“Thanks,” I said. Just thinking about the objects drained me.
“We should get going. It’s dinnertime. I’m glad I don’t have to cook.”
“Do you all take turns doing different shifts?”
“Most of us. Some of them are terrible cooks. I make sure they don’t have that shift.” He laughed lightly. “I do most of the overseeing, checking every department is happy and running smoothly.”
“So, are you their leader?”
Rhett rubbed the back of his neck. “Someone has to do the hard work. I don’t like to use that word, but I guess you can say that. Reyna and Ozzie are second in command.”
Rhett stopped by the door and waited for me. “You’re very slow for someone I know is famished.”
“I was thinking about these shoes.” I looked down at them. “I’m still baffled how you would know my size.”
“They’re yours. We knew if we made it out alive we would never go back. Why would we? We packed up and stuffed whatever we could in our backpacks.”
A knot in my stomach tugged painfully tighter. I wiggled my toes, standing by Rhett. Then I asked a terrifying question. “My backpack made it here, but I didn’t. Why?”
Rhett brushed his hand down his face. His expression held sadness and anger. “Something went wrong on the day of our escape. We knew the risks and knew we would have to shoot to kill, but we should have all made it out safely. I’m pretty sure someone ratted us out. In the end, you sacrificed yourself so we could escape. One sacrifice equaled victory is what you used to say to me. My only regret is that I couldn’t stop you. I died that day, not from a bullet, but because I lost you.”
I shivered. One sacrifice equaled victory was something I believed in. I had sacrificed myself so Tamara could win for us. As much as I wanted to believe he told me lies, I couldn’t. I had never shared those words with anyone before.
Rhett tapped the keypad. As the door slid open, I asked another question, even though I wasn’t sure he would answer. I needed more. I had to try.
“Who was your source?”
“You,” he said without eye contact, and led the way.
The enticing aroma burst about the eating room, making my hunger pangs worse. Dinner already sat on the table. Quinn and his friends and a few others I’d met waved at me, and I smiled back. But some looked at me with suspicious eyes, examining me.
“Never mind them.” Rhett slid my tray closer to me. “They’re afraid. They’re worried you’ll inform ISAN of our whereabouts.”
“I wouldn’t.” I dropped my voice lower when I realized I had spoken louder than intended. “Not anymore. I don’t even know where I am.”
I hate to admit it, but I had grown attached to this place.
“I know.” Ozzie took a bite of his fresh carrot. “Don’t worry—they won’t say anything to you. They owe you everything, and they know it.” He dropped his head and scrubbed his face. “Crap. I said too much.”
Rhett patted Ozzie on the arm like a father to a child. “There, there ... It’s all good.”
Ozzie’s expression changed to a somber one. “We used to tell each other everything. The four of us were so close. I don’t like to hide things from you.”
His words stabbed at me. Though I couldn’t remember our friendship before, I felt the sincerity from his tone.
“It’s okay, Einstein. I understand.”
Ozzie stiffened and stared at me inquisitively. I gasped at the realization I had called him by his nickname without a thought.
“You should eat your spaghetti before it gets cold.”
Reyna broke the awkwardness. I was unsure if it had been intentional. It was the first time she had offered me a candid smile.
Spaghetti tasted better at ISAN, but I couldn’t complain about noodles and smashed tomatoes. Food was food. It had been the result of someone’s hard labor, from planting to picking, and then washing and cooking. I’d never had to cook before, and I didn’t have the urge to try. It didn’t seem like fun cooking for so many people.
“Thanks.” I took a bite, swallowed, and savored the juice from the tomatoes. “It’s not too bad.”
Reyna snorted, taking a sip of her drink. “Oh hell, Ava. It tastes like crap. You can be honest with us. But food is food, and unfortunately, we have to eat. However, if you put shrimp on my plate in any form, cooked or not, I’ll still eat it.”
“I guess you like shrimp?” I had asked a stupid question, but I felt the need to say something to her.
“I dream about them.” Reyna chuckled.
