Johan Lindback
If you cross the dusk
Copyright Johan Lindbäck 2012
"Wake up!"
The young sorceress Vencida woke with a start as she felt the tip of the guardian leader's toes in her side. She sat up and gazed sleepily upon him.
"It's still dark, Nico, why do you wake me up already? I thought we would not leave until the break of dawn."
"The plans have been changed. We will perform a small task, it will be of benefit for you."
"Of benefit for me? In what way?"
"Think of it as a step in your personal development. You have a lot to learn."
Vencida sighed. It was not the first time she heard him say so. You have a lot to learn! The words echoed in her head. They had already begun to lose their meaning. How would he know that? At the moment he was her superior, but it did not mean that he knew everything about her. No one did.
"Can you tell me what you want me to do? It takes time to prepare a magic spell, I want to do it properly."
She could not decide if the sound that escaped the guardian leader was a sign of contempt, or if she just imagined. But without doubt it was little appreciated the times she brought the magic on speech. Nico did not want to hear about it. He mastered no magic and had not the slightest interest in learning more about it.
The guardian grabbed a sword which he carefully studied, whereupon he put it into his scabbard and left the tent in which the two spent the night. Or at least part of it, as it was still dark out there.
Vencida hurried after.
A lot of activity prevailed in the camp of the guardians. Without a doubt something was going on, something that no one talked to her about. Guardians sharpened their swords and saddled their horses. Nico ran around and handed out orders. Vencida tried desperately to sort out what was going on. The black-clad soldiers looked at her with suspicious glances.
I'm not one of them, it was never meant that I would end up here!
The idea had struck her more than once in recent days. As from the beginning having been a warm and caring person the guardian leader Nico had slowly changed. Now he paid her almost no attention at all. Was he ashamed to have her there? Maybe he really wanted to get rid of her. But what could she do? She realized that she must put tough. With determined steps she walked towards the young guardian, who stood talking to some other black-clad soldiers.
"I joined you because I thought I would get the opportunity to develop my magical abilities."
Nico was a few moments to turn around and at all show that he responded to her words.
"What's stopping you? You may use as much magic as you want."
"You do not get involved. I thought you would see my abilities as an asset, but instead it seems you do not even like to know of it. I do not understand you. Why did you bring me here if you do not want my help?"
"Most of us guardians are not magicians. We have learned not to rely too much on mere magic. It was not with the help of magic we conquered Dianor, it was by the sword! It was by the sword as the magic alliance was signed. The four magicians could not have done it without the help from us guardians. When the magic fails, it is on our strength we must rely."
Vencida astonished at his words. "You are bitter, Nico. You have devoted your life to protect the magic alliance, yet it seems you do not even believe in magic."
"I did not become a guardian because I admire those with magical abilities, I became a guardian for the maintenance of the society in which I believe. Whether I'm bitter or not you know nothing about. You do not know me, therefore I appreciate if you refrained from speaking about such things. I have important things to consider right now, and you keep me from it. If you don't mind, Vencida ..."
"You still have not revealed what it is we are going to do! You just say that there is a mission and that it will be stimulating for me, but that's all I got to know."
The young sorceress could see how one of his aides grinned knowingly at him. Actually, she should not be upset, but similar things had already happened too many times. She would not let them take her dignity from her.
"There is a small village less than a mile further into the woods. If you know of any magic spell that can destroy it I will be happy to let you give it a try."
"A village? Why should we destroy it?"
"People in this part of the kingdom have not quite comprehended to show us the respect they should, therefore, it is about time to show them that pride goes before a fall."
"You're attacking the village just to put fear into the rest of Dianor? Isn't that just cowardly?"
Nico looked intently at her, but then shook his head and sat on his horse. "I don't think you really understood what a guardian's role is all about, Vencida. But you will soon learn."
"I did not want to become a guardian, I want to become a magician."
She spoke consciously quietly, as if she was hoping that Nico would not hear what she said, which he however did.
"There is a force much stronger than magic, and stronger than any weapon whatsoever. It is the power with which us guardians have maintained the order in Dianor, and it is with the help of that power we will destroy that village."
"You're talking about fear, aren't you ...?"
Nico answered the question with a joyless smile. "Will you come?"
