“Just sit, yeah? Have some water and I’ll take you home. I’m done for the night.”
He shoves a bottle of water at me. I don’t know where he got it, but I don’t want it.
“I don’t want a ride with you!” I hiss.
He studies me. “I’m sorry. Have I pissed you off in some way?”
I grind my teeth. I’m being an asshole, I know that, but I’m hurt. I didn’t want a lot, I didn’t expect a lot—hell, I prepared myself for him hating me, but I never ever expected he’d have forgotten who I am.
“No,” I mumble. “Sorry.”
“Look, you’ve been drinking. Let me take you home.”
“Okay,” I say, putting up a hand. “All right.”
He nods, and extends a hand. “My name is Rainer. You are?”
I never thought about my name. Oh God. If I say Emalie he’ll surely click, and for some, strange reason, I don’t want to give him that. My pride is too strong. He always called me Emy, so that gives me only one option.
“Mali,” I say, taking his hand and fighting back a shiver as warmth floods me.
“Mali,” he murmurs, rolling it around on his tongue. “That’s an interesting name.”
“So is Rainer.”
He gives me a sexy, lazy, half-grin. “So it is. Come on, kid.”
Kid.
Oh God.
I force a smile and follow him to a big, black truck. It’s a lot like the one he used to drive. He opens the door for me and I climb in. He goes around the other side and starts it up, turning on the cooling. I’m sure most people would question my sanity, getting in the car with him, but he’s not a stranger. But I’m the only one who knows that.
“So have you lived around here long, Mali?” he asks, pulling out.
“No,” I lie. “Not long.”
“You work?”
“Yeah, at a coffee shop downtown.”
“Nice.”
“What about you? Have you lived here all your life?”
Stop, Mali. Stop now.
His face goes a little harder. “I did for a while, but then I went away for a few years. I’ve only been back about two.”
“Where’d you go?”
He stares straight ahead. “Not somewhere you’d like to hear about.”
Oh my God. Did he go to prison? What if something really awful happened, and he’s blocked out his past? Could it be so simple? Could it be that whatever bad road he took before we parted ways all those years ago, took him somewhere dangerous? Maybe that would explain why he left. It would also explain him forgetting me.
“I have good listening ears,” I point out.
He grins. “I’m sure you do.”
He’s not going to tell me.
That’s okay.
I’ll learn what happened to him, and maybe then I can figure out how to fix this.
CHAPTER FOUR
THEN – MALI
“He’s looking at you. He’s totally looking at you!” Kenny whispers into my ear, really, really loudly.
“Dude, that’s not subtle. I think the whole cafeteria heard you!”
“No,” he whisper-yells. “I’m whispering.”
“You’re screaming, just in a hushed tone,” I snap. “Now stop.”
“No way; he’s watching you. He’s totally watching you.”
“And now he probably thinks I’m nuts because you’re whisper-yelling!”
I don’t want to turn because I’m afraid Kenny might be right. Maybe Jack is looking at me. My heart flutters, and I know my cheeks are redder than usual.
“Look. Smile at him; do something before he turns away,” Kenny urges, pinching my arm.
“Did you just pinch me?” I cry, jerking my arm away.
“God, you have no idea, do you? Turn around and flash your damned smile at him, girl!”
I scowl at Kenny, but turn and glance at Jack. He’s standing across the cafeteria and he’s definitely watching me. Jack is a different kind of handsome. He’s not as rugged and gorgeous as Rainer, but he’s got something beautiful going for him. His hair is sandy blond and messy, his eyes are slate grey, and he’s got flawless olive skin. He’s tall and muscular, but on the leaner side. He’s not bulky.
I smile. I do it before I can chicken out. Jack’s brows go up. He scans me, and then he smiles back. Holy shit. He smiled back. I’m beaming as I watch him turn and walk out with his friends.
“Holy shit,” Kenny squeaks. “He just smiled at you.”
“Who smiled at her?”
I jerk and turn to see Rainer standing behind me, eyes narrowed.
“Jack. He totally just eye-fucked her!” Kenny claps happily.
