I moved towards her with a smile, almost forgetting my trolley. And in a few seconds, there I was, right in front of her, a foot apart, still not able to take my gaze off her.
‘Hey,’ I said, offering my right hand for a shake.
‘Hi,’ she responded, politely and in such an elegant way, touching me for the first time with that hand shake. (Did you hear what I said? The first time we touched … It was magical!)
And her eyes … So beautiful! There was something special in them. Something which didn’t let me look away. I wanted to hear what they were telling me. The feeling, the truth of the moment, the … the … I don’t know what it was.
I looked, and my eyes were stuck on you
I tried to move the black in them, but they were stuck like glue
Looking at you for real, I noticed your eyes
That’s exactly where your entire beauty lies
So genuine, so honest, so beautiful, so deep
With a glint of light, some naughtiness did creep
Finding my dream coming true
I pleaded my shivering lips to bring out the words I had kept for you
There were so many things to say
I can remember none of them at all
But, I don’t lose with that, I do things my own way …
‘… And this is my sister Neeru and he is Girish—her best and only friend,’ she broke my gaze and thoughts to introduce me to two other people. I wondered how I didn’t notice them standing beside us. Was I so lost in her? Undoubtedly, I was.
I said hello to both of them, cracking some jokes to ease the sweet pressure which Khushi and I were feeling. Then we moved out of the exit channel towards the parking lot in search of the cab these guys had come to the airport in. Khushi was too shy to walk with me and she joined Neeru and Girish in looking for the cab. I followed at a distance, with my trolley. My condition was no different from her.
I wrote her a very short SMS, then, ‘You are damn hot!’
The next moment I saw her coming towards me from the other side of the exit, looking at something on her cellphone, probably reading my SMS.
When she reached me, she smiled.
‘Thanks,’ she said.
‘I love this. Whatever is happening. The excitement, the anxiety. And seeing you,’ I said.
And in her shyness, she turned away, her hair falling across her eyes again. Her complete attention was upon me, yet she was trying to escape my gaze.
‘Hey. Am I making sense? Or am I being stupid?’ I asked.
She laughed and turned back to me. She had a lot of teeth. ‘No you’re making sense, actually. It’s the same with me,’ she said, smiling.
Soon, Neeru and Girish appeared, pointing at the cab which was coming towards us. It became clear that I was expected to step into the cab first, and because of this I panicked.
Where should I sit? I asked myself. In the back, with her? But will it look good if I sit between the two sisters, pushing Girish to the front? Should I sit in front, then? Or should I sit in the back, but on the left, with Girish in middle and Khushi at the right. And her sister with the driver? No. No. What a mess! So many permutations and combinations to be solved in a second. It was beyond the abilities of my brain. Better sit up front, I thought. It was the easiest solution.
And in haste and alarm I got in beside the driver. ‘You fool. What is she going to think of you? Why didn’t you sit behind, beside her?’ my not-so-talented brain shouted at me the very next second. Damn! I was screwing up things with my stupidity. I was sitting apart from my own girlfriend.
Barely a minute later, I got a call on my cell. Mom calling.
‘Shit! She asked me to call her the moment I landed in Delhi. I forgot,’ I murmured as I took the call. ‘Haanji Mumma, I just came out of the airport,’ I said before she asked me anything.
‘I knew you will forget. Now tell me,’ she said
‘Tell me? What?’ I asked, though I knew she probably had a hundred questions for me, about Khushi, which I couldn’t answer because I was with them in the cab.
But she didn’t ask me all those questions. Just one, which summarized all of them, ‘So, are you happy?’
‘Oh Mom! I am … I am very happy,’ I replied quietly, looking outside the window.
‘Good. I just wanted to know that. I know you won’t want to talk to me at this moment. So you guys enjoy and we will talk later. All right?’
‘Haanji Mumma, theek hai. I will call you later. Bye.’
