I am so often wrong about things.
“Am I disturbing you?” Alex asked with a wicked smile, his eyes dark and full of secrets as he leaned against the door frame holding a bottle of wine in one hand.
I grabbed his free arm and pulled him in, stepping into his arms as easily as if I had done it a million times before. “You always disturb me,” I said against his lips, and set my soul a-flying as I kissed him with every ounce of longing I had.
He kissed me right back, which is the beauty of kissing, really. It’s not the mere act of pushing your lips up against someone else’s lips, it’s the sharing, the give-and-take, the wonderful sense of oneness that a truly inspiring kiss generates, and Alex was nothing if not inspired. He started my blood boiling, warming the fires sleeping within me, filling me with languor and excitement at the same time.
“I think we’d better slow down a little,” he said once I peeled myself off his lips. I nodded, gasping a little for air, too overwhelmed by his passion to do or say anything that required coherence.
“I’ve come prepared,” he added, turning his wicked smile up a couple of notches. He held up the bottle of wine. “Libation.”
“Oh,” I said, still a bit befuddled by his kiss. “Wine. Nice.”
“And I brought this.” A small white and blue plastic package dangled from his fingers. “I thought it looked like it might rain.”
“You are truly a wicked man,” I smiled. “Which is no doubt why I like you so much, but you needn’t have brought your raincoat—I have several myself. I’m sure we can find something that suits you.”
I made a valiant attempt to throttle back the leer playing about my lips while Alex opened the wine and I turned up my love-scene-writing music (Burt Bacharach and Dusty Springfield—puts me in the mood every time). My attempt at cool sophistication wasn’t successful, but it’s hardly my fault. Every time I got a hold of myself, I’d glance over to Alex and see his gaze smoldering at me.
“I feel like I should be saying I will slip into something more comfortable,” I giggled, striking a seductive pose by the chaise. “But this truly is the most comfortable thing I have.”
Alex set the wine and two glasses down in front of the chaise and snaked an arm around me, pulling me tight to his chest. “I’ve always found T-shirts to be very sexy, especially when they have Mickey Mouse emblazoned across the front.”
Little nibbles around the neckline of my oversized T-shirt followed his words. I sighed and tilted my head to give him better access to all of those spots that loved to be nuzzled. A groan rasped from deep in my throat as he kissed a hot, wet path down my neck to my collarbone.
“Alex,” I gasped, clinging to the strength of his arms lest my legs give way from under me. “You’re melting me. You make me ache for you. This isn’t fair—I want you to ache for me, too.”
Abruptly he sat down on the chaise, pulling me down so I sprawled across his lap, still clutching his shoulders. “I do ache for you,” he replied, one hand sliding up my thigh as he nipped my bared shoulder. “You’re always in my thoughts; no matter what I’m doing, I’m distracted by visions of you lying in my arms like this, warm and sweet and so tempting.”
“Did you finish your report?” I asked breathlessly as his hand moved up over my hip. “Can you stay the night?”
“Yes,” he answered, bending me backwards against the chaise cushion. Both of his hands slid along my sides and higher, pushing my T-shirt up before them. He bent over me, kissing one breast. “And yes.” He kissed the other one. I lifted my arms as he pulled the T-shirt over my head, then I arched beneath his roaming hands.
“Oh, yes,” I agreed fervently, mindless as to what it was I had asked him, content to clutch his shoulders as he nibbled around my front side, never touching my nipples, making my breasts swell and long for the heat of his mouth.
“You’ve haunted my dreams,” Alex whispered against the underside of my breasts. Long fingers made lazy circles around them, drawing ever closer to the taut peaks. I wanted to shriek at him to stop toying with me, but oh, it was such sweet torture.
“The silky feel of your skin fills my mind,” he murmured, kissing a path around my chest. “The way your curves fit my hands perfectly drives me mad…” Both hands slid down my ribs and over the flare of my hips, then underneath to cup my behind. His fingers rubbing the satin of my underwear against my heated flesh was enough to make my toes curl. “…the taste of you flavors every breath I take.” His mouth and teeth and tongue nibbled their way across my belly, setting my skin afire wherever his lips touched me. It was too much, too much for me, too much pleasure and pain and need and desire, all rolled together into an indescribable maelstrom of emotions that brought tears to my eyes. I grabbed his hair and tugged until his lips were above mine.
