“I know there’s a reason, Liv,” Ian whispers as he runs a hand down the back of my hair. “Your father was a smart man. He’s survived centuries, and he’s seen a lot. There has to be a reason to all this. A very good one.”
“I don’t understand,” I breathe. “I just… I need to know why.”
I TAKE A DEEP BREATH when I hear voices floating down through the hole. I’m pretty sure it’s Danny and Markov. If they’re there, I suspect in the foyer, I’m sure the others are not far away.
“Time to be a queen again,” Ian says into my hair. And where once there was only resentment and anger when it came to me ruling the House, there’s now support and understanding.
I nod my head and step away. Instantly, my eyes are drawn to Rath. He watches me, studying. Taking a step around Ian, I take four toward the man who has been as much a father to me as I have ever had.
“I first need to apologize to you, Rath.” My heart is absolutely racing. My palms sweat and everything in me holds firm, when all it wants to do is quiver into a puddle of scum on the floor. “You recognized what I was becoming before I saw it. You tried to warn me, multiple times. And I didn’t listen.”
He holds my eyes, and I stare back into his. Begging for him to see that I really have changed. “Circumstances made me forget who I was. Where I came from. It felt like every little manipulation I’d suffered just brought me one step closer to the edge of losing myself. So, I started fighting back. But while I fought back, I didn’t realize I’d already slipped over the edge.”
I take one step closer to him, breathing in Rath’s scent. Like lemon grass and firewood smoke. Secrets and loyalty.
“You did your best. You did as Henry asked.” My throat thickens. “You did guide me. And now, I stand before you, so very, very sorry. For everything. I can do nothing but beg your forgiveness and tell you that I have changed. Things will be different.”
It’s difficult, bearing the weight of his gaze. I’ve meant every word I just said, and it’s hard to humble yourself before one of the people who matters most to you in this life.
But I need Rath back. And this is his home, every bit as much as it is mine.
“Your actions surprised me,” Rath says. “I saw a girl, who came into this house an empty vessel; one who needed to be educated and allowed to rise once she was given the correct information. But you turned in the opposite direction.”
I bite my lower lip when emotion threatens to take me over once more. But I won’t cry. I can’t.
“I watched you become something I did not recognize. And it cracked my soul, Alivia.” His eyes remain steady, calm, and an inch away from cold. “I do not know if I can yet forgive what you did. But…”
He hesitates in finishing his statement, as if evaluating the words one last time. If he’s making the right call. Finally, he looks back up at me, sure of whatever he’s about to say. “But if Henry is still alive, I will stay and help you find him.”
I can’t hold myself back any longer. I rush forward, wrapping my arms around his waist, squeezing him hard. “Thank you, Rath. I promise that I will show you that I’m different. I will regain your trust, even if I have to spend the rest of my immortal life doing it.”
Rath lowers his startled arms, carefully enfolding me. He doesn’t hug me back. But he doesn’t push me away, either.
“Thank you,” I whisper once more. I back away, looking up into his eyes, offering a small smile.
“Liv, I think it’s time,” Ian offers quietly from behind us.
I take a quick breath in through my nose, standing a little straighter as I take a step back from Rath. I nod once and the two of them follow me back to the platform. I crouch down and twist the key. With a little lurch, the platform begins to rise once more.
My eyes quickly dart around the space. I feel a little hollow now. For a moment as I first descended, I thought I might suddenly find Henry, alive and well in the lab. But he isn’t there, and I still can’t be certain he’s alive.
Whispers float into the room as we level even with the rest of the ballroom floor. I retrieve my key, looping the necklace around my neck once more. There’s no one to be seen, but I can hear them. Just around the corner, on the steps leading upstairs.
“It’s okay, you can come out now,” I call loudly enough for them to hear me, which isn’t loud at all.
First to round the stairs is Cameron, followed by Samuel. Then it’s Nial, Christian, Anna, Trinity, Markov, Danny, and Obasi.