We were now on our way to the hotel, which I was to move into for slightly more than a day before I left for the US. I had no idea where this hotel was, nor did the cab driver. Khushi and Girish said they did but both were pointing in opposite directions. In other words no one had a clue. But we moved ahead thinking we’d soon ask somebody about the precise location.
What an evening that was! I was sitting beside the driver and behind me was my sweetheart, with Neeru in the middle and Girish on her right. The song selection on the radio seemed to be exceptionally good that day—romantic songs that Khushi and I could relate to—and we sat listening to them without saying anything, but smiling within.
These moments of silence only added to the beauty of the songs. I tried to see her in the rearview mirror but, every time, I’d only find Girish’s funny face and he would raise his eyebrows, mocking me.
Soon, however, our formal demeanor gave way to a more casual one and we started talking about each other, at times pulling each other’s leg, recalling some stupid incidents out of the blue and spicing them up as we narrated them. Khushi became an easy target for both Neeru and Girish and they mimicked her embarrassment that day, before seeing me. We were shouting and partying in the cab with the patties and the pastries they had brought.
‘Yeh lo, ladki vaalon ki taraf se,’ Girish said offering me the box of pastries.
We were in a jolly mood and, adding to the delight, it started drizzling outside. Shouting, laughing, going crazy to those peppy numbers, we were having a gala time in the cab. On a few occasions, secretly, she pinched me from behind, and I just loved that.
For more than an hour and a half, we hunted for my hotel on the streets of Delhi. And, more than anybody (even me), Khushi was concerned about this. According to her, I was tired from my journey and needed some rest, but I wondered why I didn’t feel that way.
It was around 7.30 in the evening when we finally reached the Qutub Din hotel, in the vicinity of the Qutub Minar, thanks to the chaiwalas and paanwalas. We all entered the hotel and, at the reception, I checked out my booking.
‘Room no. 301. That way, sir. The boy will bring your luggage in,’ said a man with a huge moustache, at the reception counter.
‘All right,’ I said and we all headed towards 301, everyone following me.
Neeru and Girish were talking to each other in whispers when Khushi said something to me, very politely
‘Can you walk a little slower? You’ve left me behind.’
And I realized why people say that girls are far more mature than guys. I was a fool, earlier, leaving her on the backseat of the cab and taking the front one. And here, again, I was walking alone, leaving her behind. I started panicking, not knowing how to handle such situations. I was a boyfriend for the first time. A fresher in the school of romance.
‘God! Please help me,’ I muttered and decelerated.
She came closer to me and said, ‘Now you’re not alone. You have a girl in your life. So walk beside her.’
Behind us, Neeru and Girish smiled naughtily.
‘Won’t they leave us alone for a while?’ I thought. But how could they hear my thoughts? They kept following us.
We were at 301. I opened the door to my room and we all went in.
The room was well lit. A small table, with a telephone and a flower vase, separating the two beds. Nice bed-sheets. There was a telephone directory and a menu beside the TV set, across from the beds. A giant mirror on the wall in front of us which refl
ected the entire room, including those two beds and a cupboard near the entrance. Beside the mirror, there was a door to the washroom.
‘Hmm … This is good,’ I announced.
‘Yeah’, ‘Yup’, ‘Hmm …’ the people surrounding me murmured. Then, Girish started his survey of the room, analysing everything and telling me the good and the bad.
‘Thanks Girish,’ I said, when he had finished. ‘Anytime,’ he acknowledged.
After which I wanted to ask him just one more question—‘So when are you going to leave us alone, for heaven’s sake!?’ Instead, I just kept mum, hoping my eyes would do the talking. And Neeru finally understood that they should better leave us alone for a while. She whispered to Girish and I don’t know what was making the three of them look at each other and smile. I hoped they were not joking about me.
‘We are going to a nearby place to have something. If you guys want, we can get something for you,’ Girish said, moving towards the door with Neeru.
‘No. I’m stuffed,’ I said. ‘Wow! At last,’ I thought.
