I cringe knowing I may never see my mom again, never be able to give Keegan a proper burial. “What if it is? We never thought anyone could be as bad as the Commander, right? What if things never get better?”
Cole stops abruptly. He stoops low to the ground and pulls me next to him. I look from left to right and crouch beside him. I wipe my face and force myself to focus, even as my nerve endings scream.
He motions to me with two fingers, pointing at his eyes and then forward. I follow his fingers through the tall reeds to the faded pinks, whites, and yellows of the beach houses on stilts. Wooden slats are missing in some places, and the windows are all boarded up. The only potential sign of life is a food wrapper wafting in the breeze, caught on some reeds near a rusted car that looks like it hasn’t been touched in years.
Slate-gray waves crash against the beach, capped in white foam, making the bay look angry and forcing the water almost to the front steps of the houses. We need to get inside.
Just as I begin to stand, I see them, two figures in dark uniforms patrolling up the beach. They comb the perimeter, looking for trouble. Looking for us.
I point at one of the guards. Cole nods, and we both slink back from the edge. I press myself flat against the sand, pulling my gun out and struggling to hold it steady. Sand grinds against my arms. I grit my teeth in pain. Particles of sand crunch in my mouth. If I could somehow melt into the ground, I would.
The dark figures come closer as my shoulders tighten, and my breaths burst in and out. The rain stops, and they begin walking toward the edge, where the beach meets the dunes. One of them is short and stocky with tanned skin. The other, almost his polar opposite. I’m guessing he’s just over six foot. The tall one’s mouth is caught in a sneer as he trudges, barely lifting his feet from the beach. The closer they get, the more I resist the urge to run. Instead, I press my face into the sand, willing myself to disappear.
“Man, talk about a waste of time,” the short one says. His voice comes out like a low growl. “Today makes it, what? Three days since we found a Sinner—I’m about to start shooting trees.”
“Shut the hell up, and stop your bitching. Four more checkpoints. Then we’ll head back,” the tall one says, an M16 hanging over his shoulder. He looks up at the sky, which has grown ever darker. “Let’s split up. I want out of here before this storm hits.” His feet stop at the edge where the beach meets the reeds, and it becomes quiet.
“You really think we’ll find anything?” the short one asks.
“Doubtful, but I don’t want to be the one answering to Clayton when he asks,” the tall one says with a snort. “That’s all you.”
“That guy’s a real dick sometimes,” the short one says. He shuffles from one foot to the other. “And nothing exciting’s happened around here in fifty years … at least not since the last war.” He kicks the sand with his boot.
“Oh right, like when they bombed the shit out of everything,” the tall one says with a laugh. His partner chuckles, but then they both turn silent.
“All right, well, I’ll comb that end of the beach, and you can take this area.” Their feet move in different directions. “Let’s get this over with.”
When I lock eyes with Cole, his jaw twitches. He mouths to me, “Don’t move.”
My body freezes in place. I swear the beating of my heart can be heard for miles. I close my eyes and pull in cool, salty air as I wait for the guards to discover us. My finger tenses beside the trigger of my handgun.
When I open my eyes, I notice they haven’t moved very far, and one is still dangerously close. Cole aims his pistol at the one closest to us. His finger’s only a quick flick away from the trigger. His face looks rigid. I move the other guard into my line of sight, shifting slightly away from Cole.
Any second now, they’ll discover us, and once again, it’ll be a blood bath.
Two feet.
My pulse echoes in my ear, drowning out the sounds of the ocean. Just then, I hear the static charge of a guard’s radio. My breath catches in my throat. He pulls it from his waist and holds it up. The other guard, hearing the static from his position, meanders back toward us.
“Ten twenty-four, go ahead. I’m listening,” he says.
“All units: Code red. Code red. Lexi Hamilton sighted in the vicinity of Lexington Bay, Key Largo. Four men down. Possibly escaped with a male. Units in the area, please respond.” The voice cuts off.
Now, I really wish we could dig holes into the ground.
