He hardly expected her to continue moving her mouth over him the entire time he came, but she did exactly that, dragging him to hell and back on a train of pleasure. He shouted out her name, his hands fisting savagely in her hair as he jetted hot release into the back of her quickly working throat.
The instant he was finished he had to pull away from her. He was on a sensual overload and he simply couldn’t bear to stay in her mouth a minute longer without shouting the bloody roof down around them. She didn’t come easily, of course. She had to have her way in the form of an impudent lick of her tongue. Then he pulled her up the full length of his body and held her tight and close while he tried to catch his breath.
On the edges of his awareness was the ever-present buzz of the village around them. Always. So he was more than powerfully aware of the fact that a days-long spiral of hunger and neglect had just come to a resounding end. Kloe had not seen fit to feed her colony even once since Julian and Asia’s lovemaking had last glutted them all. The clinic had been filling rapidly, and tenuous holds on health had been rapidly declining. Now, once again, the powerful energy of them coming together had restored his people to full and satiated status. It wasn’t near as far-reaching an effect as last time, but it was enough to take care of his people where his Ampliphi would not.
And it only took him moments to realize that Asia was just as aware of that as he was.
“She’s wrong, you know,” she said with soft breathy note.
“I know she is. But there is nothing I can do about it except complain to the other Ampliphi—and if I do that, it will only make relations worse between Kloe and the colony. It’s just a matter of us holding on until she gets over her anger. The fastest way for that to happen is a sacrificial lamb. I have to find someone I know is going to be able to represent us well and yet have the patience to manage Kloe’s temperamental nature.”
“It’s not fair. One thing shouldn’t have anything to do with the other. Kloe needs to be above letting petty emotion affect her obligation to serve this colony. The other Ampliphi should see to it that she does. And I don’t care if she doesn’t like it, you should go to them and make them force her to behave herself.”
Julian sighed. “You don’t understand. The Ampliphi are an unpredictable lot. They could just as easily side with her or opt not to do anything at all, forcing us to resolve the issue on our own. But by then the damage will have already been done. If I do anything further to anger Kloe, it could cost us lives.”
“And meanwhile children are suffering in the clinic,” Asia said angrily. She pushed away from him, getting up off the bed in her frustration, needing to move and settling for pacing the room. “Julian, there has to be answerability. The way it stands now, your Ampliphi are nothing more than spoiled children, a clique that sides for or against an issue based solely on whims that have nothing to do with justice! As long as they are able to rule over everyone with no system of checks or balances, your entire society is at risk and you will never recover from your plagues.” She looked at him with vivid, troubled eyes. “Julian, the Ampliphi themselves are just another plague if they can get away with hurting you all like this.”
He sat up in the bed, draping an arm over a raised knee. “Well, luckily for my people they have us to compensate.”
She frowned at that. “They need more than that. They need to be able to depend on those responsible for taking care of them.”
“I’m not saying you’re wrong,” Julian said, trying not to smile to see her reacting so passionately on behalf of his people. “But you see what an untenable position I am in?”
“Yes, of course I see it. And I hope you see how this is part of the overwhelming pressure I am feeling. If I don’t sleep with you, people will starve? Where’s the freedom of my choice in that?”
Julian felt fingers of ice crawl up his spine, his whole body going stiff.
“I would never want you to be with me out of some sense of obligation to the people around you,” he said tightly. “Has that been what this was all about?”
“No, of course not,” she chided him. The relief he felt to hear her say it was extraordinary.
“Good. My reasons for being here have nothing to do with the benefit of my people. I hope you understand that.”
“I’m not a child, Julian.” She laughed. “I am perfectly capable of deciding for myself if I want to have a fling with someone for my own reasons. I can separate my desire for good sex from my desire to see people treated well and fairly.”
She might as well have thrown a volley of knives into his heart. Feeling a bit numb with a shock he knew he shouldn’t be feeling, he moved carefully to the edge of the bed.
“A fling?” he asked very carefully. “Is that all this is to you?”
She hesitated, taking note of his tension. She immediately stood still, tension lacing her entire body. He could tell the minute she felt vulnerable having the conversation in the nude because she began to cast her eyes around, looking for her clothes. She found her shirt and tugged it on.
“I didn’t mean to make it sound quite that way,” she said just as carefully. “Don’t take anything I say too personally. I’m angry because of Kloe.”
Julian took his cue from her and bent to retrieve his pants from the floor. He tugged his jeans on as his thoughts whirled around what she had said and how it was making him feel.
“Why are we here?” he wanted to know, indicating the bedroom around them. “Are you just…Do you just indulge in some kind of impulse of the moment when you decide to sleep with me? Is that all it is?”
She laughed at that as she found her skirt. “Don’t kid yourself. You were acting on your impulses just as much as I was.”
But the difference was he wasn’t acting only on those impulses. For him, it meant much more than the passing fancy of the moment to take her to his bed. There was a lot more on the line than just the physical for him. And once again he was being forced to realize she didn’t have that problem. She didn’t now, and possibly would never, feel these encounters with the same depth that he did. And he was beginning to seriously doubt she was ever going to be able to. She was too compartmentalized. Too disconnected from her needs and her emotions. She was too different. She was alien in ways that had nothing to do with her being human. In fact, she was so cut off from her humanity sometimes it simply floored him.
