‘I’m ticking along,’ he stated, noncommittal.
‘I see.’ Emily looked at the table and tapped her finger. Anna’s enthusiasm was starting to diminish. She felt verbally incapacitated.
After a pause, Steven looked up and sighed, ‘You don’t have to try to help me fit in. If it’s any consolation, I’ve always had trouble fitting into other people’s ideals of social etiquette.’
Emily stared at Steven and bit her lip as sadness overwhelmed her. It was her fault – it was her inadequacy. ‘I’m sorry about that.’
‘It’s not your fault.’
‘Actually,’ she stopped, trying to use the right words, ‘There is a very strong chance that it is one hundred per cent my fault. I am your mother after all, and I am useless at fitting in. But, and don’t tell Anna I admitted this, I always had a sister to steer me along. If it had been up to me, I would have ended up as a recluse in a convent.’
Steven looked up, his eyes alight, ‘Are you religious then?’
Laughing, she replied, ‘No, I’m just different. Not that I’m not tolerant. Obviously, we have different faiths represented in our community, so I do respect other people’s beliefs.’
‘I was raised as a Roman Catholic by my mother.’
Emily found it hard to hear him call someone else his mother yet she broke into a smile. ‘You’d better keep that quiet around the Santos family – you’ll be even more popular around their unmarried girls. They are all avid Catholics. Eilif and Jan had to convert to Catholicism before they could get married.’
‘So, people get married here?’
‘Of course.’
‘Well, I’ve never really followed religion out of choice.’
‘Trust me. I don’t think that Ingrid or Kayla would be too bothered either. But, that’s why the Santos clan is naturally suspicious of change. It’s either a gift from God or an omen from the devil. They are still unsure about you and that’s my fault too. I brought you into this situation. I’m sorry.’ She stared into space again. Even though they were talking, she could not help feeling remorse. She had made him what he was.
***
Steven watched his mother as she bowed her head and stared at the table. She looked totally vulnerable. Even though he struggled to feel any affection for her, he was sympathetic. He was not heartless, but he had no idea what he was supposed to say or do. She had brought him into a cursed existence and he could not see anything good about being gifted with eternal youth when you were not allowed to use its full potential.
‘I’ll be okay. Thanks for your concern.’
‘If it’s any consolation, I hated leaving you both.’
‘It’s good to know.’ Hearing it aloud brought some comfort. ‘I know it must have hurt to let us go. I understand that.’ He stared into her eyes, still confounded by the similarity to his own.
Emily looked up, and gave a weary smile, ‘I’ll always be here for you – please try and remember that.’
‘Thanks for the gesture,’ Steven said. ‘I’ve got to go. There’s always something to do.’
Steven reflected on the fact that it had been the longest conversation they had had to date. In time, he might give her a break.
Chapter 37
Lost
The next few weeks proved uneventful. Steven got into a routine, attended classes, and helped with either farming or fishing duties. The highlight of his week was always the fishing expeditions. It was refreshing to be outdoors in the midst of the Amazon River.
Jensen remained in isolation. He had tried to see him, but so far all attempts had been futile. The policy was strict – no visitors. Why all the secrecy? Without Jensen he became withdrawn. It was easy to keep all conversation to a minimum. He had plenty of female admirers. He just had no interest in getting to know any of them better. Of late, his thoughts always drifted back to Caitlin.
As he pulled on the ropes he was amazed at the sight of the fish they’d caught. ‘These fish are huge,’ he gasped, as he hauled the last one onto the boat.
‘They are called pacu,’ Ian yelled. ‘Not as deadly as the Piranha, but watch out for their teeth. They can cause some damage.’
Steven looked at the fish thrashing on the floor. It was about a metre in length, with a rounded form. Its teeth looked big – almost human.
The afternoon stretched out, as they prepared the fish for easy delivery. It would be a novelty to actually sit down and do nothing for a change. He was so tired.
Ian came up alongside him, ‘You alright?’
‘Fine, just fine,’ Steven replied. He wasn’t, but he wasn’t going to tell Ian just yet.
