me know what you think.” I said that I would. Tillie also said that she would teach me English. I gathered that she didn’t make friends easily for some reason and was kind of lonely. Maybe it was because she looked physically different from the other ladies. She also seemed unbeaten by the circumstances of life.
Walking back home with Tilly made the trip more bearable. We walked in the door together. Annie saw this and gave us a disapproving look. I wasn’t sure why. We all had dinner followed by a little conversation by the men speaking in English and Russian. I then went to sleep against a backdrop of horse carts, cursing, and someone singing loudly and out of tune. This place feels so alien. I am not sure if I will ever succeed here or feel at home.
The next few days followed the same pattern. I was awoken up by Annie, worked most of the day, and spent as much time as I could with Tilly. I don’t know if I was attracted to her because she was smart and pretty or if I just needed someone to bond with to help overcome the alienation and loneliness of this new life. In any case, she was helping me learn some English and know more about the USA.
Annie seemed upset with my time spent with Tilly. One evening, about three months later, when Tilly had gone to see a play at an amateur theater, she told me why. Annie had been friends with Tilly’s mom Molly but had always disapproved how friendly she was with the opposite sex. “One night she had relations with a non-Russian man that was passing through town. She never saw him again and had to raise a child by herself. Molly went to another village far away because no one knew her there. Once there, she met and married another man who promised to raise Tilly and hopefully some new children with Molly as well. Molly reluctantly agreed. Tilly was ignored by the other children because she looked so physically different. She made few friends and retreated into the world of books with dangerous ideas. When Tilly was old enough, she was sent to America and unwillingly, I agreed to give her a place to stay. Please do not talk to her. I see now that that it is time for her to leave so she doesn’t corrupt you. I know a place where she can stay with proper unmarried ladies so she can perhaps learn better ways and make herself less of a threat. If you are lonely and need someone to talk to, my daughters, sons, Isaac or myself are glad to do that. Do you agree?”
I was upset that in this land of equality, where so many tried to escape discrimination, I had my first of many brushes with prejudice and ignorance. I unwillingly agreed with her on the condition that I could talk to Tilly one last time to say goodbye. Annie reluctantly consented.
During the factory’s lunch break, I told Tilly what had happened. “I’m really torn. You are the only non-relative friend that I have here. Everyone else here is into their own lives or causes. They don’t have time for me and I feel very alone. But I do not want to lose my lodging nor upset my cousins. I am always getting into trouble. I want a fresh start here.”
Tilly smiled “I understand Annie. And I understand Momma as well. Momma said to me that one true moment of connecting with someone was worth more than a lifetime of security. She never had any regrets about what she did. She saw me as a happy reminder of that night and loved me the best she could. When we moved to a small village near the Black Sea, we were shunned by all but my step-father. He saw my mother’s plight and offered to marry her. He was kind and loved me as he did my half-sisters that soon arrived. He encouraged me to read, learn, and think for myself. I loved the life with Momma and my new Poppa and sisters. When I was 19, Annie had written to Momma that now was a good time to come to America. And so I came. Annie and Isaac found a job for me in the factory and I used my extra time to read, learn, and attend the theater. Let’s talk some more on the way back – one last time.”
That evening we walked together until stopping in a nearby park. Tilly said what I was thinking: “There is some unseen force that keeps pulling me to you and you to me. I felt it the moment you came in the door that first night. I know you feel the same way. I see four options for us:
The first is to never see each other again. But I don’t think that is possible for either of us.
The second is to send letters to each other and meet in secret. But then you have the fear of always being found out. (Annie will always be suspicious even if we never see each other again.)
The third is that we both move out and find housing near each other so we can continue meeting. We will have some freedom that way.
The fourth is that we get married move in together, save on expenses, and have our maximum freedom.
I am asking you to consider option 4 and get married. You do not have to give me an answer right away. “
There was no hesitation in my answer. “Of course I will marry you. This is the only one real option. You know me well – I am attracted to you. You are very smart and beautiful and I’m thrilled you like me so much. However, I don’t have a ring or lots of money. I will do what I can however to make you happy.”
Years later I learned that women in America didn’t ask men to get married. But I did not know this and many other things.
One week later, we moved out, and lived across town in a neighborhood that I hadn’t heard of before called Greenwich Village.
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