”
She arched to him, her thighs gripping one of his as she rubbed herself against him. The heat of her pussy through her jeans was destructive. He could sense the warmth, the slick dampness. She was so damned ready for him that the scent of her filled the air and left him feeling drunk on it.
“You’ll kill me like this,” he groaned, but he couldn’t stop himself.
Easing the undershirt up over her breasts, he revealed the delicate curves and the candy pink, spike-hard tips of her nipples. He wanted to lick them, suck them. He wanted to draw them into his mouth and fill his senses with the taste of her.
He used his fingers instead. Gripping the hardened little points between his index fingers and thumbs, he rolled them, stroked them, plumped them.
He watched, amazed, as she flushed from her breasts to her forehead. Red-gold hair spilled around her delicate features as her lashes closed over her eyes and her lips parted to draw in more air.
She was lost in the pleasure he was giving her. This was exactly where he wanted her, how he wanted her. He wanted her senses consumed by him, filled with his touch.
And Hawke realized he loved watching her reaction to him. If he had given in to the mating heat and taken her kiss, then he would have been denied the sight of her relishing his touch.
The mating hormone was pumping into his system, spilling from beneath his tongue as he fought to hold back his own lust for her. She wanted to touch. She wanted to love, he thought. But Jessica didn’t just want to be touched. She wanted to feel him, sense him. She wanted an assurance that what she would have with him would be enough to sustain a future together.
She had no idea. Mother Nature hadn’t made an imperfect mating yet. In all the years that the Breeds had been in existence, she hadn’t once created a pairing that hadn’t sustained, that hadn’t loved.
It was killing him, simply touching her like this, but he knew this was for their future. He couldn’t take from her. He couldn’t force the mating on her. Everything inside his soul rejected the thought. But he could tease her. He could entice her.
He stroked her nipples with his fingers, plumped them with his fingers. He cupped them, raked his palms over the tips, watched her face and the pleasure that suffused it.
It was almost innocent. Hell, it was innocent. She was a virgin. She came to him untouched by another man’s caresses, and he knew it. He knew her background, her history. She hadn’t played with boys. His serious, sober Jess had worked hard for a career, worked to escape the legacy her father would have drawn her into.
“So beautiful.” He sighed as his fingers trailed from her nipples to her rounded little tummy. “You make me crazy for you, Jess.”
She pressed her head deeper into the pillow as he played with the clasp of her jeans, a whimpering little moan leaving her lips.
“I can pleasure you without kissing you,” he promised her as he flicked the metal tab of her jeans open. “With just my fingers, I could make you come for me, Jess. Let me make you come.”
Hawke watched as she dragged her eyes open, her gaze going to his fingers as he pulled the zipper down.
“Let’s get these off, baby.” He lowered the material, dragging it from her hips, down her thighs.
He almost came himself when he saw the delicate violet silk of the low-rise panties she wore. They barely covered the fiery triangle of curls beneath, and did nothing to hide the fact that they were wet from her juices.
The scent of her filled his nostrils. Sweet, feminine, fresh. Like a mountain brook, he thought. That was what the scent reminded him of. Pure and clean; untouched.
“Jess.” He pulled the jeans from her legs and tossed them to the side of the bed as he fought for control.
She needed to see, needed to know. She needed this moment in time, he realized.
Moving to her side, he laid beside her, his hand covering the small mound between her thighs as he propped himself on his elbow to watch.
His fingers edged beneath her panties and her hips arched closer to him. A gasp, then a hard breath of need parted her lips as he let one finger slide into the narrow slit, feeling the slick wetness, the clench of her folds around his fingers.
His dick was in agony. His balls were drawn tight to the base of the agonized shaft as the crest throbbed in despair. A dark, spicy heat filled his mouth as the powerful hormone spilled into his system from the tight glands beneath his tongue.
Never had he imagined such agony, such need that he couldn’t relieve. Relief was the sweet, fiery heat his fingers were caressing; the delicate, plump folds; the taut, throbbing pearl of her clit.
He wanted his lips there, his tongue. He wanted to taste her as he was touching her, to spear his tongue inside her and feel her coming for him.
He had to end this soon, he realized. His control was shaky now, his hands trembling with the hunger racing through him.
Jessica was breathing hard and fast beside him, little moans breaking past her lips as he circled the entrance to her vagina, dipped his finger inside, then massaged her clit with his thumb.
Her hips arched, a cry throttled from her throat as he felt her clench around his finger.
She was close. So close.
essica felt as though the world were burning around J her. Pleasure surrounded her, filled her. His finger caressed the opening to her sex, thrusting inside just enough to stroke nerve endings she hadn’t known she possessed, while his thumb raked across her clit before finding a spot that sent her flying.