So few of the full members of the House of Conrath. I wonder if any of them took off after the King hauled me off to Roter Himmel and the Court members left.
One by one, they flow into the ballroom and stop before me, waiting for my words.
I don’t say anything for a moment. I have to revaluate what kind of leader I want to be right now. I’ve done everything out of manipulation and political games up until this moment. I’ve twisted and lied and played with so many ploys.
But all of that has to change. I need to continue finding myself.
“Things are going to be different,” I begin. I look around at them all, and when I do, I remind myself that they are people. They were once humans, with mundane problems and sicknesses and ailments, just like I used to be. They’re individuals. They are not pawns. “I’m ashamed of who I was becoming. I saw the fear when many of you looked at me. The same way you looked at Cyrus…” I shake my head, squeezing my eyes closed.
“It can’t be like that. I don’t want things to be like that,” I whisper. Everything in me fractures, splintering off the dark queen I was becoming. Shaking off the fear and the toying, I stand before them as Alivia. Ryan. Conrath.
“I will do better,” I promise them. “I will be better. For each of you. For our House. For Silent Bend. I apologize for the way things have happened. I wish I was strong enough for it to have been different. But I can’t change the past. I can’t take any of it back. So all I can do is learn from it and move on, and hope that all of you will forgive me.”
“Do you really think any of it could have played out differently?” Lillian steps out from behind Markov. In her eyes, I see so much shame. “Every major event that has happened since you came to town…do you really think you had any other choices to make besides the ones you did? Your hand…your hand was forced along every turn, and I don’t see any other way for things to have ended up, Alivia.”
“Of course things could have turned out differently,” I admit quietly. “I could have always made a better call, looked for a better way around an obstacle without hurting the people I did. And I beg your forgiveness.”
Lillian’s eyes well, red and full of tears. She steps forward, dropping to her knees on the marble floor. “No,” she says. “I beg of yours. I should have never doubted you. I betrayed your trust.”
I shake my head, but this time Samuel steps forward. “She’s right, Liv. You hadn’t done anything to make us doubt you, but, well, some of us did. You didn’t deserve that. I’m really, truly sorry.” He bows his head.
“I…” Cameron says, but his voice cuts out. “I hate to admit it, but I kind of questioned you there, for a little bit. I want to punch myself in the face for it, but I did. Sorry, Livy.”
I shake my head, my throat thick with emotion. It takes me several long moments before I’m able to speak. “We’ve all made mistakes,” I say as I walk forward. I pull Lillian to her feet. “Can we all just let the past go and move on?”
Lillian’s tears break free onto her cheeks and she nods her head. I fold her into my arms, hugging her tight, and feel all of her pain and regret. I hope she can feel mine in return.
I turn to the side and pull Cameron into our hug, and Lillian reaches over and drags Samuel in, as well.
“Well, if this didn’t turn into a barf cheese fest,” Danny chuffs. Which brings laughs from most everyone else.
I chuckle as I back away from the group hug, looking out at all of them. “Okay, now that we got that out of the wa
y...” They all, again, laugh with me. “Um, I guess there’s some things we need to talk about.”
“So, Henry’s still alive?” Christian is the first to ask what I’m sure are a dozen questions burning through the group.
“Maybe,” I say with a tiny shrug. “I can’t find perfect, solid evidence either way, but…my gut tells me yes, that he’s still alive.”
Several curse words slip from multiple mouths. There’s a lot to be said about this. But no surety. “I don’t know. I’ve only just discovered what lies beneath the ballroom floor. Until we know what’s going on, I beg of you, don’t say a word about it. I don’t want to keep any more secrets, but please, for now, don’t tell those at the Institute what you’ve seen.”
I search their eyes, and one by one, they each nod their heads in agreement.
“I need to investigate further, with Rath and Nial’s help, but things need to be taken care of first,” I say. “So please, try not to get too crazy with the speculation. Keep calm about it. For now, this doesn’t change anything.”