***
Ten minutes away from home, Ian noticed Steven retching over the side of the ship. The signals were loud and clear. Motion sickness had nothing to do with his problem.
‘Is he sick?’ Tomas asked. His overalls were soaked from hauling the fish into the enclosure. His bleached blond hair, slicked back into a ponytail completed the wet look.
‘Not sick, if you know what I mean.’ Ian rolled his eyes.
‘So, it’s actually happening then…wow,’ Tomas paused, rubbing his chin. ‘Does he need to go into isolation?’
‘We’re keeping an eye on him – but it’s not going to be long.’
‘Where will he be taken?’
‘I don’t know. It’s not my call.’
Tomas studied his face. ‘Who’s in charge then? I thought you always did it.’
Ian smiled. ‘Well, my twin sisters Anna and Emily are going to go it alone, apparently,’ he scoffed. ‘Anna always has a soft spot for helping Emily, even when it defies logic.’
‘Well, hell, I know she wants to help her sister, but…,’ he gasped, exasperated. ‘What does Juan have to say about that?’
‘I’m not getting involved. Last I checked he was furious.’
‘Emily’s never gone out to help with the change before, as far as I know of anyway.’ Tomas shrugged. ‘Can anyone else go?’
‘I don’t know, but Ingrid would be up for it – she’s taken a shine to the new boy.’
‘Girls only – sounds like a disaster. Shall I offer to go with them? Ingrid is my sister after all.’
‘If Ingrid goes along for the ride, then I agree you should go with them. Why don’t you convince Anna to take your uncle Juan along too?’ Ian suggested.
‘If you’re not getting involved, I’m not going there either. Juan is not happy Steven exists – I don’t think he’d want to help him become like us.’
‘Good point, we’ll just see if anyone sympathises. The last thing we need right now is for something to go wrong. Things are bad enough. This overcrowding problem is getting worse.’
Tomas leaned his head to the side and bit his fingernail. ‘Some of us think we would be able to defend ourselves if any human tried to take us on.’
‘Do they?’ Ian could not overlook the defiant expression on Tomas’s face. Perhaps he was not the right person to go for Steven’s change after all. ‘Do you share those views? Do you want to chance it out in the open?’
‘I’ve never really known a life out of the confines of our community. I left for the change, and went with my family to England last year. The first I barely remember. The second was cut short for obvious reasons. Saying that, I could not help but notice,’ he paused, as he rubbed his hands together, ‘how fragile humans are – compared to us. We could dominate them easily. And the fact that we can mate with them makes integration viable in the long run.’
Ian fumed. Uncharacteristically, he shouted, ‘And how would you explain your eternal youth? How could you justify killing innocent humans? You want to kill them, is that it? You are talking nonsense. Don’t talk about something you don’t fully understand.’ Ian knew Tomas was still young, his views immature.
‘Maybe,’ Tomas muttered. ‘But, there are many humans I could kill that are not so innocent. I’d be doing society a favour really.’
‘You’re not God. None of us are.??
?
‘I don’t think God exists anyway. We are the superior race on this planet – we deserve to live outside of our self-enforced borders.’
‘Have you told anyone else what you think, or are you just venting?’ Ian asked, subdued. Curiosity told him to calm down.
‘Just venting, you don’t need to think the worst of me,’ Tomas replied. With a wary smile, he added, ‘I still want to help. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t do a runner.’
‘If you ever did, I would find you,’ Ian chuckled, an underlying menace in his tone.
‘Understood.’ Tomas nodded.
‘Now, stop having too many ideas – they are dangerous after all. Get back to work,’ Ian ordered.
Tomas huffed before he turned and walked away.
Ian glanced at Steven and wondered about his chances. If he survived, the floodgates would be open for integration. The conversation with Tomas had left him cold. He knew Tomas was not the only one who believed he could live out in the open. Thoughts of integration had begun to spread like a virus, and it had started the day Steven arrived.
He had failed to anticipate the problem.
