I’m going to tear it apart and then burn it. If she wants this over, then it’ll be over. I can’t take it anymore.
She stood in the drawing room alone for a few moments as the certainty of his decision washed over her.
He was going to destroy the clock. Burn it. Break the spell.
It’s what she’d been telling herself she wanted since this began. The only thing tying her to Mystic Ridge and keeping her from a new, normal life was this strange and intense passion she felt for Jacob.
It’s not real, the familiar refrain sang in her head.
But the thought didn’t keep the panic from welling in her chest. In fact, it became a full-on wave of anxiety.
No. I can’t lose this feeling, she thought suddenly. I can’t lose him!
Still feeling dizzy from hitting her now-aching head, she started for the stairs, taking them two at a time until she got to the top. She rushed along the hallway to the familiar bedroom.
Jacob was in front of the clock, a sharp ax clutched in his right hand. He looked over his shoulder.
“Where’d you get the ax?” she asked tensely.
“I conjured it out of thin air. Or from my trunk where I keep the rest of my arsenal.”
“Oh.”
“I can take care of this myself,” he said. “You don’t have to be here.”
She exhaled shakily. “Don’t do it.”
“Excuse me?”
She closed the distance between them and grabbed the weapon out of his hand. “Don’t take the clock apart.”
He raised both his eyebrows. “Are you possessed?”
“Not the last time I checked, although I guess it’s possible.”
“Should I go get the holy water just to make sure?”
“Just listen to me for a second, would you?”
“Oh, believe me, I’m all ears.”
What is she doing? his thoughts echoed in her ears. She wanted this and now she’s stopping me? The woman is certifiable.
“You’re right, I did want this,” she said. “But now I don’t. I don’t want you to burn the clock.”
“If we don’t burn it we won’t be able to break the spell.”
“I know.”
His brow furrowed and he studied her intensely, a jumble of thoughts speeding through his head. “What the hell are you talking about?” he growled.
Her head ached. “I know it sounds crazy—”
“It does.”
“But…but I don’t want to lose this. What we have between us. I’ve never felt this way before. I guess it scared me. But even if it’s only made of magic, I don’t want it to go away.”
He stared at her for a few moments. “You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”
She nodded.
“You’d rather stay cursed than risk losing what we have?”
“I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. I didn’t know how much this means to me, how much you mean to me, until I realized it was going to be taken away.”
Kind of like how Catherine had been blasé about her and Nathan’s relationship until she faced the prospect of being exorcised and forced apart. That was what had done it for Amanda. Seeing that grief in Catherine’s eyes, that sense of impending loss, had made her realize how deep her feelings for Jacob were. She didn’t want to lose him, either.
It wasn’t just amazing sex. It was so much more than that.
His look was grim. “So that means you’ll still be able to read my mind and I can make you tell the truth.”
“That’s right.”
“That’s no damn way to live.”
“I can deal with it,” she said, with more certainty than she’d ever felt before.
His lips thinned. “Well, maybe I can’t.”
That answer, not previewed in his thoughts, cut into her. “No?”
He shook his head. “You said it yourself. This isn’t real, this is all just an illusion.” He leveled his gaze with hers. “Until you change your mind about that I don’t think we have anything else to discuss here.”
This is real, his thoughts told her. You’re just too wrapped up in having your life make perfect sense when life doesn’t make sense. It never has and it never will. And that’s what’s so great about it.
He closed the distance between them and kissed her hard. She groaned against his lips. It was insane, the way he made her feel. Even the briefest touch was enough to send her over the edge.
He reached down to slide his hands under her skirt. He cupped her panty-free bottom and pull her up against the hard bulge in his pants as their kiss deepened.
She knew she wanted him—there was no denying that he could turn her on as easily as a light switch—but something still bothered her.
Was it that he represented everything that was strange and unusual? Everything that her mother had always told her was wrong? The same things she was mercilessly teased about in school? Not even the teachers had intervened unless things got really bad and even then all they usually did was give her a tissue to wipe her tears.
Jacob embraced his psychic abilities. He didn’t find anything wrong with them. He didn’t find anything wrong with her.
The fault, obviously, lay with her. She was stubborn and messed-up and neurotic and she gave him a harder time than anyone else probably ever had in his life.
But he still thought he was in love with her.
Why would he love her?
She laughed then, against his lips, as something very important began to make sense to her. She wasn’t rejecting him by refusing to believe what she felt was real. She was rejecting herself. Because if she truly believed this was more than magic, she’d have to accept who and what she was once and for all. If she loved Jacob, despite his strangeness, she’d have to love herself, too.
But she’d never loved herself. There was always some fault, even above and beyond her abilities. That had just seemed the best area to focus her self-loathing on.
She pulled away from him and he let her go, his arms dropping slackly to his sides.
“I don’t know what else to do here, Amanda,” he said. “I give up.”
She looked at him, then. Really looked. He stood next to the clock that ticked away the minutes toward midnight—it was currently eleven-thirty. The clock that Rose Embry had enchanted a hundred years ago to help her niece find true love.
