“Is it because your life didn’t take the path you wanted?” I choke out.
“Maybe.”
I reach out and steady myself on the coffee table.
“It’s a simple answer,” I manage to say, even though my heart is splitting into a thousand tiny pieces. “Do you love me, or is it done?”
He stands, staring at me, his eyes scanning my face. Eyes that I love so damned much.
“No, I don’t love you anymore. I think we need a break.”
Agony rips into my soul and I wrap my hands around my belly, gasping for air. I never thought anything would hurt so much. His words penetrate into my very core and rip it into a thousand tiny shreds. Max . . . my lover, my husband, my best friend, doesn’t love me anymore.
“Did it ever mean anything?” I sob, brokenly.
“I honestly don’t know. Do yourself a favor, Anabelle—get yourself a better life. I’m not that life, and I think you need to accept that.”
He’s studying my face as if he’s waiting for something from me—I just don’t know what that something is. It almost looks as if he’s seeing how hard I’ll fight for him. What he doesn’t understand is that his words have ripped my already broken soul in half. If it was just me, maybe I’d fight, but I have a baby in my stomach.
So I say nothing.
His eyes flash, and then he closes off again and reaches over, grabbing his keys.
He says nothing more. He just walks out the door.
He just ripped my world to shreds, and now he’s leaving without a word.
I guess that leaves only one option for me, and my baby, who deserves so much more than this.
With my broken heart and soul, I pack my things, and like a thief in the night, I disappear.
As if I never existed.
As if Max and Belle just never were.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
NOW – BELLE
“Daddy, push me faster!”
Max is pushing Immy on the swings, a massive smile on his face. I can’t wipe the grin from my own face as her laughter fills the air. Max and I have been taking things slow for a month now, and it’s been incredible. I’m trying not to hold onto the hope that things are going to be perfect, but with every passing day, I’m starting to think we might just be able to make a family.
“Can’t push you any faster, kiddo. You’ll fly off the swing and get hurt.”
Immy scoffs. “No I won’t.”
“Will too. Come on, slow down and we’ll get ice cream.”
“Yippee!”
The swing slows down and Max takes Immy off the swing, lifting her into his big arms. I watch them and my heart swells with happiness. Imogen will always have him as her protector, someone to watch over her and take care of her, always. That’s more than I could have ever asked for. Turning, Max carries her over to me, his face light, just like the boy I fell in love with.
“Hope you’re ready to get fit, handsome.” I laugh. “She’ll keep you on your toes.”
“Fine by me, Blue Belle,” he says, catching my hand.
“Daddy?” Immy asks, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “Are you going to marry Mommy?”
“I’m already married to her, kiddo.”
“You are?” she squeals. “How come I didn’t get to wear a dress?”
He chuckles. “Because you weren’t quite born yet.”
I listen to them talk, and I know that we’re going to have to explain to her someday why he missed the first few years of her life, but at least she has him from now on. That’s all that matters.
“What flavor ice cream?” he asks, putting her down.
She races towards the ice cream cart in the park. “Strawverry, strawverry!”
She can’t say strawberry, and it’s damned cute.
Max reaches over, putting an arm around my shoulder. “Clear Saturday night. I’m taking you on a date.”
“You are?” I ask, with wide eyes.
“Fuck yeah I am. Is this serious?”
“That’s a stupid question, right?”
He stops and turns, studying me. “We’ve been through a lot of shit, Blue Belle.”
“And we’ve come out the other side.”
“I hurt you.”
“And I hurt you.”
His lip twitches. “Yeah, right, I get your point. So? A date?”
I wrap my arm around his waist. “Absolutely, handsome.”
He grins.
A real grin, dimples and all.
~*~*~*~
“How’s things between you and Max?” Rainer asks, sliding a drink towards me.
“Awesome. What about you? Are you liking fighting with him?”
Rainer grins, rubbing a hand over his jaw. “He throws a damned hard punch.”
I giggle. “I wouldn’t expect any less.”
“He’s given me a way to vent and get out the shit in my soul, and that’s a damned good thing.”
I stop smiling and study his face. “I didn’t realize you had shit in your soul.”
He smiles brokenly. “I got plenty of shit.”
I scan his beautiful face, and I have to admit I’ve seen the pain there. The broken pain in his eyes. Something bad has happened in Rainer’s life, and somehow it intertwines with whatever happened to Pippa. His story fascinates me.
“Anything you feel like sharing? I’m a good listener.”
He smiles, throwing a towel over his big, broad shoulder. “I’m not sure your ears want my story.”
I shrug. “I’ve got all night, so try me.”
“What’re you doin’ in here anyway? Where’s Max?”
“He’s having a date night with Imogen, so I’m going to meet Pip here for a drink, but she had to work late.”
“You don’t work anymore?” he asks.
I frown. “My shifts got cut, which is probably a good thing because when Mom passed, and with everything with Max, things have been hard. Lucky she left me a little money, but I’ll be looking again soon.”
