She pulls her hand from mine. “Can someone lie in their mind?” she asks.
“Yes, but I can always see the truth beneath the lie.”
“Did I lie?”
“No,” I say. “That doesn’t make it the truth.”
She reaches out to touch my arm in comfort, but then draws back. I grimace at the action. “Now you know why Niahm broke up with me. In fact, she ordered me to go away and never come back.”
“This?” she asks, looking at her hand. At my nod, she says, “I can totally see how that would tick her off.” She grins. “How many times did you do it without her knowing?”
I shrug and Stacy shakes her head. “That many, huh?” This time she does touch my arm. “Sam, if you looked into her mind, you know that if there’s one constant about Niahm, it’s that she doesn’t hold a grudge. She gets angry, but then she forgives and forgets. She loves you, Sam. This wouldn’t be the thing to drive her from you.” She pauses. “Fear would. If she knew about you, she knew she wouldn’t be able to have her happily ever after in Goshen that she’s always imagined.” She squeezes my arm and releases it. “If she knew that she might be... the same... that would have scared her more than anything else. That would definitely screw up her plans. Unlike the rest of us who can’t wait to escape, Niahm was doubly determined to stay.”
“You know her pretty well, don’t you?”
“Yeah, well, we’ve been besties our whole lives,” Stacy smiles as she caresses a hand down Niahm’s face. “There isn—” She stops speaking abruptly, her face changing from a musing look to one of shock.
“What?” I ask urgently.
“Her face,” she says, turning to look at me. “It’s warm.”
I look at Niahm, touch her face myself. It’s true. She should be cold to the touch without blood flowing through her veins.
“Shane?” I say, but he’s already pushing past Stacy, stethoscope in hand. He places it against Niahm’s chest, listening intently. I’m doing the same by clutching her hand. Silence. Then...
One single beat. Faint, almost non-existent, but there nonetheless.
Shane’s gaze meets mine. A matching grin lights his face as Stacy shifts from foot to foot impatiently behind him.
“What?” she says. Then, more fervently, “What!”
“A heartbeat,” Shane says, turning toward her. “Only one, fairly weak, but a heartbeat.”
Stacy drops to her knees by Niahm’s feet.
“C’mon, Niahm,” she says. “Give us another one.”
Shane and I both listen intently, Shane waving Stacy to silence to better hear. And then... another beat, still faint but slightly more clear.
Niahm, I project, come back to me.
Sam.
Chapter 54
Niahm
Sam calls to me, repeatedly. I can hear him, but I can’t find him. I’m looking for him in every way I know how, but all around me is darkness. Actually, darkness isn’t the right word. It’s nothingness. Thick and intangible, seen and unseen. I’m lost, with only his voice as any kind of compass point. I try to call for him, but my voice is absorbed by the nothingness around me. I feel like if I can just call him, he’ll be able to reach me and save me from this dreary place.
I crouch down, crossing my arms over my chest, fists clenched, centering myself. I can’t tell up from down, but feel I must by sitting upright. Closing my eyes reinforces the feeling. I take deep breaths which pulls no oxygen into my lungs. The action gives me something to do, though, so I continue. When I feel balanced I put everything I have into one word.
Sam.
I hear myself. He doesn’t answer, so I repeat the procedure and call again. This time I feel as if he’s listening. I call once more and finally hear him responding, calling my name back to me. Keeping my eyes closed, I stand and follow the sound, depending on my hearing rather than my sight, which is useless in this environment. He continues to answer my calls with his own. He’s pleading for me to find him.
Like a miracle, he’s there. I see his hand reaching for me. I grasp his hand desperately, and with a wrenching, painful jerk I’m hauled into the light.
My eyes open, my vision filled with the sight of Sam grinning at me, tears running from his eyes so like my own, rimmed in green instead of gold. His copper hair is a mess, made more so as I reach up and thread my fingers through it. I pull his mouth to mine, hungry for the sensation of life after the desolation.