“It was a smile, Kenny, not sex,” I scoff.
“It was close enough.”
“Told you he was a jerk,” Rainer grunts.
“And so are you, but here we are.”
His eyes flash to mine and his glare challenges me. I hold my own and don’t back down. Rainer doesn’t choose who I date. I certainly get no say so in whom he pokes for fun.
“Thought I warned you about him,” he says, stepping closer, arms crossed over his big chest.
“Okay, caveman,” I mutter, glaring at him. “No offence, but I don’t get any say in who you date . . . so . . .”
He keeps his arms crossed.
I sigh.
“Whatever. Come on, Kenny, we have to get to class.”
“Don’t do it, Emy,” Rainer warns as I walk away.
“See ya, Rai Rai. Call you later.”
He mutters something at me but I don’t stop, I exit the cafeteria with Kenny and we head off to class. My next class is with him, but after that I’m on my own. I wander down the halls, off in my own little world. So much so I don’t realize that Jack is right behind me until his warm hand curls around my upper arm. I turn and jerk in surprise. I never thought he’d actually approach me.
“Hey.” He smiles. “Emalie, right?”
Oh God.
“Ah . . .” Shit, shit, shit. Get it together. “Yes.”
“I’m Jack.”
“I know,” I blurt, then my cheeks begin to burn.
God, I’m way cooler than this. What the hell is wrong with me?
Jack flashes a killer grin, dimples and all. Gosh he’s good looking.
“I was just wondering if you might like to go out with me?”
Say what? Is he serious? He wants to go out with me? He could have any girl here. Why the hell would he want to go out with me?
“Ah, is this a joke?” I say, narrowing my eyes.
He crosses his arms, actually looking offended. “Why would it be a joke?”
“Have you seen yourself? And have you seen me?”
“Yes, and yes.”
“I . . . you could have anyone,” I protest, a little lamely.
“I’m askin’ for a date.” He smiles warmly. “Not marriage.”
I laugh nervously. “Well, yeah, okay then.”
His smile gets bigger. “You got a phone number I can have?”
I swing my backpack around, nearly hitting him in the face. I laugh nervously again, and pull out my cell phone. I recite the number and he gives me his.
“I’ll call you. We’ll work something out.”
“Okay,” I breathe.
“Later, Emily.”
Emily. No one calls me Emily. My name is either shortened to Emy or left as Emalie, but never spelled differently. It’s kind of nice. I flush.
“Later.”
Yippee!
~*~*~*~
I smile down at my phone as my fingers glide across the keys in response to Jack’s latest text. We’ve been texting for the last week, and the more I talk to him, the more I like him. He’s funny, and smart, and so easy to talk to. We’re going on a date tomorrow night, and I’m over-excited about it. I can’t wait.
“Who the fuck do you keep texting?”
I look up from my phone and over to Rainer, who’s driving me home. He’s gla
ring at me, but he can’t do it for long as he focuses back on the road.
“Jack.”
“Seriously?” he grunts. “I warned you about him.”
“He’s a nice guy, Rainer.”
“He’s a jerk.”
I sigh and look over to him. “We’re friends, right? We’ve been friends for a lot of years. I’m not your girlfriend, but I do respect what we have enough to listen to you. However, this time you’re wrong. Can you drop it, please?”
“Whatever. And what the fuck are you wearing?”
I glance down at the new pair of skinny jeans I begged Mom to buy me. I don’t know, I guess I want to look nice for Jack. Though I’m still sporting a semi-baggy tee. And my chucks. Always my chucks.
“These are jeans. Get with the new age, dude.”
“They’re painted on.”
I throw my phone into my purse and turn, crossing my arms. “What the hell, Rai? You’re being a dickhead. Can we not do this? I’ll date whoever the fuck I want.”
He pulls the truck over suddenly and turns to me. “I’m your friend. I’ve known you longer than any of those fuck knuckles. I’m not going to let some douchebag fuck you and leave you with a broken heart.”
