I make a show of looking around the room. “There is? I don’t see one.”
“Stop trying to mess with my head. Mr. Mandel told me about your girlfriend.”
I feel my fists clench. “He told you? What else did he say?”
“So it’s true. What’s her name? What’s she like?”
I won’t say Joi’s name. I won’t say a word. I won’t pollute my memories of Joi by sharing them with the girl who’s been scheming to replace her.
“You don’t have to tell me,” Gwendolyn says when I refuse to answer. “I already know everything I need to know about this little sweetheart of yours.”
“Oh yeah? And what exactly is that?”
“I know that she’s not here. But I am. And I can help you. I care about you, Flick. I want to help you win your wager.”
Win? I clench my teeth while I wait for the rage to subside. That freckled f— must have told Gwendolyn about my father as well. “What can you do?” I ask when I’m able. “You’re just a student.”
“No—I’m the Dux. I can do things that the rest of you can’t.”
Lucas said the same thing last night. “Like what?”
“Well, let’s see. I can talk to Mr. Mandel whenever I like. I can keep a student from being expelled. I can leave the academy.”
“They let you go outside?” I butt in. That might prove useful.
“As long as I have Mr. Mandel’s permission. Sometimes he even lets me take a guest along. Don’t you see? I can make your time here a whole lot easier.”
“Thanks for the offer, but it hasn’t been all that bad so far.”
Gwendolyn’s voice drops to a whisper. “I may be able to help you graduate faster too.”
Now we’re getting somewhere. “How?”
She hesitates for a moment. “Mr. Mandel told me he’s worried that you’re not totally committed to the academy. He thinks you’re still in love with that girl out there.”
“Even if I were, what difference would it make?” I ask.
“We’re here to become new people, Flick. Mr. Mandel doesn’t believe that’s possible unless we let go of our pasts. It doesn’t matter how good your grades are. If he thinks you haven’t changed by September, he’ll keep you here for another year. But if we were a couple, Mr. Mandel would know that you’ve left everything out there behind.”
“Did he tell you to say that?”
“Of course not!” Gwendolyn’s blushing. But even if Mandel didn’t put the words in her mouth, he still knew she’d say them. That’s why he told her about Joi. This isn’t a way out. It’s a goddamned pop quiz.
I’ve proved I can kick ass in the classroom, but Mandel is telling me that’s not enough. I can’t have my revenge unless I give up everything else. Sleeping with Gwendolyn might earn me an early release, but it would come at too high a price. I’d have to betray the one person on earth that I love. It doesn’t matter that Joi wouldn’t know. I would. Mandel wants the last little piece of my soul, but he can go screw himself. I’ll show him that I can keep it and win.
“So you’re saying I’ll graduate this September if I agree to be your boy toy. Thanks but no thanks, Gwendolyn. I’m a thief, not a prostitute.”
“You make it sound sleazy, and it’s not!” Gwendolyn insists, looking wounded. You’d think I just drop-kicked a kitten. “Don’t you know that I’m crazy about you? I’ve been practically throwing myself at you since you moved upstairs. And you never say ‘no.’ All you do is give me the same sorry excuse. If you’re really not interested, just tell me. I swear I’ll back off!”
Gwendolyn’s been kind to me since I came up from the Suites. I have no idea why a girl like her would ever fall for someone like me. Maybe it’s all just an act, but if it’s not, I don’t want to hurt her. Mandel may have tricked her into delivering his message, but Gwendolyn’s not the one who deserves to be punished.
“There’s not a male on this planet who wouldn’t think you’re extremely interesting,” I offer vaguely. “Where did Mandel find a creature like you?”
Gwendolyn is inching toward me again. She thinks I’ve accepted her offer. “He had me released from juvie two years ago.”
“What were you in for?”
She doesn’t hesitate. “I killed a man who tried to molest me.”
That seems perfectly reasonable to me. I was worried it would be far worse. But when Gwendolyn moves to kiss me, I gently push her back.
“Not yet,” I say as nicely as possible.
Mandel can keep me locked up. He can deny me the proof for another year. But he can’t take Joi. I’ll probably be the academy’s top student in a matter of days. And I might not mind staying here a bit longer if life as the Dux is as sweet as it sounds.