“Got a job for you here, anytime.”
I beam. “Well thanks. Now don’t avoid the subject; talk to me.”
“My story isn’t a good one, and it’s something you really don’t want to hear.”
“You wouldn’t know unless you try me.”
He studies me. “You mean you wanna hear how I got sold to a slave farm, where I was stuck for close to ten fucking years? How I can’t hold a relationship to save my life and have to fight because otherwise I can’t sleep at night?”
I flinch. “Rainer . . .”
He shrugs. “Told you, my story isn’t pretty.”
“I’m sorry.”
He reaches over, patting my hand. “Don’t be. Want another drink?”
I nod and watch as he prepares one. A gorgeous brunette comes up to the counter, and she catches my eye because she walks up, hesitates, then walks away. A minute later, she comes back up. This goes on until finally Rainer notices her and asks her if she wants a drink. She stares at him, with big, beautiful green eyes, and it looks as if he just ripped her heart out.
He studies her, and then nods, as if to hurry her up. She flicks her eyes to me, and she’s got rosy cheeks, as if she’s embarrassed. She’s a truly beautiful girl, with thick, long brown hair. It flows down her back in loose curls. She’s only tiny, pixie-like even, and is busty at the same time as being quite thin. She’s got big, almost doey green eyes and big pink lips.
“Can I get you something?” Rainer asks.
She stares at him, and I have no idea how he’s missing the hurt in her eyes.
“No, ah, no, it’s fine.”
She turns and runs out, but I’m too curious. I stand up and rush over, stopping her before she reaches the door. She turns to me when I catch her wrist, and she’s got tears in her eyes. “Hey, are you okay?” I ask her.
“Ah, I’m sorry, do I know you?”
Her voice is like silken honey. She’s adorably cute.
“I just saw that you we
re upset when Rainer was rude. I wanted to see if you were okay?”
“You know Rainer?”
“Yeah, do you?”
She looks over to him, with longing in her eyes. “I thought I did.”
Then she disappears.
Well, now I’m curious.
I’d thought Pippa was Rainer’s story, but it would appear I’m wrong.
EPILOGUE
“Where are we going?” I laugh, tugging at the blindfold Max put on.
“Keep it on, Blue Belle, or I’ll spank you.”
I snort. “How romantic.”
“I never claimed this was going to be a romantic date. Now keep it on.”
“Seriously, where are we going? It’s so dark.”
He reaches over, taking my hand. “Trust me, yeah?”
“Are you going to take me and dump my body in a lake or something?”
He laughs. “Because that would be romantic.”
I grin and he flicks my chin.
“Chill out, kid, it’ll be great.”
“Remember, you have to sleep with me at night, Max.”
He chuckles. “I guess I better re-think the plastic ring I got you as a gift.”
“You’re a jerk.”
He squeezes my hand. “A fuckin’ good-looking jerk.”
I roll my eyes even though he can’t see it.
He drives us farther and it seems as if we’re going over a dirt road. We bounce, and I’m sure I can hear rocks flicking up against the truck. After another fifteen minutes, he finally pulls up and tells me to sit still as he gets out. I hear him shuffling about, opening and closing doors, and then he finally pulls me out of the car.
He leads me over to the back and stands me still, reaching around and pulling the blindfold off. It takes me a few minutes, but when I realize where we are, my heart bleeds with joy and emotion. It’s the exact spot he brought me when we first made love all those years ago. In the back of his truck we lay under the stars and he changed my world.
“Max,” I rasp.
“You remember?”
“Of course I remember.”
He jumps up into the back of the truck and reaches out for me. I take his hand and he helps me up. He’s got a picnic basket and a few candles, but mostly our light comes from the full, beautiful moon shining through the trees. I fight back my tears as we sit, staring up at the same sky that blessed us on the night we made everything real.
“Remember how nervous I was that night?” I breathe.
“I was too, believe it or not.”
“I’m as nervous as that now, Max,” I say, turning to him. “I feel like I’m rediscovering you all over again.”
He turns to me and reaches over, curling his hand around the back of my neck and bringing me in close. “I have a lot of shit to say to you, and I think it needs to be said before we start this for real again. The first of those things is I’m so fucking sorry, baby. For the way I treated you, for the things I did, for the money I took. I was suffering and you tried to help, but I pushed you away. I can’t change that, but I’m sorry, from the bottom of my soul.”
“I know you are,” I say, cupping his jaw. “And I’m sorry too, for not fighting harder, for not realizing something was wrong.”
“It’s in the past now, but I want you to know that’s where it’ll stay. I hurt you, you hurt me, but I won’t ever do it again. I’ll fight every day, for the rest of my life, to give you the life I promised you when I made love to you in this exact spot all those years ago.”
I lean forward, bringing his lips to mine. “I love you, Max. I’ve loved you since the day you pushed me over.”
He chuckles. “I didn’t push you, Blue Belle. I tripped you.”
I smile. “Same difference.”
“You wanna know what made me fall in love with you?”
