They stood around Hiccup in a semicircle.
"So, Hiccup," said Thuggory the Meathead. "What are we going to do now, then?"
"Whaddyamean by asking HICCUP?" demanded Snotlout crossly. "You're not going to ask THE USELESS to get us out of this mess, are you? He just single-handedly got us all to fail the Final Initiation Test. We were about to be banished and eaten by cannibals all because of HIM. He can't even control a dragon the size of an earwig!"
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"Can YOU talk to dragons then, Snotface?" asked Fishlegs.
"I am pleased to say I cannot," said Snotlout, with dignity.
"Well, shut up, then," said Fishlegs.
Snotlout got hold of Fishlegs by the arm and started twisting.
"Nobody, but NOBODY, tells SNOTFACE
SNOTLOUT to shut up," hissed Snotlout.
"I do," said Thuggory the Meathead. He grabbed Snotlout by the shirt and lifted him clear off the ground. "YOUR dragon got us failed just as much as HIS. I didn't notice anybody's dragon sitting up and begging like a good boy in the middle of that dragon-fight. YOU shut up or I will tear you limb from limb and feed you to the gulls, you winkle-hearted, seaweed-brained, limpet-eating PIG."
Snotlout looked into Thuggory's stern little eyes.
Snotlout shut up.
Thuggory dropped him and wiped his hands disdainfully on his tunic. "Anyway," said Thuggory, "MY father was on that stupid Council of Elders too. I'm with Hiccup. What kind of father puts his stupid Laws before the life of his son? And what kind of stupid Test
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[Image: You shut up or I will tear you to the gulls, you winkle hearted seaweed-brained, limpet eating Pig]
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was that, anyway? If we save all those stupid people from a REAL dragon like this one, maybe they'll let us into their stupid Tribe after all."
WELL, WELL, WELL, thought Hiccup. This is a turn up for the books. Maybe that Dragon was right and he is going to help me with my It's-Hard-to-Be-a-Hero problem. Before he eats me, of course.
One solo meeting with the Green Death and here were nineteen young barbarians, most of them much bigger and tougher and rougher than Hiccup, looking at Hiccup expectantly to tell them what to do.
Hiccup stood on tiptoe and tried to look like a Hero.
"OK," said Hiccup. "I need some time to think."
"GIVE THE BOY SOME ROOM HERE!" yelled Thuggory, pushing all the others back.
He swept off a rock for Hiccup to sit on.
u You just do all the thinking you need, boyo," said Thuggory. "This is a situation that needs a lot of thought and I have a feeling you're the only one here who can do it. Anybody who can have a twenty-minute conversation with a winged shark the size of a planet and come out of it alive is a better thinker than I am."
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Hiccup found himself warming to Thuggory the Meathead.
"QUIET!" yelled Thuggory. "HICCUP IS
THINKING."
Hiccup thought. And thought.
After about half an hour, Thuggory said: "Whatever you're thinking about to get rid of that monster better work for both of them."
"There's ANOTHER Dragon?" asked Hiccup.
Thuggory nodded.
"I went up to the Highest Point and spotted him while you were having your chat with the Big Green One."
"OK," said Hiccup. "That's good news, actually. Let's check out the new Horror."
The trail up to the Highest Point was littered with scallop shells and dolphins' bones thrown up by the gigantic storm. Along the way they even passed the wreck of one of Stoick's favorite ships, the Pure Adventure, lost at sea seven years before, and now perched crazily on a rock three quarters of the way up the biggest hill on Berk.
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Once you were right at the top it was possible to see most of Berk's coastline and the sea encircling you on all sides. Right at the other end of the island, a Dragon entirely filled up Unlandable Cove and spilled over the sides.
He was resting his vast, wicked chin on the cliff as a pillow. Great plumes of violet smoke were belching out of his snoring nostrils.
He was another Seadragonus Giganticus Max-imus, this time a glorious deep purple in color and, if anything, slightly larger than the one at Long Beach.