And suddenly, as Amanda looked at Jacob Caine, she saw the truth, as well. It made her gasp and tears welled in her eyes.
The very next moment, a bolt of lightning-hot pain went through Amanda’s brain and her knees buckled. Jacob caught her, his brows furrowed and drawn together.
“Did you feel that?” Amanda asked weakly.
“I swear, this spell is going to make my head explode.”
“Mine, too.”
“Pain’s gone. Are you okay?”
She nodded. She was okay but the concerned expression Jacob gave her was almost worth more agony. He’d probably felt exactly the same amount of pain as she had, but his first concern was with her well-being.
“What was that?” he asked. “More magic?”
“I think so.”
“You can let go of me now,” she said.
“Sorry.” He released her again. “What can I say? Hard to keep my hands to myself. I do wish right now that you were wearing panties. Or possibly a chastity belt of some kind.”
“I will be sending you a bill for new lingerie.”
His attention was focused on her lips. “Maybe…maybe I was hasty in my decision. I guess there’s no reason for us to chop up the clock tonight. We’re not on a deadline, are we?”
“No deadline,” she agreed. “Other than my moving three hundred miles away from town tomorrow.”
He frowned. “I keep forgetting that little fact.”
“That makes one of us.”
He gave her a small smile. “So what does this mean? How can we possibly make this mutually acceptable curse work for us? Weekend booty calls? I me
an, I’m not ruling those out, but I would like something a little more meaningful. Does that make me less of a macho guy to admit that?”
She smiled. He hadn’t figured it out yet, had he?
She closed her eyes and tried to listen in on his thoughts but there was only silence now.
The spell had been broken.
It had been broken the moment she realized the truth—she loved Jacob, and that love was real. The clock’s enchantment had helped draw back the layers of protection they’d had over their hearts and egos until they couldn’t resist what they both already knew down deep.
She’d never hated him. Not from the very first moment they met.
She’d hated how he’d made her feel with an ill-placed mention of her despised nickname, Amanda the Strange. But he hadn’t meant anything cruel by it. She’d stayed away from him as much as she could because the strong feelings she’d had for him from the very beginning—that love at first sight—had never faded. It had scared her so she’d buried it down deep.
Way deep.
No wonder his dating history had upset her. She’d been insanely jealous.
She loved him. This self-proclaimed, card-carrying psychic freak. And he loved her in return.
The clock knew it. The clock hadn’t taken a simple no for an answer.
Stupid enchanted clock.
She gave it an amused glare as she silently thanked a witch from a hundred years ago.
They would have remained “cursed” until the day Amanda admitted and accepted that her love for Jacob was the real thing. She honestly didn’t know if destroying the clock would have changed a damn thing.
The fact that the spell had been broken with only her thoughts made her realize that Jacob’s feelings for her were the real thing, as well.
“Amanda,” Jacob said, frowning. “You have the strangest look on your face. Are you absolutely sure you’re not possessed?”
She drew him to her and she kissed him again. Just a soft one, a brush of her lips against his. “Almost positive.”
“Maybe you have a concussion. You did bang your head really hard earlier. Actually, that would explain how you’re acting right now.”
“Shh.” She kissed him again, and though his body was tense, he didn’t resist.
At least, not for a while. Then he stepped back from her, his eyes haunted. “I don’t know what you want from me.”
She smiled. “I just want you.”
“I suppose that could easily be arranged.” He glanced at the bed and she followed his line of sight.
“An excellent idea, but I have something I need to take care of first,” she said.
“The ghosts?”
She nodded.
“Nathan really wants it to be over. Hell, maybe I’ll want it to be over in a hundred years.” He gave her a tense smile. “We’ll have to wait and see.”
She took his hand. “Come on. I need your help. Just follow my lead and play along, okay?”
“Okay.” He frowned. He had no idea what she was about to do.
The thought made it even more exciting for her.
16
JACOB COULD use a drink. A big one. Normally he knew what to expect from Amanda. Over the last four days he felt as if he’d gotten to know her very well. She was cold and analytical—kind of like a really hot Vulcan—but at the moment, she was acting so strangely and unpredictably.
She seemed oddly exuberant about the exorcism she was about to perform. It seemed like something one should do with respect or reverence for the spirits who were about to be drop-kicked into the next dimension. He didn’t know much about exorcisms, admittedly, but he did know they weren’t pleasant—for the exorcist or the exorcized.
Amanda seemed downright…jubilant.
He still couldn’t believe he’d agreed to leave the curse as it was. It wasn’t the best answer, but he’d honor her decision. For now. He was completely and totally convinced that what he felt wasn’t the result of a spell. But was he willing to test that theory at the risk of losing Amanda?
Not for a hundred years or so.
Although he would prefer not to become an angsty dead guy if he could help it.
“Catherine,” Amanda said sharply as they entered the drawing room. “Please show yourself to both of us.”
There was silence.
