“Were you watching for me?” I asked, forcing myself to focus on Damian. To stare into his eyes, trying to ground myself in the reality of being here — with him.
Damian nodded, his expression still concerned. “When you didn’t come back with Jax, and he said that Rafe told him to say that he’d gotten what he wanted … I was afraid that … that you …” He trailed off with a shake of his head, and I saw a ghost of the terror he must have felt rise up in his eyes. “I’ve been standing there for hours, unwilling to give up hope.”
My heart pulsed painfully beneath my ribs as I gazed up at him.
“I love you, Alexa. And I never want you to leave my side again.”
Before I could respond, his mouth was on mine, his lips hungry, all of his fear and love bleeding through his kiss into me. His arms crushed me into the hard planes of his body, but I didn’t care. I held on to him as though I were drowning and he was my only hope of reaching the sky again. He was my air, my heart, my everything.
I pulled back reluctantly, wishing I could go on kissing him forever but knowing we needed to stop. Especially since we were standing in full view of anyone who happened to pass by. “Sorry, I just —”
“No, you’re right. This isn’t the place to get carried away. I couldn’t help myself.” Damian smiled at me, a wicked glint in his eyes. “Our people will have to get used to these types of displays, I’m afraid, with you as my wife.”
A little thrill ran through me. His wife.
“Even covered in dirt and blood?”
“Even if you’d just rolled in the mud.”
“You must be joking.”
Damian chuckled. “Care to find out? I think there’s an excellent patch of mud over there.” He pointed as we both turned and slowly began to walk toward the palace. The perimeter guards had politely turned away to afford us privacy, but now, as we walked past them, they hurried to shut the gate and return to their posts.
“No, I think I’ll just take your word for it.” I shook my head.
“Ah, there’s a hint of a smile at last.” His eyes still held an edge of worry as he glanced down at me.
I tried to keep smiling, but the weight of all I had to tell him pulled it down, until I was near tears again. Damian stopped and turned to me.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“Don’t apologize. You’re exhausted — you’ve been through a terrible ordeal. And I’m sure you’re worried about Rylan.” His gaze was searching. “After you get cleaned up and rest, I promise you’ll feel much better.”
“I’m sure you’re right.” I forced a small smile, and that seemed to satisfy him. He had no idea that I was apologizing for much more than just not being able to smile easily at the moment.
But I still couldn’t bring myself to tell him the truth.
* * *
I sat on my bed an hour later, staring at the dormant fireplace, where the ash of previous fires lay quiet and cold in the stone enclosure. My hair was still slightly damp, and the cuts on my face and arms stung from the soap I’d used to scrub myself clean. The scars on my face and neck ached, and the stitches on my back burned, but at least they’d held throughout the entire ordeal.
However, no amount of soap could erase the curse Rafe had put on me or the stain of guilt on my soul for what I’d done to Rylan.
A knock at the door made me jump, and I hurried to stand up. “Who is it?”
“It’s Damian. May I come in?”
“Of course,” I called back, tugging at my tunic, pulling it down lower over the breeches I wore. I was still barefoot, and I didn’t have my vest on. But there was no time to do anything about it as the door opened and Damian strode in, leaving the guards on duty — Asher and Leon — in the hallway. When it had shut again, leaving us in privacy, he crossed to where I stood and took me into his arms.
“You were right,” I mumbled into his shoulder, where I’d buried my face.
“As always,” he responded, “but in what way, in this particular instance?”
I didn’t have to see his face to know that he was probably smirking with one eyebrow lifted — the look that made my stomach do strange flips when he aimed it at me.
“I do feel better now that I’m cleaned up.”
“I’m glad.” He pulled back enough to look down at me.