‘Girish, if we need something, I will call you up. And take care of Neeru. Don’t leave her alone, all right?’ Khushi said, opening the Bisleri bottle placed on the table.
‘Yes, I will. You don’t worry. By the way, it’s 8.30 now. We should leave Delhi by 9 so that we can reach Faridabad by about 10.15.
We’re already late, you know na?’
‘Yeah. But don’t worry, we will manage,’ said Khushi.
‘All right. See ya.’
And finally they left the room and I took a deep breath to relax.
I went and locked the door while Khushi took a last sip of water from the bottle. She noticed me doing that and smiled, then she kept the bottle on the table and my laptop bag on the chair. I stepped between the two beds and sat on the left one. She came in and sat on the right one, just in front of me. We were together, just the two of us. Our smiles described our mood.
That moment seemed to be a beautiful dream. We wanted to feel and live that moment forever. The person with whom I was going to spend the rest of my life was right in front of me. I could look into her beautiful eyes, I could touch her, feel her. The delight of that moment had both of us spellbound. Words were unnecessary. I stared at her for a long time. And when she could not handle my gaze, she looked at the ground, her neck tilting down and strands of her beautiful hair falling in front of her shoulder, covering her right cheek and ear.
And the silence in the room persisted, and there we were, madly in love. Still not believing that, finally, we had seen each other. Still nervous, still wondering what to say.
Gathering her courage, she looked up, into my eyes (which were still focused on her) and moving her hair behind her ear again, she asked, ‘Safar mein koi takleef to nahi hui?’
Coming as it did, after more than five minutes of silence, that question sounded hilarious. It reminded us both of the old Bollywood movies in which the heroine would ask her beloved, ‘Suniye ji, aapke safar mein …’ and all that. Before she could see my reaction, she understood what a stupid and stereotypical question it was, and we looked at each other and laughed and laughed, falling upon our respective beds. But that question also became an ice breaker and we both relaxed.
‘Ha ha ha ha! Yeah, I mean, nahi koi takleef nahi hui,’ I said, getting up.
‘I am so stupid,’ she said, slapping her forehead.
‘Nah, you’re not. You are … beautiful,’ I said calmly, looking into her eyes.
And I don’t know what gave me the courage to raise my right hand towards her, to reach her face. My fingers first touched her cheek, the middle finger first, then the first finger and then all of them, helping her hair behind her ear. That human touch was incredible. Feeling my fingers on her face, she closed her eyes and I felt her breathing heavily now. I watched her. Her good-looking face, the lines on her forehead, appearing and vanishing. Her curved eyelashes. Her cute nose. Her soft lips, which I very gently rubbed my thumb on, and she started shaking, her eyes still closed and her hands gripping the bed-sheet very tight. My eyes were the silent observers to this moment we both were in. My mind was hypnotized and fingers were still trying to understand the beautiful face before me. Occasionally, I felt her warm breath breaking on my cold fingers.
My consciousness asked me whether what was happening was real and then it answered itself—I was not dreaming. She was real. She was with me. Deep inside, I felt so satisfied, so blessed that the moment when my angel was in front of me had finally arrived.
We were lost. Lost in each other.
‘Shonimoni,’ I whispered in her ears, silently, getting close to her, very close. She was still breathing heavily and couldn’t say anything. ‘This is a wonderful moment. I can’t believe this. You are with me …’
I moved almost to her bed.
‘Shona!’ she said and grabbed my hand.
In a while, very slowly, she opened her eyes and looked at me and smiled. She was so happy, so delighted to have me so close to her. And she kept looking at me in that way, for some time.
Raising her eyebrows slightly and still smiling, she asked me, ‘Tell me, how you are feeling at this instant, with me?’
I put my arms around her and biting her ear, I said, ‘Don’t ask me. I won’t be able to describe it. I just want to say one thing …’ Then, I whispered in her ear, ‘I am madly in love with you.’ With that, I rested my chin on her shoulder.