"The Purple Death, I presume," whispered Hiccup, shakily. "This is just what we need. Are you sure there aren't any more?"
Thuggory laughed, slightly hysterically. "I think it's just the two nightmare killing machines. Two not enough for you?"
Back at the Highest Point, Hiccup outlined his Plan of Action.
It was Fiendishly Clever -- if a bit desperate.
"We aren't big enough to fight these dragons," said Hiccup, "but they can fight EACH OTHER. We have to get them really angry at one another. We
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Hooligans will concentrate on the Green Death and you Meatheads will deal with the Purple Death.
"The one thing we will need is our own dragons, who seem to have disappeared," said Hiccup, "so we'd better start calling for them."
They started calling for their dragons, as loudly as they dared, and then louder still as there was no response.
The twenty dragons that belonged to the Novices were not, in fact, very far away at all. They had made up after the dragon fight and were now hiding in a piece of boggy bracken about a hundred yards or so away from where the boys were standing on the Highest Point. They were crouching like giant cats in the ferns, wicked eyes gleaming.
They were now so exactly the shade of a clump of bracken that they seemed to have melted entirely into the bog. If you had been
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a rabbit or a deer you would not have noticed them until you felt the talons on your back and the hot fire on your neck.
They had been following the boys for a while.
"So," whispered Fireworm, her tongue flickering menacingly. "What do we ho now then? Tie power is shifting on this island. Tie Masters will not be Masters for much longer. They are trapped, like lobsters in a pot. We are not. We can fly. whenever we want. Do we obey or do we desert?"
Dragons are not the sort of creatures to back a loser.
"Whatever we ho," grumbled Brightclaw, "let's ho it QOICKLY, m y; wings are freezing up?."
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"We could kill the boys now take them as an offering to tie New Master," suggested Seaslug, with a grunt of greedy pleasure.
"What, that great green. Devil on the beach?" said Horrorcow placidly. "I don't like the look of him, myself. He has too big an appetite. We might find. ourselves as the next offering."
"We fly, then," said Brightclaw, and the others murmured their agreement.
"S-s-siience," hissed Fireworm. "These islands are perilous," she sneered. "We might fly from one danger straight into tie mouth of another. I say we obey, until we are sure that they have lost. When that time comes I will give the signal for us to desert."
And so, as if from nowhere, Fireworm and Seaslug, Horrorcow and Killer, Brightclaw and Alligatiger and all the other dragons flew out of their hiding place and came circling slowly up to the Highest Point, landing on each boy's outstretched arm.
Last of all came Toothless, complaining horribly.
"Dragons . ..," said Hiccup.
And he explained the Fiendishly Clever Plan.
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Chapter4 THE FIENDISHLY CLEVER PLAN
The dragons protested a bit, but the boys yelled them into line.
All except for Toothless, who absolutely refused to join in.
"Y-y-you must be j-j-joking," sneered the little dragon. "I refuse to go anywhere N-N-NEAR a S-S-Seadragonus Gigamticus M-M-Maximus. Those things are d-d-dangerous. I shall stay here and watch you all."
Hiccup coaxed and bribed and threatened in vain.
"You see?" said Snotlout. "The Useless can't even get his own dragon to carry out his pathetic plan. And THIS is the person you are banking on to get you out of this mess?"
"Ugh," said Dogsbreath the Duhbrain.
>
"Oh, SHUDDUP, Snotlout," chorused the rest of the boys.
Hiccup sighed and gave up. "OK then,
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Toothless, you just stag h ere and miss all the fun. Now, I want everybody to go down to the Gull's Nesting Place and collect as many birds' feathers as you can for the feather bombs --"
"Birds' feathers!" scoffed Snotlout. "This wimp thinks you can fight an animal like THAT with birds' feathers! Cold steel is the only language a creature like that will understand."
"Dragons have a tendency to asthma," explained Hiccup. "It's all that fire-breathing they do. The smoke gets in their lungs."
