~ ~ ~
The sun was high overhead when she finally awoke. Kate could hear birds chirping and she felt the warm caress of a breeze across her face as she opened her eyes; the intense sunlight poured into her room, spilling onto the rug and brightening the colors. Looks like it’s going to be a nice day.
Kate stretched, enjoying the comfort of her bed, before she rolled over and caught sight of Sam’s cabin. She shot bolt upright in bed and immediately felt a wave of guilt wash over her. While Sam was recovering and the men who had done this were still out there running around free, she had been sleeping like she hadn’t a care in the world. She silently cursed herself and got dressed as quickly as she could.
By the time she got downstairs, her brothers had already finished breakfast and were talking quietly while her father was drinking his habitual second cup of coffee.
“Has anyone been up to see Sam?” Kate’s voice came out a bit more unhinged than she’d intended.
“He’s fine, Katie,” Thomas said. “Becky was already up there to bring him breakfast, in fact.”
Kate’s heart slowed a bit. “Okay, that’s good,” she said. She sat down and reached for a thick slice of Mary’s freshly baked bread, slathering it with a blanket of marmalade. “I need to go talk to Edward right away. Jake, will you drive me?”
“Sure thing,” he said, rising from his chair. “I’ll go get the carriage ready.”
She ate quickly, washing down her breakfast with a cup of tea, and by the time she heard the runabout arrive in front of the house, Kate was ready to leave. She took two steps from the porch, out into the bright day, and then stopped. The side rail of the carriage was a splintered, shattered mess.
“My God, what did they do to him?” she asked as her hand flew to her mouth.
“He’s a strong man, Kate,” Jake said quietly. “He’s going to be okay. Are you ready?”
“Just a minute,” she said to Jake. “I forgot something.” She quickly went back into the house and began to rummage in the front closet. A minute later she had found what she was looking for and was seated next to Jake in the runabout, Sam’s red silk parasol over her like a shield.
Her brother drove carefully but rapidly, and Kate had plenty of things to think about as they went. She would have ordinarily enjoyed the ride, considering the beautiful weather and the green rolling hills that surrounded them, but today it was merely something to endure before she could find some answers. She barely spoke to Jake as they rolled along, though he apparently understood that it was nothing personal. As he slowed the carriage to a stop outside Edward’s offices, he turned to her and laid his hand on her forearm.
“I’ll be waiting right here,” he said. “And don’t worry too much, Katie.” He jumped down to the street and jogged around to help her down. “I’m sure Ed will be able to help find out who did this.”
She nodded and turned to walk up the steps. After a word to the secretary at the big desk, she went upstairs and knocked before opening the door to Edward’s office and poking her head inside. He was hard at work, hunched over a ledger, but as soon as he looked up his studious expression was replaced with a broad smile.
“Darling!” His voice was warm and deep, and he came around his desk to greet her with a hug as she stepped into the office.
Wrapped in his arms, she felt safe again, as if the terrible events of the previous day were only an illusion that he could dispel with a simple touch. She closed her eyes and rested her head against his chest, taking a moment to savor his closeness. Everything’s going to be fine.
“What’s the matter, Katherine?” he asked. “You seem upset.”
She backed up a step and took a deep breath to compose herself. She still hadn’t found a way to talk easily about what had happened to Sam; even the thought of what he had gone through brought tears to her eyes. Just say it fast and plain, Katie. Get it out.
“Somebody attacked Sam while he was coming home yesterday,” she said. “They beat him and left him for dead,” she added, her voice hitching at the awful words.
“He died, then?” Carter asked.
“No, thank God he survived,” she said. “But barely. The Tiltons found him and brought him back to the farm, and we’ve been tending to him ever since. The doctor says he’s lucky to be alive.”
“Yes,” he said. “Very lucky.”
“Edward, it was a bunch of miners that attacked him. Do you know anything about that?”
“No. Why would I?”
“Well, it just seems to me that there must have been some reason behind it,” Kate said. “I mean, people don’t just go around trying to kill each other like that, and I thought you might have heard something.”
Carter looked down at his desk and shuffled some of the papers that lay there. “Nope. Not a thing.”