They would have to step up security. No-one could ever be allowed to escape. A fine line now divided his role as protector and that of a potential prison guard. This was not something he was proud of. How could he make people understand that a life outside their walls held no added benefits? A childhood saying popped into his mind and he cursed. It was human nature after all – the grass is always greener on the other side.
***
It should not have been possible for Steven to throw up any more, yet the bile kept on coming, relentless. As he spat out another mouthful, his throat reacted and throbbed, irritated by the acrid acid. With a loud and guttural cough the sickness subsided and he leant his head on the side railing. A few minutes later he attempted to lift his head, but he couldn’t, every movement an act of torture.
‘You alright there, Steven?’
Steven glanced over his shoulder, disoriented. It was just Ian. In a raspy voice, he managed to reply. ‘I think so. I don’t know what’s come over me. I’m not usually seasick.’
Ian seemed to hesitate before he spoke. ‘I hate to break it to you, but, I have good news. It’s not motion sickness.’
‘It’s not?’ Steven stared, bemused, just before the realisation set in. ‘It’s the change, isn’t it? How much time do I have left?’
‘I’m not sure, it’s different for everyone.’
‘So, soon I’ll become a killer,’ Steven sighed.
‘No-one thinks piranhas are killers – it’s their nature. They were born carnivorous. You know, it’s ironic. Even though the human species is constantly dominating the world, by killing animals for food and using up any available natural resources, they consider themselves civilised. Why is that?’
Steven groaned internally. He did not think he could cope with another lecture. ‘I guess I don’t know the answer to that. It just feels wrong to have to kill another human being.’
‘Some tribes considered cannibalism normal in the past,’ Ian added, smug.
‘Sure,’ Steven replied. He was too tired to argue.
‘Look, forget this, just go and get a drink and freshen up. We’ll be back soon.’
Steven dragged his feet. He could not believe the change was nearly upon him. A part of him was relieved the suspense would soon be over – finally, he would find out what his future had in store for him. On the other hand, any premature relief was short-lived. Soon, he would have to kill another human being. The main question was would he develop blood lust, or was it true that he was not destined to become an insatiable, immortal vampire? It did not matter to him if they never used the term vampire, the facts spoke for themselves. If he was going to drink human blood to survive – he was going to become a vampire.
With a sigh, Steven shuffled inside and made his way towards the kitchen. Once at the fridge he gave the door a tug. Even the small effort of opening a fridge door seemed too much. Eventually, it eased open to reveal exactly what he needed – a bottle of homemade lemonade. In no time at all, he had downed it in one.
‘Thirsty?’ Tomas asked.
Steven had not heard him come in. ‘Just a bit,’ he admitted.
‘You’ll get thirsty for more soon,’ Tomas scoffed.
‘I know.’ Steven looked into the distance. He understood the pun.
‘Don’t worry,’ Tomas continued, as he took out another bottle of lemonade. ‘You’ll feel right as rain in no time.’ He walked away and gave a low, throaty chuckle.
Steven stared at a spider scuttling across the floor and followed it, entranced by the freedom he observed. Only when the ship shuddered to a halt did he look away. He tried to find the spider again, but it had vanished and he felt a pang of jealousy – he wanted the same liberty.
Out in the open, Ian faced him again. ‘Just go Steven, you’ve helped enough. You need your rest today.’
Steven nodded and concentrated on following the path. Once inside the entrance, he made his way back along the usual route, not really paying much attention. His legs felt heavy and his head throbbed. He had no idea how long it took him to get back to his room, but as soon as he got there he threw himself on the bed and passed out.
***
‘You’re back,’ Emily scowled. ‘Finally. Where’s Steven?’
‘He’s gone already. He needed to rest,’ Ian snapped.
‘I told you not to let him go out anymore, but you did not listen,’ she rambled.
‘Emily, stop lecturing me on best practice, you’re not exactly an authority,’ Ian smirked.
Emily narrowed her eyes. She would not give him the satisfaction of replying. She was too worried about Steven to react to her brother. As she swept her hair off her face, she turned to leave.