"So you think this monster is going to die from asthma right then and there because of a few FEATHER BOMBS? Why not just feed him fried herring and see whether he drops dead of a heart attack in twenty years or so?" jeered Snotlout.
"No," said Hiccup patiently, "the feather bombs are just to make him very confused so he won't kill anybody on the way. Snotlout, Thuggory, I'm going to need to coach Fireworm and Killer in what they have to say," continued Hiccup.
"I'm not putting my dragon at risk in this crazy plan," said Snotlout.
"OH YES, YOU ARE," hissed Thuggory,
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through gritted teeth, brandishing a massive fist at Snotlout.
"This guy is such a PAIN, Hiccup, I don't know how you put up with him. Listen, Snotfeatures, by some miracle you have got yourself a reasonable dragon. "You GET that dragon to do what Hiccup wants or it will give me much pleasure to PERSONALLY boot you all the way to Porpoise Point and back again."
"OK, then," said Snotlout crossly. "But don't blame me when we all get barbecued because of the Useless's mad idea."
Hiccup supervised the making of the feather bombs.
The boys gathered great armfuls of feathers from the Gulls' Nesting Place.
They then burgled every item of material they could find: Goggletoad's nappies, Gobber's pajamas, Mogadon the Meathead's tent, Valhallarama's bra -- anything they could get their hands on. The grown-ups were too busy consulting amongst themselves to take any notice.
Snotlout cheered up a bit because he could show off his superior skill at Burglary. He managed to steal Baggybum's knickers right off him as he was standing
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[Image: Valhallarama's extra strong heavy duty bra]
[Image: Baggy bum's hairy knickers]
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in a Huddle discussing a Plan of Action. Baggybum didn't notice, not even when he reached a hairy hand down to absentmindedly scratch his great bottom -- he was too busy talking about Bigger and Better Methods of Yelling.
The boys then wrapped the feathers up in the material, so that they would fly out when the bomb was dropped.
Each team of ten boys was armed with about a hundred of these feather bombs wrapped in a great parcel made out of an old sail.
Hiccup led the Hooligans toward the Long Beach, while Thuggory took the Meatheads to Unland-able Cove.
The thin column of boys were excitedly chattering as they set off behind Hiccup; Wartihog and Clueless dragging the sail at the rear, the dragons circling and diving a couple of feet above their heads. Vikings are practically fearless, having been bred to be soldiers, so even Hiccup and Fishlegs had a surge of excitement at the thought of the battle to come.
But as soon as the monster came into sight again, the boys and the dragons instantly dropped to their tummies and squirmed forward, hearts beating hard.
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It was impossible that ANYTHING could be
THAT big.
Hiccup led them as near as he dared to the edge of the cliffs surrounding the Long Beach.
They looked down on the terrible creature snoring in front of them. His nostrils alone were as big as six front doors, and the stench reeking out of them made it difficult for the boys to breathe.
Wartihog, who had always had a delicate stomach, threw up disgustingly in the heather.
Hiccup, Fishlegs, and Clueless unwrapped the feather bombs and gave one to each boy. The boys called their dragons, as softly as they could, and each put a feather bomb in their dragon's mouth.
They then stood up on the edge of the cliff with their dragons on their outstretched arms.
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This took about the same amount of bravery it might take for you to leap off a mountain at a thousand feet. Even with the monster fast asleep, the natural reaction was to keep hidden in the bracken.
Hiccup tried not to breathe in.
He lifted his arm to give the command to begin.
"Go," whispered Hiccup.
"GO!" yelled back the boys, and ten dragons flew up and circled around the vast sleeping head.
Just as the Green Death inhaled, Hiccup shouted "NOW!" and the dragons let go of the feather bombs.
