CHAPTER 20
“Hello Rachel.” I greeted Beck’s mom as she opened the door for me. I came running here and I am a little out of breath.
“Hi darling, how have you been?” Rachel asked me feeling concerned and sad.
“I am fine Rachel.” I replied and smiled. I am trying really hard to control my excitement. I just want to run to her room and hug her and sort everything out. “Is Becky home?”
“Yes, she is up in her room. You may go and see her!” she too seemed excited of us patching up. I went upstairs and as I proceeded, I could hear shouting noises, but I couldn’t make out what were they talking about. When I finally reached Becky’s room I saw Jake and her fighting. It’s okay, maybe just a friendly brother-sister fight.
“What is the matter with you? Why don’t you understand that she is my good friend.” Boomed Jake’s voice.
“Your good friend, my foot. She ruined your party, how can she be good?” shouted Becky.
Oh my God. They are fighting because of me. I feel terrible. This was not supposed to happen. We should have been laughing not shouting. Tears started to pour out of my eyes and I just couldn’t stop them.
“It was not her mistake that I stepped in at that very moment.” Jake tried to explain.
“Stop taking her side. You are my brother, remember?” she snapped at him.
“I am not taking any side, truth is the truth. You fought with her over a stupid party and you are fighting with me too.”
“It was not a stupid party, and you don’t know anything.” She said furiously and turned around. Her back towards Jake.
“The thing I do understand is that you are being completely unreasonable and illogical. You can’t just blame everything on Ashley. It was your fault too. She had a crappy and a rough day and she needed you, you acted like the worst best friend ever.”
“And like she acted as a very good best friend. She only cared about that Emma girl. She used to spend so much time with her. She completely forgot about me.”
“Ahhh…. This is the true thing. You are jealous and insecure of Emma. How can you behave like this? You don’t even know Emma, what all she is going through. You don’t know anything about Emma and you have been so insensitive.”
“Please Jake stop it, I am not jealous of anyone and I am not insensitive. And you know what, screw that Emma and that bloody Ashley and the bloody you.” Becky screamed at her brother. This is the last straw, I can’t hear anymore. I cannot believe my ears, did Becky speak all those words. They really did hurt me. My tears flooded my face. How could she be so rude and mean and behave like a bitch. I felt so humiliated that I couldn’t stand there anymore, I ran down the stairs and without even seeing Rachel I darted out of their room. I know that is rude but I can’t help it. I was never the person who eavesdrops on others but this was a mistake and I got to learn so much. She actually thinks that Emma was more important to me. But now Emma is more important to me and Becky, well I hate her. I started to walk slowly towards my house and tears never stopped flowing. My enthusiasm, my excitement, my friendship, my trust all went in vain. I was ready to say sorry again after her bitch behavior and she was still against me. She hasn’t realized her mistake till now. Now, enough is enough, I am done with her, just done. She was a chapter of past and now I have turned the page. I wiped my tears and tried to be strong but they don’t stop coming. Passers-by stared at me as though I am an alien who has landed from a far away planet.
I reached my home and without saying a single word I went to my bedroom, the place where Beck and I once used to hang out and have the best moments of our life. We have been together for such a long time and yet she doesn’t know me, doesn’t understand me. She didn’t felt sorry for shouting at me instead she started playing the blame game. Jake was absolutely right in there, I was not the only one at fault. We are not kids anymore but she has been behaving like one. She is cribbing over that party, the party Jake wasn’t even interested in. Suddenly my tears of pain change into tears of agony. I want to go and punch her in the face (although I have done that 3 times in my head). I was angry at her, I was disappointed in her, I hated her, and still I didn’t wanted Jake and Becky to fight because of me. God! It is so confusing and disturbing. What the hell to do? My life has been a rollercoaster ride for so long now, I am really tired. I am tired with this daily drama. One day is so good and the other is the complete disaster. I have so much going on lately and I just want to sit back and relax but that doesn’t seem possible. I cannot stop thinking about Jake and Becky’s fight. All the stuff Becky said stabbed me right in my heart but I cannot be the reason they both fight. Maybe, I should stay away from Jake. I know they both love each other a lot. I have seen their relationship, it is so special. They have this special brother-sister bond that is so pure and cute. I don’t want them to hold any grudges against each other because of me. The best solution, at this moment, is that I stay away from both of them. I know it is tough but it is right. I have no right to spoil their relationship. WOW, first I lose my best friend and then the man who makes me go weak in my knees. Hell of a weekend. I closed my eyes and tried to shut everyone out but all I could see was images of Jake and Becky and my special moments with them. More tears flow from my eyes draining all my energy with them. I felt that all the burden of the world is on my shoulders. I want to lock myself in this room forever. This is really hard for me. I went to get my friend back but instead I lost my love, my Jake. Jake the most wonderful guy I will ever meet. It’ll be too hard to ignore him and his crystal blue, magical eyes. Just the thought of him makes me weak and makes me weep like a child. Stop Ashley, he is just another guy. I will find hundreds of them better than him or hundreds of them worst than him, but I will never find someone like him. It hurts so bad, it’s not like we are breaking up but still it hurts. I don’t know why, he wasn’t even mine. I am a complete and total mess and I cannot help it. I am helpless and heartbroken.