And thankfully, it was true. The hysteria that had nearly pulled me apart was under tight control now. Sunlight streamed in through the window, coating my room in a golden hue. Damian didn’t wear his crown or anything else to signify that he was king this morning. He was just my Damian — painfully beautiful and somehow in love with me. A man who had endured enough heartache to break anyone and somehow survived it. As if he’d read my mind, the light dimmed in his brilliant eyes and a shadow crossed his face. “I’m still not quite sure if you’re really here. When I let you leave yesterday, I had this sinking feeling that I would never see you again. And when Jax came back without you …” He trailed off, a muscle tightening in his jaw.
I reached up to brush his hair back from his forehead and let my hand trail down his face. “I’m really here,” I said, my voice low. “I promised you I would come back.” And suddenly, regardless of everything that had gone wrong, I was intensely grateful that I had made it back. Despite the cost.
Damian closed his eyes and turned his head, pressing a kiss into the palm of my hand, sending fire up my arm to warm my body. “I love you,” he whispered against my skin.
I gently turned his face back toward mine again, and he opened his eyes to look straight into mine. As always, I felt as though he could see more than just my face — scars and all. I’d always had the feeling that he could see past all of that, into my heart. Into my soul. And as he stared down at me, bathed in the warm sunlight, I felt it yet again.
“I love you, too,” I said, my throat tight with emotion.
He closed the gap between us, pulling me to him and pressing his lips to mine. His kiss was a sigh, a release of fear and worry, and also a test — to make sure we weren’t actually dreaming. I clung to him, desperate to lose myself in his touch. To try and forget everything except him — except this: his body against mine, his lips on my cheeks, my jaw, my mouth, leaving a trail of fire on my skin, his hands on my back, urging me closer and closer. But at the back of my mind was the dark memory of Rylan, hurt, trapped. And my own awful secret.
I had to tell him. Now, before I lost my nerve.
Mustering all of my willpower, I pulled away.
Damian groaned as I pushed gently against him, forcing space between us. “Now I know you aren’t a dream,” Damian murmured, his voice low.
“Why?”
“Because in my dreams, there’s no reason for us to stop.”
My cheeks grew hot with my blush, but I couldn’t let him distract me with his mischievousness. “I’m sorry, it’s just that —”
“It’s all right. I’m only teasing. I actually had another reason for coming to see you.” He lifted one eyebrow. “Even though that was certainly reason enough.”
I couldn’t return his smile, as my heart beat with fear. Once I told him, would he want to kiss me anymore? Would his eyes still be lit with the happiness that was in them right now?
“Jax is awake, and he wants to see you. I promised him I would bring you right away.”
“He is? He’s all right?” Relief warred with the desperation lodged in my heart.
“He’s almost better. Lisbet worked a miracle on him.”
“I’m so glad.” I managed to smile at last, but Damian’s eyes narrowed.
“What is it — is everything okay?” He took a half step toward me, but I nodded, forcing a true smile to my face. I’d spent years acting; I could do it again. I didn’t have the heart to tell him right now. Later — after we’d seen Jax. After he’d had at least a couple of hours to believe that I had returned to him whole and unharmed.
We had a huge battle looming ahead of us, and once I told him my secret, I ha
d no idea what he’d do with me. Or feel toward me.
And we still had to come up with a plan to save Rylan.
But for now I wanted to just enjoy this — to be with him.
I reached for his hand, and the worry that had sprung up in his eyes faded again. “Let’s go see Jax.”
He squeezed my hand and turned to lead me to the door.
There was time enough to tell him the truth. Right now the only important truth was this: I’d done it. I’d brought his brother back to him, and I’d kept my promise.
Soon, we’d have to deal with Rafe — we would have to figure out how to save Rylan. Eljin would wake in the next day or two and would have to answer all the questions I had for him. The fates of both our kingdoms depended on it. I dreaded telling him about the missive we’d received from his father — that for some reason he was being coerced into betraying our peace treaty. We needed to find General Tinso, to figure out what was truly going on, before Blevon and Antion’s alliance was destroyed forever.
And soon, we’d have to fight the imminent war against Damian’s uncle, King Armando.