“Ten twenty-four, responding to your Code Red for Lexi Hamilton,” the guard says. “I’m in the area.” His partner’s eyes enlarge.
“Sinner is armed and dangerous,” the voice on the radio says. Pause. “Thought to have killed four men. Use extreme caution, and call for backup if discovered.”
“Affirmative.”
The guard lowers his radio, and both men stare at each other in disbelief. “Well hot damn. Looks like we’ve got ourselves some action for a change. Maybe she’s closer than we thought.”
“Once we catch that whore, I’m taking a vacation to Italy,” the growly voice says, excitement ringing through his voice. He steps even closer as he jumps around. I could probably touch the tip of his boot if I wanted to, but I don’t dare make a noise as he pivots.
“You still there, ten twenty-four?” The voice from the radio cuts through the static.
The guard raises the radio to his mouth and faces his partner. “Ten twenty-four, still here.”
“Their getaway car has been found. I repeat: Their getaway car has been found.”
I knew it’d come back to haunt us. My blood feels like ice.
“Report back to quarters immediately,” the voice commands.
“Ten-four.” The guard clips his radio to his waist and shrugs while looking at his buddy. “They’re going to mount a search I’m betting.”
“Oh, I feel it in my bones. We’ve got her this time,” the other says.
As they walk away, I can scarcely blink without fear of discovery. I can’t relax. They know we’re here. They know where the car is. It won’t be long before they find us again. It’s only a matter of time. Thunder crawls across the sky, vibrating the earth beneath me.
“Hey, breathe,” Cole says into my ear. “I’m right here.”
I turn my head, and his face is an inch away from mine. I relax a little, releasing the air trapped in my lungs. His warm breath on my neck comforts me as thunder reverberates again, followed by a beautiful display of lightning.
“The rain should’ve washed away our tracks, so let’s hope they’ll assume we’ve taken off running.” He gives me a reassuring touch on the shoulder. “We’ll be all right as long as they don’t have dogs.”
I chew on his words for a minute before deciding he’s probably right. Slowly, my grip relaxes on my gun, and I swallow the lump in my throat.
“We have to stick to the plan. Get to the safe house, make contact with Sutton.”
“Okay then, which one is it?” I ask, motioning to the houses in front of us.
“The pink one on the end.” He wraps his hand around my forearm, and we take off across the open expanse between the reeds and the houses, fighting pain and fatigue. The wind kicks up spray in our faces. Any minute, it looks like the clouds are going to burst.
We reach the houses in silence. Cole quickly moves alongside them and beneath the stilts, making sure it’s clear. Trash cans line the side of the house, half of them blown over by the wind. The garage has no door, and inside it, spare auto parts litter the floor. They rattle just enough to send prickles up my arms.
Then Cole rounds the front of the house, where the water butts up against a rickety wooden staircase. Some safe house.
I know every move Cole’s going to make and cover him with my gun drawn, ready. He runs up the steps, and I guard behind him with my gun cocked. He slowly twists the knob and enters the house while scanning the inside.
“Clear,” he whispers as the musty smell hits my nose.
I close the door and bolt it shut, double-checking the locks before turning around. We take turns clearing each room. It’s a small house, not much wider than a three-car garage, so it’s not long until we confirm it’s empty.
Satisfied, we holster our guns, and then ransack the place, looking for food and medical supplies. Once that’s done, I look around the living room with its chipping baby-blue walls and outdated wicker furniture. The ceilings are about eight feet high. Two chairs and a couch sit across from each other, and a brass lamp stands by the door. From the living room, I make my way to the open kitchen where the faded wallpaper, pine cabinets, and countertop remind me of pea soup. My stomach growls.
There’s no dining table, just a bar with two black stools separating the kitchen from the living room. I make my way down a narrow hallway that leads to two bedrooms and a bathroom. I turn into the first bedroom and collapse on the mattress, letting out a sigh of complete exhaustion. Just then, I hear thunder crack outside as rain assaults the rooftop. It’s enough to lull me to sleep.