The first thing I’ll do after I win the title is take a trip to the outside world. I won’t put Joi in danger. I won’t try to find her. But there’s one thing I’ve decided I can’t live without. Even though I’ll never see her again, I need to know Joi’s last name.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
* * *
FALLING FROM GRACE
The door opens, and I immediately glance back at the alarm clock on my dorm room desk. It still says ten minutes to eight. Time for breakfast. But that can’t be right. The atrium is dark. It must be the dead of night.
I step out onto the balcony and look up, expecting to see the moon hanging in the sky above. But the glass pyramid that spans most of the building’s roof is covered in snow. There could be a blizzard raging at this very moment—and I’d almost forgotten it was winter. I watch a few other students glance upward as they exit their rooms. Those who’ve been out a bit longer are leaning over the balcony’s railing.
I join the crowd. There’s something on the floor of the atrium, eight stories below. It looks like a rumpled pile of laundry surrounded by a pool of black liquid. Then I see a hand poking out of a sleeve, and I realize I’m looking at four twisted limbs and a torso. One of the students has jumped. His body covers most of the school motto. All it says now is emergo.
I know it’s a human being. I know I’m not dreaming. Dozens of other people are witnessing the very same scene. At least one person should be screaming or crying or shouting for help. But we’re all silent. The faces around me are completely inscrutable. They’ve spent the last month pretending to be thieves, drug dealers, and war profiteers. One dead kid isn’t enough to shock them anymore.
I’ve wondered what a moment like this would feel like. It doesn’t feel real.
“It’s starting early this semester.” I hear Lucas’s voice.
I’d like to ask him if this has happened before. I want to know how many students have committed suicide since he’s been at the academy. But I don’t dare say a word. Caleb is standing just a few feet to my right. I raise my eyes to the ninth-floor balcony, just in time to see Gwendolyn take a quick glance at the scene below and then glide away.
“Who is it?” I ask Caleb.
“Who cares?” he says. “I bet Aubrey would be the first to go, and that’s not her. This is the second Beauty Pageant I’ve lost this year.”
• • •
The school-wide rankings are being posted this morning, and the elevators are packed with students on their way to the cafeteria. I’ve been told that no one ever misses breakfast on ranking days. But judging by the anxious expression on most of the faces, I doubt any Androids or Ghosts will be able to eat. Gwendolyn, on the other hand, looks positively bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. She’s waiting for me on the sixth-floor balcony. I’m impressed by her display of willpower. If I’d gotten here first, I wouldn’t have waited. I don’t even pause to ask if she knows which of our classmates just died.
The cafeteria seems even brighter than usual. The jumbo-size screen that’s been dark since the beginning of the semester has finally come to life. The only thing on it is a list of names. The academy’s students have been ranked from one to fifty-five. I’m number 2. Gwendolyn is still number 1.
“You
won,” I say as I stare at the screen.
“I’m sorry, Flick. Maybe you’ll be the Dux next time.”
If the competition were fair, I’d have the title right now. I’m number one in all of my classes. Which means Gwendolyn is number two in the ones that we share. She couldn’t have beaten me unless the rankings are rigged. I expected Mandel to play by the rules, but he denied me the title just to prove he’s in charge. He sent me Gwendolyn, and I pushed her away. I wouldn’t betray Joi. I couldn’t let go of that last little piece of my soul.
I’m trapped. I didn’t do what he wanted and Mandel took my title. The next time, he might do something much worse.
“I gotta go. I’ll see you in class,” I tell Gwendolyn. It’s the most I can muster.
I need to escape. I need to get back to my room before I lose control. But there’s someone blocking my path. Ella. I don’t recall seeing her recently, even though we’re both taking the Fundamentals of Business. She spends most of her free time shut up in her room, trying to study her way out of the Androids.
“Did you see?” She sounds spooked. Ella, the girl who shot her uncle four times in the head, is scared.
I glance back at the rankings and search for her name. She’s sixteenth. Not good enough to be a Wolf, but not a bad showing for a newbie with no formal education. I’m about to say as much, but she shakes her head. Whatever she’s seen, I haven’t found it yet.