But for now, all that mattered was the feel of my hand in Damian’s and the hope in his eyes. Hope that somehow — together — we could conquer everything ahead of us.
Once again, I am so grateful for the many wonderful people who have helped bring this book into the world.
“Thank you” isn’t sufficient for my agent, Josh Adams, for your wisdom and guidance through all the ups and downs, your hard work on my behalf, and your continued support. You always go above and beyond (what agent flies to their author’s launch party in the middle of winter in UT??) — and for that I will always be grateful. Pretty sure I have the best agent ever.
Again, there aren’t words adequate to express my gratitude to my brilliant editor, Lisa Sandell. I feel so privileged to be going on this journey with you. Your thoughtful feedback and guidance that make my books the best they can be, and your kindness and support (even when I’m being way too needy) mean so much to me. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. (Maybe if I repeat it enough, it’ll mean more.)
To the rest of the incredible team at Scholastic, thank you for everything you do to bring my books to life and into the hands of readers — you are all rock stars. Especially my amazing publicist, Sheila Marie Everett; I can’t thank you enough. You really are the best, and I’m so grateful to be working with you! And to Katie Grim and Elizabeth Starr Baer for your keen eyes and thoughtful copyedits that make all the difference! Thank you to all of the awesome people who make Scholastic the wonderful publishing company that it is. I’m so glad I’m a part of the Scholastic family! Thanks also to Bess, Emily, and everyone else in publicity, marketing, and sales who have spread the word about Defy. And to the design team that keeps giving me such gorgeous covers. You are all amazing!
Thank you to all of the librarians, booksellers, and book bloggers who have shared their love of Defy with others, and helped this series find readers. You are the true, unsung heroes. What you do is what gives us authors a chance to do what we love. THANK YOU. I wish I could personally thank every wonderful person who has supported Defy and helped spread the word — but that’s just not possible. However, I do have to give particular thanks to Katie Bartow of Mundie Moms for all of your help in setting up events and promoting my books! And to Jaime and Rachel with Rockstar Book Tours — thank you for EVERYTHING! And to Windy and Andrea, thank you for your help, as well.
Huge squishy hugs to my amazing CPs for Ignite — Kathryn Purdie and Anne Blankman. Thank you for being willing to read on such short notice and for your insightful help. And above all else, thank you for being true friends. I’m so grateful to have you both in my life.
And the YA Valentines — you have all helped me survive this crazy ride. You’ve jumped up and down with me, talked me off ledges, and believed in me. I love being a part of this crazy-talented group of fabulous authors. Thank you for letting me be one of you! #Vals4Evah
Madi Brown — this book wouldn’t have happened without you. Thank you for stepping in and taking such good care of my kids while I disappeared to the library to try and meet my deadline. (Especially on your summer break!)
I accidentally left out some important people in my previous acknowledgments, and I refuse to make the same mistake twice. To Caleb Warnock, Janiel Miller, Stephanie, Meghan, and everyone else from the American Fork Arts Council class — thank you. You helped me through a hard time on my path to publication. Thank you for all of your support!
I could have sworn I thanked Mr. Thomas in Defy, but apparently, I didn’t — so I am rectifying that right now. When he gave his fifth-grade class an assignment to write a “story” for class, I’m sure he didn’t expect me to show up with fifty handwritten pages — and then decide it wasn’t good enough and write a different one that ended up being even longer! You had me read the whole thing to the class, and you told me I had real talent and that I should pursue my writing. You were the first person who made me believe I could actually be an author someday. Thank you for giving me that encouragement and for giving me the gift of hope!
Thank you to Marie Lu, James Dashner, Jen Nielsen, Meg Spooner, Veronica Rossi, Ally Condie, Erin Bowman, Jessica Spotswood, Natalie Whipple, and so many others who have supported Defy, or helped me navigate the murky waters of being a debut author. What a lucky person I am to have such wonderful friends and authors in my life!
