We became friends and that was that.
We’re polar opposites. He’s handsome and the most popular boy in school. I’m a complete tomboy, and all my friends are, well, boys. Mostly nerdy boys. We’re the most unlikely duo, but it works for us. He’s in his final year of high school, even though he’s already eighteen. Rainer lives just up the road, so our friendship blossomed and grew over the years, especially considering we’re forever getting up to mischief together.
Rainer’s father is a drunk, and his mother left when he was really young, so I think I’m the only thing he’s got. My family is typical of the rich—posh and stuck up. My father owns a massive legal firm and my mother reaps the benefits of the cash he brings in. We live in a huge house, with pretty things, and I want none of it. My sister, Evangeline, however, can’t get enough and is as spoiled as my mother.
“Let’s go and steal ice cream from the crazy old guy at the park again,” Rainer suggests.
“Do you have to be such a rebel?” I scoff. “Besides, I don’t want ice cream.”
“What’s wrong with you? Everyone loves ice cream.”
“Not cool bad-ass chicks like me.”
“You’re about as cool as a pool full of lava.”
I laugh. “That was kind of mean, Rai Rai.”
“Stop calling me that. I’ll lose my reputation.”
I reach up and flick his earlobe. “What reputation?”
“Don’t insult my epic-ness.”
I roll my eyes. “All right, Rainer.” I grin. “Let’s go steal ice cream.”
“I knew there was a reason we’re friends.”
I laugh, and he throws an arm around my shoulder.
An epic friendship indeed.
CHAPTER ONE
NOW – MALI
“Oh my God, Mali, what the fuck are these shoes?”
I roll my eyes at my roommate’s screeching. A moment later she appears in my doorway, holding up a pair of black, strappy pumps that I stole from my sister, Eva, when I visited my parents last night. Of course Eva doesn’t know; that’s the best part about it.
“They’re Eva’s.” I grin. “But as far as she knows, they’re still in her closet...”
“Oh, you’re bad. Can I wear them tonight?”
I shrug. “They’re all yours.”
She holds them against her chest like they’re fine china. “Oh my God, I’m so excited. What dress should I wear?”
She could wear a sack and look awesome. Jemima “Mimi” Watson is a diva, a princess and a bad-ass babe all wrapped in one, tiny bow. She’s petite, even more so than me, with long platinum blond hair—fake, of course—and the prettiest face I’ve seen on a girl since . . . ever. She’s got big, blue eyes, full pink lips and lashes that make men drool.
She has an attitude to match.
“Any of your dresses will work,” I say. “Are you sure you want to come tonight?”
“You just found out the man you used to know, used to adore, who took your virginity and was your best friend, is back in town. Um, hell yes I want to come.”
“Apparently he’s been in town a while, I ran into an old friend of ours from high school and she told me he was back in town. I don’t know how I missed that.”
She shrugs. “You weren’t looking, and it’s been a long time. How long since you last saw him?”
“More than ten years. I don’t even know where he went.”
“Then it should be an epic reunion.”
I turn and stare at myself in the mirror. “Do you think he’ll recognize me?”
“Of course.”
I snort. “You have no idea what I used to look like. Honestly, I was like a mini sassy boy.”
She giggles. “I can’t imagine it, but I believe you.”
I study my face. I’m certainly not the girl Rainer probably remembers. I used to have short-ish blond hair, I wore glasses, and I was such a tomboy I wouldn’t be caught dead in a dress. It was jeans, baggy tees and chucks. Now . . . God, now I am the complete opposite. My hair is dark chocolate brown and long, flowing down my back in curls. And I wear a lot of dresses.
Plus I don’t have glasses anymore.
Still, my face has to be the same . . . right?
I snort to myself. It’s not the same, not even close. It’s gotten finer, my lips have gotten fuller, and my eyes, I swear, are bigger. They’re still the same shade of green, though.
“You’re panicking. I can see it in your face,” Mimi says, stepping up beside me.
“What if he doesn’t want to see me? The last time we saw each other . . .”