Feeling like an idiot for thinking things had somehow changed for her, Julian got up and left the room in search of his shirt. He needed distance, and he needed it fast—before he let his emotions run away with him and he ended up saying something he was going to regret.
“Julian! Where are you going?” Asia asked, hurrying after him. “I don’t want you to leave! I didn’t mean this had to end or anything!”
His only response was a short, barking laugh. He shrugged into his shirt as he headed straight for the door.
“Julian!” She chased him down as he hit the walkway, reaching to grab for his arm. He turned on her with a low, savage sound that made her come up short. Then he pushed her hand away and started to walk away from her.
“Julian, wait.”
He shook his head and continued to walk off, trying to put distance between them and failing miserably because she was dogging every step he took.
“Julian, are you going to make me chase you all over the colony or are you going to stop and talk to me?” she demanded. “Why don’t you stand still for two seconds and ask me what I want instead of assuming you already know what it is!”
That had the power to stop him in his tracks. He turned to face her, surprise limning his eyes so clearly she had to bite her bottom lip to keep from laughing at him. Even so, she was afraid her amusement radiated into her eyes.
“You find this difficulty of mine amusing?” he asked severely, his outrage emanating in a sudden suffocating sweep.
“No, I find your bullheaded ideas of chivalry amusing. And while I appreciate the thought, I’m trying to tell you it’s no
t really necessary. I’m trying to tell you to take me home so we can continue this in the privacy of our own house. I’m trying to make you understand that I want you to seduce me and that there’s nothing wrong with either one of us wanting that.”
Apparently, she didn’t have to ask him twice. This time she had to bite back a giggle as he grabbed her hand and began to pull her along behind him. However, it took her a full minute for her to realize they weren’t headed toward home. Instead, he took her to her sister’s house.
“Go in to your sister. Have your scheduled meal with her. I am not going to do this game with you,” he informed her bitterly.
“What game?” she wanted to know, her shock clear on her features.
“Asia, to you this is about sex and physical passions. And that’s all it is. I can’t play that game with you. I can’t pretend to feel less than what I do just to make things more comfortable for you. Not when it comes to physical intimacy. That asks too much of me. Now go to your sister and leave me be to clear my head!”
“Stop it! Don’t you dare brush me off like I’m some kind of pesky schoolgirl who doesn’t know what’s good for her! And don’t accuse me of taking this situation lightly!”
“But you are taking it lightly.” He rounded on her. “You are not willing to take it any other way, you’ve made that abundantly clear to me. Now you’re pissed off because I won’t let you play with me like a toy you can bat carelessly back and forth? You’re fucking with my head, Asia! What’s worse, you’re fucking with my heart! And you either don’t even know it or you just don’t care. Either way, I’m not willing to find out what I’m going to feel like come sunrise when you decide you want nothing to do with me and mine again!”
Asia just stared at him, knowing her mouth was gaping wide open, and she couldn’t even bring herself to close it.
“There you go again!” she accused him. “Making me out to be the designated asshole around here! You speak to me like I have no feelings. Stop treating me like this!”
“How else am I supposed to treat you? You keep telling me over and over again how you are not capable of the things I want from you. Now I am telling you I won’t take half measures from you. You either want all I have to offer or you want nothing at all from me. You make your choice and you stick to it, damn you, because I don’t know how much more of this I can tolerate! You’re killing me in slow doses, can’t you see that?”
She hadn’t seen that. Not until he’d said as much. All of this time he had talked of her being his kindra, about the energy to feed his colony, about all the things she had to accept…what she could and could not do. But never once had he said a single thing about his heart being involved. She’d known she was hurting him, but she had thought that was through embarrassing him and wounding his ego. Until three minutes ago she hadn’t heard word one about tender feelings and emotions.
Not that it mattered anyway, she told herself fiercely. She didn’t do relationships. She wasn’t capable of the emotions he was laying claim to. He was right. If he wasn’t willing to do things on more shallow terms, then they shouldn’t have anything to do with one another.
But then why did her chest suddenly hurt with the very idea of letting him walk away? That was easy, she told herself. He was growing on her. He was a good man, an impressive example of what real manhood should be about. Honesty, honor, responsibility, and the determination to see things were carried through to the end. He was…
He was going to walk away and leave her there. He was going to tear himself away from her rather than fight his way through to her. He was going to surrender the war when all the battles had yet to be fought. It didn’t make sense! He’d been dogged and determined from the very beginning, yanking her through from one moment to the next fearlessly and with emphasis. Why would he give up now?
“Because I can’t wrestle you for every single inch of a heart you refuse to even think about opening up to me,” he said. “No one can possibly have the amount of fight you expect them to go through to prove to you they are worth your while! You have made yourself too hard, Asia! You wanted to be impenetrable and you’ve succeeded. Now you are surprised to see me concede?”
