He finished his breakfast and got up to go. ‘I’ll go and ask if anyone has seen him. He probably needs a friend.’
‘Somehow I think you’re the only one he’ll talk to,’ she said.
‘Maybe. I’ll see you later?’ he asked.
She gave a small smile, and then bit her lip. ‘Later.’
Jensen hoped later would hurry up.
***
Steven felt foolish as he walked back to his room. He could not understand what he had been so angry about earlier. After leaving Lucy, he was definitely more relaxed. As he rounded the corner, a figure came into view. Someone was leaning against his door.
‘I’d almost given up on you. A part of me wondered if you’d figured out how to escape.’ Ian chuckled. He sounded relaxed and his hair fell loosely around his face, giving him a dishevelled appearance.
‘No such luck,’ Steven muttered. Even though Ian came across as friendly, he would never forget that Ian had been responsible for kidnapping Caitlin. A part of him acknowledged the fact things could have got ugly if he had stayed in Southampton – he could have killed Caitlin when he changed! So, he guessed he had reached an impasse. He did not hate Ian. He just doubted he’d ever be happy to see him.
‘Shame. Are you having a bad day?’ Ian asked, as he folded his arms over his chest.
‘I’ve had better ones. What do you want, Ian?’
‘Look, my sister is not going to be happy if you’re not. Let’s talk, okay?’ Ian said.
It was clear the discussion was not optional.
‘Come on in,’ Steven said, as he walked past Ian and made his way into his room.
‘So, I see that you got your stuff back,’ Ian remarked, in an obvious attempt to be friendly.
Steven looked at his things and wondered how it was possible for his meagre items to bring out so many memories. ‘So tell me, how exactly did you do it anyway? How did you erase me?’
‘You really want to know?’
Steven sat down on his red reclining chair, leant back to look at the stone ceiling, and paused. He turned to face Ian and challenged, ‘Try me.’
‘Okay then,’ Ian smirked. ‘After our little get-together in the woods, we managed to sedate both of you. We left you in your rooms to sleep and, of course, Eilif erased Caitlin’s memory. Meanwhile, we took a trip up to your home town and packed up your room whilst your parents were sleeping. We placed everything in containers ready for shipment to arrive at the same time as us.’
‘Those were the extra things we drove to the ship.’
‘Yes. Eilif then had to cast his hypnotic enchantment around to make sure that everyone who had ever known you forgot about you. Don’t ask me how that works, I have no idea.’
Steven interrupted. ‘But, what if someone was away – they’d still remember me wouldn’t they?’
‘The enchantment captures anyone with a memory of you. That’s why it reached out to Southampton as well. To be foolproof, he also placed an aura over you that would prevent anyone coming near you from recognising you.’
‘Is it permanent?’
‘As far as we know, it’s always worked for us in the past. No-one will ever know you existed.’
‘And then?’
‘Eilif used his abilities to ensure you were erased from every government system with a record of your existence. The only one we kept active, until we arrived in Brazil, was your passport – you needed that one to travel. Then, we drove back to Southampton and waited for your call.’
‘How did you clear my room?’
‘That was fun actually,’ Ian smiled, as though it was amusing. ‘No-one knew who you were anyway, so we pretended to be cleaners. We had taken a copy of your key, so we used it to clear out the place. We got some strange looks from some of the students, and I think someone even registered that the halls did not have cleaners, but Eilif erased any mention of us to be sure.’
‘You had it all figured out,’ Steven remarked, his voice laced in sarcasm.
‘You know the rest, so are you satisfied now?’
‘You’re sure no-one will ever remember me.’
‘There is no certainty in life,’ Ian said, his face serious, ‘but it’s highly unlikely anyone will ever consciously remember you.’
‘What does that mean?’ Steven hated the fact everything was so ambiguous.
‘We checked up on some of Eilif’s victims over the years. You know, to see if the effects were long-lasting. Only once, did we hear of a situation.’ Ian paused.
Steven noted the unease. ‘What was the situation?’