Cole lowers himself to the bed and leans over me as my heavy eyelids slam shut. “Oh no you don’t. You, my girl, need a hot shower.”
I open my eyes, ready to protest, but stop when I see his lips half-parted an inch from my face. I feel the fight go out of me. All I want is for him to melt into me, but he’s right. I’m freezing, and I stink.
He hesitates before kissing my forehead, then my lips, and when he lowers himself onto me to kiss my neck, my breath quickens. Part of me still cannot believe he’s mine. After getting our start in the Hole, he as my guard and me as his prisoner, who would have ever believed we could end up together? My lips quiver beneath his, and warmth begins surging through me. Somehow, I find the strength to push his face back and hold it with both hands. His eyes search mine, eager and vulnerable.
“Didn’t you promise you’d never leave my side?” I ask.
“Yeah, why?”
“Then I guess you’re showering with me?” I give him a sly smile.
He grabs my hand, a smile playing at the edge of his lips as he leads me across the hallway.
Once inside the bathroom, he closes the door behind us and gently sets me down on the edge of the bathtub. He kneels in front of me and removes my boots and socks, tossing them aside. He looks up at me and runs his hand over his head.
“There’s something I need to say.”
“Okay,” I say, pulling on my belt. “I’m all ears.”
I notice his lower lip shake, and when he realizes it, he presses his lips together before speaking.
“The last thing I ever want to do … is hurt you.” He scratches his neck and looks at the wall behind me, seemingly unsure of exactly where to look.
“Hurt me? How could you possibly hurt me?” I run my fingers down the side of his face, tracing his jawline. My fingers tingle at the touch of his skin.
“Well, if you left me … that would kill me.” He reaches up and takes my hands in his. It feels as if something heavy is weighing on him. Something more than nearly getting killed before. Something he hasn’t been able to say. Something that has hung in the air between us ever since our first kiss.
“Cole, I could never leave you.”
He releases my hands.
“What’s wrong? Tell me.”
“It’s everything. It’s how we met. Where we ended up. Where we are now. What kind of life is this? What kind of future can we have?” I feel my legs starting to shake so I press my feet harder to the ground. How did we go from almost taking a shower together to not even being able to look at one another in the span of one minute?
“Will you please look at me?” I ask, placing my hand under his chin. I tilt his face up to mine. “For the first time in my life, I’m proud of who I am. There’s no more shame, guilt, or disgust. I’m satisfied with the person I am today, and you’re a huge part of that. I had to leave my normal life and be sent to the Hole to find out who I really am. You did that for me. And as crappy as life in the Hole was, I wouldn’t change anything that happened because it led me to you.”
Cole’s face relaxes, and he blinks a few times before he reaches up and wraps his fingers around mine. When he tilts his head to the right and gives me his dimpled smile, I can’t help but need him.
“Come here,” he says.
I stand while looking into his eyes. Holding my gaze, he slowly tugs at the edge of my shirt and slides his hands up my back. As if a train runs up my spine, my body shakes uncontrollably.
“I think it’s time we get warmed up.”
“Sounds like heaven to me.”
He turns the shower on. It doesn’t take long before steam fills the room. The warmth just adds to the moment, heating up my already burning flesh.
“Mind if I help you with your shirt?”
I manage to nod as I raise my arms toward the ceiling. Cole lifts my shirt over my head, and I watch it fall to the floor. His eyes, still locked on mine, burn through me as he steps forward, closing the few inches left between us, and unhooks my bra in one quick motion. The straps slide off my shoulders, and it joins my shirt on the tile floor.
“You’re so beautiful,” he says, soaking me up with eager eyes. His cheeks flush, and his dimples are so cute I want to kiss each of them.
“I look like a lion with a wild mane.”
But he just shakes his head at me. He brushes my hair away from my face and tucks it behind my ears. Then he kisses my neck slowly and gently, running his soft lips up and down the right side of my neck.
I moan.
