Chapter 14
Simon stood in front of the door to his flat, already preparing himself. He knew what Olivia was about to tell him, and he smiled knowing how happy she would be. He hated admitting it, but he felt a slight stab of jealousy. Simon wanted to find the same kind of love that she shared with Justin, and to be as unafraid of sharing that love as they were. But his heart was with Ian. He knew that now more than ever, after holding Ian in his arms earlier that night, seeing him break down in tears. Although it pained him to see Ian hurting, he felt privileged and special that Ian could reveal himself in such a vulnerable moment to him. Would it be that far-fetched to believe that they were getting closer? Simon sighed wistfully.
This was the man that Simon wanted to be with. Was it really an impossible dream? Was he fooling himself? He couldn’t help but remember how Ian mentioned Margeaux at that crucial moment. If Ian really was involved with her, Simon seriously questioned his judgment. Someone so arrogant and shameless couldn’t possibly be good enough for Ian. Simon hated playing the martyr, but if he couldn’t have Ian, then only somebody way more deserving would do!
Simon finally shook himself out of his self-indulgent thoughts. He opened the door and saw Olivia standing there, her smile rivalling the Capetonian sun. She shrieked loudly and waved her arms in the air, exuberant, and jumped into Simon’s arms. “It finally happened! Aaaaahhh! I knew it was coming. He’s been acting nervous for the past few weeks already. I think he might have even been planning on proposing on our boat trip, but I missed the signals and invited you along. But it was perfect! It was a perfect, perfect, perfect day!”
Olivia playfully hid her left hand behind her back, and slowly, dramatically, revealed her ring finger to Simon – a white gold band with an incredible diamond nestled in the middle.
“Ain’t she a beauty?” Oliva raved. “And diamonds are my birthstone, the month of April! Is this a cosmic conspiracy or what?”
Olivia showed Simon the ring on her finger, doing a happy dance around the room while waving her hands at him, smiling all the while. He had never seen her this happy.
“I’m so happy for you, Liv! I can’t even believe it! I mean, I can believe it! I don’t know what I’m saying, I’m just happy for you.” Simon grabbed Olivia by the waist, genuinely feeling happy for her, twirled her around, and caught her in his arms as she dipped, gracefully, her face the picture of bliss. Simon tried to push away thoughts of Zuko, his hopeless expression when they met for lunch, and of Ian, sobbing into his shoulder, the kiss Simon softly lay on his cheek, and just focused his attention on being there for Olivia. This was one of the most important days of her life.
“Wait, wait, wait, you have to tell me everything. How did he propose?”
Olivia told Simon about the perfect day that Justin had planned for her. He had taken her to a music show in the botanical gardens and afterwards they had a picnic together. Champagne and chocolate covered strawberries. They went for a walk through the gardens when the sun started to set, and Olivia finally arrived in a clearing where Justin had arranged fairy lights and a violinist played her favorite song. She started crying immediately then, she said, because she knew it was the moment. Justin got down on one knee, even though he was wearing his favorite jeans and the grass was wet. Olivia chuckled at this. And he said that he could never love anyone as much as he loved her. “He told me that I’m his dream, and if I marry him he can live his dream every day for the rest of his life.”
Simon was overwhelmed with emotion and hugged Olivia. “I’m so happy for you. You deserve all of the good things that Justin can offer you. He’s an amazing guy and you know that you’re my amazing girl, so I couldn’t be happier.”
“Well you know what this means,” Olivia said, with a mischievous smile. “You have to be my man of honor.”
They both laughed at this, and Simon said, “Of course! I wouldn’t have it any other way, babe!”
Despite his best efforts, Simon couldn’t fight off flashes of Ian, wondering if they could ever have as much happiness as Olivia and Justin were having. Olivia noticed then that Simon was not himself. “Listen, I know you’re happy for me, but something is up. What’s wrong?”
Simon took a glass from the table and poured himself some of the champagne which Olivia had put out. He realized that he had to tell Olivia, his best friend, about what was happening in his life. He didn’t want to ruin her perfect day, but he knew that she would know exactly what to say to him to offer him some guidance. What else are best friends for?
“I met with Zuko today. Some numbskulls at his res were really being jerks to him. It’s a long story, but Zuko has really been given a raw deal.”
Olivia gasped in shock. “Is he okay? Is he going to press charges?”
Simon explained how Zuko had signed a nondisclosure agreement and accepted money from Riley’s lawyer. Olivia was outraged. “We have to do something about this! They can’t get away with this!”
“Don’t worry, I’m writing a story about it. They won’t get away with any of it. Ian is helping me to get them.”
“Ian?” Olivia said, a sly smile crossing her face. “You’re working with him.”