“I—” She didn’t know what to say. Her brain was swirling with input and hard words. He was emanating such powerful anger and other painful emotions it was impossible for her to see straight.
“You win,” he said softly. “Isn’t that what you always want? To win? Well, you win. Once and for all. You’ve convinced me to walk away and give up. You want to live on your own? Fine. You can have it. You want to be with other men?” His hands clenched into fists and she could see a pulse ticking in his jaw. “Go. Take yourself to any other colony but this one and do whatever you please. I’m done. I’m done.”
Julian turned his back on her and walked away.
Chapter 17
Kenya came to the door to retrieve her sister when several minutes passed without a single hint of emotion emanating from the other side. The entire colony had to have felt that horrible argument between Julian and Asia. Julian’s sense of defeat and the extraordinary pain of the sacrifice he was forced to make would be felt for miles.
Kenya dragged a rather shell-shocked Asia into her living room.
“Are you okay, honey?” she asked as her sister dropped into a chair.
“I—I don’t…” Asia shook her head. She was such a jumble of confused emotions Kenya couldn’t sort them out any more than her sister could. So, instead, Kenya went to make her sister a simple cup of steeped herbs, similar to teas from home. It would have a soothing effect. Perhaps it would help.
Or perhaps not.
No sooner had Kenya handed her sister the cup than there was an awful racket against the other side of her door. Hurrying to see who was intruding on them, Asia’s sister was shocked to open the steel door to the violently flickering form of Ampliphi Kloe. The Ampliphi did not wait for an invitation before she pushed past Kenya and confronted Asia with sparks of outrage jumping from her to physically touch Asia’s exposed skin like static shocks.
“You ungrateful creature,” Kloe shouted in Asia’s face. The aggression emanating off her was overwhelming. “Have you no idea what that boy gave up for you? Have you no appreciation for the magnitude of the gift I gave you in him? Impudent girl! You would throw away the most precious thing this entire world has to offer you?”
“Hey! Back off her!” Kenya demanded of one of the creatures that had most reverently intimidated her since the day she had gotten there. But all it took was seeing her sister under attack for her to fly in the face of the Ampliphi.
“Sit and quiet yourself!”
Kenya suddenly learned why the Ampliphi were so feared. She was plucked from the air and thrown back into a chair with nothing but the power of the Ampliphi’s energy.
It was the biggest mistake Kloe could have made.
No one…no one touched Asia’s sister with intent to harm without answering to her.
Asia was on her feet in the very next instant, getting up into Kloe’s face with the full force of all the rage and anger she’d been holding in store. A sharp electrical arc leapt from Asia to the Ampliphi, making Kloe cry out in shock and surprise.
“Don’t you dare touch my sister!” Asia snarled at Kloe.
Ampliphi Kloe stood back away from the creature that had just done the impossible to her. She had used energy against her! Kloe was energy itself—how could this human beast use energy to attack her?
“You dare?” Kloe hissed in Asia’s face. “You dare to attack one of the Ampliphi?”
“No! She didn’t attack you!” Kenya shouted, fear lacing her entire soul.
“I’ll dare that and more if you even think of touching my sister again!”
Kloe saw red. She lashed out in her rage, reaching to grab the object of the dare into her power, seizing Kenya’s entire body and throwing her across the room until she hit a wall and fell into a slump on the floor.
Triumphant a
nd powerful, she turned on the human who had dared to challenge her.
Asia didn’t even think in terms of solidity. She saw a threat to Kenya and she had to neutralize that threat; that was all that she saw and all that she had to consider. She grabbed for Kloe, something she didn’t realize was impossible, caught hold of the Ampliphi, and threw her down to the floor with all of her power and all of her fury backing it up. She didn’t realize the explosion of her own violent emotions burst out into the colony like a nuclear blast.
Kloe hit the ground so hard that she actually felt extraordinary pain. It was unthinkable. The human could not only touch her, but had taken control of her. Now she held her down to the ground with a hand around where a normal woman’s throat would be.
“Ungrateful, you called me?” Asia spat into the other woman’s face. “You who look down on all of these people as if they were little ants you might step on if only it strikes your fancy to do so? How dare you take one of the women these people deem precious and treat her as if she were nothing! And I am supposed to believe you’ve come here indignant on behalf of the man you viciously stripped from your service? I am not that stupid! This is nothing but an excuse to get up in my face! Well, you wanted a brawl, sister, and you’ve got one!”
Asia hauled the Ampliphi up to her feet and with an explosion of emotion sent the faded creature barreling back into the same wall she’d thrown Kenya against. By the time Kloe hit, she had become fully flush and flesh with the power of the energy Asia was sending explosively into her, so she felt the landing crack against her back, ribs, and skull.
Kloe dropped into a stunned little heap right next to the unconscious Kenya, but when she saw Asia round a chair to come after her she began to scramble back away from her in sudden and incomprehensible fear. She had woefully underestimated the human girl. She’d had no idea a human could become so powerful in their world. Where had she gotten so much energy from? How had she learned to wield it?