Dave taught me how to play golf, and he taught me according to how he swung the golf club, but I don’t swing mine the way he does and never will. We see this same example over and over. I hold the steering wheel of the car differently from the way he does, we apply the brakes differently, when I iron a shirt I start with the collar, my friend starts with the sleeve. What is the difference how we iron the shirt as long as it gets ironed properly?
I know people who say they have never felt the presence of God, and it really frustrated them when they heard others say things like “Did you feel God in this place tonight?” Some have great emotional experiences when they are born again or receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit, while others take it completely by faith and feel absolutely nothing, although they do see the fruit in their lives later.
At some time or another, I think we all fall into the trap of wondering why we are not like others we know or why we don’t have the same experiences they do, but it is a trap—and a dangerous one. We are caught in a snare set by Satan when we enter into spiritual competition and comparison and become dissatisfied with what God is giving to us.
We should trust that God will do the best thing for each of us and let Him choose what that is. If we trust God in this way, we can lay aside our fears and insecurities about ourselves. How we respond to God in different areas can be the result of many different things, such as our natural temperaments, past teachings, and levels of natural boldness. For example, Thomas was a doubter and God loved Him, but He also corrected him for having little faith. Seeing and feeling are great, but Jesus said, “Blessed are those who believe and have not seen” (see John 20:29).
I am sure we would all like to see into the spiritual realm and have an abundance of supernatural experiences, but being frustrated if we don’t only steals our peace and certainly does not produce visions of Jesus. I have had some “experiences” with the Lord, but I have also gone for many years without anything but faith.
I went through all the frustration, all the wondering what was wrong with me, wondering if I had committed some sin and God could not get through to me, wondering, reasoning, anxiety, unrest, no peace. . . . Then I found the answer: Don’t compare your spiritual life with that of anyone you know or anyone you read about. Be yourself. You are unique, and God has a plan just for you.
COMPARING CIRCUMSTANCES
Comparing your circumstances with those of other people will steal your peace and cause confusion about God’s unique plan for you. Remember, the devil wants to devour the blessings that God has set for you. The Word says to “withstand him; be firm in faith [against his onset—rooted, established, strong, immovable, and determined], knowing that the same (identical) sufferings are appointed to your brotherhood (the whole body of Christians) throughout the world” (1 Peter 5:9).
This Scripture shows us that we are to resist the devil quickly, stand firm against him at the onset of his attack, and know that everyone is going through difficulties in life. When we are in tough times, it seems Satan taunts us with thoughts that no one has it as bad as we do, but that is not true. There is someone in much worse circumstances than ours, no matter how difficult your or my situation may seem.
Realizing this builds gratitude and thankfulness, rather than self-pity, in our hearts. We should not be glad that others are suffering, but it does help us not to think we are the only ones waiting for a breakthrough from God. No matter how long we may have been waiting for God to do something we have prayed about, someone else has waited longer. No matter how sick, or poor, or lonely, or frightened any one of us may be, someone, somewhere is in worse condition.
God never promised us a life without trials; in fact, He promised us the opposite. He said there would be trials but that we should not fear them. “For He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]” (Hebrews 13:5).
The presence of trials and tribulations does not mean that God has forgotten us or that He does not love us. We sometimes look at someone who seems to be having a wonderful life while we are suffering and ask, “God, why don’t You love me the way You do that person?” We are tempted to think the same old question: What is wrong with me?
No matter what Satan uses, his purpose is the same: He wants us to think something is desperately wrong with us, and that we should have someone else’s life or be like someone else. He wants to keep us from self-acceptance and the freedom to be who we are and enjoy our lives.
Don’t despise your life and wish for another just because you are going through trials. If you had someone else’s life, your trials might well be worse than the ones you have now. Besides, whatever you are going through right now, remember, this too shall pass!
