“Because I need to hear it, and you need to say it. Because I want to know this wasn’t just pretend to you.”
He swallowed hard and rasped out, “I love you, Lena.”
Lena let off a soft gasp and closed her eyes, as if she’d been waiting for those words all her life. Unable to help himself, Jenner leaned forward and kissed her, and slowly, she softened against him and parted her lips, allowing him to brush his tongue against hers for the last time. Last taste. Last kiss. Not enough.
Lena looked devastated when she pulled away, but instead of saying anything, she handed him an envelope.
“What’s this?”
“A tip. You earned it. You saved me in more ways than you know.”
Jenner opened it and, sure enough, there was a small stack of twenty dollar bills inside. He shook his head and handed it back to her. “It doesn’t feel right taking a tip from you.”
“Why not?”
“Because”—he kissed her palm to stall and steady his voice—“you gave me the best days of my life. Can’t you see your money will taint that?”
Lena clutched the envelope to her chest and nodded. With a sad smile, she murmured, “Goodbye, Jenner.” She brushed past him but not before he saw a single, glistening tear track down her cheek.
She walked toward where Tobias waited on the edge of the woods and didn’t look back.
He couldn’t do this. Couldn’t watch her walk out of his life. His bear shredded his insides as he jogged toward the trees on the opposite side of the clearing. His boots crunched across the earth as he picked up his pace.
He was going to Change, and he didn’t want her to see him lose it. Lose her. Lose himself.
Bye, Lena.
****
Lena gasped as the woods shook with a deafening roar. There was such agony in it.
Tobias threw a pitying look to the woods behind them but kept walking.
God, that had been one of the hardest things she’d ever done, pretend to say goodbye to him. But if she told him what she was thinking, he would make a harder run at pushing her away, and she couldn’t handle that right now. Not after everything they’d been through.
“Stupid man,” she said, wiping her damp cheek on her shoulder.
Tobias didn’t say anything, only walked silently beside her, loaded down with all of her luggage.
“Do you think I’m right in leaving?” she asked softly.
“It isn’t my place to say.”
“I’m asking your honest opinion, Tobias.”
A rumbling growl blasted from him, and he rounded on her. “No, all right? I think it’s fucked up what you’re doing to each other. These kinds of games get people hurt.” He glared over her shoulder at the woods behind her. “It’ll get my brother hurt.”
“Good.”
“What?”
“Now you’ll help me.”
Tobias narrowed his eyes. “Help you how?”
“Help me keep your brother because despite his best efforts and beyond all reason, I love the idiot, and I’m not ready for him to push me away.”
Tobias reared back, blinking hard. And then a slow, approving smile took his face. “What do you need me to do?”
“Fly me to Galena.” Lena lifted her chin primly. “I want to meet Elyse.”
Chapter Fourteen
Flying in a little bush plane was a lot less terrifying when the weather was fair. This time Lena didn’t even scream when Tobias landed the plane on a long, smooth strip outside of the tiny town of Galena, Alaska.
Tobias waved to a man who stood leaned against a muddy green SUV near a pair of covered bush planes. He must’ve been the one Tobias radioed on the way over here.
“He’s your ride to Ian and Elyse’s homestead,” Tobias explained, his green eyes clear and serious.
“You aren’t coming to see your brother? You’re so close.”
“I’m afraid I can only handle one brother today. Link will get you where you need to go.”
Tobias helped her out, unloaded her belongings, and set them in the back of the SUV.
“Lincoln McCall,” the tall, lanky man with wild gray eyes introduced himself. His handshake was rough and was punctuated by a long rattling snarl and then a quick hard shake of his head, as if he hadn’t meant to let the warning sound slip.
“Link’s half-mad already,” Tobias said, clapping the man on the back. “Careful not to piss him off, yeah?”
“Uh, okay.” Baffled, Lena waved to Tobias as he jogged back toward his plane.
“Tell Elyse I said hi,” Tobias called over his shoulder.
“What about Ian?”
“Tell him he’s an asshole.”
Lena pursed her lips. Excellent.