I smiled and laughed with her. I wanted to know more about her past, but just because she’d gotten a little bit friendlier didn’t mean she was ready to share.
“We’re going to the city tomorrow.” Rhett shoved a bite in his mouth.
“To the city?” My excitement caused me to squeal like a child, who had been told a present waited for her. Then I wondered if “we” included me. I twisted noodles with my finger. “Am I going?”
Rhett’s lips slowly spread to a smile, and he tilted his head. Damn, he looked too gorgeous. The way he looked back at me had all my muscles quivering. I couldn’t blink, move, or swallow. He had me lost in his eyes, hypnotized.
Then Rhett’s mouth moved. Had he said something?
Ozzie’s fake cough broke our stare.
“Um ... sure,” I answered.
Rhett’s amused eyes and grin were too big for his face. “I don’t think I asked a question, Ava.”
I bit my lip from embarrassment, suppressing a giggle. Then I took sips of water until my face cooled. As I ate the rest of my dinner, I listened to the light conversation at our table and surveyed the people in the room.
Laughter rang in the air, a joyful sound. In ISAN, people rarely smiled. ISAN was all about competing for small rewards and working with your assigned team. Everyone here seemed content, even if an elite team of engineered assassins hunted them.
It didn’t seem possible, but in two days I’d developed a sense of belonging with Rhett and his people. Though I couldn’t remember them, and some wanted me gone, it felt good to be there. I wasn’t afraid. Everyone seemed open and worked together.
I wondered how long Rhett would keep me, and I didn’t know if I wanted to ask. He’d shown me what having freedom meant. If I went back to ISAN, I would be a changed person. I wasn’t sure how it would affect me. Russ and Brooke were the only people I cared about, if I could still trust Russ. But ISAN was all I knew, all I had.
I was one messed up, confused girl. Knowing I had a twin out there and a father that might still be alive—I had to go back. And I had to go back for Brooke.
Rhett stood up suddenly. “Ozzie, can you take Ava back to my room? I need to take care of something.”
“I’m done eating. I can take her.” Reyna cut in before Ozzie could answer.
“I can take her.” Quinn and his friend appeared, holding their empty trays. “I’m on my way out.”
Rhett frowned, his arm muscles flexed, standing guardedly, and a surprising soft growl erupted. “I don’t think so. You should go to your station. There’s a lot of work to do.”
Ozzie snickered. “Jealous much?”
“Shut it, Ozzie, or you’ll be working the field.”
“Tyrant,” he murmured, and tossed a noodle at Rhett.
Rhett furrowed his brow and flicked it off.
“I can go by myself. I don’t need anyone to escort me.” Blushing because Rhett seemed possessive of me, I looked at Reyna to see her reaction.
“I’m taking precautions,” Rhett said. “It’s only because—”
“I get it. I wouldn’t be happy about someone like me being here either.”
“Come on, let’s go.” Reyna grabbed my arm and escorted me.
* * *
I thought Reyna would take me to Rhett’s room and leave, but she came in with me. While she rummaged through the medicine cabinet, I sat on my usual safe spot.
She rearranged the bottl
es, shuffled some papers on Rhett’s desk, and folded some towels, then placed them inside the cabinet. Occasionally she would look at me from the corner of her eyes.
The awkward silence stretched at first while she busied herself, as if she tried to buy time or searched for words.
“I’m sorry if I was rude before. It’s just that I thought I’d lost you.” Reyna leaned back on the table where Ozzie’s equipment was neatly arranged in a line.
“Lost me?”
She bit her bottom lip at the same time she drummed her fingers on the chair. “Dead. I thought they killed you.” Her voice wavered. After clearing her throat, she spoke again, “But Rhett wouldn’t give up. I know you can’t remember, but he really loves you. It isn’t just a crush. You two had something special. It breaks my heart you can’t remember all of us. When you decide to leave, you’ll crush his heart and soul all over again. It’s going to take some time for him to adjust, but maybe this time around it’ll be easier. At least he’ll have had the chance to win you over. I act like I don’t care, but I do. I don’t know what they did to you. I want to trust you, but I don’t know if I can. Just like you’re not sure if you can trust us.”
