She remembered the horror and pity on his face when he’d woken up to her sobbing and throwing up. And what he’d said…
Those words were imprinted in her brain, weighing on all the insecurities she’d felt her entire life.
I can’t be with a woman like you. You represent death to me. I feel sick just looking at you.
She shoved the memory aside, but not fast enough. Her throat grew tight, her stomach churning.
She locked the car and tucked her keys into her purse, bleakly wondering if Dan was right. Did she represent death?
“Wow, you look amazing!”
Mac glanced up to see Paula poke her head out of the general store. Swallowing the pain sticking in her throat, she pasted on a smile. “Thanks, Paula. Closing up soon?”
The other woman grinned. “Of course. I plan on dominating the shooting booth tonight.”
“Good luck.”
“Thanks, hon. You really look terrific.” Paula’s face darkened. “You’re not the only one, though. I just saw Will and his new flame walk by holding hands like a couple of randy teenagers.”
“I take it you heard about Holly?”
Paula frowned. “They were at the diner earlier. Everyone met her.”
“She seems like a nice girl,” Mac said noncommittally. “Pretty, too.”
“I guess,” Paula said in a grudging tone. “Not as pretty as you, though. Not by a long shot.”
She laughed. “Holly and I aren’t in competition. Will and I are just friends, remember?”
“I guess,” Paula said again. She paused. “He’s never brought a woman back here before.”
A lump of sadness lodged in the back of her throat. “No, he hasn’t.” Mac forced another smile. “I’m going to grab a bite. I’ll see you later, okay?”
“Sure thing.”
With a wave, Mac crossed the street and headed toward the parking lot of the bowling alley, where the carnival was in full swing. The lot was the only place large enough to accommodate such a big event, and it seemed like everyone in town had decided to make an appearance. All the rides boasted long lines, and children streaked by her, holding enormous stuffed animals and shoving pink handfuls of cotton candy into their mouths. Everyone looked like they were having a great time, but Mac only felt tense as she threaded her way through the crowd.
Paula said she’d seen Will and Holly head over here, but Mac wasn’t sure she was ready to face them again. It didn’t help that Holly was so beautiful. Why couldn’t Will have hooked up with someone who didn’t bring this funny twist of inferiority to Mac’s gut?
She inhaled the scent of fried food and sweet desserts, her gaze fixed on the Ferris wheel, a commanding shape that dominated the fairgrounds. As she walked toward it, the mob parted slightly and her breath hitched when she caught sight of Will standing near the iron gate circling the ride. He was alone.
Her pace quickened, along with her heartbeat. He turned his head at her approach as if he sensed her presence. His eyes smoldered when they rested on her outfit, the tight shirt, the sexy boots.
“Hey,” she said, reaching him.
“Hey,” he answered gruffly.
“Where’s Holly?”
“Restroom, and then she was going to make a phone call.” His gaze swept over her, causing tingles of heat to spread through her body. “You look incredible.”
“Thanks.” She awkwardly rested her palms on her sides, then glanced up at the lights twinkling on the Ferris wheel. “Have you gone up yet?”
“No.” A hint of a smile. “Want to take a ride?”
Her heart did a little flip. “Holly won’t mind?”
He smiled wryly. “She’s not the jealous type.”
“Oh. Okay then.”
They moved toward the line, but didn’t have to wait more than a few moments before the passengers from the last ride were let off. Neither of them spoke as they walked up to the gate. Will watched her slide into the car, then sank down next to her, his long legs fitting awkwardly in the small space. The attendant lowered the bar and then the car soared a few feet, pausing in mid air as the next passengers were let on.
Mac didn’t look at Will, sweeping her gaze over the carnival grounds and empty Main Street instead. They rose higher, and now she could see the entire town—charming houses, tidy lawns, and, in the distance, the acres of land and dusty two-lane highway that Will drove on each time he came here from San Diego. His visits had been the highlight of recent years. She always felt better when Will was around.
