time in my short life. I was exquisite with bright, light blue eyes, dark blonde hair cascading down my back in gentle waves, and plump pink lips smirking at me gently.
“Sarah must have been beautiful…” I said out loud, touching my soft cheeks, suddenly feeling guilty. Sarah had died, and I now carried her face, her expressions, and yet I never knew her. I wished I could’ve at least known how she would’ve acted in the same situation I was in now. I closed my eyes, looking away from Sarah’s lovely face and went to my bedroom to find something appropriate to wear to meet the man I was eventually going to marry… I wish I could’ve chosen him for myself, but maybe this little ‘test’ would help? Or maybe it would cause that young girl from earlier to be angered. I wouldn’t know until I took the plunge… here I go.
I sat at the coffee shop, my journal open as I read through my old persona’s thoughts. I hoped to find out any sort of emotion she had felt, but all of her thoughts were fairly mechanic and emotionless. She spoke of Jesse as just an assignment, mentioning how easily he fell for her, and the tactics she was using to capture his attentions. She primarily used sex and seduction, but she managed to portray love for him, even though she did not feel that way.
I closed the book hard, frustrated at this detached version of myself. I didn’t like the idea that she had been using such a kind man… that I had been using him. Even though she had used those more sensual measures, I just didn’t think I could do that—my cheeks flushed at the thought. That’s when Jesse walked in, acting suave and distant as he casually scanned the room. I couldn’t help but smile as his gaze caught mine and he met the grin, but quickly turned it into a cool smirk.
“Hey there, miss. I hoped maybe I could buy you some coffee.” He said with calm flirtation.
I smirked, “I’m sorry sir, but I already had coffee today. If I have anymore, I’ll be up all night.”
He sat across from me and touched my hand, “That’s not all bad.”
I stared at his hand, “Are you suggesting something, random stranger?” I said, making sure not to smile. He pulled his hand away, suddenly seeming nervous.
“I’m sorry, I thought this was just a game we were playing.”
I shook my head, “Jesse, I want to fall in love with you for more reasons than just being physical. I mean, honestly… do you even know what my favorite food is? Or what I like to read? Or what my hopes and dreams are.” He considered me, suddenly looking ashamed.
“Well… not really. You’ve always been so secretive.”
I nodded, knowing that my next words may very well ruin the mission I was supposed to be on. But if I was going to do what They wanted, then I wanted to actually care about him, and hopefully love. “Then what do you like about me, honestly?”
I pulled on his buttoned-up collar, “I… I guess I liked that you were hard to get.”
“Yet you obviously got with me plenty of times.”
He looked like he was going to be sick. These had obviously been questions he never expected to be asked by me, but I had a feeling they were the questions other people had asked him. “I liked that it was hard to get to know you… I’m not hanging around you just for sex, Hope.” He said quietly, but a few people nearby still turned their gaze towards us a little.
I looked down at my notebook, knowing that sadly that was all the old Hope had really given him the opportunity to like, “Well… I want to be different. If you really want us to move to the next step, then you need to fall in love with the real me. So, I thought if we could just start over maybe it would be easier. So… absolutely no physical intimacy.” He laughed a little until he realized I was serious, suddenly a little irritated.
“This from the girl that pushes me to have sex…”
I sighed, “Can you stop saying that…?”
He laughed sadly, “You are just making me feel like it’s my fault that we are intimate like that, but you were the one who brought me to your home the second night of knowing me.” A few people were listening to our conversation.
I sat back in my chair, “I’m not saying it was just you, I know what I did…” I tried to think of how the old me would’ve reacted, but frustration clouded my judgment, “But the point is, if you want to move forward with a real relationship with me, it can’t just be physical. It’s time for us to find out if we are actually compatible.”
He shook his head, “And what if we aren’t? You’re just going to leave me?”
I watched him carefully, “Would you really want to be with someone that had no emotion? Someone that only had sex with you?” A few men nearby smiled like fools as they raised their hands. I shook my head at them and they looked away.
He stared at his hands on the table, “Why are you being like this, Hope?”
“Because I don’t really love you!” I said too loudly, and I realized we had the entire coffee shop’s attention now. Jesse’s face fell,
“Then why would you say you did?”
I looked into his eyes, “Because I didn’t want you to think I didn’t care about you. I felt like I should’ve loved you by now, but we are nothing but physical.” Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the girl from earlier, staring at me patiently from a few tables away, her pen furiously writing in her notebook. “If you really want me to move in with you, then prove it.” I said harshly, standing and picking up my few belongings.
I looked back at Jesse from the window, and he looked completely blind-sided. I wasn’t sure I liked Jesse, but I would find out if he really liked me soon enough. I wanted to get as far away from that coffee shop as I could in hopes that the girl would leave me be, but I knew better. She caught up to me surprisingly quickly, touching my shoulder to slow me down. The girl was breathless as she pulled me to a bench, the sun almost fully set now.
“Hope, what was that?” She asked with worry.
I glared at the sky, knowing that I had to say this just right or I could be reported to her boss, and I didn’t want to find out what that would mean, “If he is going to stay with me long term, I had to change my strategy.” The girl tilted her head at me.
“And you realized the only way to do that was to break up with him?”
I shook my head, trying to seem more confident than I felt, “Just wait, he will come. He’s been on the hook for seven months… he’ll come.” I took a few words from the journal I had read earlier.
The girl watched me, “Hope… that is brilliant.” I smiled with a nod. The girl closed her book, “You are going beyond your training, adapting to this life in a new way.”
“Thank you.”
She shook her head, “It’s not necessarily a good thing. You have to be careful.” She handed me a small card with a picture of her on it with a name: Tonya Keefe, “Call me if you need anything.” She took my hand, tapping oddly on my palm, catching my gaze, “Don’t trust anyone else…” she whispered, before letting go of my hand, “Remember your mission Hope 19241.” She said, walking away.
I walked for hours before finally going back to my apartment, glad to be alone, though I was a little disappointed to see that Jesse had not come. I wanted to believe in Jesse, since obviously my former self did not think of him as anything but a lustful man. I hoped she was wrong… but if she wasn’t, I still had no choice but to go back to him if I were to follow my mission.
About the Author
Mycheille Norvell has been writing since she was knee-high to a grasshopper! She began writing songs with her musician father, and found an instant love for creating stories that others could enjoy. Later in school, Mycheille had to write a nonfiction book report on an animal, but because a basic report seemed too boring, she decided to write her piece from the perspective of a hummingbird. Consequently her teacher loved it and suggested the fifth grade girl consider entering into Children’s nonfiction literature. Mycheille declined, and quickly decided to write Young Adult fiction novels instead when she turned thirteen. Though her first book barely reached twenty pages, M
ycheille realized that her calling was to write books… and so she did!
Mycheille currently goes to school at Full Sail University and will graduate with a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in Creative Writing for Entertainment in October 2014. She continues to write constantly, as well as editing for local authors from home while also taking care of her one-year-old daughter, Abby. Mycheille currently resides in Oregon, and someday hopes to travel the world to share her works with anyone she can!
Connect with Me Online:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MycheilleMNorvell
Blogspot: https://mycheillenorvell2014.blogspot.com
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