The Green Death took in a breath that was half air and half feathers. He woke with a gigantic sneeze and, as he shuddered and coughed, Fireworm, who was treading air near his right ear, gave a speech which went something like this, but a lot more irritating:
"Greetings, O Seadragonus Pusillanimus Min-imus, from my Father, the Terror of the Seas. He is feeling like feasting on tie barbarians and if you get in his way. he will feast on YOU.swim away, little seaslug, and you will be safe ~ but stay, on this island and you will feel tie sharpeness of his claws and tie fierceness of his fire."
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[Image: Fireworm leads the way in operation sneeze attack
Valhallarama's bra makes a particularly effective double bomb]
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The Giant Monster tried to laugh sarcastically and cough at the same time, but this is virtually impossible, and a feather went down the wrong way, making him cough even more.
Then Fireworm bit him on the nose.
It must have felt like a flea bite, but the Monster was outraged.
Through streaming eyes, the Green Death made a swipe at this irritating dragon-flea and missed. One giant claw tore down part of the cliff-face instead.
The nine other dragons had by this time returned to collect more feather bombs from the boys on the cliffs.
"NOW!" yelled Hiccup and, with split-second timing, they let their bombs fly. They hit their target of the Green Death's nostrils and he collapsed with coughing again.
"You cannot win, puny worm," crowed Fireworm. "Wriggle back to tie sea. where you belong and let my Master have his supper."
Now the Green Death was really cross.
He bounded lopsidedly after Fireworm, trying to bat away this irritating little speck of a dragon with his claws.
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But the Green Death had the same sort of difficulty in catching Fireworm as you might have if you tried to catch a firefly with your bare hands. Dragons are better than humans at that sort of game but the Green Death kept on missing because his eyes were streaming so much.
"Missed again!" sneered Fireworm, enjoying herself hugely -- and she flapped just out of reach of the Green Death's claws. The Green Death made another wild leap toward her as Fireworm flew on around the corner of the cliffs, steering the monster in the direction of Unlandable Cove.
Hiccup and the boys ran after them as fast as they could, but they hadn't a hope of keeping up. Running through heather is not unlike running through knee-deep molasses, and they kept disappearing up to their knees in the bog.
As Fireworm and the Monster got farther and farther ahead in their race along the shore line, it took longer and longer for the other dragons to fly back to the boys and return with more feather bombs.
The military commanders among you will recognize the kind of problems that ensue when the supply line can no longer reach the forces at the front.
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Eventually it was taking so long to reload that there came a moment when there were no more feathers tickling the Green Death's nostrils and his eyes stopped streaming and suddenly he could see the maddening Fireworm pinpoint clear. . . .
The Green Death made a lightning reflex swipe at the red
dragon and caught her in one gigantic claw.
It was lucky for Fireworm that at that very moment the Purple Death came crashing round the corner and struck the Green Death heavily in the stomach. His grip loosened on Fireworm for a second and she flew off, panting with relief.
The Green Death sat down heavily in the sea and fought for breath.
The Purple Death did much the same.
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Chapter 15 THE BATTLE AT DEATH'S HEAD HEADLAND
While Hiccup and his team had been enraging the Green Death, Thuggory and his team had been infuriating the Purple Death.
The two monsters ran smack into one another as they met at the corner of Death's Head Headland.
One of Fireworm's wings was broken in two places from her experience in the Green Death's grip, but she bravely flew back and made her final speech into his ear as he sat gasping for air in the shallows.
"Here he is," shouted Fireworm. "My Master, tie Purple Horror, who will tear you limb from limb and spit out your toenails!"
And Fireworm flew away lopsidedly as fast as she could, with one wing trailing behind her.
The Green Death was having a bad day.
Ordinarily, a Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus would not dream of attacking another animal of the same breed. They avoid fighting each other because
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they know they are so heavily armed that the battle risks ending in death for both of them.
However, the Green Death had been attacked and jeered at by minuscule creatures who had inflamed and outraged his vanity. This Creature, who seemed to think he was tougher than the Green Death himself, had struck him heavily in the chest.