“Cause we have a more important problem at hand,” Anna pipes up. “Impending war.”
I nod my head, even as the cold rock forms in my stomach. “Anna, I’m sure you’ll brief me on everything that’s been going on when we get time this evening. We’ll plan. We will find a way to end this chaos.”
“What about him?” Markov asks, nodding his head in Ian’s direction. “Is he still hell-bent on killing all of us?”
Every set of eyes in the room shifts to Ian. And to my utter relief, he doesn’t recoil from their scrutiny. He stuffs his hands into his pockets and steps forward, so that he’s standing side by side with me.
“I know my relationship with most of you has been…” he hesitates, “complicated, in the past. I didn’t know, and I didn’t really want to know. Being like you all was the last thing I expected to ever happen, but it did, and well, I’m in this for a long, immortal life now, so I guess I better get over it, huh?”
Ian gives an uncomfortable little chuckle, feeling the weight of so many eyes. But he looks over at me, and that gaze there, the history and struggle and understanding, it warms everything inside of me.
“I love Alivia,” Ian says as he reaches for my hand and looks back at the House members. “I tried to fight it. Tried to turn my back on it. But I do. And that’s never going to change. So, I’m going to be here, as long as she’ll have me. I’m going to try, every damn day, to make all of this easier. If you’ll forgive my past, I’ll look past yours.”
Well, that last part wasn’t quite as smooth as I would have liked it to be, but it’s something.
The smug look on Anna’s face says she didn’t miss it either. Same with Christian and Samuel, who give a slight eye roll.
“Are you sure you can live peacefully in a house full of bloodsuckers?” Markov asks. He fixes Ian with a cold, calculating stare as he takes five steps forward. “In a house where some of us must hunt in the night? In a house where violence will never be fully eradicated? In a house where we do not hide what we are?”
Markov stops just a foot in front of Ian, almost nose to nose.
“Are you sure you can live in a house where we keep our promises to a leader, that we will never feed in this town?” he says quietly. His eyes study Ian, taunting him. Testing him. “Are you sure you can live in a house where I will kill any living being, mortal or immortal, if they threaten the life of Alivia? Are you sure you can live in a House with that kind of passion for the woman you claim to love?”
The air holds so much weight I’m sure it’s going to explode, leaving no one alive, no one to survive the severity of Markov’s words.
Markov, who once terrified me so. Who seemed so insane and out of control. But is now so devoted and loyal, I can’t quite believe it’s real.
He stares Ian down, waiting to push him over the edge of his control.
“Yes,” Ian states. Simple. And absolutely sure. “I can handle it. For Alivia.”
“It has to be for more than just Alivia,” Markov says. “It has to be for yourself. Because, in the end, we are all selfish creatures, and unless it is for you, anyone can be pushed past their breaking point.”
The words are profound and absolutely true. Suddenly, my chest is filled with worry. Ian does have a tendency to snap. To be pushed past his level of control. His love for me really won’t be enough.
Ian looks over at me, and I see the self-reflection Markov has forced him to embark upon. He doesn’t answer right away, and I see it there in his eyes. A few moments of self-doubt. The worry that maybe he can’t do this.
For just a moment, I panic.
“I can do this, for me,” Ian says. A promise said to me. A promise made to the House of Conrath. “Because I can’t live this whole, long life hating half of my DNA.” He looks back at Markov. “I can do this.”
After only two seconds of hesitation, a slow, always terrifying smile begins to curl on one side of Markov’s mouth. He reaches a hand forward, which Ian takes without hesitation. “Then, welcome to the House of Conrath.”
A huge breath of relief escapes my chest as Ian pulls Markov closer, enveloping him in a man hug. I’m witnessing a miracle. Truly. Ian Ward, hunter of all vampires, finding peace with Markov, the most manic vampire I’ve yet met—save Cyrus.
“Didn’t think either of them was going to survive that one,” Samuel pipes up. He lets out a chuckle and soon everyone is laughing along.