Eyes as dark as a forest at midnight held me in their gaze, wanting me, desiring me, making me feel as if I held the future in the two palms that framed his face. “Alex, there is a time and place for foreplay, but right now isn’t it. Maybe later, but right now I’m going to go out of my head if I don’t have you inside me. Please. Now!”
A lovely deep chuckle rumbled out of his chest. “Are you saying you don’t want me to do this?”
His hands trailed down my hips and legs, pulling my underwear off and tossing it God knows where. I didn’t care, my attention was on the warmth of his hand when it returned to the inside of my thigh, sliding up slowly, going straight to where my need was the greatest. His fingers curled into me, gently probing and seeking until his thumb brushed up against the very center of my desire, making me jump with the waves of pleasure that followed his touch. One finger dipped into me as he leaned forward to reclaim my mouth, leisurely tasting me, teasing my tongue with a seductive, sensual dance.
“No,” I gasped once he pulled his mouth away, writhing against the gentle ministrations of his fingers below as they generated an exquisite pleasure that was almost pain. “You can do that, I guess, if you really want to, but it hardly seems fair since you aren’t enjoying…oh, God, right there, just do that again, please.”
He did it again, and again after that. My back arched of its own accord, thrusting my hips forward into his hand, my breasts hard and begging for his touch. “No, Alex, no more—you’ve got to stop now. I don’t want to do this alone!”
“I’m right here,” he breathed, his lips sweet on mine as his fingers continued their erotic dance. My belly tensed in anticipation as thousands of little nerves came to life under his touch. “I won’t leave you.”
“Alex!” I shrieked, clinging to his shoulders, unable to keep my head from thrashing side to side, my body shaking with the nearness of ecstasy.
“Let yourself go, sweetheart,” he said just before he kissed me, his fingers thrusting into me, teasing me until I couldn’t stand the strain any longer. He took my shout of pleasure into him, took my shudders of joy and held me tight, safe in his arms, and by doing so, took the one thing I never thought I would give.
He took my heart.
Hot tears leaked out of the sides of my closed eyes, tears of joy, tears of happiness, and tears of sorrow because I knew what would happen. I’d been through it before, but this time I knew it would be worse. When he left me, this time my heart wouldn’t recover.
“Do you always cry when you find your pleasure?” his soft voice asked, accompanied by softer lips as they kissed away my tears.
“No,” I whispered, opening my eyes at last to look into his. They were dark and misted with passion and need. “Only you make me cry.”
His head dipped and he gave me another leisurely, thorough kiss. The fires he started within me burst into immediate flame.
“Is that a compliment or a complaint?”
I combed my hands through the silkiness of his hair and pulled him back to my mouth. “No one has ever moved me the way you do, Alex. No one has ever made me feel the things you make me feel. You are…” I let myself drown within the depths of his emerald eyes. “You
are everything I have ever wanted.”
He gazed back at me, the smile that quirked his lips fading as I stripped away every defense I had and let him see the real me, the Alix only he had touched, the woman who wanted him and who would never again be the same. Emotion so thick it was almost tangible wrapped around us, encasing us in a warm cocoon, bonding us together with silken threads of desire, yearning, need…and love.
Warning bells went off in my head, screaming that his expression was too serious. The emotions I was feeling were too much, too fast, too frightening in their intensity. I had to bring us both down to earth and fast, before he—or I—said something that shouldn’t be said yet, maybe never would be said.
I pushed on his chest, sliding to the side so he ended up on his back on the chaise with me lying halfway across his chest as I hastily undid his shirt buttons. “You have too many clothes on,” I told him.
“I do,” he agreed, tugging his soft linen shirttails from his trousers. I peeled off the garment and spent a moment admiring his chest.
“I really like your chest,” I said, wondering if he heard the odd little hitch in my throat. “It’s a lovely chest, nicely furred without being grossly hairy, and you’ve got the cutest little nipples I’ve ever seen on a man.”
