Uh Oh
The next morning as I rose from my bed-roll, it was not quite light as of yet, and could see that the moon a risen during the night and was now straight over my head. Once during my slumber, I’d thought that sounds were heard of sheep and the bugle call of a camel, but now that I stand here watching and listening, all is quiet. I didn’t need a fire on this morning, the air had a hint of raspy cool to it, but not to bring a chill, but I stoked what few red embers that remained back into a small but still welcomed friend. Some hour later, the sky had turned this beautiful red color, streaked with hints of yellows and greens, just as the sun crested the hills to my east. In my sailing days this was a sign of a storm to come, but in this area, very little rain ever fell, so I shrugged it off while sitting for those minutes until all the beauty faded into oblivion.
I’d been thinking, these last few days, that maybe my final journey would be in the direction of my home in Galilee. It’s been years since my presence was there, and a reunion with my wife and friends would be a welcomed relief, not saying that I regret this trip in any way, but I’m sure that being there would be pleasant.
I’d been up and about for some few hours, when the same sounds that rattled through the valley, or so I thought, during last night were heard again. Walking slightly north, topping a small crest of sand, I could now see a party of travelers encamped along a flat, at the bottom of the opposite hill, just as it transitioned from valley to steep hillside. It was no small group, having segregated animal on just about every side, a string of camels east, a small but healthy herd of goats half way down, and donkeys mixed with sheep on the western side. They must have been still sleeping, for only a trickle of activity could be seen, and this was probably because they traveled up into the tiny hours of the night.
An hour or so later, I walked back over the same dune for another look-see, and could then see much bustle within and about their camp, and at least a half dozen fires were observed by the smoke that was rising straight up. As I stood there watching, one of the older men saw my silhouette and motioned me to come and join them, which I did.
I sat around his fire as this man with soft features told of what they were doing, how the trip started, from where, and talked about family at the end of their destination. Often someone would come and introduce himself and have a friendly word to say, and it took only a short time before an offering of food was sat before me. We had a slight language barrier, but both of us could understand just a little of what the other said, at least we could communicate, if only in fragments.
This was a friendly group of folks, made up mostly of a few families, and all were related to some degree, and no harshness could be seen among any.
By this time, I’d decided to put off my journey towards home until daybreak the next day.
I asked a lot of questions, and they seemed to be relaxed in answering them. All were Jews, from the sect of Sadducees, and lived by the rigid standards of the law. Observing every custom by the letter for which it was made for, the washing of hands, the circular motion done with their hands, as if presenting the food they were about to eat, unto God; and the long and loud prayers that all seemed to be involved in.
He told me about a radical group, that in Antioch, called themselves christains, and to him, were seemingly taking over the world. I just listened. There was a great scurry of noise broadcast throughout, to hunt down and destroy each and every one of them, and many groups were organized to do just that. In fact, it took but a short time before hearing that a bounty had been set on the capture of each, and if it were an Apostle, it would be tripled.
Now I’m just sitting here listening, and I think that anyone could visualize what was going through my head. My first thought was trying to find a means of escape, my second was to present myself as someone else, but my third thought was to be honest, and thankful to be what God created me to be, and hide nothing, and then let God be in complete control.
We talked for an hour or so longer, for to get up and leave abruptly would not have sat well, and as I stood to stretch, began saying my good-byes, and taking a step toward my camp, a man stopped me, that was fluent in my same language.
“Now, I’ve told you much about our group, but you’ve said nothing about yourself. Sit again, and let’s talk more.”
My mind went back to those two scorpions, each trying to maintain his ‘thought-to-be’ territory, and then remembered the evasiveness that Paul talked to me about, then the dream on the roof of Cornelius’ house, and finally the thought that came after the complete denial of knowing Jesus Christ before His crucifixion. It was not the Jews that were my enemy, then, nor now, and that mishap was not to be spoiled thru me again, and my thought now was; what a privilege it is to be counted among those that love the Lord, and Him being the true son of God.