Link opened her door for her like a true gentleman, if she could ignore the blazing color of his eyes and the snarl on his lip. He would be a handsome man if he didn’t look so feral.
“Sorry,” Link muttered as he slid in behind the wheel and shut his door a little too soundly. “It’s been a while since I talked to a stranger.”
“Link McCall, you said? Of the McCall pack?” The crazy pack that Dalton had told her about.
“Yeah, and clearly you’ve heard about me already so you don’t have to dance around it. It don’t bother me. Not anymore.”
He spun out of the dirt parking area and onto a long, pothole-riddled road.
“But you’re friends with the bears.”
“Wild isn’t it? Being friends with the enforcers who will put me down someday. The Silvers aren’t the bad guys, though.” He cast her a wild look. “I am. And when it comes time, I’d rather be put down honorably by one of them than hurt people.”
“You don’t sound like a bad guy to me,” she murmured honestly.
Link dragged his attention from the road to her, then back, but she’d seen it. The grateful look on his face, there and gone.
“I’m a rogue now. The Silvers are the closest I have to a pack, and it makes me feel good to protect Elyse when Ian is sleeping.”
“You stay the winters with her?”
Link turned right onto the main road and nodded. “I did for most of the winter last year just in case my family came back for Ian. Elyse was all alone out there defending her mate, and it wasn’t right what my pack was doing. And I was there, hunting her, preparing to attack her right along with the rest of my family, but there was this moment. She was standing over her man, firing off round after round, knowing she couldn’t win, but she was going to die trying, and she asked me for help. Recognized my hesitation I guess and knew it was me, looked me square in the eyes and begged me. And I couldn’t let them hurt a woman who was down for her man like that. It wasn’t right.”
“You fought your own pack?”
Link nodded once. “Me and Elyse both did, and she took me in after that. She’s a loyal sort. Oh, she knows I’m headed straight to hell, but she’s determined to take care of me while I’m sane. She’s a good person like that. She gave me one of her outbuildings to fix up and stay in. Even kept me fed when hunting and trapping was lean. In return, I kept watch over her place in case my old pack returned. They’ve scattered to the wind by now, though, so she’ll be all right this winter. Tobias had a kill order on one of them this season. Likely, Jenner will have one when he wakes up from hibernation next season. There are a lot of McCalls, and half of us have lost our damned minds already. The bear shifters’ handler, Clayton, likes to take turns with them so their animals don’t get a taste for the hunt. Bloodlust would be bad on those Silvers.” Another long growl sounded from Link, but stopped abruptly, and he continued as if there had been no interruption at all. “If they go rogue, it would take an army to end one of them. Clayton’s right to switch it up every season. You claimed?”
The last question caught her off-guard, so she blinked rapidly and dumbly asked, “What?”
“Tobias sounded like you are important to Jenner. Did he claim you?”
“Y-yes. But he’s trying to get
me to leave.”
Link gripped the wheel and frowned at the road passing beneath his ride. “Why the fuck would he do that? We only pair up once, if we’re lucky.”
“He’s worried I won’t be happy here.”
Link’s face ticked. “Then it’s his responsibility to make sure you are.”
“The hibernation is what he’s hung up on, I think.”
“Yeah, well, me and Tobias are working on that.” Link clicked his mouth closed with an audible clack, and his eyes went comically blank.
“What did you say?”
“It’s Jenner’s responsibility to keep you happy.”
“Nooo, after that.”
“Nothing, and don’t ask me again or you’re going to get my life ended before I go mad. If Tobias wants you to know what we’re working on, he’ll tell you his damned self.”
Link turned up the radio to an uncomfortable volume and didn’t say another word the rest of the trip to Elyse’s homestead.
And just below the notes of an old country crooner, Link’s feral, wolfish growl rattled on.
Lena would be lying if she said she wasn’t intimidated by meeting Elyse. Everyone spoke so highly of her that Lena had drawn up as tight as a guitar string by the time Link pulled in front of a small log cabin. In the yard, a black and white husky with bi-colored eyes barked in a constant fashion.
Link called out, “Quit it, Miki,” and the dog trotted over and greeted the werewolf with a friendly lick to the knuckles.