“The feeling is mutual,” he said, reaching for me, but I scooted down the chaise out of his reach.
“Huh-uh, this time it’s my turn to make you crazed with lust and wanting and everything you just gave me. My, my, my, what do we have here?” I put my hand on his fly and felt his hard length jump beneath my hand.
“Alix—”
“O-o-oh, I like it when you growl like that, it’s very sexy. I think we’ll just leave this little fellow alone for a few moments while I take care of some other business.”
“Little?” The word dripped outrage.
I grinned up his long body as I slipped off his shoes. “Sorry, figure of speech. No slurs intended. Are your feet ticklish?”
“Yes, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t touch—ALIX!”
“Hee hee hee. Sorry, I won’t do that again. Well, maybe just on this foot—”
He cursed and jerked his leg back when I slid my fingers along the underside of his foot as I pulled his sock off. I made a mental note to investigate his ticklish spots later as I reached for his belt. He obliged by lifting his hips when I pulled the rest of his clothes off. His stallion wasn’t just ready and waiting at the door, it was champing at the bit, pulling at the traces, and waiting to be sprung. So to speak.
“Wow,” I breathed, staring at it. “You know, I’ve never thought this particular part of a man was at all attractive—functional, yes, but attractive? Not really—but I have to say, Alex”—I reached out and wrapped my fingers around the base—“yours is really, really nice.”
“Thank you,” he groaned, his hands clutching convulsively at the chaise cushions. “It reassures me to know my genitalia meet your exacting standards.”
I touched the very tip of him, spreading the bead of moisture around the sensitive underside of the head. He groaned even louder, his eyes closed as I stroked down the long, hard length of him, teasing him with soft little squeezes of his taut balls. I raked my nails softly on them, then up along the underside of his shaft, wrapping my fingers around him, enjoying both the feel of hot, velvety skin sliding over the steel beneath and the soft little moans Alex was making as he thrust his hips upward, pushing himself through my hands. I didn’t stop to try and figure out why I was gaining so much pleasure by merely touching him, I just was, and since the look on his face bordered on blissful, I figured I was making him a happy camper as well.
“Let’s see how you like this,” I crooned as I leaned forward and licked a circle around one dark brown nipple that poked oh, so insouciantly up from the surrounding soft brown hairs. I gave his balls a friendly little squeeze when I bit down gently on his nipple, then giggled at his shout of surprise. His chest was heaving as he tried to catch his breath, a light sheen of sweat adding to the erotic sight of his body bucking beneath my hands. It was a heady moment, full of the power and the knowledge of generations of women, but Alex was yelling at me to stop before he lost control, so I reluctantly released my grip and instead kissed a line along his jaw.
“Alix,” he gasped, his body as taut as a bowstring.
“Yes, my pet?”
“You were right. There is a time for foreplay, and this isn’t it.”
I gave a little scream as he lunged forward at the last couple of words, grabbing me around the waist and hauling me over the top of him. I squirmed off him, explaining, “Raincoats! I’ve got special raincoats my sister gave me. Hold on a minute, you’ll like this!”
The box of condoms had been moved over to a small wicker end table next to the window. I grabbed them and, shaking the box at Alex, did a few bossa nova steps back to where he lay sprawled on the chaise. “We have cherry and banana and mint and grape—take your pick!”
His gorgeous, lust-muddled eyes narrowed as I placed the condoms on his chest and leaned down to nip his chin. “What are you talking about?”
I smiled brightly and prodded the box toward him. “Raincoats! Flavored condoms! You just tell me what flavor you want, and we’ll get you all gussied up and ready to play.”
He peered down suspiciously. “Your sister gave these to you?”
“Yep. Cait’s a firm believer in everyone having raincoats. These are special ones. You like grape?”
One chestnut eyebrow arched as I plucked the protection from his chest. “I don’t believe my preference is the deciding factor, Alix. There’s no physical way I can…erm…appreciate its…uh…flavor.”
I rooted around in the container, blinked a couple of times as I acknowledged the truth in his statement, then found what I was looking for and flourished a tiny gold and purple packet. “Grape! No, it’s mine.” I pulled my hand back when he tried to grab for it. “I get to put it on you. It’s erotic that way. I read that in a magazine.”