Ian brushed it off. ‘Nothing serious, the woman dreamt about what happened, and came up with a great story. It actually got published and became a bestseller! The funny thing is it was all true.’
‘What was the story?’ He had nothing to lose by finding out as much as possible.
‘It was about a vampire that did not kill humans. Even though Eilif did drink her blood she lived to tell the tale. Eilif hypnotised her to forget, when he saw she was still alive. He did not want to kill her. She seemed to remember his sympathy. It was a moment of weakness – it happens to us all sometimes.’
‘So, not everyone kills?’
‘No, not all of us kill. For a change, it is essential, so all of us will be killers at least once in our lives. Can you live with that?’
‘I have no choice but to live with it,’ Steven said, as he sat on his bed and stared at the picture in the frame.
‘So do you choose to live, or to wallow in self-pity?’ The question hung unanswered, before Ian added with enthusiasm, ‘I could really use someone with your skills on deck, but I need to know that you are with me, not trying to find a way to escape.’
Steven continued to avert his eyes. He knew that at the first sign of an escape, he would take it.
Ian laughed, as though he had understood the meaning of Steven’s expression. ‘Did you really think that we would not know that you would want to escape? This is not a prison, Steven, it’s your home. We are protecting you as well as others. People’s lives are at stake.’
‘I will never kill anyone again,’ Steven stated.
‘You know that for sure, do you? You want to risk going back even though you might not be able to resist the temptation. I’m sorry but we can’t allow that. Hell, even I can’t stop myself from killing, and I’ve been practising for years. What do you think makes you so special?’ Ian’s tone was taking on an edge of annoyance.
‘I’m not like you,’ Steven shouted, unable to contain his frustration, ‘You don’t know anything about me. I’m more human than you will ever be, so how can you be sure that I’m not lying. I repeat – I will never kill again.’
‘Fine, be like that,’ Ian huffed. ‘You’ll be confined to work in the retail shops and to taking classes until you see some sense. Maybe you can take out some of your frustration on making bread. I’ll see you later.’ Ian turned around and walked a few paces. Then he turned, and added with a hint of sadness, ‘I’m not your enemy, someday you’ll appreciate that fact.’
Steven kept quiet, got up from his chair and stopped short of slamming his fist into the stone walls. The lack of natural light made him claustrophobic. His thoughts drifted to home. He’d give anything to go back. If only he’d enjoyed his freedom more.
A knock on the door startled him; surely Ian was not back for more. When he opened the door he was relieved to see a friendly face.
‘You alright, Steven?’
Steven gave Jensen a noncommittal smile. He hoped he could trust him. ‘No, but that’s pretty obvious isn’t it?’ Steven mumbled, dejected. After a pause, he added, ‘Look I’m sorry for my outburst yesterday. I haven’t had enough time to take this all in.’
‘Fair enough.’
‘I’m not the same as you. I have not been raised to think that what I am is normal.’
‘You are one of us, Steven. That’s not an option. Look, I haven’t come to make things hard for you. If you want to t
alk, you know where I am.’ As Jensen turned to go, Steven was torn. He needed a friend.
***
‘Steven is angry,’ Anna frowned.
‘I know he is,’ Emily sighed; she had heard about Steven’s outburst the previous day. ‘I don’t know how to help him. I’m pretty sure he hates me.’
‘You don’t know that, Emily,’ Anna huffed, waving her hands in the air. ‘We need to find a way to help him. I can’t stand feeling your emotional trauma – you are driving me crazy.’
Emily knew Anna found the link draining. Unlike Emily, Anna always maintained a very positive outlook on life. If Emily could have wished for anything, it would have been to have their connection severed. She hated the fact that Anna always knew when something was wrong.
‘What do you suggest?’
‘Be a mother, that’s all,’ Anna replied, as she took a seat on a black leather sofa chair in the corner of the room.
‘Easy for you to say, you know what it is to bring up your child. I’ve got a huge gap in my knowledge base.’