‘I love you too,’ she said and moved her fingers all the way from my forearms, to the wrist, then the palm and finally into the spaces between my fingers. At that moment, I felt so complete. I realized how, just like me, she too wanted to live that moment as if it should never end.
I held her in my arms for some time. From the romantic movies I had seen till then, I knew that holding your beloved in your arms that way is such a different feeling. But that it would be so magical, I never knew. To understand and believe certain things, you have to experience them. And love is one such thing. Hmmm … Actually, it’s not a thing—it’s a lot more than that. We were speechless again, just feeling each other. But who needed to talk? Silence was talking at its best. But threatening the silence, another thought crept into my heart, all of a sudden … Should I kiss her? And, with that, the battle between my heart and mind started. Heart: Yes. Mind: No. Heart: Why not? This is such a perfect moment. I think I should. Mind: What if she doesn’t feel good about it? After all, this is just your first date. Heart: But will I get a moment like this again? Tomorrow, her entire family will be around us. No time, then. And the next day I have to take my flight. I should take a chance right now … Mind: Chance? First, look into the mirror and ask yourself if you can do this in the first day itself? Heart: Stop that nonsense. I am going ahead. Mind: Good luck. Heart: Thanks … Mind: Hey wait a sec. Heart: Now what?
Mind: Are you comfortable? May be you want to use the loo first … It helps, you know.
Heart: Shut up! Now, this happens to me most of the time. Sometimes, I think, I am not too strong, mentally. And that’s why my heart always wins. But, to be very honest, I just love that.
I oxygenated my lungs with a deep breath and turned her almost 180 degrees. We now were facing each other. My arms were still around her, her hands were on my shoulders. I looked into her eyes.
I grabbed her
Looked straight into her eyes
I told her, I do things
And I do them in my own way.
I was prepared to feel something for the very first time in my life and—I won’t lie—my heartbeats, at that moment, were faster than Schumacher in his Ferrari. I looked into her eyes and drew close.
I grabbed her
Looked straight into her eyes
With a wink, I drew her close
My lips moved, but this time not to say
I told her, I do things
And I do them in my own way.
Yes, it was going to be my first ever kiss …
But!
r /> But … How I hate to the word B-U-T.
But fate had to intervene and Girish, playing devil, called her up on her cell. The ringtone shattered my utopia and, before I could reach her lips, she wanted to answer the call. And before she could answer the call, she looked at the clock. ‘Oh my God! It’s 9! N-I-N-E!’ she said, (no, she screamed) and stretched to reach her cellphone.
‘It’s Girish,’ she said, pressing the answer button.
While she was talking to Girish, I collapsed on the bed in total dismay, wondering at Girish’s sense of timing. How could he be so perfect? I was fuming inside.
All the while, she continued with that call:
‘Haan bolo.’
‘Yeah, I know we have to leave.’ She turned her back to me and walked towards the door which was locked from inside.
‘No, we don’t want anything to eat.’ She looked back at me and gestured with her other hand to ask me if I was hungry.
‘Yes Girish, just five more minutes yaar.’ She clenched and unclenched her fist.
‘Arey, I know baba. I said na, we will manage,’ and she looked at herself in the mirror.
‘Now will you please hang up? Pleaseeeee?’ She turned her back towards the mirror.
‘Yeah, we will be there in five minutes. All right? Bye now.’ And she came to me, disconnecting the call. She was panicking, all of a sudden.
‘Shona! I have to leave. I am getting late. Mom must be about to call.’
‘Hmm … All right. Don’t worry, you’ll be on time. Where are Neeru and Girish?’ I tried to comfort her and, more importantly, to extinguish the fire that had just now been burning in me.
‘At the reception,’ she answered.
‘Ok. And I guess you guys will be going by the same cab,’ I asked, getting up from the bed and taking a sip of water from the half-filled bottle.
‘Yes, the same cab,’ she said, getting up and moving towards the mirror again.
Then her cellphone rang again and, again, it was Girish. I picked up the call this time.
‘Hey, I guess you should hurry up. It has started raining again,’ he said.