Pain pierced her heart. Oh God, how would she survive if he died?
“What are you thinking about?” he asked softly.
She finally turned and met his eyes, gorgeous dark eyes that could always see through her. “You. Me.” She changed the subject. “So, are you serious about Holly?”
Something indecipherable flickered on his face. “I could be,” he said with a shrug. “But it’s too soon to tell. It’s only been a week, after all.”
She swallowed. “You met her the day after you left here.”
He shifted his attention to the crowd below. “Yes.”
“Does this mean you’re—” she searched for the right word, “—over what happened between us?”
“Are you?”
“Yes,” she lied.
His jaw tensed. “Aren’t you tired of lying to yourself?”
“What am I lying about?”
“The way you feel about me.”
She released a tired breath. “What does it matter now? You’re dating someone else.”
A glimmer of triumph. “And that bothers you.”
“No,” she lied again.
Will shook his head in frustration. “I can’t do this anymore, Mac.”
Panic tugged on her gut. “Do what?”
“Keep coming back here, acting like we’re best friends.”
“We are best friends.”
“We should be more,” he snapped, anger staining his voice. “And if you can’t give that to me, then maybe it’s time I moved on with my life.”
She chewed on the inside of her lip. “With Holly?”
“Maybe.” He made an annoyed sound. “Or maybe not. Either way, I’m not putting myself through this shit anymore.”
Her panic intensified, knotting in her intestines and squeezing hard. “I knew this would happen if we slept together,” she whispered. “I knew you’d leave.”
“It would’ve happened regardless.” Pain creased his handsome features. “I’m not leaving because we had sex, and it’s not because I’m bitter that we won’t do it again. It’s just too hard, Mackenzie, wanting you this badly, knowing you want me too, and having to fight you every step of the way.”
The car started its descent, and anxiety rolled through her. Soon the ride would end, they’d get off, he’d find Holly, and then he’d walk out of her life. And his helicopter would crash in the jungle, and she’d lose him for good. Forever.
Unless she stopped him.
“Will,” she began.
He raked both hands through his dark hair. “Yeah?”
“I…”
I love you.
“I don’t want you to go.”
His mouth tightened. “Then give me a reason to stay.”
Desperation rippled up her spine. She opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. But no words came out. She couldn’t find her voice, couldn’t find the courage to tell him how she felt.
Her silence dragged on far too long. Each second ticked by painstakingly slow, and Will’s expression went from impatient to irritated to resigned.
The ride came to its conclusion. A lanky teenager stepped to the platform and lifted up the bar. Without a word, Will slid out of the car. Mac trailed after him, struggling to meet his powerful strides.
“Wait,” she said in frustration, latching onto his muscular arm. “I need to tell you something. Please, Will, wait.”
Her peripheral vision caught a flash of red, and she turne
d to see Holly standing by the exit gate, clad in a filmy red dress that swirled around her thighs.
“I’m tired of waiting,” Will replied flatly.
He shrugged her hand off him and marched to the exit. Holly frowned when she noticed his expression, which Mac imagined to be fierce and resentful, but the brunette didn’t have time to react—in an instant, Will pulled Holly into his arms and kissed her.
Mac’s heart promptly plummeted to the pit of her stomach.
CHAPTER SIX
Will wasn’t sure why he’d decided to kiss Holly. They’d agreed to some hand-holding and a few pecks on the cheek, but the anger coursing inside him like a volatile ocean current had spurred this impulsive decision. Screw Mac, and her excuses, her fear, her denial. She didn’t want to give him a reason to stay? Fine, then he’d show her exactly what she’d be missing. To hell with her.
His mouth closed over Holly’s, swallowing the shocked little sound she made. Carson would kill him, yes, but to hell with him too. Placing his hands on Holly’s ass, he pulled her toward him, thrust his tongue into her mouth, and kissed the living daylights out of her.