‘Look I know that you didn’t raise him, but you did give birth to him. You cared for him as a baby. That counts for something. He won’t expect you to know him. I just think that if you don’t even try to find out, then you’ll never know. Will you?’
‘You’re right, as always,’ Emily sighed, ‘What can I do?’
‘You know, I think I have an idea,’ Anna mused. She tapped her nose and smiled, a twinkle in her eye.
It was always worrying when Anna had a plan.
Chapter 44
Relationships
Jensen tousled his hair as he sat up in bed. An image of Susanna remained vivid in his mind and he smiled. Ever since his change he had realised every thought seemed more vibrant, alive. The sluggish sensation he had been plagued with prior to his change had completely vanished. For this, he was extremely grateful. What the change meant for him – he had no idea. He gave a muffled laugh as he mulled over the fact Emily wanted him to advise Steven. It was laughable really. He wasn’t exactly an expert. He needed a confidant of his own. At least for the next year there would be support. As far as he knew there was a rigorous series of assessments designed to discover extra abilities, as well as those clarifying their history and responsibility. It would definitely help Steven. That is, if Steven agreed to attend.
When Jensen made his way towards the dining area, a tempting aroma of eggs and tomatoes wafted through the air. Portion in hand he moved to sit at his familiar seat. It was silly to pretend he was intending to sit somewhere else, but he had to keep up appearances. With a strategic and well-rehearsed manoeuvre, he headed in the direction Susanna was sitting and faked surprise when she waved. Coincidentally, a spare seat happened to be next to her. He gave a half-smile and a curt nod. They both knew how to give fate a helping hand.
‘May I?’ he asked, in an attempt to keep up the appearance of friendship.
‘Jensen, good morning, course you can sit here,’ Susanna replied.
Jensen felt himself waver as he focused on her sparkling emerald eyes. They never failed to entrance him.
After he sat down, Gideon shook his head. ‘You know, you’re not fooling anyone,’ he commented, an amused grin plastered on his face.
‘What do you mean, Gideon?’ Susanna’s mother, Lina, asked.
It was typical of Gideon to pipe up when she was around. Jensen knew the question was not innocent. As if sharing his thoughts, Susanna shot a warning glance in Gideon’s direction. Jensen knew if she had been close enough she would have kicked him under the table. Jensen was not stupid. He knew he was tenuously related to Susanna. Susanna’s grandmother Catherine was also Jensen’s great aunt. Jensen and Susanna had discussed the issue and come to the conclusion that the fact that they were seen as friends would hide the fact there was anything more to it. After the change, Susanna’s parents would not be able to stop them from being together – if Susanna chose him.
Gideon pretended to stifle a laugh by coughing loudly. ‘Sorry, Mum, Susanna was just making a joke with me about something else.’
Lina seemed to survey her children with curiosity. Jensen eyed her suspiciously. It would be amazing if anyone had failed to notice the amount of time Jensen spent with Susanna. Tenuous links could not stop relationships from happening. The only clean option was for Susanna to fall for a son of Morten and Arla Clausen. However, since their boys were already partnered, and all their other children were girls it left very few options open for Susanna.
Unless Lina was willing to wait for them to have a son, and hope that after twenty years he would choose Susanna for a mate. Jensen could not imagine Lina would expect Susanna to wait that long.
‘Jensen, are you coping well with your change?’ Lina asked. The question took him by surprise.
‘U-up to now,’ he stuttered. ‘I have no idea what else is coming up.’
‘You’ll find out soon, I’m sure. How is Steven?’ Lina asked. Again he was surprised at her concern.
‘I don’t want to speak for him, but I think it’s fair to say that he’s been better,’ Jensen admitted, as he placed a large helping of eggs and toast in his mouth. If she saw he was eating, she might hold back on the questions.
‘Susanna, Gideon – are you heading off to class soon?’ Lina asked.
Gideon stood up, ‘I am.’ He picked up his plate and cup to take to the clearing area and cheerfully told everyone that he’d see them later.
Susanna toyed with her last mouthful of yoghurt, before placing it in her mouth and glancing across at Jensen. Finished, she had no choice but to leave. ‘I guess I should go too. See you, Mum. I’ll see you around, Jensen.’