Kate lowered her head, searching to meet his eyes with hers. “Honestly? Because for the life of me, I can’t imagine why anybody would want to hurt him.”
Carter snorted. “There are always reasons why some men attract trouble,” he said. “Who knows what he might have gotten himself into? You said he was coming in from town, right? Could be that he lost money gambling, or maybe he had an argument in the saloon.”
“That doesn’t seem like Sam,” Kate said, shaking her head.
“Well, perhaps he got a little too interested in somebody else’s woman,” Carter said. “That’s probably the reason right there. Some men just never learn to respect boundaries.” He looked up from his paperwork and stared at her. His gaze, which had warmed Kate so often in the past, now seemed to stab at her like a cold wind.
Sam likes you, Becky had told her. Kate felt as if the floor was giving way beneath her. Am I the reason Sam was beaten within an inch of his life? It was like a great crack had suddenly appeared in the bond that she shared with Edward. Or at least, the bond that she had thought they shared.
“Edward, what are you saying?”
“I’m not saying anything. It’s just that trouble comes to a man who can’t keep his hands off other people’s property.”
“Is this about me? Did you do this to him?”
“Now, what reason would I have to do something like that?”
“You know what I’m talking about,” she said. “You were upset about what happened the other night when Sam…when he rescued me.”
“I wasn’t upset that he rescued you,” he said. “Don’t be silly. I just didn’t like his behavior afterwards.”
“Are you responsible for what happened to him?”
“Of course not. I would never dirty my hands that way,” he said.
“But did you have it done? Were those your men?”
His eyes, which had once reminded her of the lush green of the fields, now were like pebbles of jade, hard and cold. “I had nothing to do with it,” he said flatly, his jaw clenched. “But things like that don’t happen by accident. I’m sure that boy got what was coming to him. And if he’s smart he’ll get the message.”
“Edward, you’re frightening me.”
“You have nothing to be afraid of,” he said. “But I’m through talking about him. He shouldn’t be bothering us anymore.”
Kate picked up her purse and turned for the office door.
“Where are you going?”
“Home. Where else?”
“You’re just going to leave now?”
“Somebody has to look after Sam,” she said.
Carter’s eyes flashed with a fury that Kate had never seen, not in him nor in any other man. “You’re going to tend to that half-breed when we’ve just been going round and round about him?! Are you out of your mind?” he shouted.
Kate could feel her heart pounding as if it would burst through her chest, and she fought to tamp down both her fright and anger. “Edward, you have no right to speak to me like that,” she said, the tremor in her voice only hinting at the emotion boiling within her.
“I have every right! You’re my wife!”
“Not yet I’m not,” she said. “And after today I’m not sure that I’ll ever be.” Kate dug deep within and found the strength to turn and walk out without a glance back at Edward, who remained behind his desk shaking with anger.
“You stay away from him!” she heard him shout. “I’m warning you! I’m warning both of you!”
She quickly went down the stairs, ignoring the stare of the secretary and nearly running out into the street to where her brother waited with the carriage.
“That was fast,” Jake said, hopping down and hurrying over to her side to help her up. “Is he going to be able to find the guys who did it?”
Tears leaped into her eyes, and as Kate got settled she pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve. Deep breath, now. For some reason a memory of her mother flew into her mind and Kate clearly remembered being a young child, so upset about some now-forgotten incident that she could hardly speak. Her mother had crouched in front of her, gently stroked her cheek, and told her that if she slowly counted to ten in her mind, she’d be able to explain what had happened. Sure enough, it had worked like a charm. Kate closed her eyes and slowly counted, and when she reached ten she had calmed down considerably.
“Edward won’t be able to help,” she said, wiping her eyes. She threw a glance toward the front door, which remained closed. For now. “Let’s go home, Jake.”
He reached over and patted her on the arm. “Don’t worry,” he said. “We’ll find out who did this. Just like Dad said, justice will be served, either in this life or the next. You’ve got to believe that.”
As the carriage began moving, she couldn’t help glancing behind at the office doors, as if Edward were about to burst forth like a wild animal giving chase. For a moment she thought that she could see him silhouetted at the window upstairs, but then the figure disappeared. She turned back toward the front and settled in for the ride home, lost in thought and not saying a word until they arrived.