He stroked it, rubbed it. His finger thrust lightly inside her, his thumb ground against her clit and she felt her mind explode. Her senses disintegrated. Her orgasm was an explosion of sensation and light that tore through her, tightened her muscles and had her arching, crying, fighting to breathe.
She was gasping for breath, short, startled cries leaving her lips as he jerked her to him, holding her close, tight, as shudders tore through her body.
This was pleasure. It was flying in another’s arms. It was racing to the sun and exploding in the center of it even as she knew it could have been better, brighter, hotter.
It could have been pure, unfettered sensation with his kiss.
A kiss she now knew she wouldn’t be able to live without.
SIX
Hawke was in agony.
The next morning he slid slowly from the bed, grimacing at the violent sensitivity of his dick as he eased away from Jessica’s warm, naked body.
She was sleeping deeply, one arm thrown over her head, the silken, tangled mass of red-gold hair spilling around her face to her shoulders.
Fiery lashes feathered her cheeks. A light flush suffused her face and her soft pink lips were parted as she breathed in and out slowly.
Perfectly curved ripe breasts lifted and fell with each breath and, God knew, they tempted him almost past bearing. It would take so very little to begin the mating heat right now. He could lower his head, take one of her soft nipples into his mouth and suckle her slow and sweet, never waking her.
The mating hormone would lave the sensitive flesh, sink into it and slowly enter her system. Twelve to twenty-four hours and she would need his touch like she needed the air she was now breathing.
As much as he wanted her, as much as he needed her, he couldn’t do that to her.
Shaking his head, he turned and moved to the bathroom. A cold shower wouldn’t help his hard dick, and he knew it. The spray of the water would only torment already sensitive flesh, but he needed to get ready for the day ahead.
He stepped under the spray and almost moaned at the feel of the water over the flesh. Hell, he was going to have to make this the quickest shower on record.
Grabbing the bottle of liquid soap, he quickly lathered his hair and rinsed it before soaping a rag and going to work on his body.
The quick, hard strokes of the rag were torture to his aroused body. The silky slid of suds over his cock and down his thighs were hell.
He rinsed quickly and gave a sigh
of relief as he turned off the shower, grabbed a dry towel and grimaced at the thought of drying. Damn, no man should have to go through this, he thought. But neither should a female. He knew what Jessica would suffer once the mating heat started. A sensitivity of flesh that wouldn’t allow for the lightest touch of anything but his hands, his body, his possession.
It was harder for their women, and so far, Breed males were very aware of this. They were selective in their choice of lovers, ensuring that when they went out in public they paid attention to even the smallest signs that mating heat could occur. Enough had been forced on them; they had no desire to force the sometimes painful arousals on a female, whether she was Breed or not.
Wrapping the towel around his waist, he pulled the shower doors back and came face-to-face with Jessica from where she sat on the bathroom counter, watching him.
Her somber blue eyes regarded him quizzically as her gaze flicked to the obvious arousal beneath the cotton.
“You were hard all night,” she said softly.
Glancing away from her, Hawke paced to the sink, where he’d placed a clean change of clothes.
“No answer?” she asked.
“What does it matter, Jess?” He let himself watch her in the mirror, saw the suspicion in her face and almost groaned at the next question.
“The mating heat affects you anyway, doesn’t it?” There was a knowing tone to her voice, an edge of regret.
“It’s not as bad for me as it would be for you.” He shrugged as though it didn’t matter, when he knew damned good and well that the need was eating him alive. Like acid in his gut, it was tearing at the very fiber of his control.
“Because you were trained to endure pain.” That wasn’t a question. It was an observation, and more or less the truth.
“Pretty much.” He cast her a look of self-mockery. Hell, he might as well try to laugh about it, since raging over it would only make it worse. “We were trained to endure a lot of things. Maybe it’s just second nature now.”
She ducked her head for a moment before looking to the shower as though desperately seeking a way to change the subject.
“Will it hurt me?” When she lifted her head there was a hint of nervousness in her gaze. “Hope, Faith and Charity didn’t say anything about pain.”
He’d cut off his own dick before he’d hurt her.
“It’s the lack of sex that hurts, Jess,” he promised her. “Once mating heat starts with you, I’ll ensure you never have to worry about hurting.” He shot her a teasing wink as he tried to lighten the information for her.
It didn’t work.
Her head lowered as she stared at the pretty ceramic floor of the bathroom.
“Hey.” He nudged at her arm with his. “It’s Christmas Eve, you know.”
She looked up, nibbling at her lower lip as she watched him.