Such a strange sensation washed through Lena as she stood by the open door, scanning the homestead. There was a large fenced cattle pen with one momma cow and her half-grown calf, and beside that was a horse corral with a brown horse who looked to be asleep and a shiny black one who was tossing his head and kicking at nothing as he snorted a pissed-off sound, wary eye on her.
“That’s Demon,” Link said, jerking his chin toward the horse. “He’s crazier than I am.”
There was a chicken coop with an outdoor area completely contained in chicken wire, probably to keep out the predator birds from swooping down and making off with them. The soft clucking of hens and the peep, peep of chicks filled in a silence that had descended over the homestead when Miki had stopped his barking. And all around the clearing was lush forest the color of vibrant rain-bloated moss.
Her heart was pounding unreasonably fast as her chest filled with some emotion she didn’t understand.
“Sounds like they’re back in the garden. This way,” Link said, striding toward the side of the cabin with a gait too graceful to be human.
Around the corner, Lena skidded to a stop. The garden Link had mentioned was towering with green plants in rows, highlighted with brightly colored vegetables. There was a row of young fruit trees along the back that were producing as well. And in front of a long row of corn stood a couple. The man, Ian she presumed, had his back to them and was holding Elyse off the ground. Her legs were crossed at the ankles, and they were kissing. A flush heated Lena’s cheeks at having barged in on such a private moment.
“Come on then,” Link said. “They’re always doing that.”
“Link,” Ian said, turning with Elyse in his arms. “I thought I heard—” His eyes went round with surprise when his gaze landed on her. “Hello.”
“Link, you dog!” Elyse crowed through a grin.
“No, boss lady, she isn’t mine. She’s Jenner’s.”
Elyse landed hard on her feet and swatted her mate. “Oaf, you dropped me!”
“You’re Jenner’s mate?” Ian asked, his striking blue eyes shocked.
“Yes. Kind of.” She pulled at the sleeve of her shirt and tried again. “It’s complicated.”
Ian strode over to her and pulled the neck of her shirt, no doubt looking for the bite she’d un-bandaged on the way over here. “Holy shit. Where’s Jenner?”
“Well, you see, he doesn’t know I’m here. He thinks I’m on a plane back to the mainland. He’s back at the lodge still.”
Ian shook his head and closed his eyes, then blew out a breath. “You’ve lost me. Let’s start from the beginning.”
With a grateful smile, she murmured, “Hi, I’m Colleen Rhodes. People call me Lena.”
“Ian,” he muttered, shaking her hand hard enough to rattle her entire body. “This is my wife, Elyse. So my brother bit you? He just…bit you?”
Lena pried her hand from his steely grasp and let off a nervous laugh, then waved shyly to Elyse. “I know what you are and what Link is. I’m just plain and boring human, but I won’t tell anyone. About you guys, I mean.” She sighed a steadying exhalation. “I love your brother very much, but he has it in his head I don’t belong with him.”
“Typical Silver,” Elyse muttered. Ian cast her a frown, but Elyse said, “What? It’s true. Boy scouts, all of you, and so afraid you’ll break us.” Her delicate eyebrows jacked up. “She doesn’t look breakable to me.”
“So, what are you doing here then, Lena? Why are you here instead of on that plane?”
“I guess I wanted to talk to Elyse. I want to hear how it really is for her because I have it in my head that I’m in too deep and can’t just forget about Jenner, but he’s hell-bent on pushing me away. And if it was because he didn’t love me back, I would understand—”
“He loves you fine,” Ian grumbled. “He fucking bit you. We don’t do that if we aren’t in it.”
“That’s what I thought, too, and even if he hadn’t claimed me, he said it to me. Right before I left him at the lodge, he told me he loves me.”
Link snickered behind her, but when she turned around, he had his arms crossed over his chest and his lips zipped like he wasn’t about to let her in on the joke.
“It took Ian forever to admit it,” Elyse explained. The honey-haired woman turned and waved her hand for her to follow. “Come on, Lena. You and I have some chatting to do. You boys get dinner on.”