His mouth on mine is desperate as he hauls me up into his arms, clasping me tightly against his chest. My return kiss is just as frantic, my fingers urging his mouth closer to mine. Finally he pulls back a little, resting his forehead against mine as he stares into my eyes.
“I love you,” he says, his voice full of fervent emotion. “You came back to me.”
“You found me,” I answer. “I was lost, and you found me.”
He pulls me close again, hugging me as if he’s afraid he might lose me if he let go. I return his embrace, my eyes closed against the brilliance of my love for him. I’ve loved him for a long time, but I’ve never felt this strongly for him, as if he is the center of my existence, as if I must protect his life with my own if I’m to survive myself.
I become aware of another hand grabbing mine. I open my eyes and see Stacy there, tears streaming down her face.
“Stacy,” I breathe, and Sam releases me so that Stacy can take his place. Behind her back I grasp his hand, refusing to let him move further away. I don’t know where I am, or why, but I remember what he can do with my hand, and I don’t care.
“Niahm, I thought you were dead. But you’re not. You’re here, you’re really alive,” Stacy gushes as she holds me. “I didn’t believe them when they told me what they were, what you were, but it’s true.”
Her words penetrate my cloud of happiness and I push back from her, but still not relinquishing my hold on Sam.
“What? What did you say?” I ask her. Her face changes and she glances uncertainly at Sam. Sam gently takes her arm and urges her out of the way so that he can sit next to me once again.
“Niahm, what do you remember of the past few days?” he asks me.
“I...” I trail off, trying to remember. I remember my trip with Jean, Stacy tagging along for her college interviews. I remember our day shopping, our visit to the spa. I remember the Chinese restaurant—
“The Sentinels!” I exclaim. “Jean, where is she?”
“I don’t know,” Sam says. Do you remember being chased through the warehouse?”
I didn’t until he said it, then it all comes flooding back.
“Oh no,” I breathe on a sob. “They took Jean?”
“I don’t know,” Sam says again. “Can I show you something?”
“Okay,” I acquiesce reluctantly, and immediately the warmth begins to flow between our hands. Only this time he’s showing me the messages Jean had sent him as she stood in the warehouse, hugging me. “She left for me?” I ask. Sam nods. “They might have her?”
“I don’t believe they do,” Shane says. My eyes go to him for the first time, and I can see how tired he is. Suddenly, I realize how tired all of them are. “I don’t think they would have kept pursuing us if they had her.”
“You think she managed to get away?” I ask doubtfully.
“They came back after the two of you. That’s how you were shot. They wouldn’t have done that if they’d had who they were after to begin with,” Shane says.
I look at Sam, who’s watching me with sympathy. “She said she’d meet us,” he says. “All we can do is wait, be there when she says she will.” I reach up and sooth a thumb beneath his eye.
“You look exhausted,” I say. “I didn’t think you could get tired.”
“I can get tired,” he says. “It just doesn’t come from lack of sleep.”
“What, then?” I ask.
“Worry,” he says, which bring my thoughts immediately back to the details I’ve been trying to i
gnore.
“I was shot?” I say.
“Yes,” Sam answers.
“Where?” I ask.
Sam reaches behind me and places his finger on a spot on the soft area of my back, where my kidneys reside. “Here,” he says, moving his finger to the outside edge of my abdomen. “It exited here.”
I lift my shirt, and see a small bruised circle on my abdomen. How long has it been? Long enough for the wound to heal, and... suddenly, I look around, aware of just where I am. Not in a hospital, not home in bed. In the motel, alone with Sam, Shane, and Stacy. No medical equipment surrounds me.
“I...” I swallow over the lump that’s formed in my throat. I take a breath, not wanting to ask but needing to know. “I’m... like you?”
“Yes,” Sam says, watching me cautiously.
I shake my head, denying it, tears starting.
“I’m so sorry, Niahm,” Sam begins, but Shane moves to sit on my other side.