I close my eyes, pushing the memory back. It wasn’t a nice one. It was a hard time, and Rainer had changed so much. He was doing bad things that he refused to tell me about, and things between us deteriorated. Hurt, we kept on fighting but one day he just disappeared. I never saw him again. I never even knew where he went.
It hurt like hell.
“The past is the past. I’m sure he hasn’t held a grudge for that long.”
I nod, feeling nervous all over again.
“Come on, let’s get you dressed to impress.”
Mimi swings me around, and rifles through my closet until she finds the perfect dress for me, or so she states. Then she pulls out a pair of sexy black heels and a curling iron. She gets to work on my hair, brushing it and curling it, then running some oil through it so it shines. The dress she chose is cute, but sexy. It’s tight around the bust, showing good cleavage, but it flares out from the waist. The entire thing is black, with a lace underlay.
Mimi wears a scorching little red number, and pairs it with the shoes she stole from me that I stole from my sister. She leaves her blond hair down, too, only hers is tack straight. We put a light dusting of makeup on, and then collect our purses. We’re ready to go, and the closer we get to seeing Rainer again, the more I want to vomit in my mouth.
But he was my friend once—surely nothing has changed.
~*~*~*~
The bar Rainer owns is packed for its size. There are people mingling outside, lining up nearly around the block, and when we get in, it’s full. People are dancing, and sitting at booths, not to mention playing countless games of pool. Mimi starts wiggling her ass the moment we’re past the front entrance, and I follow behind her, my heart in my throat as I let my eyes scan the space.
I don’t see him.
We go to the bar and order a drink, and still, I don’t see him. Maybe we got the wrong place? I swallow the drink back and take another one, then I join Mimi on the dance floor as we kill time. I try to picture the Rainer I remember in my head, and it’s hard to think of him as a man. When I saw him last, he was twenty and only just starting to change from teenage boy to man.
He’d be over thirty now.
I picture him in my head, with his dark brown eyes and long, dark hair. He always kept his hair around his shoulders, like the rebel he was. He was tall, and he always had a good amount of bulk, even at a young age. He had the most amazing bronze skin, giving him a mysterious, exotic look. Rainer was beautiful, the kind of man to ruin you for any other male.
“Can you see him?” Mimi yells into my ear.
“No,” I call back.
“We’ll dance until he shows up. This bar is great.”
I nod and we dance, and dance, and dance. What seems like hours pass, and still there’s no Rainer. I’ve gone through three drinks and two bottles of water, because this dance floor is making me crazy sweaty. I wave to Mimi and point to an empty booth. She nods and gives me the thumbs up, and I make my way over to it, dropping down on my ass and sighing with relief. It’s much cooler here.
I sit at that booth for another hour, when finally a man appears at the bar. I’m way too far back to see if it’s Rainer or not, but whoever it is, he’s massive. I stand and push through the crowd, keeping my eye on the guy who is grinning at a pretty, strawberry-blond woman, who is sitting by herself on a barstool. My heart starts pounding as I near, wondering if i
t’s him.
The anticipation is killing me.
When I’m close enough to study his face, I do just that. I look at him, and I know, I just know. I suck in a shaky breath, because oh, oh wow, he’s so . . . breathtaking. Rainer always had good looks, but now . . . God, now he’s panty-melting handsome, dangerous and rugged, sexy as sin. The more I study him, the more my heart pounds.
He’s mesmerizing.
His eyes, which were always dark brown, seem almost black in this light. His hair is cropped a lot shorter than I ever remember and is now only a few inches long, the bottom curling around his collar. It’s messy, and sexy. He’s got a cover of two-day growth on his chin and around his mouth, and his face is so masculine it almost hurts to look at him.
His body, oh God, his body, it’s double the size I remember. He’s taller and so much bigger. He’s a mass ball of muscle. His biceps are bulging from his black tee, and his forearms are probably bigger than my legs. He’s ripped. Hardcore. I don’t realize I’m tearing up until I feel a subtle burn behind my eyelids. I take a deep, shaky breath, and walk over to the bar, stopping next to the strawberry-blond girl he was just talking to.
