I spoke slowly. “You don’t like in-depth personal pieces on concussions. ”
“And yet that was the first article you pitched to me. ”
Prickles spread over my skin. “You don’t just want me to write about Abe. You want me to write about Loft. ”
“Smart girl. ”
“You know I can’t write an unbiased report about Abe when I’m in a relationship with him. ”
“I don’t want a news report. I want the readers to think it’s their boyfriend who’s losing his brain cells. ”
I was silent.
Slyness crept into her voice. “Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me you’re not dying to write about what he’s going through right now. About how hurt he is. About how instead of eating breakfast in bed you’re wiping his face of sweat after he pukes for the fourth time in an hour. ”
“You want me to write a feature. ”
“Tamar. ” Her voice turns coddling, persuasive. “This number of injuries isn’t okay. And this is your job, isn’t it? Don’t you want to be an investigative reporter?”
From behind me, I heard some noise, and I twisted my body even as my gut twisted. Was he all right? “Okay. Fine. ” What were my choices, after all? This was why I was still employed. This was why Tanya had kept me around, so I could write this article. “I’ll do it. ”
“I want it on my desk on Wednesday. ”
Wednesday! Was she crazy? “That’s impossible. ”
“Jin and Mduduzi can cover your usual stories. I mean it, Rosenfeld. This is the right stuff. ”
“Fine. ” My words were clipped. “You’ll have it. ”
When I reentered the room, Rachael and Ryan had left. Abe lay there, tossing and turning. I took one of the wipes from the bedside table and, just as Tanya had predicted, wiped his brow. I wrapped his hand in mine, and his fingers tightened.
And then his eyes blinked open and caught on mine. “Tammy. ”
I tried to smile. “Hi, Abe. ”
He traced my face with his gaze, thorough and steady, and then he broke into a wide grin. “Glad you’re here,” he murmured, before he drifted back to sleep.
I stayed there another hour, worry building up and spreading through me, until it filled my body like a tightly coiled spring.
And then I withdrew my hand, opened my laptop, and in the cold blue light of the hospital, began to write.
* * *
I spent the next few days at Abe’s side, drifting in and out of sleep, working on the article, bringing him food. His parents flew out, even though he told them time and again that it was no big deal. Sharon kept hugging me. I made sure they ate too, and made sure my mom was updated.
And I kept writing.
* * *
On Tuesday night, the doctors told Abe he could go home the next day. “Thank God,” he groaned. “I can’t deal with this any longer. ” He caught me looking at him. “All right, what is it?”
I sat down gingerly. “So. Loft. ”
A hint of wariness entered his gaze. “I don’t wear a Loft helmet. ”
“I know. But a lot of your teammates do. And you do wear some of their padding. And they’re not such a great company, but that’s kept low-key because of their money. ”
“That’s an open secret. So what?”
My hands curled into fists. “So I’m mad, Abraham. I’m mad you’re playing a dangerous game without the best possible defenses. And my boss asked me to write a story. ”
He closed him eyes briefly, before fixing me with an intense gaze. “ “Tell me it’s not going to be that bad. ”
“I can tell you it’s factual. ” I handed him a sheaf of paper.
He stared down at it. “When are you guys publishing this?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure. Soon. ”
“There will be fallout. ”
I tried to smile. “Tanya lives for fallout. ”
“For you, I mean. ”
“Read it and let me know what you think. ” I couldn’t bear to sit there and watch him read, so I stood up abruptly. “I’m going to head out, but you’ll be discharged in the morning? I’ll come and see you before heading to work. ”
He nodded, and I went over to kiss him. It would be fine. Everything would be fine.
Maybe if I kept saying that I’d actually believe it.
Chapter Twenty-Two
My roommates left early the next day, so I had the apartment to myself for the morning before I headed over to the hospital. When the buzzer sounded, I was so surprised I almost ignored it, expecting a neighbor who’d locked themselves out. “Hello?”
“It’s me. ”
Abraham’s voice was curt and unexpected. “Oh. Okay. Hi. ” I buzzed him in. When I opened the door, he swept past me and into the living room. I followed, confused. “Are you okay? You were discharged? Why did you come here—why didn’t you call me?”
He slapped the papers down on the table. “This is bad. ”
I winced. “Ah. ”
His brows had drawn together and his expression had darkened into a heavy storm. “You told me it was factual. ”
“It is. ”
“Fact is that this happens in every goddamn team in the League—”
Outrage at Gregory Philip surged all over again, and made my voice hoarse. “They’re using unsafe equipment! You can’t want to protect them. ”
“They’re my team. ”
“These are your lives. ”
“And what about your life?”
“What?” I stared at him, utterly confused. “What are you talking about?”
He waved an arm explosively. “I’m talking about this article. Damn it, Tamar! What are you trying to do?”
“Um, expose shady dealings? Why are you so mad? You knew what I was writing about. ”
“I didn’t realize how far you were taking it. ”
I wasn’t aware I was taking it anywhere unexpected. Loft and the Leopards were conspiring to keep Loft’s bad ratings out of the public eye in order to keep their deal for the athletics facility from falling through; seemed like the expected thing was to expose that. “So what?”
“So!” He raked his hand through his hair. “So I finally found you, and now you’re trying to throw it all away!”
It was my turn to utterly still with incomprehensibility. “What?”
“Don’t you get it? This will piss off everyone. ”
“It’ll blow over. ”
“I don’t think you get it, Tamar. What the repercussions of publishing this will be. ”
I studied him. “Well, hopefully it will be the athletic facility deal falling through. ”
“And for you? You’ll have both the Leopards and Loft pissed at you. Do you know what that means? They’ll revoke your press privileges and they’ll slap a heavy fine on anyone who’s caught talking to anyone from Today News. ” His eyes were steady. “I’ve seen it before. ”
I dropped onto the sofa. “You’re kidding. It’s just one story. ”
He stepped up before me. “One story that said two multimillion-dollar industries are cutting underhand deals and ignoring people’s health. ”