I turned back around, smiled and said it would be my pleasure to sit a while longer. By this time, this hour or so of our back and forth conversation, several others of the numbered men sat with us, and no one but me had a hint of what might take place in the next few minutes. All had smiles, and a relaxed demeanor, and I supposed understood me to be just another traveler.
“My name is Simeon, surnamed Peter, from the region of Galilee, a fisherman by trade, and my excursion in life has been long and at times hard, but worth every step and trial of it.”
“When I was a young man, and hadn’t been married long, my thoughts of worth began to bother me, and being raised a Jew, sought council with God after many days, if not months, of prayer. And after a hard nights labor of fishing, my brother, a friend and his brother, pulled close to the shore, and busied about my affairs, heard a voice from the nearby coastline, saying; “Simon, put down your nets and follow me.” And immediately, I did just that. And looking Him directly in His countenance asked; ‘and what shall we do Lord? And he said; change the world.” Looking at each, one-by-one, in the eye as I spoke, they listened.
Thus far, they seemed to relax further into their quiet and attentive mode, with smiles expressed, and interest in my words displayed, but not a word was spoken by them as they listened.
“I had never heard this voice before, a stranger to me, but knew Him from within, that this man was worthy of obeying.” I continued speaking, as each one of the men looked upon me with interest. “Not me only, but all four of us dropped that which we were doing and went to investigate this man of Authority. It rang within me, at the time, I think by the Spirit of God to put down my troubles, my worldly possessions, and turn loose of all, to be fed by this man of conviction.”
By this time, with unison, all four of these men leaned forward with brow together, and their chin pointed directly at me, but still saying nothing. There was no evidence of a change in their demeanor, but it was easy to tell that their interest was climaxed.
“It was not many days thereafter that I completely understood that this decision to follow Him, and to cease from my labors, was exactly what was ordered for me, on behalf of God. The days, months, and years to come, wonderful things were seen and heard by this man, and even if given a choice, would not have returned to the smelly and fruitless life that I was living. And with one exception, there was never regret; for the way I now see, and the way I now receive the separation from this world and the One sat before us, is in no manner, a life to go back too. I was then, and still am today, engaged in the Life He has given. I am swelling at the seams to carry that, which has been sat before me.”
I was, in no wise, trying to deceive them in any way, but purposely held back the name of Jesus to perplex them into maybe understanding the principles of my evaluation of Christ. But these were hardened by their religion, and probably like most, abided by their strict standard of obedience to the law.
“There was never a man that spoke, that spoke with t
he God given Authority that this man conveyed. He had no idle words to say.”
By this time their brow came completely together, their eyes wide open, and now in a half sitting, half kneeling position, as if to pounce upon something, but still refrained themselves. I think they understood what I was saying, but an element of doubt stayed them for the time-being.
“This man made the weak strong, the strong weak, and healed a diverse number of the halt to stand upright and walk. He penetrated into the marrow of man, and recreated him into the knowledge of the living God. His life was set apart for the inward health of all mankind, and of a Truth, sent by the same God that you and I claim to follow.”
“Who is this man that you speak of?” One completely rose to his feet and said. “What kind of man could do what you say he’s done, and not have been announced to the whole world?”
I began slowly to speak, as I didn’t want a single word to be misconceived. I now realized that for this purpose was I sent. “He hid from nobody, He spake openly, for those that had ears to hear, heard, but those that shut up their bowls heard nothing, nor will they now.”
At the reverberation of this; all four were on their feet, and even though they held back, were now in the attack mode. Faces were turning red, hands shaking as if in a readied position, their feet shuffling as if they could no longer maintain themselves, but still held back.
“Who is this man that you speak of, and in the name of God, who are you?” The tallest among the bunch asked.
“I told you before; my name is Simon, surnamed Peter by the Lord of Host, and at one time, many years ago, I denied Him completely, that is three times, but now, I’d rather live with Him, or die with Him than turn my back around even once. God had given Him the authority to forgive sin, and my entire life; at this point and time, I was missing the mark. I am that Apostle that many were told to capture, and I stand before you a humbled man wanting nothing else but to please Him that created me. I am now your servant, for if by serving you, I serve the Lord, you can now do to me as you see fit.”