She’s watching me, but I’m too busy watching him. My lip is trembling and my eyes are wide as I look at the only person I ever shared my soul with. God, I’ve been through so much with this man, and I honestly thought I’d never see him again, and yet here I am, right in front of him.
He slides the girl a drink, smiling at her, showing two dimples that I remember so well. Then he turns his eyes to me. I wait for it, my heart pounding, my skin clammy, and my eyes big and round. I wait for him to recognize me, but it never comes. He just stares at me, his face blank, absolutely no recognition in his depths.
“Can I get you something?”
It feels as if someone has slapped me hard across the face. He doesn’t know who I am. I spent more than seven years being his best friend, he took my virginity, and he doesn’t know who I am. My face must register the hurt, but he seems not to notice. I don’t know what to do, what to say or how to feel. I only just manage a croaky, “No, ah, no. It’s fine.”
Then, with a broken heart and a body full of shame, I turn and rush out. The girl who was sitting at the bar follows me, and catches me at the entrance. Maybe she’s his girlfriend—who knows? “Hey, are you okay?” she asks, her blue eyes full of concern.
“Ah, I’m sorry, do I know you?”
She shakes her head. “I just saw that you were upset with Rainer. I wanted to see if you were okay?”
I was right; she knows Rainer but what she means to me, I have no idea. Still, I ask, “You know Rainer?”
She nods. “Yeah, do you?”
I look over to him, already talking with another person, as if I was never there. Nothing prepared me for this. I thought he’d be angry, maybe even excited, but never in a million years did I think he’d forget me. “I thought I did.”
Then I turn and run out.
CHAPTER TWO
THEN – MALI
“Give me a ride, jerk-face,” I snap, slapping Rainer’s truck with my open hand.
“Hell no. You’ll kill my cool, woman.”
I cross my arms and tap my foot. Rainer just grins at me.
“You’re seriously going to make me walk home?” I say, jumping up and leaning through the window.
He puts a hand to my forehead and pushes me out. “Hell yes I am. I’m taking Missy home.”
“Missy is a ho.”
He winks at me. “Good for me then.”
“You’re a piglet. Come on, Rai, I don’t wanna walk! You can poke Missy anytime.”
He snorts. “Down, tiger. I have business to take care of.”
I huff and jump off his truck, turning just in time to see Missy approaching. She’s the prettiest girl in school, so of course she’s in love with Rainer, considering he’s the best-looking guy in school. At least to everyone else but me, anyway. Okay, that’s kind of a lie; I can admit he’s good looking. Horribly so. Damn him. The older and more popular he gets, the more I feel like an ugly little boy next to him.
I’m no Missy.
Is her hair even real? I don’t think so. It looks fake blonde, like the yellow type, but it’s long and flowy. It’s her body and her face that get men. She’s got big knockers, which are most certainly fake. I heard a rumor that her parents paid for them. She’s all ass and tits. Her face is pouty, with big lips and giant brown eyes. She’s like a doe-eyed little dear, when really she’s as loose as a horny dog.
“Better get walking, Nerdy Turdy.” She smirks at me as she steps up to Rainer’s truck. “It’s going to rain.”
“Best you jump in then, Spastic Plastic. I wouldn’t want you to melt.”
Rainer snorts from the truck and her lips pout as she glowers at me. She swings the door open and I blow Rainer a dramatic kiss. He winks at me, and I turn before I can witness him suck-facing with Missy. Walking home it is. Fine by me. I probably need the exercise after the eight doughnuts I had today. Damn their doughy goodness.
I start down the main street, backpack slung over my shoulder. I’m wearing my chucks today, thank God, because there’s no way I could walk this far in anything else. My jeans are the oldest pair I have, and the shirt is one I stole from Rainer when he grew out of it. He’s got mega muscles now, the giant stud. My hair is shorter than I would like, but hey, who’s complaining? It’s low-maintenance.
