Logan, he just fell in love. But you learned from the mistakes your mother made. Give yourself some credit and know when the time comes, you'll choose the right woman, the one who'll love this land as much as you do, and who'll be here for your kids."
Logan looked at Des, this citified chick she was just talking about. He wondered if she realized how much she had just been describing herself. A worldly young woman whose life was just starting out, who still had dreams yet to fulfill.
A woman like her would never be satisfied with a life on a ranch.
Not that he was thinking of marrying her or anything. He could never see her as a ranch wife, could never imagine a Hollywood actress as a wife and mother, working the land side by side with him.
But he liked talking to her, and there weren't a lot of women he could open up to like he had with Des. She understood him, and after tonight, he understood her a lot better, too.
So after she was finished shooting her movie she'd go her way, and he'd go his.
And maybe, just maybe, he'd find that one woman who'd love his ranch and want to have his children and settle down on his ranch. Because he was thirty-four and it was getting damn time to start creating his future.
A future that didn't include a hot and sexy actress with black silky hair and ever-changing eye color. Because she'd be off creating her own happiness--somewhere else.
He didn't know how he felt about that.
"So, now it's dark and I didn't bring a flashlight. Care to give me a ride back?" she asked.
Pushing aside the unsettling thoughts tightening his insides, he said, "Sure. Climb on in."
He drove her to the set and parked in the lot, then got out.
"You don't have to walk me to my trailer, Logan. It's not that far from the lot here."
He came up beside her. "It's dark out, and yeah, I do have to walk you."
They passed a trailer where there was a lot of heavy laughter and loud music.
"Colt's trailer," she said. "Some of our friends are in from L.A. They'll be at the picnic tomorrow at the ranch, provided you don't mind."
"Don't mind at all. I'm surprised you're not there partying with them."
She looked straight ahead. "I wasn't in much of a partying mood tonight."
He cupped the back of her neck. "Because I made you angry."
"Partly. Some of it was on me."
He felt the tension in the muscles of her neck, and when she got to her trailer, he said, "Ask me to come in."
She turned to face him. "Logan, would you like to come in?"
He liked that there was no game-playing with Des. She wore her emotions--and her desire--right on the surface, never hiding anything from him. When she was mad, he knew it. When she wanted him--he knew that, too. "Yes."
She opened the door and he followed her inside, closing it and locking them in. Not that he'd know who had a key, but just in case her friends decided to come looking for her, he wanted them to know they weren't going to have access to her tonight. "No party for you tonight."
Her lips kicked into a sexy half smile. "I don't know about that. Party for two, maybe."
He drew her against him and swept his hand into her hair, pulling out her ponytail, letting the raven strands fall over her shoulders.
She palmed his chest. "Wait. I'm all sweaty from my run and need a shower."
"I've worked all day and I'm all sweaty, too. You don't need to smell like a spring shower for me to want you, Des. Unless you want me to head back to the ranch and take a quick shower."
She leaned into him and licked his neck. "I like you a little salty. And you smell like a man who works for a living."
He shuddered as she ran her tongue across his throat, then tugged at his T-shirt, lifting it out of his jeans.
He jerked the shirt up and over his head, tossing it to the floor.
"We could shower together," she suggested.
"I like the sound of that."
She took him by the hand and led him to her bathroom.
"It's not the biggest shower," she said as she turned on the water. "Which means it'll be a tight squeeze."
Logan sucked in a breath. "I can deal with things that are tight."
The corner of her mouth quirked up.
"Is that right? You'll have to show me." She grabbed a condom, brought the packet with her and stepped in.
It was an okay shower--not huge, but not a tiny box like he'd expected. It would do, and as long as he was in there with Des, he didn't care. He was content enough to watch her dip her head back and let the water run over her. And when she stepped out of the way, he did the same.
"Turn around," he said.
She did, and he grabbed the bottle of body wash, poured some into his hand, and lathered it up.
He liked having the freedom of touching her, of exploring her skin. He lifted her arms and watched as the soap trailed down in slow rivers. He drew her hair over her shoulder to expose her back, then massaged the soap in, using his thumbs to dig in where her muscles were taut with tension, rewarded with her moans of pleasure.