I start to scan the entire list, and I come to an abrupt halt at number 12. Ivan is officially a Wolf. Further proof that these rankings are utter bullshit. I’m not the only one who’s been screwed. If I were Ella, I’d be hurling food at the walls. But then I get to the bottom of the list, and I see why Ella’s too frightened to fight. Number 53 is Frances; 54 is Aubrey. Felix has taken last place. And suddenly it hits me so hard that I almost collapse. Felix was the kid who jumped.
“He told me yesterday that he was going home to Miami,” Ella whispers.
I can’t respond. I’m too busy filing through seven weeks of memories. Felix wanted out from the very beginning. Why would he kill himself right before he was supposed to leave? Yesterday he was planning to head back to Miami. Did he wake up this morning and realize that the only thing there would be a life turning tricks? At least he had something to go back to. There are kids here who’d have nothing. Like Aubrey . . . Oh shit.
“Hello, I’m Gwendolyn.” She’s holding out a hand to Ella.
“Ella.” I almost expect her to curtsy.
“Your ranking is very impressive,” Gwendolyn says. “Mr. Mandel thinks you’ll be in the top twelve soon. Maybe even by next semester.”
“He does?” I saw Ella smile on our first day in the Incubation Suites. Since then her face must have forgotten how. She’s doing her best. The corners of her mouth are turned up. I even see a few teeth. But it’s not a smile. It’s a rictus grin.
“Absolutely. It could be the first time that three students from the same Incubation Group all reach the top twelve. So we’re very excited. It’s a shame about Felix, though. I asked Mr. Mandel to give him a few weeks to work his way up from the bottom. But I guess the competition was just a little too much for him. Not everyone is as naturally gifted as you and Flick.”
“Thank you,” Ella gushes. I bet she’s already forgotten about Felix.
“I just call it like I see it,” says the Dux.
I escort Gwendolyn to a table where the rest of the Wolf pack has convened. She slides onto a stool next to Caleb, who’s busy licking his wounds. You’d think the guy was number 30 rather than third in the school. Gwendolyn immediately sets to work on Caleb’s injured ego. She’s barely listening when I announce I’m going for food. I slip out of the cafeteria and hurry up to the eighth floor. The timing isn’t ideal, but I doubt it ever will be. I need to find Aubrey as quickly as possible. The last time I spoke to her, she said she wouldn’t be leaving the academy. I know that hope can play tricks on a person’s mind. But now the truth has been posted for the whole school to see. Aubrey will be gone soon. Maybe even by the end of today. So I need to tell her what I wish I’d told Felix. That the world outside isn’t as dark as it seems. There’s someone who will help her. Aubrey doesn’t need to jump.
The Androids usually spend breakfast time in their rooms, cramming before classes begin. But today, the eighth floor is deserted. I stick close to the wall. No one on the balcony downstairs should be able to see me. When I reach Aubrey’s room, I’m certain I’m too late. The bed is made. The computer lid is closed. The bathroom door is wide open. I’ve never visited her room before, and I’m shocked to see a badly burned teddy bear resting against her pillows. Most kids have something—a picture, book, or memento from their previous lives. But Aubrey’s bear isn’t your typical keepsake. It’s lost an ear and one arm. The few patches of fur that aren’t charred are covered in grime. Maybe Aubrey rescued it from the fire that incinerated her parents. I guess I can understand why she wouldn’t want to throw it away. But I can’t fathom why she’d keep a foul thing like that on her bed.
I’m about to rush back down to the cafeteria when I hear a grunt in the bathroom. A single, gorilla-like grunt. I know what it means before my brain has time to translate it. I freeze, hoping I’m wrong, and then the sound of ripping fabric sends me sprinting for the bathroom door.
I can only see her legs. He’s crouching over her, one knee on either side of her slender hips. He hasn’t heard me come in. He’s too busy tearing the clothes off her body. Aubrey’s not kicking or screaming. I wonder if she’s already dead.
The demon takes over me, but even it knows better than to make too much noise. I grab the back of Ivan’s shirt and drag him off Aubrey. I’m glad to have the element of surprise working in my favor. I can feel how much weight he’s gained since the last time we fought—and every ounce of it is muscle. There’s not a single soft spot on his body. Still, I have little trouble shoving Ivan’s head down into the toilet bowl. His nose is an inch above the water. There’s no doubt in my mind that the hole at the bottom will be the last thing he sees.