I shake my head.
“Your eyes. It’s always been your eyes. The minute I saw them, I knew that I had to have you, that I had to see them as much as I could for the rest of my life because they captivated me. They spoke to me, and even now, they’re the entrance to your soul, and without it, I feel empty. Like I have nothing to breathe for.”
A tear trickles down my cheek. “Stop being sappy. You’re killing me.”
He smirks, pulling me close and kissing me hard.
“I can’t ask you to marry me, because I already have that. I can’t give you life, because we’ve already created that. I can’t take your virginity, because I own it, but I can give you a moment back again. A moment that started a long, beautiful, hard and crazy journey for us. Will you let me do that?”
“Are you asking me if I’ll let you lay me down to make love to me in the back of your truck, under the stars?”
He grins. “Heck yeah, I am.”
I wrap my arms around his neck. “Well, gee, Max, you didn’t have to feed me all that nonsense to get me into bed. All you had to do was ask.”
He throws his head back and laughs, then pulls me down onto the soft rug he laid out in the back of his truck. I roll to my side and I press my forehead to his, cupping his jaw. This has always been our way of expressing our love, and nothing has changed. I close my eyes and breathe him in, thanking God for bringing him back to me.
Eventually, we roll to our sides and look up at the stars that created our worlds once, a long time ago, and now they’re doing it all over again. Only this time, they’re creating it stronger and with an unbreakable foundation that nothing will penetrate.
Not this time.
This time, I’m keeping him.
THE END
*~*FLAWED LOVE*~*
All rights reserved. This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any form without prior written permission of the publisher, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution, circulation or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly. Thank you for respecting the work of this author.
FLAWED LOVE
Copyright © 2015 Bella Jewel
FLAWED LOVE is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places and events portrayed in this book either are from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, establishments, events, or location is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
As always, my heartfelt thanks to every single blogger, reader and author that has supported my journey, from reading my books, to sharing them, to raving about them, to being there for me. Thank you. My career would be nothing without any of you.
A huge thanks to Kylie from Give Me Books for organizing my reveals and blitzes. You do such an amazing job. No matter how many times I use you, I am always blown away by how efficient you are. Nothing is ever a drama. Thank you for giving me so much support.
A massive thanks to LM Creations for this gorgeous cover. Every time we work together, I swear it just gets better and better. These covers are breathtaking, so thank you. Also to Golden from FuriousFotog and his GORGEOUS models for always having a picture on hand for me to create this beauty. Thank you for always being there to help me out. You’re all amazing.
To Lauren, my epic editor. You are the best thing since sliced bread, no lie. You seriously are the best person EVER to work with. You are quick and your notes always make me laugh. No one else could ever keep up with my writing pace, but you always nail it.
To my girls, Belle and Sali. I f’ing love you so hard. There’s not a day that goes by that I’m not thankful to have you in my life. From our crazy vox messages, to the amazing times we have together. You girls are my glue, but you already know that.
And of course, to my admin, MJ, for ALWAYS keeping my page running beautifully
. I couldn’t do it without you, girly. I love your teasers and your passion. Thank you for taking the time out of your life to help this poor girl keep everything running.
And, last but certainly not least, to my loyal readers. To each and every one of you that picks up my books and give me a chance. To the reviews you write, good or bad. To the time you take to make me a better person. You make this real for me; never stop giving such love and passion. You make our journey so amazing.
DEDICATION
To everyone who has lost love and been lucky enough to find it again. To second chances and the epic romances that sweep us off our feet.
PROLOGUE
MALI – THEN
“R is for Rainer, handsome as can be, A is for asshole, one he can be, I is for idiot, yeah, you know it’s true, N is for nerdy, you’re a little of that too, E is for energetic, there’s no holding you back, R is for rebel, one day I’ll fight back.”
Rainer rolls his eyes and throws the candy he was sucking at my head. I duck with a laugh and reach down to the dirty wooden floor, picking it up and tossing it back at him. He catches it and throws it back into his mouth, after dusting it off.
“God, you’re sick!” I scrunch up my nose. “I could have done anything with my hands . . .”
I lift my fingers and wriggle them, and Rainer winks at me.
“No worse than I’ve had from you before, Emy.”
“Well, that’s a good point.”
He swings his legs and jumps down from my tree house, glancing back up at me when he’s done. I grin down at him, tossing a piece of candy at his head again. He catches and pockets it, then winks at me.
“Where are you going, Rai Rai?”
He shrugs. “To cause trouble. You coming?”
“Um, hell yes.”
I jump down from the tree house and run after him, bumping my shoulder into his when I reach his side.
Rainer and I have been best friends since we were twelve. I’m seventeen now, and he’s eighteen, but we’re still as close as we were the day we met. It was a typical boy-meets-girl kind of story—only instead of just ‘meeting’ we preformed an epic ass-kicking together. I was defending a young nerdy boy in our class from a pair of bullies who were pushing him around. Rainer saw what was happening and got involved, helping me out.