“And I love you for that,” I say, my voice softer now. “But I’m seventeen, Rainer. I know what’s right and wrong. I’m not just going to let him dive in on the first date.”
His brown eyes narrow. “He’s bad news.”
“So is Missy, but I’m not telling you to stop.”
He grunts. “I’m a man. I can look after myself.”
“Yeah, well, I can look after myself too. Believe it or not. I know you’d rather I shack up with someone like Kenny, but I deserve better, and I like Jack.”
“I didn’t mean what I said the other night.” He sighs. “I was only tryin’ to look out for you.”
“By saying the best I can get is a greasy, nerdy geek? And don’t get me wrong, I adore Kenny, but that hurts, Rai.”
He runs a hand through his hair. “Fuck. Look, just be careful, okay? And don’t change who you are.”
“Who I am will never change.”
He points to the jeans.
“I’m allowed to care about how I look.”
“Yeah,” he says, pulling back onto the road. “Right.”
He’s angry with me, and I truly don’t know why. I say nothing as he pulls up to my house and stares straight ahead as I swing the door open and climb out. “You want to hang tonight?” I ask.
“No,” he grunts.
I sigh. “Okay, Rai.”
Then I shut the door and he speeds off.
Dammit.
Now I feel bad . . . and I don’t even know why.
CHAPTER FIVE
NOW – MALI
“This is it?” Rainer asks, nodding at my apartment.
“Yeah,” I whisper, staring out the window.
I’m still drunk; I won’t lie. If I weren’t, I’d be scrambling out of this car right now. I turn and glance at Rainer, who has his eyes on my neck. Oh. My. God. He’s looking at me as if he wants to . . . he couldn’t . . . could he? His eyes slowly move up and meet mine, and I swallow the thick lump forming. Rainer is looking at me right now as if he wants to fuck me.
Fuck me.
My body breaks out in little tingles as I stare at his lips, and I decide I’m too drunk to care if he wants to fuck me or doesn’t. I want to fuck him. I’d do anything to taste those lips, to slide my mouth over that neck, to feel his cock inside me again. It’s been so long, and I was just a teenager back then. I’m a woman now, and he’s everything I need. He’s everything I’ve always needed.
“You should get out,” he says, his voice husky. “I’m not the good kind of man, Mali.”
I bite my bottom lip.
We sit in silence for a few minutes.
“How do you mean?” I finally say.
“I don’t do relationships; I do one-night stands. I fuck. I don’t ask names. If you keep looking at me like that, you’ll be on that list, and you’re too damned sweet to be someone’s fuck for a night.”
He’s wrong.
I want to be his fuck for a night.
“What makes you think I’m any different to you?” I say, unclipping my seatbelt and leaning over the chair. “What makes you think I don’t just want a one-night stand?”
His eyes flash and he reaches up, curling his fist into my hair. He jerks softly and I whimper. A low, throaty growl escapes his lips. “Out of the car. Now, kid.”
“No,” I breathe, sliding over the seat and straddling his lap.
He’s huge, so much bigger than I ever remember. His cock is pressing between my legs, rubbing against my heat just enough to cause the perfect friction. I meet his eyes and I can see he doesn’t want to fight.
“I’m not a good man. You hear me?”
“And I’m not a good woman.”
He makes a pained, throaty sound and presses his forehead against mine.
“I just want a night of fun, Rainer. If you’re willing to give it, I’m willing to take it.”
“I fuckin’ hate doing this.”
“No,” I say, reaching between us and grabbing the top button of his jeans. “You don’t. You offered me a ride home for a reason, and we both know what that reason is.”
“You’re beautiful,” he says, studying my face. “Fuck, I feel like I know you somehow.”
I freeze and turn my eyes away. He does know me; he just doesn’t recall it. Maybe something tragic really did happen to him, and that would explain his lack of memory. Or maybe I just never meant as much to him as I thought I did.
“Why did you look away?” he asks.
“I just want to fuck. Can we not make it any more complicated?” I say, my voice slightly shaky.