I can’t leave out the musicians whose brilliance helps inspire me. Hans Zimmer, as always — without your music, I’m not sure I would ever finish a book. For Ignite in particular, M83’s “Oblivion” was absolutely pivotal to some of the scenes I wrote. Atli Örvarsson, Imagine Dragons, One Republic, Emeli Sandé, Sleeping at Last, and Josh Groban. Thank you, all. Music is integral to my writing process, and I can’t thank you enough for creating such amazing songs for me to write to!
Thank you again to my parents, Henri and SuZan, for your excitement, support, and love. Dad, thanks for continuing to buy my books and talking to everyone about it. You rock. Mom, thank you for always being willing to read for me and for your thoughtful feedback. You help me be a better person in so many ways! And to my sisters, Elisse, Kerstin, Kaitlyn, and Lauren: thank you for your support and love. It means more than you know! Every time any of you post about my book, or come to an event, it makes me so happy! And of course, the part that makes me the happiest of all is when you tell me you love my latest book! And, Elisse — a special thanks for always being my first reader, for reading multiple drafts of all of my books, and for helping me be the best writer I can be. I couldn’t do this without you.
To Robert and Marilyn, my in-laws, thank you for all of your excitement and support, and for your help with my kids so I can sneak some extra writing time. I’m so grateful for both of you!
And, as always, I saved the best for last. Brad, Gavin, and Kynlee … I love you more than words can express (which is saying something for an author). Thank you for putting up with Mommy when I have to work, and for being so excited about Mommy’s books. You three are the joy of my life! Trav — my biggest fan and supporter and my best friend, I couldn’t do any of this without you. Thank you for everything. It would take an entire book to thank you for all that you do. I am, without a doubt, the luckiest woman in the world. I love you.
And finally — the readers. Thank you for loving my characters and going on this journey with me and Alexa. Thank you for letting my dreams become reality through the pages of these books.
A IndieBound Indie Next List Selection
“A wonderful tale of adventure, romance, and embracing your true self.” —Marie Lu, bestselling author of the LEGEND series
“An amazing, fantastic book. It has everything you’d want: intrigue, awesomely real characters, suspense, and a captivating plot. All in a world that comes to life in your mind.” —James Dashner, bestselling author of The Maze Runner
“Grand adventure, romance, and thrilling political intr
igue.” —Booklist
“[A] riveting fantasy.” —Publishers Weekly
Sara B. Larson can’t remember a time when she didn’t write books — although, she now uses a computer instead of a Little Mermaid notebook. Sara is the author of the young adult novel Defy, and she lives in Utah with her husband and their three children. She writes during nap time and the quiet hours when most people are sleeping. Her husband claims she should have a degree in “the art of multitasking.” When she’s not mothering or writing, you can often find her at the gym repenting for her sugar addiction.
Defy
Copyright © 2015 by Sara B. Larson
All rights reserved. Published by Scholastic Press, an imprint of Scholastic Inc., Publishers since 1920. SCHOLASTIC, SCHOLASTIC PRESS, and associated logos are trademarks and/or registered trademarks of Scholastic Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Larson, Sara B.
Ignite : a Defy novel / Sara B. Larson. — First edition.
pages cm
Sequel to: Defy.
Summary: King Damian and his trusted guard, Alexa, focus on rebuilding Antion after years of war and strife, but the citizens are reluctant to trust their new king, and when a new threat arises, including an assassination attempt, Alexa must protect the king she loves and uncover the enemy before it is too late.
ISBN 978-0-545-64474-7 (jacketed hardcover) [1. Magic — Fiction. 2. Kings, queens, rulers, etc. — Fiction. 3. Conspiracies — Fiction. 4. Adventure and adventurers — Fiction.] I. Title.
PZ7.L323953Ign 2015
[Fic] — dc23
2014017067
First edition, January 2015
Cover art © 2015 by Jacey/Début Art
Cover design by Sharismar Rodriguez
Author photo by Erin Summerill Photography