I, unlike Missy, have real blond hair.
“Yo, Ems.”
I turn and see one of my close friends, Kenny, running towards me. He’s got his backpack over his shoulders and it bounces with every step. His long blond hair is flying around the in wind, and he keeps pushing his glasses up on his nose because they’re sliding down. He’s adorably gross.
“What’s up, K-dog?”
He stops when he reaches me, drops his hands to his knees, and starts panting.
“Dude, you need to get fit, seriously. You just ran, what, five meters?”
“Bite me, Em,” he grunts, straightening. “What the hell are you making me run for? Where’s Rainer?”
“Getting STDs with Missy.”
He wrinkles his nose. “Fucking gross.”
I snort. “Yeah, my thoughts exactly. I’m walking home, so if you wanna join you better stop that panting.”
“Dammit, you have my phone. Otherwise I wouldn’t be enduring this hell.”
I hook my arm through his. “Don’t be a hater. How was school?”
He shrugs, studying the side of my face with his light green eyes. “Are you wearing makeup?”
“No,” I snap, rubbing at my eye.
I am wearing mascara, but I couldn’t apply it properly, so I only put it on one eye. It wasn’t my finest moment. I don’t even know why I’m wearing it. I guess . . . well, there’s this guy . . . God who am I kidding? Most of the guys think I’m a dude.
“You so are,” he teases. “Who are you trying to impress?”
“I put it on one eye. It was an experiment.”
He shoves me with his shoulder. “Spill, Ems.”
I sigh. “Fine. I might have a crush.”
He whoops loudly. “There’s hope for you yet.”
“Eat me, dickhead.”
“Don’t be so mean.” He grins. “Now spill. Who are you checking out?”
I can tell Kenny anything. He’s been my friend all through high school. Not the kind of friend Rainer is, but close.
“It’s Jack.”
He wiggles his eyebrows. “No shit?”
“Yeah, but he’ll never notice me.”
He stops and swings me around with long, bony fingers. “Why not? You’re pretty.”
I blink. “Did you just call me pretty?”
He shrugs. “You are. So what?”
“I look like a man.”
He grunts. “Because you want to. If you wore a dress, and didn’t act like a tomboy, you’d look like a very pretty girl. Prettier than Missy.?
??
“Now you’re just being mean.”
He chuckles and throws his arms around my shoulders, walking beside me again.
“So, tell me about Jack. Have you spoken to him?”
“No,” I mumble. “I don’t even think he knows I exist.”
“Then make him know you exist!”
“That’s not possible.”
“It is. Wear something sexy.”
I scoff. “I don’t own anything sexy.”
He tilts his head back to the sky and rolls his eyes. “Then find something. Come on, if you want him to notice you, then you have to make the effort. Do you want to die a virgin?”
“Shut it, douche. You’re more likely to die a virgin than me.”
He grunts. “Probably.”
“Anyway, let’s not talk about it. Jack will never notice me—end of story.”
“If you say so,” he sings.
Bloody Kenny.
~*~*~*~
My window slides up and a booted foot comes through, followed by another, followed by Rainer’s big body. I’m on my bed, eating popcorn and watching Top Gun. I glance over and see Rainer turn and slide the window shut. Then he kicks off his boots and throws himself onto my bed. His hand goes out and takes some popcorn, and he fluffs some pillows behind his head and settles in.
“If you’re wet, or dirty, or sex stained, I’ll kick your ass, Rainer Torrence.”
He glances at me from the corner of his eye. “Sex stained?”
“Yeah, from slut-face. I mean, Missy.”
He grins at me. “Are you jealous, Emy?”
“Am I jealous for not having a bank of STDs?”
He chuckles. “Yeah, right. I get you.”
“Why are you here? I thought you’d be riding the pony all night long.”
He laughs, tossing a piece of popcorn at me. “I’m not the cuddling type.”
“So you only have one round in you? I’m sad for you, Rai.”
He wraps an arm around my neck, putting me in a headlock. “I’ve got plenty of rounds, smart-ass.”