His cock tightened at the sounds she made. He turned her toward the water so she could rinse, then he came around to her front and lathered his hands.
She lifted her gaze to him and kept it trained on his face while he rubbed soap over the front of her shoulders, her collarbone, and over her breasts. Naturally, he lingered at her breasts, the soap slick as he cupped the globes in his hands.
Her chest rose and fell with her quickened breaths as he rubbed his thumbs over her pebbled nipples, then, dropped to his knees so he could wash her legs.
"I could get used to this," she said. "I like your hands on me."
"Rinse," he said.
She took a step back under the water, rinsing the soap off, then stepped forward. Logan slid his hands up her calves, water running over his hands as he snaked his fingers over the backs of her knees.
Des giggled, obviously ticklish there. He filed that information away for another time as he directed her legs apart, then raised himself up to put his mouth on her center.
She gasped when he touched her with his tongue to taste her. Here, she was hot, moist, and primed for him.
"Logan." Even with the rush of water in the shower, he heard the way she said his name. He always liked hearing his name fall from her lips, especially when she was tight with passion. Like now, when she arched against him, silently asking for more of what he was giving her.
He lashed his tongue against her soft flesh, holding tight to her buttocks as he laved her clit and took her over the edge, listening to her passionate moans as she bucked against him with her orgasm.
She was shaking as he stood. He took her mouth in a kiss that left him rock hard and hungering with a need to possess her.
"Now it's my turn to wash you." She grabbed the soap and lathered her hands. He loved how small her hands were, and he had no objection to the slide of her fingers over his skin, the way she dug her nails across his shoulders, then pressed her thumbs in, lightly massaging his muscles.
She washed his back, swirling her palms over his flesh as she moved ever lower. He let out a groan when she reached around, caressing his cock with her soapy hands, lingering there to stroke him.
"Now, rinse," she said.
He stepped into the water and rinsed off, then turned around.
When Des dropped to her knees, he held on to the side of the shower, water pouring down his back and over his shoulders. She took him in her hands and stroked him, teasing him as her lips hovered close and she tilted her head back to give him a look that burned him and made it hard for him to take a breath.
She took him between her lips and flicked her tongue over the soft head, and he let out a groan. His gaze fixed on her full lips, the way she pressed them over his cock and brought his shaft inside her sweet, hot mouth.
He had nothing to grab on to but the glass shower doors for support, and hoped like hell he didn't wrench the damn door clear off the track as Des took him deep and nearly shattered him right then.
She had a sweet tongue and a devilish mind because she held him and teased him and destroyed him with her mouth. And when he was near the brink, when he could feel everything within him ready to explode, he whispered her name.
"Des."
She held tight to him, refusing to yield even as he exploded. He shook with the force of his orgasm, his gaze never leaving her face as he watched her take what he gave until he had nothing left. It was the most intimate act, and it had left him weak and nearly brought him to his knees. He was blinded by the sheer force of the pleasure she'd given him, and nearly wrecked by it. He reached for her, pulling her up to kiss her, tunneling his fingers into her hair to hold tight to her, because he was so far out of balance right now he needed her as a lifeline.
And when he found that balance again, he pushed her under the water so he could wet her hair, then reached for her shampoo and washed her hair, enjoying rubbing his fingers into her scalp.
"Mmm, that feels good," she said. "I don't think I want you to stop. Do you think you could rub my head for about an hour?"
"I could rub a lot of parts of you for a very long time."
"God, Logan. The things you do to me."
He rinsed her hair, then she applied conditioner and rinsed that out. He washed his hair, then he turned off the water, which by now was getting cool. Not that he minded since his body was plenty heated up by their shower play.
Des opened the cabinet near the shower and handed him a towel. He dried off, watching Des as she towel-dried her hair, then ran a comb through it.
"That's enough," he said, taking her hand and pulling her into the bedroom.
He flung himself onto the bed, bringing Des down on top of him, already hungry for more of her.
"What? You're not exhausted from that bout in the shower?"
He cupped her butt. "Not even close."
She wriggled against him. "You have a lot of stamina, Logan."
He gave her a grin and rolled her under him. "You have no idea, Des."