After Jake helped her down from the carriage, she went inside and had Mary pack a lunch basket.
“Has anybody been up to see him lately?”
“Becky was just up there again about an hour ago,” Mary said as she closed the basket and handed it to Kate. “He said he was going to take a nap.”
“Well, if anybody needs rest, it’s him,” she said. She made her way back up the hill and tried to open the door to the cabin as quietly as possible, but the creak of the wood split open the silence. As she stepped inside, Sam rolled over to look at her.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, only briefly glancing at him before her gaze fell to the floor.
“I’m not going to lie to you,” he said. “I’m sore as hell. Pardon my language.”
Kate smiled weakly at him. “I brought you some food,” she said, moving to the table and beginning to unpack the basket. “Are you hungry?”
“Yeah, I guess I could eat a little something.”
Kate unwrapped a piece of fried chicken and a thick slice of bread, still warm from the oven. She went to Sam, who sat up in bed and took the plate from her.
“Sorry to eat in front of you like this,” he said. “You should have brought something for yourself and we could have had lunch together.”
“Don’t worry about that,” she said. “With so much going on I surely couldn’t eat a thing. But don’t mind me. You need to keep your strength up.”
Sam nodded and started to eat; if an appetite was a sign of improving health, then Kate could see that he was on the mend. She went to the table and sat down while he ate; she didn’t want to make it seem like she was watching his every move, but she couldn’t keep herself from staring at him as he wolfed down his lunch.
Her conversation with Edward had chilled her to the bone, and in spite of the day’s warmth, she felt a chill. It was like she had a black cloud hovering over her, about to burst forth with a hellish storm at any moment, and with every passing minute she found it harder and harder to contain.
“Kate, what’s wrong?”
She glanced up. She had become lost in thought, and the look on her face must have given her away, she realized. Sam’s plate now held only chicken bones and bread crumbs, and she could see the concern on his face. As if he had nothing to worry about himself; now he’s worried about me.
“Sam, I feel absolutely horrible about this, but it’s burning me up inside,” she said as she stood up. “Ever since I found out, it’s been torturing me. I have to tell you something. Something awful.”
He rose up on one elbow, a small grimace twisting his mouth as he did so. “What is it?”
“I think I know who attacked you,” she said. “Or, at least, I know who put those men up to it.”
“It was your fiancé,” Sam said.
Kate’s jaw dropped. “You knew? I mean, Edward denied it, but when I spoke to him this morning, I just got the most dreadful feeling that he knew all about it. That he was behind it, even.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was Carter,” he said.
“But why would he do that? Have you two had bad blood between you?”
Sam smiled and eased himself back down to the pillow. “We had a little argument the other day,” he said. “He didn’t send those guys because of that, but it probably didn’t help.”
“What were you arguing about?”
Sam’s warm eyes met hers. “He thinks I’m trying to steal you away.”
Kate felt herself instantly grow warm, and she had to draw her gaze away. “Edward never mentioned that to me,” she said quietly.
“I’m sure he didn’t,” Sam said flatly. “He probably didn’t want to put any ideas in your head. But that’s why he sent those guys after me.”
“Sam, if you thought Edward was behind this, why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you say anything?”
He looked at her a long time before speaking. “Kate, this may be difficult to understand,” he said. “But I couldn’t just run to you and tattle on him, like some schoolboy who got his book stolen. This is something between him and me, man to man.”
“Well, not anymore,” she said. “I’m going to put a stop to this if it means I have to go talk to the sheriff.”
“Kate, I understand what you’re saying, and I know it must seem crazy,” he said. “But this is something I have to handle on my own.”
She leaped to her feet. “You men are so frustrating! You could have been killed out there!” Kate spun on her heel and began to pace back and forth. “And even after that you’re still saying you have to go it alone. Don’t you know you’re not alone?”
Sam stared at the floor. “Kate, I appreciate that. I don’t think you know how much it means to hear that,” he said. “But your fiancé is a coward. And cowards can be very dangerous sometimes. For your own sake, I don’t want you to get involved.”