The whole lot of them relaxed slightly as I spoke these latter words; but still, three of them approached to retain my body to their order, while one went to secure a thong of leather to tie me from behind. Even having been bound, I don’t ever remember being in so much peace, a release of sweetness overflowed throughout my entire being, and I freely went with them.
The days to come were anything but quiet, as meeting after meetings were held within eyeshot, but little could be heard. At first the interrogations were short and to the point, but as the days turned to weeks, the intensity of the examinations became louder and more brutal, but the peace remained within me. One of the men, the leader I presume, appeared more like a statue with his firm jaw tightly bound and twisted, his movements slow but precise, and said very little to me, but often whispered what I think was a command to the others, as we traveled by day to who knows where.
I had little idea of where I was being taken too, but the direction was noticed daily as a northwest course, the sun was warm, and so was my heart as we traveled some fifteen or so mile each day. The women seemed uninvolved with the actions of my capture, and ever-so-often a young recruit would pretend to examine the character of my being, only to find, at least to my discernment, a man of no threat.
There was no desecration in me towards them, only a Love that seldom ever developed in me before, except on rare occasion, poured from the real being of the Peter that was hidden for all these years. I didn’t really pity them, but maintained a hope that the illumination of Christ would show through, that they too would respond to Him, but none of this was ever realized. Their position was firm, and rigidity was upheld by the high standard that man had invented as law, and then placed in their religion. Those of that sect didn’t follow the teachings of God, but only proclaimed their righteousness outwardly with their stern set of rules and regulations. These men were no different, and would rather please those of their authority, and be seen, than that which God had sat in force, which I now understand to be Love.
The small tent that I was placed in was kept guarded by night; and by day, and as we traveled; many eyes were upon me while still bound, but a joy continued rising within me that could not be expressed by my limited vocabulary, but I can say that the seed growing in the heart of my heart, was an experience, that thru the years of my fumbling, was now achieved thru an unlikely situation; but welcomed. I was at peace. Some mechanism evidently was triggered in me that instantly placed in order much of what life was meant to be, or at least, to achieve. Many of the happenings of the past began falling into place, arranging themselves in a distinct pattern of my total reconciliation to the Lord, those failures of the days gone by, now seemed to work for good. I have stumbled often during the course of my life, especially in my youth, but even those were being rearranged to lift in my spirit a character that wasn’t known to exist, or at least I’d never realized it. This time, nothing of my personality was showing its face; only the works of the Spirit of Christ poured from the pores of this old man.
On occasion, a sympathetic observer would come by and want to uplift me to some degree, thinking the obvious peaceful disposition was of my integrity, and not knowing that it was the Christ that lived in me. Then at times, others would either pass to gawk or have some sly remark to say; but all-in-all, this was no lowly bunch of folks with bad character, but just a zealous group doing what they’ve been taught by their religious sect. I did not use the Love that swelled in me in any way, nor was it flaunted, so at every circumstance, I would have thought that Christ could be seen flowing thru me, but instead, the bondage of their prejudice held them from it.
This Love that I now felt and received was larger than man himself can conjure, for it was not me that Loved, but He that lived within, and it could no more be dammed up than one could dam the ocean. For the Love expressed itself from the essence of what it is, pure and unmovable. Jesus had told us on several occasions that the Love of God conquers everything, and holds no remorse, and in no way is haughty, and this Love in me was just that. Being filled with this entity was not something that I earned nor deserved, and when it was perceived, changed my life, even without me knowing the change happened. I now know that Love, Mercy, and Grace never needs to be propped up, for it is Life in the deepest of meanings, and sustains itself with no effort of man, and is truly the character of God.
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It was sometime later that I was taken to a rather large city, displayed in a cage before all, and several days later placed in a dungeon. The Peace and the Love for these folks never left me, and their understanding of what they were doing was never realized, they saw me as a threat, of which I was not, and therefore treated as a malefactor.
What a true privilege it was for being alive in Christ, and His Love for all. This Love, that now dwells in me, is conquering every fault and defect that it took those almost sixty years to build.