Chapter 12
DES MET UP with Colt, Tony, and the others early in the day. Colt had made breakfast and given her a call so she could come over and join them. And as Logan had slipped out of bed in the middle of the night, telling her he had to be up before dawn to see to some things on the ranch, she was alone.
Unfortunately. But she understood he had work to do, so she'd kissed him good-bye and told him they'd be over sometime mid-morning to help out.
It was great to see Tony, Sarah, and Callie again.
"I heard you all partying last night."
"As much partying as we could do, given the location," Tony said. "But it's enough to just be here with Colt."
Colt put his arm around Tony as Des leaned back against the counter and surveyed them all while sipping her coffee.
Sarah and Callie were their closest friends in L.A. and also knew about Colt and Tony, often hanging out with them in groups. Sarah, a striking, tall brunette with a killer figure, was a makeup artist, and Callie, the cutest petite blond who wore her hair pixie short and had amazing piercings, was a hairstylist. And then there was Tony, drop-dead, movie-star gorgeous with black hair and deep dark brown eyes, such a beautiful contrast to Colt's blond surfer-boy looks. Tony really should have been in front of the camera, but made his living as a cinematographer. Having them all in the business meant they had a lot in common. And they all knew how treacherous the media and gossip sites were, so they held Tony and Colt's secret close.
"Were you in L.A.?" Des asked Tony.
He shook his head. "No. I just finished a shoot in London." He yawned. "This jet lag is killing me."
"You can sleep on the plane," Colt said. "Because I'm going to spend every minute with you that I can."
"No problem there. I've missed you."
Colt squeezed his hand. "Ditto."
"You two are disgustingly sweet together," Sarah said. "Why can't I find a guy as great as either one of you?"
"They're gay or taken," Callie said. "Or they all live somewhere other than L.A., because they sure as hell don't live where we do. And the awesome ones aren't in the movie business, because most of the men we deal with are pricks."
Des laughed. "Amen to that."
"Hey, we're men," Colt said.
"Yeah, and you're gay. And taken. So I've made my point," Callie said.
Tony laughed. "Sorry, honey. You and Sarah--and Des--are amazing women. Someday you'll find amazing men."
"Unlike James," Colt said with a wrinkle of his nose.
"Ugh. James was an ass," Callie said. "I can't believe he cheated on you, Des."
"And with Kristina Parker? Please." Sarah shook her head. "I can't believe any man would dip his pen in her inkwell."
Des snorted. "Well, he's getting what he deserves. She's a media-hounding shrew, and she'll drive him crazy. Honestly, I wasn't all that broken up over it."
Callie studied her. "You weren't, were you? Why is that?"
Des shrugged. "I guess I just wasn't that into him."
Sarah laughed. "His loss. I think you're amazing."
"So does the owner of the ranch here."
Des shot Colt a look. "Shut up, Colt."
"Ooh," Tony said. "Is there a hot romance brewing between you and a cowboy?"
"No." Des didn't want anyone to know what was going on between her and Logan. Besides, it was just sex. And she wanted to keep it quiet. Sarah and Callie would make a big deal about getting to know Logan.
"Come on, Des," Callie said. "Spill."
"Nothing to spill. He's been nice and accommodating to everyone on the crew. Actually, mostly it's his house manager, Martha. She's a motherly type. You're all going to love her. Plus, she's a big fan."
"And you're deflecting the topic away from the sexy rancher," Sarah said, eyeing her suspiciously. "Why is that?"
"She has the hots for him. And the feeling is mutual. It's very obvious," Colt said. "You'll all see it today."
Des wanted to throw her shoe at Colt. "It is not obvious. I told you, it's mainly Martha. And you all had better be on your best behavior around her. She's been very sweet to us."
"Best behavior today," Tony said. "We won't let you down."
"But we're going to be watching you, Des," Callie said, using two fingers to point toward her own eyes, then back at Des. "Watching you and the rancher."
LOGAN WAS GLAD he'd gotten up before dawn to get some work done this morning, because it was ten a.m. and already hellishly hot. It was going to be a long day, made even worse by all the people who would soon be piling in.
But this was one of Martha's favorite days, short of Christmas Day, and he'd make sure it was a fun day for her.