“I warned you,” I growl in his ear. “I told you I’d kill you if you messed with Aubrey.”
“I’m number 12 now. I can do what I want.” He’s not scared, so I shove his face into the water and hold his head down.
“Don’t.” The whisper comes from behind me. My grip loosens momentarily, and Ivan’s head rises above the rim.
I hear him suck in air, but he doesn’t cough. He was holding his breath and waiting for me to lose my nerve. “What are you doing?” he demands. “She’s a Ghost.”
That’s the question everyone will be asking. They’ll want to know why I skipped breakfast to rescue an outcast.
“I’m number 2 at this school,” I remind him. “I came to claim what’s rightfully mine.”
“Gwendolyn is number 1. And you belong to her. She’ll kill you if she finds out about this.”
I see Ivan has been paying attention in blackmail class. “Are you threatening to upset my sweet poopsie-woopsie?” I snarl.
I push his head back under the water, and I feel a small hand on my shoulder. “I’m not worth it,” says Aubrey. Then she bends down. Her lips brush my ear, and her voice is so soft I can barely make out her words. “Lucas thinks you’re here for a reason. Please don’t let me get in the way.”
It doesn’t make any sense. Aubrey can’t possibly know why I’m here. But I pull Ivan’s dripping head out of the toilet. He’s been under long enough to have filled both lungs with fluid. A few more seconds and he would have drowned.
“I don’t want your corpse killing the mood,” I tell him. “Get out and keep your mouth shut—or next time I’ll finish the job.”
He’s still coughing up toilet water as he crawls out of the room.
Aubrey’s bottom lip is swollen, and there’s blood smeared across the left side of her face. He must have hit her pretty hard. She’s standing in her underwear, holding the shredded remains of her shirt together
. I open my mouth to say what I came to say, but she puts a finger to her lips. She’s trying to tell me the room might be bugged. But if she thought someone was listening, why didn’t she scream?
Thank you, she mouths silently. “Don’t hurt me,” she begs out loud. She wants the eavesdroppers to think that she’s scared of me. Which means she’s managed to keep her wits about her. So why the hell didn’t she scream?
I grab her arm and drag her toward me. “Remember the girl I told you about?” I whisper in her ear. “Go to Pitt Street. Ask for Joey—spelled J-o-i. She’ll help you. Promise you’ll do it, Aubrey. Promise me you won’t jump.” I feel Aubrey nod. “And when you get there, don’t tell Joi where I am. Just tell her I still love her. Will you do that?” I feel her nod again. “Good. Don’t worry about Ivan. I’ve got your back till you’re gone.”
When I let her go, she clutches my arm and pulls me toward her. I feel a soft kiss on my cheek. She’s crying now. I want to believe they’re tears of relief. Aubrey points to the door. She’s right. I should go.
“I’m not interested in damaged goods,” I say loud enough for any bugs in the room. “Fix yourself up. I’ll be back for you later.”
As I leave Aubrey’s room, I hear voices rising from the bottom of the atrium, so I take a cautious peek over the balcony. Three academy employees in white lab coats are finally carting Felix’s remains away. They disappear into one of the elevators, leaving a trail of bloody footprints across the courtyard. Before today, I would have argued that only cowards take their own lives. But while the rest of us were striving to win Mandel’s game, Felix simply refused to play. I wrote him off as a walking stereotype. I never realized he was the bravest kid here.
Which makes me wonder how much I’ve gotten all wrong. The only thing I know for sure is that Lucas was right. This has suddenly gotten a little too real.
• • •
I’m a few minutes early for the Fundamentals of Business. So, it appears, is everyone else. Frances—Number 53—is sitting at a desk in the center of the room. She’s weeping. Tears and snot are pouring down her face, as if everything inside her were being squeezed out. A few students are snickering. But they’re not laughing at her. Julian is standing right behind Frances, mocking her suffering. His performance is perfect—he’s even mastered the snot. When Ms. Brown enters the room, Julian breaks into a wide, sunny smile. Two or three people clap as he wipes his face with a tissue. Ms. Brown clears her throat, and I expect her to say something about Felix.