“Wolfe and Hope are throwing a Christmas party for Haven in the community center this evening. Lots of good food, some dancing, a little bit of drinking.” He waggled his brows at her. “Want to go with me?”
“I’d like that.” A slow, blooming smile lit her face. “I’d really like that, Hawke.”
He bent, kissed the crown of her head and then pulled back quickly. “Good. Then we’ll leave here about six. Until then, get some warm clothes on. I have some things I need to do today and I thought you might enjoy going with me.”
“What kind of things?” She tilted her head, staring back at him with a natural curiosity he’d always been drawn to.
“Oh. Things.” He shrugged as he spanned her waist with his hands and lifted her from the counter. “Now get out of here and let me get dressed. When I’m done you can get in here and shower while I fix breakfast.”
He guided her to the bathroom door, pushed her through the opening and then closed it firmly. He almost locked it. Son of a bitch. If he wasn’t careful, then there would be no way in hell for him to be able to give her the time she needed to decide if this mating was what she truly wanted.
It was all he could do to keep from kissing her now. To keep from taking her. The glands beneath his tongue were so swollen with the mating hormone that it was painful. His dick was as hard as stone and his flesh felt scorched each time he touched her.
Some days it simply sucked to be a Breed.
Jessica showered while Hawke fixed breakfast. Standing beneath the warmth of the spray, she let her hands travel over her body, remembering Hawke’s touch from the night before.
He’d been gentle. There had been an air of desperate hunger that surrounded him, but never once had he done anything to start the mating heat that she knew he was craving.
Not once had his lips touched hers, or touched bare skin, period. He hadn’t kissed her, hadn’t licked her. And she’d been dying for it.
Dressed in jeans, an undershirt and a sweater, Jessica moved back to her bedroom where she sat on the bed and pulled on thick, heavy socks.
Colorado winters had been particularly hard in the past few years. There was already a foot of snow on the ground from the night before and another foot predicted before the end of the night. And it was Christmas Eve. She had missed Christmas since leaving home at eighteen. Even before that, Christmas had lacked something. A sincerity, a sense of pure affection when the family had come together. During her years in the Army she had stayed in the barracks over the holidays, preferring the solitude to the fake laughter and endless parties her family had forced her to endure.
She wondered if spending Christmas with the Breeds would be any better. She’d heard of the joyous celebrations of Christmases past. The presents the alpha and his mate, Hope, gave out, and the exchange of gifts that the other Breeds participated in.
The Breeds had never had Christmas in the labs, so celebrating it now, as Hope had once told her, was an affirmation that they were indeed free to celebrate, to laugh, to love and to live.
Slipping her feet into hiking boots, she tied them snugly before standing and moving to the closed door.
Breakfast with Hawke wasn’t stilted, nor did she feel the old anger rising inside her that she had experienced over the past year.
They ate a simple meal. Eggs, lots of bacon for Hawke, toast and her beloved caffeine-rich coffee. After the dishes were cleared away, he helped her into her coat and they left the house.
There were Breeds with shovels clearing driveways around the compound. Others were stringing more lights. There was always something going on at Haven and there were always willing hands to help.
There was never trash on the grounds, there was never disorderliness. The Breeds were oftentimes much neater than their human cousins, and had a much greater sense of cleanliness.
The frigid winter morning was held at bay by the thermal lining of her coat, and if that hadn’t kept her warm there was always Hawke’s arm around her waist as he escorted her to the waiting Range Rover, which had been started with the remote ignition from the house.
Helping her into the all-terrain vehicle, Hawke closed the door before loping to the driver’s side and sliding behind the wheel.
She noticed he wasn’t wearing a coat. Thin leather gloves covered his hands, but other than that he wore only jeans, boots and a dark blue flannel shirt with a T-shirt beneath it.
Breeds didn’t get as cold as easily as their human cousins either, she thought with a twinge of envy.
“Where are we going?” she asked as he shifted the vehicle into reverse to turn around and head out of the driveway onto the main thoroughfare that led through the Wolf Breed Compound.
“I’ll show you.” He flashed her a wicked grin before moving one hand from the steering wheel to grip her hand where it lay on her thigh.
Jessica stared at his leather-gloved fingers as they covered hers and wondered at the warmth that she could feel through the gloves.
It shouldn’t be like this, she thought. After a year without him, a year confined to a cool, boring little cell where she hadn’t seen him, hadn’t heard from him, it sho
uldn’t be like this. She shouldn’t feel these emotions shifting through her, racing in her bloodstream and heating her pussy like an internal fire she couldn’t put out.
“You could just tell me.” Her heart was beating hard in her chest and she had no doubt he could scent the arousal burning inside her.