“I think we were all just witness to a phenomenon,” Trinity adds. Her expression is still grim, never one to look happy, but there is a slight twinkle to her eyes.
“So, Ian’s staying, Alivia’s back—does that mean you’re here to stay, too, Rath?” Anna asks it with severity in her eyes, anger and mistrust angled in his direction. She doesn’t forgive him for walking away from me, no matter how justified he was in doing so.
“If Henry is still alive, I have to find him,” Rath says, looking uncomfortable under all their stares. He’s never lived in a true House. This has to be somewhat intimidating. “I will stay and help Alivia.”
“Look at you, Livy,” Cameron says with a wide, dopey smile. “Not even twenty-four and your House dominates! Looks like you’ve got two more members today!”
At this, all eyes turn to Obasi. His gaze darkens, and his entire body stiffens.
“It’s good to see you, Obasi,” I offer. I’m timid, unsure of what he’s doing here. “May I ask what brought you to Silent Bend?”
He looks around at the House members, as if evaluating their strengths, their weaknesses. “Word was traveling around the palace,” he says. His voice is intense. Deep and rumbling, his accent one I cannot place to any specific country in Africa. “You claimed a war was coming. A war with the Bitten.”
“That’s right.” I nod. Just the thought makes my throat turn dry.
“If it is a war with the Bitten, I will do whatever it takes to keep my kind safe from them.” The words are spoken hard, with history and vengeance. But he does not give further explanation.
“We greatly appreciate your help,” I say, hoping I communicate my gratitude through my eyes. “I am still getting my feet under me after returning from my trial. I will keep you informed of everything going on. Until then, I hope you’re comfortable staying with us.”
He grunts in the affirmative, and there are no more words from my strong, terrifying fellow prisoner.
“Okay,” I say, feeling mentally exhausted already. “We have a lot to catch up on. Much to do. But it’s been a hell of a long day. I’ll see all of you at dawn?”
Each of them nods, Lillian giving me another apologetic smile. Cameron gives me a peace sign with his fingers as he walks away. Markov grants Ian one more daring look before he, too, wanders out of the ballroom.
“Your room is still open,” I say to Rath. “I think I need some rest, but we’ll talk in a few hours, okay?”
The conflict is so obvious in his eyes as he looks back at me.
Without a word, he nods, and walks away.
Finally, it’s just Ian and me alone in the ballroom.
“Well, this turned into one hell of an unexpected day.”
A smile pulls on my lips and I let myself sag into Ian’s arms. I’m suddenly wiped out, but I don’t feel like I can rest. Not even close. There’s so much to be done. So many things to figure out.
“I’m beat,” I confess into his shirt. “Can we just freeze time for like, three hours, and take a pause to breathe. And maybe get something to eat?”
Ian chuckles, tightening his arms around me. “Life has been a little non-stop since the second you stepped foot in this town, hasn’t it?”
“That’s an understatement,” I breathe as I turn my head and rest my cheek against his chest. I take three slow breaths. Relax my body into his. “This is nice.”
“Yeah, it is,” he whispers into the top of my head. He presses his lips into my hair, holding me close.
But I know we can’t just stand here and enjoy the feel of one another. There’s too much tension in the air. Too much weighing down on my chest. I need to take care of things. And so does he.
“You should go see Lula,” I say because I’m too responsible.
“I know.” He presses his lips to my head once more before backing up, taking both of my hands in his. “Elle says Lula’s not good, that she probably won’t live much longer. I need to get things sorted. See Elle. Figure a few things out.”
“This still isn’t going to be easy, is it?” I say with a sad smile.
“It’ll always be complicated,” he says back.
“But worth it.” I lean forward and gently press my lips to his. The kiss lingers, longing for more, but knowing it can’t happen. We both have too much that we must take care of.
“I promise it will be,” he says with so much weight for this moment. “I’ll be back before midnight. I want a good, long nap, and I want you there with me.”