“Alix, if you do anything else erotic to me, I won’t be needing a condom,” he warned.
I smiled. “It’s OK, I’ll be careful. I don’t want you grabbing the brass ring before the carousel has stopped. Let’s just see if this has any instructions.”
“Instructions?”
My smile deepened. “Well, you never know. I might have to lick something to enhance the grapeness.”
Alex groaned and closed his eyes, his hands fisted next to his hips. “Just put the bloody thing on me before I expire.”
“OK. Um…” I opened the package and pulled out the lavender condom. It smelled grapey, but something the label said made me curious. I consulted the directions, then eyed Alex, trying to measure that part of him with my eyes, wondering where Stephanie would keep a ruler.
“What the devil are you doing?”
I glanced back at where he was frowning at me. “How big are you?”
“What?”
“How big are you? You know, how long?”
Alex stared at me in open-mouthed surprise. “Do I take it you suddenly don’t like what you see?”
I gave him a couple of strokes just to reassure him that I was more than happy with his meat and two veg. “On the contrary, I think you’re a little on the oofy side, but I’m sure everything will work out just fine.”
“Oofy?”
“Big.”
“Ah. Then why do you want to know—”
I held the box out to him and pointed to the big red letters emblazoned there. “This says the raincoats are extra-extra long. They call it ‘Gladiator-length, for the barbarian in your life.’ I was just wondering if you are gladiator material.”
“Oh, for Christ’s sake, Alix, just—”
“OK, OK.” I pushed him back down from where he was trying to get up and turned around to apply the grape condom to the appropriate body part. “No need to get up in arms, I’ll put it on you.”
He growled low in his chest.
; “Um…hang on, there seems to be…blast, I think it’s stuck…no, wait, there it goes. I guess it sat in the sun too long, it’s kinda sticky, but”—I looked up with a reassuring smile—“really, really grapey. Oh, hell.”
Alex sighed, his eyes closed, his face resigned. “It broke?”
I pursed my lips and looked at his purple-covered manly bits. “Um…no. Evidently you’re not gladiator-length. There’s a bit extra left over, but it doesn’t matter, I’ll just leave it rolled up there.” I patted the extra rolledup bit of condom firmly into place at the base of his penis, and looked up and gave him another smile. “All done. So, you ready to rumble?”
One eye opened and looked at me.
“Oh, come on, Alex, don’t look so cranky. I know that was a bit of a bother, but now you’re all suited up and we can get down to business.”
He growled again, but hauled me over his chest, swinging around until I was underneath him. To tell the truth, I was a bit relieved that the condom interlude had shattered the strangely charged, emotional moment that had overtaken us earlier. If I wasn’t sure before, I was now. I was falling in love with Alex, and I was fairly certain he could see the depth of my feelings mirrored in my eyes, but it wasn’t something I wanted to talk about. I needed some time to get a grip on my emotions before I faced the issues of love, separation, and the resulting heartbreak.
The breather had done much to lighten Alex’s mood as well. He was positively playful as he nibbled and nipped me, teaching me just how sensitive the skin at the back of my knees was, moving quickly to assault my belly with tongue and teeth, kindling the fires of desire until I swore I was going to spontaneously combust. I did my best to drive him into the same inferno that consumed me, raking my nails up and down, nipping and kissing him, making him pant and groan his pleasure at my touch.
“Enough!” I cried, desperate to feel all of him. Curving my hands around his wonderfully smooth behind, I begged, “Alex, stop teasing me, stop tormenting me. I’m going to go up in flames if I don’t have you inside of me. Now, Alex, please, now!”
He made a soft, seductive noise deep in his chest that made me wild with need. I wrapped my legs around his and flexed my fingers into his behind as he pushed slowly into me. He was big and hard and hot and fit oh, so perfectly. He sank into me, filling every crevice, burrowing deeper, making room for himself within my core, my center, the part of me that needed him most. All of those marvelous little muscles that lay dormant down there just waiting for this moment suddenly went to work, gripping him, tightening and releasing, flexing around him as he moved even farther into me. I tossed my head back and groaned with the soul-deep satisfaction of joining with him.