3.75 #BreakingDown #MixedMessages #Allistasia
The small bundle of essence that comprised the remainder of Tye Sampson was clutched in a proverbial huddle. Thoughts, memories, emotions, and anything of himself that he could still find and hold were grasped at desperately, trying to outlast the assault of insults that continued to pound against his being.
"NOBODY HAS EVER LOVED YOU. EVEN YOUR PARENTS WANT YOU DEAD."
He had no eyes, but he could perceive the words clearly now, large black text written against a backdrop of hazy blue. They came from several sources; he wasn't sure how many, though the original two were the loudest and cruelest.
"KILL YOURSELF, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT."
With each impact, more of him scattered into nothingness. Every attack weakened him; every word scrambled the elements of his soul until rational thought became impossible. All that remained of him was a ravening clump of mix-meshed dreams and whims, traits and recollections, all holding to one another for no real reason he could remember.
"JUST GIVE UP ALREADY! GIVE IN.....Give in...... The peace of oblivion awaits, if you just stop this fighting..."
That is why it was so surprising when he suddenly perceived something... familiar, appear within the strange hazy world. It was hard to concentrate with the constant barrage of insults and the fading of his failing mind, but he managed to focus on the form until it became even clearer and more recognizable.
It was a tiny silver spider. Well, size was relative in this place, but he felt like it was tiny. She was tiny. Yes, it was a female, an old friend...
The clarity of that thought, that memory, was stark by contrast to the muddled miasma he had been dealing with since arriving. Looking at her, seeing her familiarity, straightened the pathways of his mind, and suddenly something else occurred to him.
"Alistasia."
That was her name. He could remember a name. It wasn't much, but he clung to that victory even as the narrative assault continued to bombard him.
"YOU ARE A LOWLY, WORTHLESS PIECE OF UGLY, INFLATED SEWER SLIME WHO DESERVES TO DIE."
"THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE IF YOU HAD BEEN ABORTED."
"YOU CAN'T REMEMBER ANYONE EVER LOVING YOU, BECAUSE NO ONE EVER DID."
What remained of Tye ignored the taunts now, instead focusing on the tiny silver spider. As he did so, one more thought bloomed in his reawakening mind, this one like a golden ray of hope.
"The Mother hasn't abandoned me."
He could feel himself growing firmer. The attacks were still hard and furious, but he was able to shield himself against them to some extent now. He had a piece of his identity to cling to, something solid and firm. No matter how much had been lost, he could rebuild from here.
Though there was no space in this place, the tiny spider had grown closer. She was now standing before him, whatever he was, waving her spindly limbs frantically in the air.
She was communicating. He had once been able to understand her, but now, he'd taken so much abuse, lost so much of who he was, so many memories. He tried to concentrate on her, to pull together memories of her that he had managed to save.
"YOU'RE HERE BECAUSE THEY BETRAYED YOU. THEY PUT YOU HERE!"
Tye groaned under the weight of those words. For some reason they hit hard, especially when looking at Alistasia. Had she betrayed him? Had she put him here? Could he really trust her?
“AND YOU BETRAYED THEM!”
The spider was gesturing faster now, one arm waving dismissively at the voices, the others flapping back and forth in a complex series of motions. Something about a button?
Verbal attacks rained down upon Tye, a mad fury that threatened to shatter him, but they never quite broke his connection with Alistasia, who was like a tiny anchor amidst the terrible tempest. And slowly, as he concentrated on her, he began to understand what she was saying.
It was hard, grueling work. Tye had been a master at manipulating the great Hive Mind, but this was nothing like that. The constant attacks and his own muddled thoughts also made the task more difficult. He could feel frustration bubbling at the trial. But then he realized he was actually feeling something, and suddenly elation joined his agitation. It was working.
The process itself was strange. Kind of like weaving, but with threads of mind. Slowly, he formed the button that his friend was showing him. Or perhaps he just revealed it. It was hard to tell what was manifested and what was simply observed in this place.
Then, he imagined the button being pressed. It wasn't really imagination so much as actualization. The equivalent of touching something, affecting it when you don't have a body. It was a difficult concept for Alistasia to describe, and Tye almost gave up in exasperation after dozens of failed attempts. But the attacks were still there, he had nowhere to go. He had no real choice.
Finally, the button clicked and... one of the angry voices went silent. The other voices seemed startled for a moment, but then they redoubled their efforts, pounding him again and again with vile curses and deep personal insults.
Yet Tye wasn't worried about them anymore. His spirits soared as he revealed The Button, actualizing the click that snapped off yet another vile voice. He clicked it again, and again, and continued to click until there was total, absolute silence in the hazy, blue white world.
Tye would have sighed with relief if he'd had lungs. Slowly, pieces of him began to start drifting back from the emptiness of the horizon. Not everything returned, and much of what he did regain was jumbled, tainted, or hard to understand, missing pieces of context from losses in other places. But it was something. He had survived. He'd banished the enemy, and his friend was here with him now.
He glanced down at the tiny silver spider whose arms were still waving frantically. But now, settled in calm, he could understand her as if she were speaking aloud.
"There is no time for rest.”
A single spindly arm traced a pattern in the air, and for some reason, he felt a sense of dread.
“You have many emails to send, Tye Sampson.”