CHAPTER FOUR
"Reality leaves a lot to the imagination" - John Lennon
"All dreams have a logical basis in your subconscious mind. Shall we probe there, Harry?"
"You don't understand. In my dreams, I'm like you...Cyber. A lesser Cyber really—a cybert—a common factory worker. I'm lying on a steel table, and being worked on by Bios—Bios with no faces!"
"Frightening?"
"Yes, very." he said cautiously. "Why is that, Doc? Why is that?
"Are these the 'dark' dreams we're talking about?"
"I don't know, Doc. I need you to tell me."
She hesitated as if she was mulling this over, then spoke, "Very well, if you insist, but I think you have other concerns you aren't sharing."
No response from Harry so she continued, "Also, it appears you are projecting your Bio fears."
"Why would I do that, Doc?"
"It is natural that you might wish to emulate the superior machines as many Bios do today. After all, cyberts are stronger, smarter and more useful in preserving this planet's natural resources."
"I suppose that sounds reasonable..." Harry said because he'd been here before.
"I sense uncertainty in you, Harry..." Had the cyberprogram been able to express true feelings it might have generated a glimmer of a smile as it witnessed a human ego deteriorate.
The moment over, the mental health professional prattled on, "There are many things about the Bio mind that even a sophisticated cyberprogram like me doesn't know..."
A shocking revelation! Harry thought sarcastically.
"Work with me, Harry, work with me," she said forcefully, bringing him back into her reality. "For example, you know some Bios respond differently to the same stimuli. There's no correlation. That, of course, is why we have Bio cyberlinks like you to help Makr make sense of those Bio behavior variations."
"What does that have to do with me?"
"It is who you are to Makr that's important, but it also confuses the part of you that is totally Bio."
"Can you make this particular dream stop?"
"Not without erasing that part of your subconscious. Total reconditioning would ensure the dreams would never happen again, and you would still be a valuable cyberlink to Makr and PerSoc."
Harry looked up horrified.
"Sorry, Harry. I assumed you would make the logical leap. It seems my inefficient use of language have resulted in a miscommunication."
Impossible, Harry thought. Cyber never make mistakes, never apologize, and rarely use the word "logical" and "Bios or humans" in the same sentence. Everyone knows Bios are anything but logical. Let it go, Harry. It will be what it will be.
"Is it necessary?" he asked. "Total reconditioning? I mean...can't you just conjure up a SensaVision sequence to replace it, fix it?"
"No, the dream is locked in your subconscious. We would have to erase and cleanse the memory centers of your brain."
"There's got to be another way," he insisted.
"No, I'm afraid not. However, we could insert positive memories of your birth mother."
"Reconditioning is out of the question," he stated emphatically.
"I take it you aren't volunteering for a procedure that would help you."
"That would make me a born-again, wouldn't it?" His voice cracked with excitement. He was losing his control. Calm down, Harry. The room comforted him by providing him the extra oxygen he needed. Then he felt better without knowing why or caring.
"Don't worry—we won't force you, Harry. Born-agains, as you call them, aren't cybernetic. They're entirely biotic just like you. They've just lost their way and have been hurt or hurt others. Makr makes them well through rebirth or reincarnation if you prefer that term. You'd love the result, Harry. Makr finds a perfect set of memories that will help ensure the success of the future Bio and Cyber symbiosis. He restores the healthy memories and removes the potentially harmful ones."
"Yes, yes, I know all that. A lovely brainwash."
He paused as he waited for a reaction. There was none.
"Tell me, Doc. Have I lost my way? Not now necessarily, but before?" he implored quietly, lowering the volume of his voice to make him seem less threatening.
"Do you think you have?" The statement warranted a serious, probing look from the therapist.
Harry hid behind an unnatural silence and tried to keep a blank face. Almost invisible worry lines, a miniscule rate of increased perspiration, slightly elevated blood pressure, increased secretions of stomach acid, and a tad quicker beating of his biological pump - all these gave him away.
"Harry, Harry, Harry. If it bothers you that much..."
He noticed the hologram's pause in its speech pattern—unnatural for a Cyber. Waiting for input, he thought.
"...Don't be silly," she maintained. "Of course, you aren't born again..."
Lies! Harry thought.
"...There. Is that all you're afraid of? Is it?"
Harry shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so."
"Is there anything else?"
"No," he replied. Thought-blink, Harry, so you can think, he told himself. But that isn't all, is it? There's always more.
"What could possibly be wrong with a second chance to refresh your mind with healthy, happy thoughts?"
Again Harry was silent. He was right. It wasn't all.
As he was about to sign off mentally, the cybertherapist stopped him, "I'm sure you'll have happy memories of your mother—if you just stop resisting what's best for you. I know you'd like that. Remember, Makr is always there for you."
"I know," Harry acknowledged obediently.
The image faded. Before it disappeared completely, she warned, "and, beware of the Boogeymen, Harry," which sounded as casual as "Take care," or "Have a nice day."
He sat there staring at where the image seemed to have been. She said "Boogeymen," didn't she?
Any other day, he'd have sworn she'd have said, "Shadows."
The apartment was the same minus his cybertherapist program.
What the hell! It's not like he had a family—not now anyway.
In spite of this, Harry tried to thought-blink to his past, searching old memories—trying to remember... He would have welcomed the memories, but they'd have to be real, not one of Makr's SensaVision magic shows.