‘Emily, stop, I need to ask you something.’ There was some urgency in Ian’s tone.
Even though she did not want to talk to him anymore she stopped. ‘What do you want now?’ she spat.
Ian stared at her and asked in a calm voice. ‘I know you want to go with Anna. Can you please reconsider? Whatever you think of me, you know I can help you.’
‘You’ve done enough already,’ she snapped. ‘I’ll go with Anna.’
‘Is Ingrid going too?’ Ian asked, a bitter tone seeping through.
‘Of course not, who mentioned her?’ Emily asked, her eyebrows furrowed.
‘She did. You know that she’s taken with Steven.’
‘Is she? Well, I think he’s got a few admirers, so she can just join the queue. It’s just going to be Anna and me. We will cope. I know you men seem to think that woman are incapable of doing things without you, but trust me, we’ll be just fine.’ Emily stormed off with her nose held high. She loathed her younger brother.
As she approached the corridor where Steven was staying, she saw a commotion up ahead. Someone was being carried away in a stretcher. She rushed up to intercept them, fearing the worst. As she neared the stretcher, she saw Steven writhing uncontrollably in a comatose state. He was foaming at the mouth. It was time.
‘I’m coming with you,’ she shouted, as she stared into Steven’s expressionless eyes.
She hated the change.
Once they had arrived at the preparation chamber and placed Steven on a bed, Emily took hold of his hand. He had stopped convulsing, but his face was covered in sweat, his jet black hair matted against his scalp. His body quivered and his breathing sounded irregular and forced. With her other hand, she reached out and stroked his face. She could still see a flicker of the little boy she had left behind. A tear crept down her cheek and she wiped it away. She needed to stay focused.
‘Is it time?’ Anna placed her hand on her sister’s shoulder.
‘Yes, we have to leave,’ Emily replied.
Anna walked around her sister and crouched down to face her. ‘Emily you don’t have to pretend that you don’t care. Embrace the fact that you are scared and w
orried about him. He is your only child.’
Emily looked up, tears streaming down her cheek. ‘What have I done? Why did I…?’ She could not finish the sentence, as she found herself gulping for air before she erupted into a hysterical sob.
Chapter 38
It’s Time
Anna embraced her sister and smiled. Finally, the ice had melted. Crying would help ease Emily’s tension. She could feel her own mood start to lift as the tears took away some of the pain. Emily continued to shake for a few more minutes until she started to calm down and breathe normally, through a stifled sob.
‘Better now?’ Anna tried to sound reassuring. She would be there for Emily.
‘Definitely,’ Emily admitted, with a childish giggle.
‘You know, you have nothing to be ashamed about. For too long, you’ve kept your distance. It’s not weak to show emotion. You are human too, even though you think you are a monster. Now let’s sort ourselves out and make your son better.’
‘Yes, Mum,’ Emily teased. ‘You always were better than me at knowing what to do in a bad situation.’
‘Maybe, but I don’t know if I would have been selfless enough to leave my son for his own good,’ Anna admitted.
‘You would have done the same thing if you thought there was the slightest chance he would be able to lead a normal human life.’
‘Maybe … you know, what I don’t understand is – how did you keep your emotions to yourself for all this time?’
Emily faltered and then answered, ‘Self-preservation. I did not only lose a son – I lost a husband too.’
Anna gave her a final hug, and winked. She would go and get the bags and equipment ready for the journey.
Anna had a heavy heart, as she watched Emily carry her son like a baby. Now, she looked like a mother. Even though Anna had seen grown men or woman being carried away like feathers in the past, it still looked strange to see her petite sister effortlessly lifting her nearly twenty-year-old son.
The dugout was loaded with bags and supplies. Emily placed Steven carefully in the middle and covered him with a blanket. He was still shaking and running a fever.
Emily sat in the front, Anna at the rear. They were ready to go.
‘It’s time,’ Anna said, giving the best reassuring smile she could muster.