“Catherine,” Amanda said again. “I have the ability to make you appear if I have to. I don’t want to have to do that.”
Before Jacob’s eyes the outline of a woman appeared and it filled in to reveal an attractive blonde in old-fashioned clothes. So this was Catherine, huh? She was very cute. He could see why somebody like Nathan might be persuaded to go on a one-way trip to emo-town for her.
Still, he didn’t like that she’d pushed Amanda earlier. The spirit was just damn lucky that she hadn’t been more seriously hurt.
Catherine’s expression was severe. Severely pissed.
“Leave this house,” Catherine said evenly.
“I kind of like it here,” Amanda replied. Jacob raised an eyebrow at her oddly sassy tone. “I might stay for a bit longer.”
“All I ask is that you leave Nathan and me in peace.”
“Let me get this straight,” Amanda said. “Nathan was your butler.”
“That is correct.”
“And you had an affair with him when you were married. Because of the spell that your aunt put into the clock, you couldn’t keep your hands off his fabulous body.”
Catherine’s lips thinned. “We were intimately involved.”
“Believe me, I know you were. Did I mention the first time I was here I got a vision of you two intimately involved?” She patted the sofa. “Right here?”
Catherine’s eyes widened. “We were swept away by passion. It was impossible to resist.”
“I know.” Amanda glanced over at Jacob then. “Trust me. I know.”
He was confused. What the hell was she doing?
“But you weren’t really in love with him,” Amanda continued.
“Any strong emotions were caused by the enchantment,” Catherine said. “Although it’s true Nathan believes we transcended that.”
“But you don’t believe that.”
The spirit didn’t answer right away. “I don’t understand where these questions are leading.”
That makes two of us, Jacob pushed his thoughts at Amanda. This is seriously unnecessary. What are you doing?
She ignored him. Which was strange since he’d asked her a direct question she should have felt compelled to answer.
“You were very upset when you learned why I’d returned,” Amanda said pointedly. “You were beside yourself with grief at the thought of losing Nathan. That doesn’t seem the reaction of someone who isn’t truly in love.”
A trace of fear flickered in Catherine’s gaze.
Why are you taunting her? he thought. Just get this over with so we can leave. You’re making me feel sorry for her.
“My reaction was mostly due to not having seen him in some time since he’s been avoiding me,” she said. “I would want the chance to say a proper farewell.”
“Right.” Amanda paused. “Then I’m very sorry to inform you that Nathan has been exorcised. He’s gone. The last thing he said was that he loved you and he’d miss you.”
Catherine was so still Jacob thought she had turned into a transparent statue.
“He’s gone?” She said it so quietly it was barely audible.
“He said that you never loved him so it wouldn’t matter. He asked for it. He wanted to go.” Amanda turned to Jacob. “Isn’t that right?”
He frowned at her so hard it hurt. “Yeah…that’s right. Poor guy. He was ready to leave here so much he was practically begging for us to do it.”
Amanda gave him a small smile.
What the hell?
And then it dawned on him what she was doing. His eyes widened.
Do you honestly think this is going to work? he asked her silently.
Again she ignored his direct question. Weird.
Catherine continued to stand in place, her arms slack at her sides, her face contorted with grief. Silver streaks moved down her cheeks as she cried silently.
“No,” she whispered, shaking her head. “He can’t be gone. He can’t…I…we were supposed to be together. How will I ever be able to find him again?”
“What difference does it make?” Amanda asked. “You didn’t really love him. I’d think this would be a relief for you both. Finally you’re free.”
Rage finally flashed in Catherine’s ghostly eyes and Jacob curled his arm around Amanda’s waist to pull her back a few feet. He knew that an angry ghost could do some serious damage if it wanted to. A simple push was only a glimpse of the supernatural power that could be unleashed.
But the fury faded quickly until there was only sadness.
“It’s true,” Catherine said shakily. “I’ve denied it for all this time, but it must be true. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t feel like this.” She looked at Amanda. “My aunt was right, wasn’t she? She was right about everything. I loved him. I tried to deny it. I tried to push it away, but I couldn’t. And now he’s gone forever.”
“You loved him,” Amanda repeated. “Are you sure about that?”
“Yes.”
The very next moment, Catherine gasped loudly and a strange ripple of blinding white light spread over her ghostly form before disappearing. She looked at her hands. “What just happened?”
Nathan took form across the room. “What happened is that we’re free. Finally.”
Catherine stared at Nathan, covering her mouth with her hand in shock. “But…you’re gone. I…I don’t understand. She said she exorcised you.”
He moved closer to her. “She told you what you had to hear to finally make you admit the truth to yourself.”
“The truth.”
He nodded. “That you love me as much as I love you. I knew you did. All this time, I knew.” He reached out and stroked her cheek. “See? I can touch you again. The spell is finally broken.”
Catherine tentatively touched him, as well. “I can’t believe this.”
“It’s true.”
“I’m sorry it took me so long to see that. I was afraid.”
His grin widened. “Better late than never.”