“I’m already involved! And he’s not my fiancé anymore,” she blurted. The words surprised even her, although Sam was the one whose eyes widened. She let herself fall into the chair and dropped her face into her hands. Her mind was spinning. All the emotions that she’d felt in the last few days were churning inside her like a pot about to boil over. She’d been terrified both by the men in the alley and by Edward in his office this morning. She had fought off her fear only to have it replaced by the dread of what might have been, as she imagined Sam lying bleeding and broken out on the roadside. She had been humiliated by Edward speaking to her as he had this morning, and was embarrassed that she’d ever seen him as her future husband. Now, sitting across from the one man who had done so much for her—and whom she had treated badly on more than one occasion—Kate realized that it was true. She could never marry Edward now. It was over.
“He’s not my fiancé,” she repeated, as if to herself.
“What are you saying?” Sam asked. “You’re not going to marry Carter?” His voice was thin and quiet, as if he were almost afraid to voice his thoughts.
Kate took in a deep breath and let it all out slowly, like somebody who was admitt
ing a great personal defeat. “No, I guess I’m not,” she said. Her chin dropped to her chest and she covered her eyes with her hand. “How humiliating. I’ve been so naïve.”
“Kate, everybody makes mistakes,” he said. “Some get engaged to the wrong man. Other people choose bad names for cows.”
A little laugh jumped out of her throat. “Well, I guess that’s true,” she said. “The more I think about it, I would have truly regretted marrying Edward, sooner or later.”
“Well, maybe not. You could have had a nice life,” Sam said. “He’s rich. He’s got his own business.”
“I don’t care about any of that,” she said. “Leave it to me to pick the wrong man first before I find out what I really wanted,” she said.
“Well, at least you found out before the wedding.”
A grim smile drew itself across her lips. “I guess I got lucky.”
“So what kind of man do you really want, then?”
“I want a man who I can rely on,” she said. “A man who will watch out for me. A man who will…who’ll be there for me when I need him,” she said, her voice dying at the end as her gaze slipped back to Sam’s face. I’ve been such a fool, she thought. All this time, have I been looking for what was right in front of me?
She pulled the chair over to the side of the bed and sat down. Sam smiled at her and his eyes glittered like black diamonds, throwing sparks of light toward her. Neither found the need to talk as they simply sat with one another.
With an effort she pulled her eyes from his and let her gaze drift over his face. Sam bore the scratches and bruises of a man who had been put through hell, though his soft smile showed no sign that he was in any distress whatsoever. He hasn’t complained, hasn’t snapped, hasn’t said one cross word. It’s like it meant nothing at all. How could he be so strong?
She felt the urge to lay her hand upon his cheek and had to restrain herself from stroking the side of his face. But why not? What’s stopping me now? Whether for good or for ill, there was no reason to hold back the feelings that she found building up inside her. She was a free woman again.
“My poor Sam,” she said, and she laid her hand against his cheek. Now he let out a sigh, as if in pain; his eyes closed and he swallowed hard. She could hear his breath quicken and was about to draw back her hand when he raised his own and placed it over hers. His touch was warm and soft, yet full of the strength that she had wondered at earlier.
Sam drew her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers, her palm, her wrist. Kate felt the blood racing in her veins as his lips trailed over her skin, and her own breath grew quick. He opened his eyes and his gaze pierced her like a spear that touched her very core; she felt as if she should look away, as if it were forbidden to watch him while his lips danced over her flesh. She looked down and felt him squeeze her wrist gently, pressing it against his mouth.
“Look at me,” he said. “I want to see those beautiful eyes of yours.”
“Sam, I can’t,” she whispered. “When you look at me like that, it’s like you’re seeing everything I have, everything I am.”
“And what if I want everything you have?”
She returned her gaze to his.
“Do you?”
He reached up and grazed the side of her face, letting his hand slip down the side of her neck. His skin was rough and warm, and Kate trembled at his touch.
“It’s okay,” he said quietly. He pulled her close until she could feel his warm breath against her skin. His lips brushed against her. “After all this time…for so long I’ve wanted to tell you,” he murmured, his mouth close to her ear. He kissed her cheek softly, and she trembled.