His cock grew hard and his pulse quickened, but he suspected it had more to do with the fact that Mackenzie was watching. He sensed her presence, felt her eyes on him, and he knew she was still by the gate, witnessing this kiss.
To his surprise, Holly responded to him by twining her arms around his neck and sinking into his body. Her small breasts pressed against his chest, and though it felt nice, it was nothing compared to the way Mackenzie’s full tits had felt on his bare chest.
Damn her.
He squeezed Holly’s ass, tangling his tongue with hers, wishing it could be this simple. Kiss another woman, love another woman.
But it wasn’t, and the hopeless realization that he could never get over Mackenzie Ward prompted him to end the kiss.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured against Holly’s lips before slowly drawing back.
She stared up at him with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. “It’s fine.” After a second of hesitation, she lifted her hand and touched his chin. “Are you okay?”
He practically choked on the word “No”.
Holly shot a discreet glance behind them, where he knew Mac was still watching. “Let’s go, then.”
Nodding, he took Holly’s hand and led her away, needing to get the hell out of this damn carnival. Away from Mackenzie and her goddamn excuses. He didn’t look back, not even once, and when they were far enough away, he stopped walking and shot Holly an apologetic look.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” he said.
A devilish glint filled her green eyes. “Nope. Carson is going to kill you, you know.”
Will suppressed a groan. Oh, he knew, all right. He’d be lucky if his friend didn’t skin him alive.
At least Holly seemed to take it well. She’d recovered from the spontaneous kiss, the flush gone from her cheeks and a wise look in her eyes. “You’re done, aren’t you?” she asked quietly.
“With Mac?” Pain stung his heart. “I think so.”
They began to walk again, making their way through the crowd of happy, smiling people. They reached the edge of the lot, and instead of heading over to his Jeep, he led Holly across the street. “I need a drink,” he muttered.
“Me too.” Holly fanned her face. “Don’t tell Carson I said this, but you’re a damn good kisser, Charleston.”
He managed a grin. “Thanks.”
She frowned. “I wish you’d given me a head’s up, though. I don’t kiss well under pressure.”
The grin turned into a laugh. “You did just fine.”
They reached the one and only bar in Hunter Ridge. A peek through the window showed the place to be practically empty, and Will held open the door for Holly, then followed her inside. He gave a polite smile to the waitress, who ushered them to a booth near the window. After they’d sat and ordered a couple of beers, Will looked at Holly and groaned.
“What would you do if you were me? Give up?”
She paused thoughtfully. “I’m not sure it’s possible to give up on love.”
“If Carson had put up a fight about being with you, would you have tried to force him to change his mind?”
“Yes, if I knew he loved me.” Holly gave a sheepish grin. “Actually, Carson and I were kind of in the same situation. I kept fighting the relationship and didn’t want to get seriously involved, and he kept pushing until I finally gave us a chance.”
“Are you glad he did?”
“Yes.” No hesitation. “If he hadn’t fought for us, we might not be together right now.”
Will ran a hand through his hair. “So you’re saying I should fight for her? Even when she’s determined to pretend she’s not in love with me?”
The waitress returned to deliver their drinks, and Holly lifted the beer bottle to her lips. “But you know it’s a lie, and she’ll admit it eventually. Because she does love you. You should’ve seen her face when the kiss ended. Sheer misery.”
His stomach clenched. He did not like knowing that he’d caused Mac pain.
“I didn’t see her trying to stop me,” he finally said, then took a long swig of beer. His mouth lifted in a bitter smile. “She’s probably home by now, hiding in that farmhouse the way she’s done for years.”
Holly’s lips curved, her focus on the window behind him. “I wouldn’t bet on it,” she murmured.
He twisted around, his heart leaping when he spotted Mackenzie crossing the narrow street, each step she took heavy with determination. Her lush mouth was set in a firm line, her pale blue eyes flashing.
Seconds later, she threw open the door and stormed into the bar.