“I tried to save you, Niahm,” he says, sorrow and candor in his words. “We all did. We couldn’t take you to a hospital, not with the Sentinel’s.... Even then, they couldn’t have saved you, Niahm. There was too much blood loss.”
“Show me,” I say through my tears, pushing my hand into Sam’s, closing my eyes. He does, beginning with our running to the van. I’m horrified at what he observes, at his feelings of utter despair and guilt at the whole incident. He shows me everything, all the way to the moment my eyes opened. I open them once again, letting my vision fill with the pure vision of Sam.
I don’t know how to feel about this. I don’t want to live forever, I don’t want to spend eternity looking over my shoulder for Sentinels. I don’t want to leave my home. Then I realize that even more than all of that, I don’t want to lose Sam. I don’t ever want to be away from him again, even if it means moving around the world more than my parents did. For the first time I have some clarity as to why they did it.
My mom had searched for someone who meant so much to her, and my dad had followed because he couldn’t imagine living without her, even for a couple of weeks at a time. I understand now why they did what they did, that it had nothing to do with me, that they were driven by forces beyond their control. I understand because I’m now willing to do the same for Sam.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers again.
“I’m not,” I say, meaning it. His beautiful copper brows lift in surprise, but I give his hand a squeeze. “Look,” I say.
He shakes his head. “No, Niahm, I told you I wouldn’t do that again.” Then he laughs. “Of course, I did it the entire time you were wounded and then...”
“Now, Sam,” I say. “I’m asking you to look now.”
He does, and like the sun coming out after a cloudy day, his face clears, his eyes regaining the sparkle and humor I’ve never been able to see quite so clearly thorough his contacts.
I love you.
My answer is a kiss that confirms how very much he loves me as well.
Chapter 55
Niahm
It’s complicated trying to leave my life in Goshen. I’d always lived in a permanent way, so it isn’t easy trying to extricate myself from my home. My heart breaks as I realize I won’t even be able to graduate with my friends, the people who have been an integrated part of my life from my first memory. But we have to go now, before the Sentinel’s come. We can’t risk them finding us here and possibly hurting any of my townspeople.
I give Bessie to Stacy’s dad, and the chickens to the Hill’s. Sam arranges to have the horses picked up and moved to a stable until it’s safe to bring them to us once again. I refuse to give up Bob. Sam doesn’t even try to argue the logistics of moving a dog around with us. I think he’s as attached to Bob as I am. No one knows I’m going so soon.
I know what kinds of stories will be imagined to explain my sudden departure with Sam and Shane. At first I’m upset about that, then decide it’s okay. It will give everyone something to talk about for a while, anyway.
Sam and Shane put their ranch up for sale, but I can’t bring myself to sell mine quite yet. I know I’ll have to eventually, but there’s too much loss to deal with already.
“Stace, are you going to be okay?” I ask her again.
“Yes, for the cajillionth time,” she says, rolling her eyes. “I’m going to see you again,” she says firmly. “Even if it’s when I’m old and gray, and you’re still young and beautiful, and I’ll be insanely jealous.”
“I’m going to miss you more than anything,” I say, hugging her.
“I know,” she says. “But you’ll never forget me, no matter how much time passes.”
“I won’t,” I say, looking at her, smoothing her hair back. “You’ve gone above and beyond as my friend... as my sister, really. You’ve saved my life, more than once—in more ways than one.”
“Yeah, well, you made life in dull Goshen exciting,” she says. “Think of the great stories I’ll be able to make up for my kids about my immortal friend.” Stacy is much more comfortable referring to me as immortal than I am. “Go,” she says, looking beyond me to where Sam waits in his truck. “You have your own immortal waiting for you. How romantic is that? You guys genuinely get the happy forever.”
I look back to where Sam waits, and can’t refute her words. I clasp her tightly to me, no more words necessary to covey my love and appreciation. Then I turn and run to the truck. I climb in, sliding over to the middle, pushing Bob to the passenger seat and we drive away. I watch Stacy until I can no longer see her, then Bob and I both watch Goshen fade. Bob seems to understand that we are leaving, never to return. He gives on high pitched whine as it disappears.