“If I told you, then it wouldn’t be a surprise.” There was that smile again. A crooked upturn of his lips, his golden eyes filled with promise.
She was reminded of those days before the attack on Haven over a year ago, when he would tease her with surprise lunches in the small park behind the communications shed, or with sweets to tease her taste buds.
She hadn’t realized at the time that he had been courting her, and now she wondered how she could have missed it.
“Close your eyes for me.”
She turned to stare at him in surprise as he made the sudden request.
“Close my eyes?” She was actually starting to have fun. “Why?”
“So I can have my way with you?” He waggled his brows suggestively before chuckling, the sound a dark, erotic stroke against her senses. “Just close your eyes, Jess. I promise, you’ll like this.”
She closed her eyes. She resisted the urge to peek, because she loved surprises. She always had.
“What are you up to, Hawke?” she asked again as she felt the Range Rover make several turns. While she had once been pretty certain that she knew where they were, now she wasn’t so sure.
“Just a few more minutes,” he urged her.
With her eyes closed it seemed she could hear a more subtle nuance in his voice. Almost a sense of nervousness. She had to be hearing wrong, she decided. Hawke was never nervous. He was always confident and in charge, never anything less.
“I’ve been working on something over the past year.” He finally cleared his throat as the Rover began to slow down. “While you were confined, when I had spare time, there was something I wanted, something I needed, to do.”
The Rover came to a stop.
“Hawke?” She whispered his name breathlessly.
“Not yet.” His fingers touched her eyes with the utmost gentleness. “I knew you were my mate, Jess. I know it’s hard to forgive me for staying away. I know you’ve been angry, and I don’t blame you.”
She parted her lips to speak, but his fingertips landed on them.
“Just a minute, baby,” he urged her. “It was the only way to prove you were no traitor. I knew you weren’t. I believed in you, Jess, but I knew you’d never be accepted by the packs that are a part of Haven if you weren’t proven innocent.”
That made sense. A part of her had even known that, struggled with the idea of it over the months that she had been in the cell.
“I made certain you were comfortable.”
She had been. She’d had warm blankets, home-cooked meals, warm clothes.
“I made certain you weren’t too bored.”
Magazines, books and a television had been brought to her. But even more, sketch pads, pencils and watercolors. Jess loved to sketch and draw, and the tools for that hobby had been brought to her.
“I made certain everyone understood that I’d stand between you and any punishment of death.”
She hadn’t known that.
“I wanted to give you more though.” His voice softened further. “You can open your eyes now, Jess.”
She opened her eyes. Her lips parted in shock. There, by the edge of a mountain lake that she had always loved to sketch beside, sat the vision of a house she had sketched so many times.
The house wasn’t large. It wasn’t ostentatious like the one her parents had once possessed. The cabin-style home blended well with the other cabins in the compound, but with a few noticeable differences.
There was a red tin roof rather than plain aluminum. It was a little larger, three bedrooms rather than one. For the children she had dreamed of having with Hawke. She’d dreamed of two. A boy and a girl. It was exactly as she had described it to him, as she had drawn it so many times.
There was a porch swing on the front porch and areas for flowers along the edge of the porch, and it had been built between the gorgeous oak and pine trees that bordered the lake.
It was breathtaking. Just as she had always envisioned it.
“Hawke.” She turned to him, her lips trembling with emotion.
“I didn’t just know you were my mate, Jessica.” His leather covered hand framed her face. “I knew I loved you. Just as I still love you.”
And he had. Everything he had done, every sacrifice he had made, proved he loved her.
“I never stopped loving you,” she whispered as a tear fell from her eye.
She leaned forward, an irrevocable decision made, one she knew she couldn’t regret, would never regret. This was Hawke. She belonged to him. He belonged to her.
Her lips touched his as his hands gripped her arms in surprise. Her tongue touched his lips as a flare of fear tore through her. What if this wasn’t what he wanted? What he meant?
But it had to be. She couldn’t accept losing him now. She couldn’t accept never having taken this chance.
She licked over his lips with her tongue. As they parted she turned her head, controlling the kiss with experimental passion, her tongue stroking tentatively against his, the spicy-sweet taste of wild lust and desperate hunger exploding against her tongue.
As though the taste of him against her tongue exploded inside him as well, she felt his hand at the back of her head, his tongue pushing against hers as he groaned against her lips and pure erotic need began flashing between them.
Within seconds he had pushed his seat back, pulled her across his lap and taken control of the kiss. His tongue pressed between her lips as she closed them around it, sucking it into her mouth. Her tongue stroked against his, the narcotic taste of him whipping through her system, sizzling through her senses.