I reach into his jeans and curl my fingers around his cock. He hisses out through his teeth and his hand goes over, reaching into the glove compartment to pull out a condom. He holds my eyes as he takes his cock from my hand and slowly rolls it on. He’s big, thick and perfect. Just like he always was. I know how amazing this cock feels inside me.
I’ll never forget.
He reaches over to me and slides my dress up, his rough fingers grazing my thighs as the dress moves. Then he reaches for my panties. It’s not going to be easy to pull them off, considering I’m straddling him. He stares at them, then me, and with one hard jerk, the material tears and I’m pantiless. I gasp, but it’s quickly smothered when his fingers find my pussy.
I lean forward, wanting to taste him, wanting to remember how soft his lips are, but he turns his head away. “I don’t kiss, kid.”
“Have you got an infection or something?” I squeak.
“No, I just don’t do it.”
Okay. Well. Awkward.
I turn my face back and focus instead on his fingers sliding through my pussy. He’s soft, slow and delicate. His fingers, while rough, are working me over with such ease. He swirls my moisture around my clit, making it hard, making it ache. Then he uses his free hand to lift my hip so he can position his cock at my entrance.
I hold my breath.
He starts sliding me down over him. A gasp leaves my lips and quickly turns into a throaty moan as he fills me, stretching me, opening me to him. I’ve only had a few men since Rainer, and most were one-night stands. It’s been a good long time since I’ve been filled liked this. Rainer notices and lets out a low, raspy moan.
“You’re fucking tight,” he grunts. “Jesus.”
“It’s been a while,” I whisper, arching into him.
“Thought you said you like casual sex?”
I gasp as he jerks his hips up and fills me fully. “I do,” I breathe. “Oh God. Fuck. I do. It’s just been a while.”
“You don’t fuckin’ say,” he grinds out between his teeth. “Fuck. So fuckin’ good.”
Good. He thinks it feels good.
I put my hands on his shoulders, feeling his muscles bulging beneath my pa
lms. I want to massage them, to roam my hands over his big body until I’ve had my fix. I breathe him in and try to place his smell in my memory, in a place I’ll never forget. I never want to forget anything that happens between Rainer and I.
He uses my hips to move me up and down on his cock, and pleasure bursts through my body. I slap a hand against the truck window and let my head fall back, hair trailing down to touch his thighs. He frees one hand and captures my breast, rolling my nipple between his thumb and forefinger through the fabric of my dress. I whimper at the pleasure and start rocking harder and faster until I’m riding him so hard the seat creaks.
“Holy fuck,” he hisses. “I’m goin’ to come soon. Fuck, you ride hard.”
“So close,” I cry out, rocking my hips harder against his cock, grinding myself until I feel the orgasm hanging by a thread.
Rainer reaches down and finds my clit, giving it a few hard rubs and I explode around him. His name trails from my lips and I don’t even realize my hand is curled in his hair until the shivers stop and my vision clears. Rainer is still thrusting his hips upwards, so I keep the pace until I feel him thicken inside me and then he comes with a ragged grunt.
I release his hair and drop my hand from the window, seeing the steamy mark that quickly fades away. I take a few moments to catch my breath, and then I slide off him, putting myself back on the seat. I press my head back into it and close my eyes, placing a hand over my racing heart and staying like that until it calms down.
“You okay?” he asks, and my eyes flutter open.
“Ah,” I manage. “Yeah.”
He nods, tying the condom and shoving it in a plastic bag he finds on the ground beneath my feet. Then he pulls his jeans back in place and does them up, eyes not meeting mine. He really doesn’t know how to connect. It’s written all over him. Suddenly things are awkward, and it would appear he wants me to get out so he doesn’t have the horrible task of asking me to.
It hurts, but I plaster a smile on my face and lean down, grabbing my panties. “Right,” I say, pulling my dress down. “Thanks for the ride.”
He snorts a little bit, and I can’t help the laugh that bubbles up.
“I meant the ride home,” I say, swinging the door open. I get out and look back at him, and he’s watching me intently. “But the other ride was great too. See you around, Rainer.”