“Yes ma’am,” Link said with a little salute, but his dove-gray eyes were still dancing and a smile still lingered on his lips. And it wasn’t lost on Lena that Link had stopped growling completely around Elyse.
Lena wrung her hands and wiped her damp palms on her jeans.
With a strange look, Elyse asked, “Are you okay?”
“Just nervous.”
“To meet me?”
“Well, you’re the only other woman in this pack. Crew? Werebear clan?”
“Ha! None of those. The Silver brothers aren’t close enough for any of those terms.” The smile slipped from her face. “Ian wants it to be different, though. It bothers him they don’t talk very much.”
“Jenner has nothing but good to say about his brothers. I think it’s just the bear part of them.”
“Yeah, me too. How did you and Jenner meet?”
And Lena told her. She explained about Adam and her job. About the pictures she was commissioned to take of the brown bears, about Titus, and even how Jenner was her first. She laid it all out there, partly because Elyse was really easy to talk to, and partly because she needed to tell someone all of this just so she didn’t have to bear the burden of the confusion alone. And Elyse was an understanding woman. Her green-gold eyes were soft as she walked along beside her down a set of ATV tracks, and she smiled, chuckled, and showed sympathy in all the right places. And it felt so damned good to admit to someone how scared she’d been during Titus’s attack, and how hard it had been seeing Jenner at risk to protect her.
Before she could change her mind, Lena said, “Jenner told me about how you got your scar.”
Elyse lifted her startled gaze. She was a beautiful woman, and the long, red mark that ran the length of her cheekbone made her look like a warrior. “I would do it all over again if it meant keeping Ian safe,” she murmured. “It’s hard to look in the mirror sometimes, though.”
“Oh, you should be proud of it, Elyse. You’re an incredibly brave woman.”
She huffed a laugh and bumped Lena’s shoulder with her own. “That’s what Ian s
ays. He likes the scar. I catch him staring at it sometimes with this look in his eyes that just gets my heart pounding. It’s like he doesn’t see it as a marring, but an adornment. A trophy maybe. And I’d never admit to him I don’t like the way it looks because he would worry. It’s not a vanity thing. It’s looking at my reflection and always being reminded of that night, you know? I thought we were both goners.”
“Is that how it always is for them?” Lena asked softly. “Will I be Jenner’s protector?”
“No. Not always. There will be times that are more dangerous for them than others, especially when they carry out kill orders, but Jenner has done just fine fending for himself up until now, right?”
“He says he finds a different den every winter and that he’s always concerned a hunter will stumble upon him sleeping. He hibernates around the lodge.”
“He does? I thought he was on Kodiak Island or something like Tobias.”
“Nope. The guided hunts start in September, and I think he just works until he gets tired and finds a den last minute.”
Elyse ran her fingertips absently over her lips as she stared off into the evergreen woods. “Your job requires you to travel, and that is what he is concerned about, too?”
“Yes, but I’ve emailed my boss, and that can be fixed. Jenner’s stuck on the hibernation part. He thinks he can’t give me a good life.”
“Please. Jenner can afford to provide for a mate, even if you weren’t bringing in any income, which you are, so his argument there is completely invalid. He’s probably just freaking out like Ian did. It’s hard on them to think about going to sleep, not knowing what is happening with us while they hibernate. And it’s hard, Lena. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. I’m already dreading winter. I’m already dreading the couple of weeks before Ian goes down. He’ll start eating more, and we’ll be able to tell our time together is coming to an end. I cried for days his first hibernation, and the loneliness is wretched. I would go down into the root cellar where he was sleeping and just lay beside him, because I missed him so much. It’s committing yourself to only seeing your mate for half the year. You will grow tough that first winter, and you’ll feel that ache of emptiness down to your bones.” Lena’s heart had grown heavier with every word until Elyse said, “But…summers. Oh, Lena, warm weather is magic. There is nothing like being bonded to a shifter. It would mean complete devotion all your days until the end of your life. There’s good and bad, but I can’t tell you what to do. You have to decide for yourself whether you are strong enough to be a Silver.”