How to Keep Your Head When Everyone Wants to Put it on a Spike
by
Michael D. Britton
* * * *
Copyright 2012 by Michael D. Britton / Intelligent Life Books
Well, that’s the funny thing.
See, usually when the captain, Fred Raimes, asks me to lie for him, I don’t ask questions – I just spout whatever story he supplies me with, (save all related script-coms to my crunch drive – in case I need them later for C.Y.A. purposes) – then move ahead with my day.
But this time, for some reason, I asked.
“You want me to say what?”
Raimes stared out the huge viewport at the void of space, dotted with twinkling stars.
“Tell them it was a mistake – that it was only the first page of the document, and that you have no idea where it came from.”
“But,” I started, and was stopped cold in my tracks by the infamous Captain Raimes Glare of Doom.
After a beat, he said, quietly, “Tolman, I pay you to make problems go away – not to give me ‘buts’ or excuses. Take care of it.”
I nodded and left his office.
I walked all the way back to my work area, staring down at the memo on my handheld, oblivious to anything that may have been going on around me.
As I sat down in my soft swiveling armchair, the artificial gravity felt heavier than usual. From the built-in spout on my desk, I decanted some water into a gray foam cup, and sat back with a sigh.
This was going to be a very tricky one.
Spinning tales to sweeten trade deals, or bending the truth to get around various regulations was one thing.
Lying outright to an agent of the Global Caliphate – with a completely indefensible story – was another.
We had only eight hours before we reached Earth orbit.
I had that much time to come up with a story that would both save our ship . . . and save my head.
#
Let me backtrack to how this all came about.
The ship I work for – The Crown and Shield – is a commercial vessel, dedicated to delivering rare, quality goods – at a profit, of course.
We were on an expedition to the Belt, where many of our trading partners are based.
Captain Raimes got word from one of our off-ship agents, Paul Golden, that a supplier on Ceres was willing to provide us with a sneak peek at some government auction items.
These auctions are usually held via speed-bid – so an early look would help us line up our bids in advance, giving us a great advantage.
So, four weeks ago, Raimes sent me a file with the items listed – but he failed to let me know this was all supposed to be on the down-low.
Certain key data points were missing, so I did what I normally do – I contacted the Issuing Authority for clarification.
And that’s when things took a nose dive.
“Where did you get this file? This is a classified, pre-release data set,” was the response I got via script-com.
I didn’t know exactly where my file had come from, so I didn’t answer. Instead, I headed to the boss’s office.
“Uh, Captain?”
He didn’t look up from his screen. “What you need, Tolman?”
“Well, Captain, I’m a little confused. I got this file today for the Ceres auction, but it was incomplete. When I enquired about it, the response from the Issuing Authority was sort of strange.”
His eyes fixed on me. “You enquired about it?”
“Yes – I took the initiative to get all the information, so I could provide you with a comprehensive summary – like I always do.”
I won’t quote verbatim what happened next – a string of expletives and invective that made me cower on the inside.
“What – what’s the problem?”
“We aren’t supposed to have that file! Smithson in Procurement got it from a contact inside the Issuing Authority – it hasn’t been released yet.”
A little underhanded business dealing.
“Oh. Well, I didn’t know – I had no way of knowing.”
More cussing. “Fine. Contact Smithson and see what he has to say. We’re going into this bid with a partner – maybe we can just keep The Crown and Shield out of it, and the Issuing Authority won’t ask any more questions.”
I talked to Smithson. He had the same words for me as the Captain – stuff I won’t repeat here.
I hated being caught in the middle of this mess. And I hadn’t even done anything wrong – I just followed standard procedure. They were the ones running a shady deal, yet they were yelling at me. If they’d just left me a simple note – anything.
Since the actual auction was still a while out, I just got on with other business and tried to forget about it.
Eventually the file was released for real, and we started working on the deal with our partner – a multi-purpose salvage ship called the Mars Tether. It was going along fine, until I got the call from some guy named Clarence at the Issuing Authority.
“I’m the Auction Officer for Ceres Central,” he said. “I need to know where you got the item file that you received in advance.”
“Oh,” I said, surprised to hear the question. “Um, can I put you on hold for a moment? Thanks.”
I placed him on hold and walked swiftly to the captain’s office.
That’s when he told me to make up some stories.
By the time I got back to my desk, the call had been dropped. My comm buzzed again, but I didn’t answer it.
I needed to come up with a tale that would be believable, would keep The Crown and Shield in the clear, and would also deflect all blame from me.
I was not going to get thrown into the afterburner on this one.