“That’s the other part of my problem right now. I went to see Ian today. He’s not doing well. The injuries from his car crash were more extensive than he thought and he’ll be in recovery for a while. But that’s not all. We had a… moment… tonight.”
“A moment?” Olivia asked, her eyes drinking in the intrigue. “Did something happen?”
Simon felt an involuntary smile cross his lips at the memory. “I kissed him. Okay, to be fair, I just kissed his cheek. But I wanted to do so much more.” Simon blushed, and braced himself for Olivia’s reaction.
Olivia squealed and jumped off of the couch. “I can’t believe it! Simon Northbrook! You dirty, dirty boy!”
Simon was smiling even harder then, happy that he had a tiny bit of good news to share with Olivia too. But then he had to tell her the whole story, and why he was so confused.
“That’s not all though. He mentioned Margeaux again. I’m really starting to think that there’s more going on between them, that they might be getting serious. If he is into guys, I think he is still very much in denial. Liv sweet, I’m kind of lost on this one! My heart is calling out for this guy but I don’t want to make a fool of myself.”
“Simon, that’s your problem. You’re always playing it too safe, always waiting too long to make your move and then, before you know it, you missed the bus and you’re sitting on the bench in the rain. You need to tell Ian how you feel, right now! Don’t wait for permission. Besides, I don’t think Margeaux will really be a problem.”
“Why do you say that?” Simon pulled Olivia down next to him on the couch again, trying to contain her excitement.
“I saw her today, at the botanical gardens, getting very cozy with a guy. Girl was getting it on, and as a testament to her audacity, she even winked at me when I noticed them! Talk about shameless! If she is seeing Ian, she’s definitely cheating on him with this guy. Or maybe you were wrong and there’s nothing going on between them. Either way, I think your chances might be better than you think, sailor.”
Olivia winked and reached for Simon’s hand, but he pulled his hand away and snapped at her. He felt his temperature rising, and was instantly a different person: “I can’t believe you can be so casual about someone cheating on Ian. Don’t you think he could be hurt by all of this? Don’t you care about how he’ll feel if he finds out?” Simon got up from the couch. He didn’t know exactly why his feelings were changing so drastically and why he saw Olivia as being so callous in that moment, but he couldn’t contain his outburst. “You can’t take so much delight in her hurting him!”
Olivia looked confounded. She looked like she was ready to have an outburst of her own, but calmed her voice: “Look Simon… you really care about him. I can see that now more clearly than ever. But I’m not the enemy. I’m
trying to help you. You’re very defensive when it comes to Ian. I wasn’t laughing at his expense at all. I was just happy that you don’t have to worry about Margeaux. She’s not the kind of girl he needs. He doesn’t even need a girl. He needs you.”
For some reason, this wasn’t enough for Simon, and he couldn’t clear the anger which was fogging his mind. He should have been excited to hear that Margeaux wasn’t committed to Ian, but all he could feel was a frantic sense of confusion rising again. Olivia stood up and walked over to Simon. “Look, all I want is for you to be happy. I just want you to talk to Ian and tell him how you really feel. I think it will work out a lot better than you think.”
“How do you know that?” Simon’s voice was rising even more. To Simon’s mortification, his jealously at Olivia’s fairytale romance and engagement was consuming him, and he lashed out, his hurt and anger leading the way. “How exactly do you know that he will feel the same way? Not everyone is as lucky as you are, Liv. Not everyone can have such a perfect life. You’ve been trying to pressure me to do something I’m not ready for and frankly I’m sick of it. I think you should just let me live my life the way I want to. I can’t be this together guy that you imagine me to be. I’m not going to suddenly be able to confess how I feel about Ian. Don’t you see that?”
“Simon, I’m trying to help you, not pressure you. I’m trying to be there for you and, yeah, sometimes I think you need a kick in the butt when you don’t go after what you really want.”
“You look down on me. You make me feel like I’m letting you down, like I’m never good enough. How am I supposed to live up to your expectations of me?”
Simon stormed out of the door, slammed it behind him, and left Olivia in a state. She was hurt by Simon’s words. How could he think that she was being anything but a supportive friend? She called Justin and made plans with him to go away for a few days. She couldn’t be around Simon when he was acting like a spoiled child. She would give him some breathing space and let him process some of his own drama.
The worst part was that she considered that maybe he was right. She had planned to leave him alone with Ian in the flat that night, not consulting Simon about what he really wanted. She only wanted him to be happy. If he couldn’t see that, then he was being obstinate.
She packed a small bag and decided not to be in touch with Simon for a few days. They both needed to cool off, and besides, it was her time to be happy. Not to be worrying about her friend who never wanted to take his chance on love.
Chapter 15