“What are you saying?” she whispered.
He kissed her again, just below the ear. “I want all of you,” he said quietly, his mouth close and his breath warm. “Don’t you know? Haven’t you always known?”
Her eyes closed as his mouth dropped down and he began to leave a trail of kisses over her throat.
“Tell me,” she said. “I want to hear it.”
“You’re the only girl for me,” he said. “You’ve always been the one for me. I knew that from the minute I first met you.” He took her by the shoulders and backed her away slightly so that he could see her face. His eyes, glittering like gems, bore into her again with an intensity both terrifying and thrilling at the same time.
It was as if she had forgotten how to breathe. She almost felt dizzy as the air raced in and out of her lungs, and she brought one hand to her chest to soothe the heart that was pounding so strongly.
“Do you really mean that?”
“I once thought that I would make something of myself all alone, because that’s what I was. All alone. And then when I met you, I thought…maybe I won’t have to be alone anymore.” His voice strained as he finished the sentence, and as he swallowed hard, she squeezed his hand. “You see that book over there?” he asked, nodding toward the leather-bound journal on the table. “That was my five-year plan.”
“Plan for what?”
“For everything,” he said. “I’m not always going to be a farm hand, Kate, and that was my plan to change my life. I worked on it for months, until my head was spinning, and in the end it was perfect. Turns out it just wasn’t perfect for me.”
“What went wrong?”
“Nothing went wrong,” he said. “Something finally went right when I met you. Even the first time I saw you, wrapped up in a sheet like an Egyptian mummy, I knew that my life had changed.”
She slapped him on the arm. “I was trying to forget that,” she said. “I was hoping you would too.”
“Not on your life. I’ll always remember that morning,” he said, his voice taking on a serious tone again, “because you always remember the moment when you realize that you belong to somebody else.”
“You belong to me?”
“I have since the first time we met,” he said. “I am hopelessly yours. Helplessly yours.”
Helpless, she thought. That makes two of us. She again felt faint as Sam watched her. Her eyes closed, unable to bear the intensity of his gaze. She had thought that her feelings for Edward had been the pinnacle of womanly emotion, but this was something different. There in Sam’s tiny cabin, with the gloomy dim light and the scent of musk and leather in the air, she realized that he had roused something else within her. He had woken something…more.
“Hold me, Sam,” she whispered, and he took her into his arms, his body hard against hers, clutching her as if he were afraid that she could float away. He brushed the hair out of her eyes and began to place soft kisses across her face.
“All this time I thought I was with the right man for me,” she said, “when it turns out the right man was in front of my eyes the whole time.”
“You mean that?”
She backed away slightly. His eyes were searching hers, as if to find some clue, some indication that she had truly spoken from her heart. It felt like she had been laid out bare before him, as if his gaze were a lantern that could light up every corner of her spirit until the truth had been revealed.
She took his face in her hands and kissed him again. “Sam Hall, you are the man I want,” she said quietly. “You’re the man I always wanted. I just didn’t know it until now.”
He held her to him as if she were a secret treasure that he was intent on keeping all to himself, searching for her mouth with his own. Kate felt a delicious tremor run through her body as their lips finally found each other. Now there was no hesitation, no doubt, nothing in his way, and he kissed her like a man who’d been holding back for a good long while.
His mouth on hers was filling her with a great wave of excitement; like the pounding surf that wears away the stone, any hesitation that she might have felt was worn away as well. Soon he wasn’t only kissing her, but she was kissing him back too. When she had discovered how strongly Sam felt about her, it had been one thing. Realizing that she loved him in return was quite another. Kate felt like she had cast
into the ocean, unable to do anything but float along on the rises and swells, moving only where the water would take her. She had feared becoming lost at sea, but instead she had found herself.
His hands were warm and strong on her body, and Kate could feel the blood rushing hot within her as he held her tight, letting his hands roam over her face, her neck, her arms. She buried her fingers in his hair as she kissed him, letting her tongue play against his, and she felt him slide one hand up her arm and over her shoulder, dropping down to her chest. He drank from her mouth like a wanderer at an oasis; as she felt the weight of his hand against her, her fist tightened in his hair.