“Honey, you okay in there?” dad asked from outside the door. I hurriedly wiped my tears and stabled my voice.
“Yes dad!” I replied, well lied and dad knew that, that is why he didn’t asked anymore questions and left. He really understands my silence. I closed my eyes again and took deep breaths. My tears began drying up and I got some composure. Going to Beck’s house was the worst idea I have ever had and I really regret it. I wiped my eyes and cheeks once again and muttered under my breath, “Jesus, please help me!” I buried my face in my hands and took deep breaths again, I rubbed my hands over my face and stood up to wash my face. I could feel the salt sticking to my face. I went inside the washroom and opened the tap. The water felt cold and nice against my face, it scintillated my mind. I washed my face and wiped it with the towel. My mascara was all smudged and I looked horrendous. I removed my make up too and changed into my comfortable pyjamas. I wish I had taken that sleep I missed, that would have been better than going to Becky’s house and hearing all those horrible things. I never could have imagined in my wildest of dreams that Becky could be so selfish and heartless. I don’t want a person like hers to be in my life, so bye-bye Becky for forever and unfortunately I have to say bye to Jake too. I really don’t want to say goodbye to him.
I went downstairs and saw mom and dad chatting in the dining room. As soon as they saw me, all their attention was directed to me.
“Are you alright honey?” mom asked, worrying for me.
“I’ve been better mom, a lot better.” I am tired of lying so I will now let it be I can’t help my situation.
“What went wrong?”Dad asked.
“Everything dad. Everything went wrong.” I told them the whole story and tears escaped my eyes once again. Everytime I hear those words I hear my heart break, every single time. People say that heart beats the fastest before breaking and that is why I was having that adrenaline rush while standing in front of Becky’s door.
“We are so sorry, honey.” Mom said, squeezing my hand a bit, when I finished my tragic story.
“It is all my fault; I should have never forced you to go to Beck’s house.” Dad said, feeling really guilty.
“Dad, it was not your fault at all. You did the right thing. All my doubts are clear now, that I have no chance to get Becky back.” I replied and I meant it. If I would have never went there than I would have never known the reality of Becky, about of her hypocrite nature. Every dark cloud does have a silver lining.
“Ashley you are very strong. And I am sure you will be able to make it. Everyone has to face tough battles and I am so delighted that you are fighting your battle and not just quitting.” Mom said.
“Thank you so much mom. I can only do it because of you guys and your support.” I replied.
“We’ll always be there for you sweetheart. We love you more than anybody else in this whole world.” Dad said, kissing me on the forehead. I love my parents so much.
“I love you too mom and dad and I will always love you more than anybody.” I replied. This is the best moment of the day and we finally got our family talk. I have realized that talking is not as important as being together is. I really enjoy the company of my parents.
“I think we need a bit of cheering up. So, how about a fresh from the oven lasagna.” Mom suggested.
“Kathy darling that would be just fantastic.” Dad said, kissing her.
“I would love some lasagna.” I smiled. Although I didn’t feel like eating but still I said yes to make mom happy and satisfied that I am fine. Mom got up from her seat and went to the kitchen. It is 11:30 and I am sure mom would be able to make great lasagna till 2:00. So now dad and I were alone in the dining hall.
“Sweetheart, life is not a bed of roses, there always will be thorns. People come and go, that is the rule of life. Sometimes you have to see your loved ones moving on with their lives and you too should carry on with life. People will use you, will be rude to you, some will genuinely love you but they all will help to make you, you. Everything in life happens for a reason, friends leave so new friends could take their place. Never dishearten yourself because you deserve the best. Have believe in yourself and faith in God, then no problem will be big for you. People will leave you, but that doesn’t mean your life will stop. Let go honey.” Dad said.
“Thank you dad. I will always keep your words in my mind.” I hugged him hard. He is a great father and a genius philosopher. I am lucky to have such a dad, he cares for me like no one else can. Mom too understands me so much; I am sometimes fascinated with her sixth sense. She always knows what I want. I love my parents.