Vencida sighed deeply, then she reluctantly jumped up behind the guardian on his horse, a magnificent thoroughbred stallion strong enough to carry them both. Nico made a sign to the rest of the guardians that it was time to leave. A moment later, they were all on the road.
The ride took them along a narrow forest path. Vencida gave a convulsive grip on Nico as she nervously glanced at the sky. He did not like that she was behind him, there was no doubt about that, but there was no other way for her to follow. She did not have an own horse, but that did not matter anyway as she had never learned to ride.
The three moons had begun sinking into the horizon but there would still be about an hour until dawn. Then nothing would be the same again. As the sun rose she would have blood on her hands. It was inevitable, she had made herself into something that could only end that way. But she would show them. They did not believe in her. They doubted her, just like so many others had done before. But soon they would no longer do.
After a short ride they arrived at the small village. It was peacefully situated in a clearing beside a small stream. There were only about ten buildings. The village was much smaller than she expected.
"Is this the village we must destroy?"
"Yes, it is."
She had expected a more scathing and ironic answer, because that was how it used to be, but to her surprise she received a straight and honest answer.
"So, can you perform a magic formula that wipes out this village? You must decide quickly."
"I told you I needed time to prepare myself ..."
Nico did not let her finish the sentence, but instead made a sign to his subordinates that it was time to launch the attack. The young sorceress sighed and felt her shoulders slumping. In the corner of her eye she could see how some of the guardians strapped bows with flaming arrows which they let fly straight into the buildings. A barrage of flaming arrows rained down in the village and set fire to the small houses with thatched roofs. It was not long before the flames rose into the sky.
Despairing cries echoed among the buildings. The villagers rushed out of their burning houses. Nico gave order to the other guardians to attack. With swords drawn they rushed in among the burning houses. Vencida stood like stunned beside Nico's horse. It was not the first time she saw anyone die, but this was something she had never experienced before. The anguished s
creams of the villagers echoed in her head. The previously peaceful village was in flames.
I don't want to! I don't want to be part of this anymore! It was not what I wanted, I just wanted to be respected.
She was awakened from her thoughts as Nico poked her in the side with the bracket of a sword.
"You know how to use it."
She took it and held it between her trembling hands.
"You seem to think of something else. You know exactly why we came here. You know exactly what a guardian's life is all about."
"I know, Nico. You don't ..."
"You know how to use it!"
Filled with the most uneasy feeling, she ran towards the village. Bodies of mutilated villagers were scattered all around. The heat from the burning buildings were strong and struck her like a wall. Sweat broke out from her forehead and ran down the face. The smoke from the fire went into her respiratory passages and fiery flakes struck her arms. It stung each time she was hit, but the pain was quickly pushed aside by all of the other impressions that persistently tormented her.
She wandered aimlessly around the small village where all the buildings were all ablaze. She did not mind the scornful gazes of the other guardians. The little village had been destroyed right in front of her. Never before had she been forced to face death in such close quarters. She did not notice that Nico was right behind her.
"You must learn one thing, Vencida, a life is not worth anything! A life is short and transient, it can easily be destroyed, just as easy as it is created. Our lives are meaningless. We do not live for our own sake, we are all part of something that is much greater than ourselves. It's not about you or me. Our lives are worth nothing, just as the lives of those who lived in this village."
"I don't understand what you mean," Vencida stammered.
"It doesn't matter, soon enough you will understand."
Vencida took a deep breath and realized that she had forgot to ask an important question to herself. How would she manage to perform the task she had taken on? After all it was nothing to ponder over, she would have no choice. She touched upon the thought of what would happen if she decided to give up the life as a guardian, but realized just the moment later that it was not an option. She had nothing to return to. No family or friends from where she came, and the rebels that the guardians so obstinately fought certainly would not accept her. Though, for that matter, she would not be one of them, she had already taken sides. This was all she had, therefore she must endure and hold her head high. Seeing people's lives being destroyed was, after all, an inevitable part of the life she had chosen.
"You have seen how brittle and fragile a human life is. Next time you see it it will not bother you. If you cross the dusk you will not miss the light of day."
Vencida was about to state that she did not understand what he meant, but it did not really matter. Without a doubt she had crossed the dusk. Now she must continue on through the night.
* * *
More information about the author can be found on https://www.johanlindback.com/
This short story is based on a chapter from The Magic Alliance. The first part, The Shadow over Dianor, will soon be released in English.