Her eyes looked sad. Jensen sensed and hoped she did not want to leave.
As Susanna left the table, Jensen downed his juice and made to get up.
‘Jensen, can I ask you something?’ Lina moved to the seat next to him.
Jensen looked at Lina and noticed that Susanna had her mother’s eyes. He felt uncomfortable and instantly worried about what she was going to ask. ‘Sure, if there is something I can help you with.’
‘Are you in love with my daughter?’ she whispered.
Jensen gulped, before he decided to throw caution to the wind. With confidence, he replied, ‘Yes.’
Lina smiled, her eyes kind, ‘Good, better to hear it straight. I like it when a man is honest. When the time comes you will have my blessing – now stop worrying, or you will make people know before they have to.’
Jensen smiled. ‘Thanks, it means a lot. You won’t regret it.’ After stacking his plate and cutlery, he got up and gave her a half-smile. A cheery whistle escaped as he made his way to class.
***
Emily wrung her hands together as she approached Steven’s room. She would find it unbearable if he was mean to her again. Even though she acknowledged he had every reason to blame her, nothing eased the blow. She was convinced her only son hated her. She wished he could see things from her side. There had been no other option. She could not stand by and watch him die. She had to enable the change. And now, even though Jensen had tried to reassure her, she was not convinced Steven was handling things well at all. All she could do was hold onto the hope that Anna’s idea would cheer him up.
She made her way down the silent corridor. It felt eerie when no-one was around. By now, everyone was either having breakfast or working. The electric lighting radiating from the cables overhead would never compensate for natural sunlight. They made the corridor glow in an unnatural way, casting a range of shadows of different shapes and sizes as the light came into contact with the rough walls of rock.
At the entrance to Steven’s room, she knocked and waited for a reply. When none came, she grabbed the handle. It was pitch black inside. The only sound being Steven’s deep breathing. When her eyesight adjusted she breathed a sigh of relief – night vision was a handy side effect. The floor was littered with stuff, as though Steven had thrown everything he owned. She ho
ped he had not done it in anger. He would regret it if any of his personal belongings were ruined.
It was hard for her to think anyone would intentionally make so much mess. She thrived on order. On autopilot, she started to tidy his things. She could do something to help after all – even if it was just housework. When she inadvertently rustled the books on the floor, Steven jerked up. A second later the light switch flicked on – he was obviously still on autopilot. He did not need light to see.
‘Who’s there?’ He rubbed his eyes. Slowly, they focused on her. ‘Oh, it’s you,’ he said, in a dry, monotonous voice. ‘What do you want?’
Emily had the feeling she should have waited a few more days. Either way, she doubted the extra time would change the way he saw her. Her nose flared as she decided enough was enough. ‘Steven, you don’t need to talk to me like that. What has happened is in the past. You need to look to the future now. You can’t just sleep all day and hope your existence ceases to occur. Get out of bed and come with me, I have something to cheer you up.’ Emily inwardly gave a huge cheer – she had never sounded so assertive in her life. She sounded just like her mother.
Steven stared, eyes wide, as if taken aback. After a painstaking minute, his shoulders relaxed. ‘Okay, if you wait outside, I’ll get ready.’
Emily waited. It was weird to hang around the corridor. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the door edge open. She turned to face him with an enthusiastic grin. She was pulling out all the stops. ‘Are you ready?’
‘Can I eat something first?’
‘Of course you can,’ she sighed, relieved he was acting normal again.
Over breakfast, Steven asked, ‘So, what do you have in store for me then?’
‘Lessons.’
‘In what – how to be a hermit?’ he chuckled.
She frowned, unable to suppress her annoyance. ‘We are not hermits.’
‘You sure fooled me. I always thought that people who liked to keep to themselves were hermits. It’s easier to hide in a shell than to confront the problem.’
She composed herself and adopted her new assertive tone, ‘Living within a community is not what a hermit would do. We don’t live in isolation.’