Sam drives silently for a few more minutes, then without a word pulls over to the side of the road, turning to take me into his arms. He holds me while I cry, his hands moving up and down my back in a soothing motion.
“Sam,” I ask after a few minutes. “What am I going to do if you ever leave me?”
He laughs. “Niahm, it doesn’t work that way. I love you. I’ve felt what it is to lose you, I won’t put myself through that again.”
“Yeah, but I can get pretty annoying,” I say. “Sometimes I’m even sick of myself.”
He puts his hands on my cheeks, ducking to look directly into my eyes. “Niahm, there isn’t anything that will take me from you. Or you from me.”
I smile at him, then narrow my eyes. “You seem pretty sure of yourself. What if I find someone I like better?”
“I always thought I was bound to you,” he begins.
“You’re not?” I interrupt.
“Oh, I definitely am,” he says. “But I believe it’s more. I didn’t really recognize what it was until I saw it in you.”
“Saw what?” I ask.
“Remember when you first opened your eyes, how overwhelming your feelings for me were? How you felt you couldn’t exist without me?”
I nod, remembering those feelings clearly, feelings that returned each time I looked at him.
“It’s the same for me,” he says. “It was faster than the normal binding with someone, stronger. Neither Shane nor I recognized it because we’ve never even heard of anything like it before. It must be rare, but exists, and someone, somewhere knows what it is, has a name for it. It doesn’t matter what the name is, though, Niahm, I only know that I can’t exist without you. I won’t, as long as I have any say in it.”
“Do you think it only happens between immortals?” I ask, curious now.
Sam shrugs. “Maybe. Seems like it would be incredibly unfair for an immortal to feel this way about a mortal who would not survive for many years with them.”
“Hmm,” I say, my curiosity about it disappearing. “I don’t need a name for it either. I know what it is, and that’s good enough for me. It makes me your immortal, and you mine.”
“Mm,” Sam answers, lowering his mouth to mine, one arm behind pulling me close, the other resting alongside my neck, holding me a willing captive. When he releases me,
he grins.
“I’m going to have to marry you soon,” he says, slightly breathless.
“How soon?” I ask, completely breathless.
“Tomorrow?” he says.
“How about today?” I tease.
“I’ll marry you whenever and wherever you say, Niahm Parker.”
“Ditto, Sam... is that your real name?” I ask, the thought suddenly occurring to me.
“It’s a close translation,” he answers. “My birth name is Sorley Padraig Ó Clúmháin, Samuel Patrick Coleman. I try to keep some part of my real name in all of my incarnations. This is the closest name to my real name, which seemed appropriate since my hair is its natural color for the first time in a long time.”
I look up at his gorgeous hair, filled with sadness that it will soon be covered by hair dye, as will mine.
“Okay, well Sorley Padraig O... ”
“Cloo-waun,” he pronounces slowly.
“Cloo-waun,” I repeat. “I will also marry you anytime, anywhere... with our real names, though I may have to practice that a little.”
“Deal,” he says, kissing me again. Bob nuzzles between us, and Sam laughs. “Not to worry, Bob, you’ll be best man... er, best dog.”
Bob barks once as if in agreement. We laugh, and Sam puts the truck into gear as we pull back onto the road, heading off into the unknown, but at least we’ll be facing the unknown together. Forever.
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About the Author
Cindy C Bennett is the bestselling young adult author of Geek Girl and Heart on a Chain. She lives in Salt Lake City, Utah with her high school sweetheart who also happens to be her husband. She's the proud mom of two sons and two daughters, as well as two daughter-in-laws. When she's not writing (or any of the many activities that go hand-in-hand with that) you might find her on her Harley Davidson, cruising the canyons near her home. She happens to adore her readers, and is grateful to them for reading her work and giving her the chance to do this thing that she is so very passionate about. Yup, she's living the dream!