Her eyes pooled with tears. She wiped them away and continued, “When Ozzie hacked through ISAN and found out you were alive, Rhett smiled for the first time since we got here. He didn’t care if you didn’t remember us. He said love would bring you two back together. He believes emotions are stronger than memories. I don’t know what your intentions are after today, but please find a way to remember. We need you. We were a family, not by blood, but by loyalty and true friendship. We trusted each other with our lives. We were all we had. I’ve wanted to open up to you like this since you got here. I wanted to tell you everything to make you remember, but I know I can’t. It doesn’t work that way, but I wish it did. A war is coming, Ava, and I don’t want us to be on opposite sides.”
A war? I couldn’t believe the words pouring out of her mouth. They crushed me, left me breathless.
“I’m still the same person. I may not remember, but I’m not as bad as you think ISAN is.”
“You don’t think they’re evil?” Her tone rose in disagreement, and she tightened her grip on the sliding chair.
“No. I didn’t say that.” I tried to remain calm. Raising my voice would only tell her I was on their side. “I have friends in there. I need to help them, too. Now that I know my father is possibly still alive, and my twin is out there somewhere, I need to find them. This is a lot to take in in two days.”
Reyna relaxed her clutched fingers on the chair and exhaled a short breath. “I know. I can’t imagine. I’m sorry. It’s a lot for us, too. Ozzie says it would be almost impossible for ISAN to find us, but almost is still a percentage I don’t feel comfortable with. I’d rather die than go back.”
“What did they do to you?” I shifted on the bed to get comfortable. I had given my life to ISAN, but they hadn’t mistreated me.
“What did they not do to us? For starters, they killed my real parents when I was a toddler and sent me to a foster home. That is all you have to know, because that is what has happened to all of us. I think you need to read your father’s journal again.” Reyna’s nose twitched and rage filled her eyes.
“I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say.
“It’s not your fault.” She lowered her head. “But I’m going to find out who started this war and finish it.” Anger and determination set in her eyes.
“Me too.”
“I think ISAN is run by someone with lots of money, someone who wants to be the sole ruler of the Remnant Councils.”
“Are you sure?” Then I remembered Mr. Thorpe’s final words: I believe in keeping the council number count at four. The person who sent you wants to be the only ruler. That person will have everyone killed.
“No. I know I’m not making sense. I’m just going on instinct. I could be wrong about this. I might have no clue what I’m talking about.”
I let out a short laugh.
Reyna’s expression changed to something softer. She turned away from me with perked lips, trying to hide a smile.
“I miss talking to you,” she said candidly. “We used to talk about so many things, but mostly about guys.”
“Do you have a boyfriend?” I thought it was okay to ask.
Reyna plopped on the bed next to me, her face beaming. “I have a crush on this guy named Kaeden. He’s about six feet tall, and he has gorgeous brown eyes. I think he likes me, too. He works in the garden. Once in a while, he brings me flowers. They’re wildflowers, practically weeds, but it’s so sweet.”
Talking to Reyna reminded me of Brooke. I hoped she was okay, and I wondered if she missed me as much as I missed her.
Reyna talked nonstop. She chatted about the weather, about a few girls she didn’t like, very basic topics about herself. But she was careful not to tell me anything regarding their hideout or personal information about anyone else. She didn’t completely trust me yet.
I wouldn’t trust me either.
“It was nice talking to you, like old times.” She yawned, stretching her arms. “I better get some sleep. We have a long day ahead tomorrow. Rhett should be here soon. Goodnight.” Reyna stood with a faint smile and headed to the door.
“Goodnight, Reyna. Before you go, I was wondering if you had the key to Rhett’s desk. I left my father’s folder in there.”
“Rhett has the key with him at all times, but I’ll let you in on a secret. If you put your finger under the table near where the lock is located, you’ll find a tiny space. Push it up with your pinky. You’ll hear a click when you’ve unlocked it. Don’t tell Rhett I told you. He doesn’t even know I know.” She winked.