“You’re an asshole, Will Charleston!” Mackenzie flung the insult at him like a live grenade, her cheeks burning with anger.
He lifted one brow. “Am I?”
Ignoring him, Mac turned her attention to Holly, who seemed to be fighting a smile. “You should know that you’re dating an insensitive jerk.”
Holly echoed Will’s reply. “Am I?”
“Did he tell you he slept with me last week?” Mac demanded.
The bar grew quiet. The three patrons at the long chrome counter swiveled their heads in the direction of the booth. Even the waitress eyed them curiously.
But Mac was oblivious to the nosy stares, and that said a lot—she always cared way too much about what the people in town thought of her. “Will and I had sex last week. Did you know that?”
“No,” Holly said with a shrug.
“Doesn’t that bother you?” Mackenzie snapped.
“Why should it?” Casually, Holly took a sip of her beer. “If it had meant anything, he’d be with you right now, not me.”
Will hid a smile.
“It meant something! It meant everything.”
He was stunned to see her eyes fill up with tears. “Mackenzie—”
“No,” she interrupted. “I don’t want to listen to you anymore. I get it, you’re done with me. Fine. I’m done with you too.”
She spun around and hurried out the door.
“Go,” Holly said with a sigh.
Will shot out of the booth and took off after Mackenzie. He caught up to her just as she reached her car. “Don’t even think about running,” he ordered, digging his fingers into the sleeve of her shirt.
“Leave me alone,” she protested, trying to free her arm.
He tightened his grip and dragged her to the narrow alleyway that separated Paula’s general store from the hair salon. A single bulb bathed the alley in a pale yellow glow, revealing Mac’s wet cheeks and eyelashes that were spiky with tears. Her gaze flitted all over the place, landing on everything but him.
“Look at me,” he demanded.
“No.”
He edged closer, slowly backing her into the brick wall, one hand still on her arm, the other now on her chin. He forcibly made her look at him. “What the hell do you want from me, Mackenzie?”
She let out a small sob. “Nothing.”
“Bullshit. What do you want?”
A few more tears spilled out of the corners of her eyes. “I don’t want anything to change.”
“Too bad, it has.” He wiped the tears away with his thumb, then rubbed her bottom lip. “Everything changed the moment you kissed me. Not when I showed up at your house during the storm, not when I slid my cock into you, but when you kissed me.”
“I already told you, I was upset about Dan and—”
“You were attracted to me,” he cut in. “You’re still attracted to me.” He dragged his fingers along the slender column of her throat, across her collarbone, down to the enticing vee of her chest.
“Don’t,” she whispered.
He dipped his fingers and stroked the upper swell of one breast. “Don’t pretend you want me to stop,” he whispered back.
She gasped as he moved his palm underneath the lacy cup of her bra and cupped her. “This isn’t right.”
“It’s right,” he disagreed. “Baby, it’s always been right.”
He let go of her arm, moving his other hand underneath her shirt. He cupped both breasts, stroking, running his thumbs over her nipples. Her breathing quickened, her blue eyes darkening with arousal.
Anticipation coiled inside him, tight and urgent like a rattlesnake about to strike. With a groan, he lowered his head to those enticing tits, nuzzling one stiff nipple before catching it in his mouth and sucking deeply.
Mac gasped with pleasure.
“You like that, don’t you?”
She didn’t reply, only released a little moan, and it was all he needed to hear. With his tongue still licking a nipple, he slid his hands down to her ass and squeezed. His cock jerked when Mac’s fingers found their way into his hair, tugging on the dark strands, keeping him trapped against her breasts. Fuck, he would never get enough of this woman.
He moved a hand to the button of her jeans, skillfully popped it open, and let his fingers go exploring. He rubbed her pussy through her panties, the heat of her searing his fingertips. His groin clenched. Fuck, he could come right now if he let himself, just from the feel of her under his palm. Mac started rocking against his hand, urging him on with soft little sounds, thrusting her tits into his face.