Sam’s hand slid up to her neck, gliding over her skin and then slipping down inside her dress. Her breath caught in her throat and a shiver raced through her as he cupped her breast. Her flesh felt afire at his touch, arousing her senses in a way she had never known before.
“Are you my girl?” he whispered.
“Oh, Sam,” she murmured. “I’m yours. Entirely yours.”
She could feel his entire body become tense as he pressed himself against her, and his breath was racing. Then, in a rush, he tore his hands away from her body and brought them to his sides. “Katie, wait,” he said, though he had to fight his own desires just to tear his mouth away from hers. “I’m sorry. We have to stop.”
“Why? Is the pain too much? Does everything hurt?”
He grunted. “No, not everything,” he said. “I guess that’s the bright side. But you’re still engaged to Carter.”
She kissed him again. “Only technically,” she said. “That’s a problem I mean to address as soon as I can.”
“When?”
Another kiss.
“Soon,” she said. She ran her hand over his forehead, gently tracing a small cut that Sam had over his eyebrow, and moving his hair out of the way. She kissed him softly on the forehead and let her mouth fly back to his, then took his hand and pressed it to her chest again.
He kissed her deeply, but quickly, then gently pushed her back until they separated.
“What’s wrong? Don’t you want to kiss me?”
“Of course I want to,” he said. “Even beat up a little bit, I’ve got the same desires as any man. But I want to do things right. And if we keep going like this, it won’t be right. Especially when you’re still engaged to another man.”
She sat up and took a deep breath. “No, you’re right,” she said. She tucked a loose strand of hair back behind her ear. “I don’t know what I was thinking,” she said, hiding her eyes behind her hand. “You must think horribly of me right now.”
He reached to take her hand, pulling it away from her face. “Look at me,” he said.
Kate closed her eyes. “I can’t. I’m too embarrassed.”
“Katie, look at me,” he repeated. “What do you see in my eyes?” he asked. “Do you see anything but love?”
She slowly drew her eyes up to his. She couldn’t begin to count how many times she had seen Sam, but she had never seen him like this before.
“No,” she said. “No, I don’t.”
He reached for her hand and held it tight. “Believe me, I’ll be counting the days until I get you into bed with me again,” he said, unleashing a broad grin as she blushed. “But we’re going to do it proper.”
“Do you mean that? I mean, are you sure?”
“Katie Taylor, I intend to make you my wife,” he said. “If you’ll have me for your husband.”
“I will.” The words leaped out of her throat almost before she knew it. I will marry Sam. She hadn’t paused to even think about it, and as she rolled the thought around in her mind, she wondered how she could have been so blind earlier. Of course I’ll marry Sam. She blinked and was surprised to find herself suddenly on the verge of tears.
“What’s wrong?” Sam asked, his brow furrowed. “Kate, I’m sorry, I knew I should have gotten down on one knee,” he said, throwing back the blanket and pulling himself up with a grimace. “I’m just a little sore for that right now.”
She laid her hand on his chest and gently pushed him back into bed. “That’s not it,” she said. “Everything’s perfect. It’s just a lot to take in,” she said as she wiped her eyes. “Sam, you have to excuse me. You must think I’m so silly.”
“No, I don’t. I don’t think that at all,” he said. “This is a big thing, finding somebody to share your life with.”
“It’s not just that. It’s like everything I’ve ever done has just been passing time until today. I feel like my life has finally begun.”
“No,” Sam said. “Our life has begun.”
“Our life,” she repeated.
The sun was fading when Kate finally left the cabin, and it was as if the sky had been painted scarlet with a broad-tipped brush. That’s a good omen, she thought, remembering an old nautical saying. Red sky at night, sailor’s delight.
She sat on the porch for a long time, trying to impress into her memory the image of the fields, the grass, the wispy clouds racing away as they chased the dropping sun. A thin stream of smoke now rose from the chimney on Sam’s cabin, drifting up and dissolving into nothingness. Soon fireflies began to dot the air.
Sam had said that you always remembered the day when you realized that you belonged to somebody else. Kate closed her eyes. Sure enough. She could still see every detail, clear as day.