He chuckles, and it vibrates against my skin. “You have a huge scrape here. Am I hurting you?” He traces around the tender part of my neck that was injured during the car’s tumble down the embankment.
“No.”
“Are you sure? Because you have bruising on both sides of your neck.”
“It’s okay. They don’t hurt.”
I allow my eyes to fall closed and tilt my head back as his hands make their way to the button on my pants, fiddling to get it undone. Once he succeeds, he pulls them toward the floor. One foot at a time, I step out of them. I can’t take it any longer. I reach down and take his head in my hands, urging him back up to me.
“What?” he asks, desire coating his voice.
“Your wrap, mind if I help you? I’ll do my best not to hurt you.”
“Don’t worry, not gonna happen. When I’m with you like this, all I can feel is you.”
“Is that so?” I ask in a flirtatious tone.
My hands shake as I loosen the cloth binding his ribs, and my eyes settle on the road rash and bruises that cover his skin. Without hesitation, my lips lightly touch his wounds. Inch by inch, I brush my kisses over each spot. He runs his hands run through my hair as his breathing quickens with each kiss.
I smile at him, and then he presses his lips to mine with such urgency and desperation my head spins. His lips are so warm and so soft, and I can taste the sweetness of his breath. Our lips part, and our tongues meet, and we kiss in unison like our mouths were meant for one another. He cups my face as I wrap my arms around his waist and press my fingers into his back. Our breaths quicken as our kisses become deeper. For a moment, everything is as it should be. I am lost in him.
We continue to kiss. I feel a drip of what I think is sweat down my back—or maybe it’s the steam. Whatever it is, my flesh burns with desire.
Smoothing my hair away from my face again, Cole drops his lips to mine, and our breathing goes haywire. I open my mouth slightly, inviting his tongue to graze mine, and as soon as our tongues touch, I shiver. He groans. It’s a connection I can’t explain, but instantly, it sends electricity through my veins and burns me to the core. His kisses become eager and harder. I wrap my arms around his neck as he pushes me up against the wall, overpowering me, which only sends my craving for him into overdrive.
“Cole,” I say, almost breathless. “We should take this into the shower.”
“Good idea.” He removes
the rest of his clothing in a matter of seconds.
We both get into the shower, and a few seconds pass before he wraps his arms around me and leans in, trapping me between him and the wall, again.
I know I should be enjoying myself, relaxing and allowing myself to feel every single touch, every amazing kiss. But in the warmth of the shower and Cole’s body, I’m worried I might faint. Why am I so nervous?
“You feel incredible,” he says between kisses.
His lips leave mine, and he kisses my cheek, my chin, and down the trail of my neck, across my collarbone, and back up my neck. It’s nearly impossible to steady my breathing. Next, he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth, caressing it with his tongue, and I let him. Of course I let him. I crave him.
We’ve been deprived of closeness for so long. I run my fingers down his back, and he presses me harder against the wall. He licks away the water from my mouth and kisses my lips with urgency. Suddenly, I can’t remember where I am. I can’t recall my name.
I can hardly hold myself upright any longer, and I start to slip.
“Easy, girl, I got you.”
Cole holds me up and hands me a bar of soap that smells like roses and an orange washrag that looks like it’s been through the shredder. And in that moment, I have everything I need.
“We better hurry,” he says. “The water’s already getting cooler.”
I respond with a shiver and rush to clean the grimy layers off my skin, hardly able to focus with Cole standing so close. We switch places, and I wash his back, putting the soap in its small dish on the shower tiles.
As he reaches up, a tiny, wiggling object drops in front of my face, its eight legs unmistakably searching for a landing spot.
A scream escapes my lips, and my hands search for a shower handle as my feet slide out from beneath me. Darkness clouds my vision, and then nothing.
When I open my eyes, I’m lying in the bed with my knees to my chest. The faint glow of a half-melted candle sits next to the bed. My breathing is steady. I feel Cole’s warm arms wrapped around me, my back up against him. His fingers lightly stroke my hair, and I know I’m safe.