After Reyna left, I went straight for the desk and did what she instructed. Success. Instead of pulling the top drawer, I pulled the side one. I shouldn’t be snooping, but I was desperate for more answers. Desperate for my missing memories.
I came upon a paper tablet with a long list of names. It appeared to be the names of those who lived in the compound, with some crossed off. Those must be people who hadn’t made it. My heart squeezed from seeing so many names, mostly males.
The second name on the list was mine, but it had been circled instead. I put that back and fumbled through lists of duties and chicken-scratch notes I couldn’t read. There were also a few colored pens and empty folders.
“Don’t you have anything worth my time, Rhett?” I mumbled to myself, listening for his footsteps.
After fumbling through more papers ... there. I pulled out a long strip with several photos on it, something you could get at a place called, Fun Zone. An amusement park filled with rides and digitalized carnival booths.
The pictures were of Rhett and me. In the first one, my cheek brushed up against his and we were smiling. In the second one, I made a funny face at him. The third one broke my heart. My lips pressed to his, not in a passionate way, but I could see how much I cared for him in the sparkle in my eyes and my happy expression. But I didn’t feel it.
I wanted so badly to remember that day, that moment, but I couldn’t. Tears bubbled in my eyes as anger and frustration gripped me. Rounding my fists, I placed the pictures back and shut the drawer.
Then Rhett’s footsteps entered the hall. I recognized them. They held their own suave tempo, beating to the sound of my own heartbeat. Music I was getting used to. Music I wasn’t sure I wanted to let go. Music I knew I would never forget.
Rhett’s team and I arrived at the hydro-glider to travel across the bay. I entered at the rear, far from the brightly lit first class seats. The lights in our cheaper, more crowded and less legroom section stayed dim and occasionally flickered. The long, fiberglass bullet traveled surprisingly smooth and fast, shooting across the surface of the water.
Some passengers passed the time reading, some slept, while others watched the water slide by the narrow window that spanned the length of the transporter. As for me, I held my
breath, wondering whether anyone would recognize me.
Approximately twenty of us went out to the city with our backpacks. We’d split into groups of five. Each group had an electronic map and a specific sector to cover. One went to the west, others went to the north and south, and we went to the east.
Shifting my black hat to hide more of my eyes, I studied Rhett’s big, calloused hands in his lap. I closed my eyes and remembered the gentleness of his touch when he’d wiped my tears and the way his hands moved under my shirt. Yet those same hands had killed. Distracted by Rhett shifting in his seat, I let go of my thoughts.
Rhett pressed his shoulder to mine. “You’re not nervous, are you?”
I gazed at the people sitting beside us, wondering if they were listening. A woman held her fidgety baby in her lap, her husband by her side. The baby’s arm flapped like a bird, and I spotted her bar-code tattoo. Infants were not chipped due to their growing hands. The tattoo would be erased by her physician and she would be chipped at sixteen.
A tinge of jealousy pricked me. The baby laughed in her mother’s arms. She would grow up knowing her parents and live a normal life. I turned away.
“I’m fine. I’ve been through worse,” I said curtly, rubbing the sting on my forearm.
Ozzie had activated my chip with fake identification this morning before we’d left. When I’d asked him how he had learned to implant fake IDs, he’d kept his lips sealed and eyes away from mine.
“At least I didn’t make you jump. Ms. Afraid of Heights doesn’t have motion sickness, does she? You can handle the speed, right?”
I lightly jabbed an elbow into his rib. “If I can’t, you’ll be the first to find out. I’ll leave you a colorful present on your lap.”
He gave me a sexy crooked grin that sent wanton tingles down to places it shouldn’t have.
“You look good in my hat, by the way. Kind of sexy, if you ask me. I think I should take you on a date.”
I scoffed but secretly liked the idea. Briefly, I considered punching him in jest for awakening such inconvenient, but delicious, emotions, but forgot my thought when I saw fire and desire in his eyes. Heat rising in my cheeks, I casually turned my body toward the window.