Look beyond where you are, see with the eyes of faith, and believe God for even the impossible. The Bible says that Abraham had no reason at all to hope, but he hoped on in faith that God’s promise to Him would be fulfilled (see Romans 4:18). A hopeful mind and attitude ministers peace and joy, while fear and discouragement steal both.
Don’t concentrate on your problems; keep your mind on Jesus and His good plan for your life. As you read God’s promises in the Word, adapt the Word as a personal letter to yourself. For example, paraphrasing Isaiah 26:3 as a personal letter to you, God is saying, “I will guard you and keep you in perfect and constant peace as you keep your mind on Me, because you commit yourself to Me, lean on Me, and hope confidently in Me.”
Where the mind goes, the man follows. If we let our minds dwell on negative things (our problems instead of God’s answers), our problems seem to multiply. The more we think about a problem, even a little one, the larger it seems to be.
I can honestly say now that I like myself. I admit it took a long time to get from where I was to where I am, but I really had nothing better to do than press on in God, and neither do you. For much of my life, I literally hated myself, and I know now that type of attitude is insulting to God, who carefully made us.
It costs nothing to be positive and believe that God can change you and your life. Jump-start your blessings by saying you love your life, and be thankful in all things, no matter what the circumstances may be, knowing this is God’s will for you.
Each time you are tempted (which you will be) to compare yourself, or any aspect of your life, with anyone else, resist Satan at his onset. Don’t even entertain thoughts of comparison to others. You are an individual, you are unique, and you have a right to enjoy your life, which must include enjoying your unique self.
Embrace your life. Wrap your arms around yourself right now as an act of faith and say out loud, “I accept myself, and I love myself in a balanced way. I’m not selfish, but I do affirm myself as a child of God, and I do believe He has created me and has a purpose for my life.”
ACCEPTING YOUR UNIQUENESS OPENS THE DOOR TO BLESSINGS
I mentioned earlier that God had put me “on a shelf” for a one-year interval during my ministry, at which time I decided I had a wild imagination and was not really called to ministry at all. I tried to be what I thought the world expected me to be as a woman, wife, and mother. I felt during that year that God was doing absolutely nothing in my life; I saw no progress in my ministry, so I concluded that it was over when actually it was only about to begin.
During that year of comparing, competing, and finally coming to the realization that even if I was less than perfect, I still had to be me, God was actually doing one of the greatest works in me He has ever done. He was setting me free to be me! This had to take place before God could promote me into the next level of my ministry. Right at the end of that year of trials, our family began going to a new church in town, and a short while later, I found myself teaching a weekly Bible study that was eventually attended by over four hundred people.
I became an associate pastor at that church, taught Bible c
ollegethree times a week, and learned a great deal that prepared me for the next challenge of my ministry, which included the media ministry that I am currently enjoying. Our daily television program is available to 2.5 billion people, we are on 350 radio stations, and I’ve had the privilege of writing nearly 60 books, as well as other very fruitful outreaches.
Our television program is aired around the world in 21 different languages, and we are adding new ones all the time. We air in the nation of India in 11 languages and recently had the great privilege of doing a major conference in Hyderabad. In 4 days, we ministered to 850,000 people with 250,000 decisions for Jesus Christ. Wow! What a privilege to be part of something like that.
None of this would be happening today if I had not stopped comparing myself with others and competing with them. It is vital for your future that you take this seriously and ask God to reveal any areas of comparison in your life.
If God has a plan for you and me, He certainly won’t bring it to pass as long as we are trying to be other people. God will never give us grace to be people other than ourselves. Without grace, life is filled with struggle, it is not a life we enjoy; but with His grace (power of the Holy Spirit), we can enter the rest (peace) of the Lord and experience joy unspeakable and full of glory.
When I was trapped in self-rejection, comparing and competing with many of the people God had placed in my life, He led me to an article that was life-changing for me. I want to share excerpts from it with you, and I pray it blesses you as it did me.
The following article about “the consciousness of sin, and longing for holiness” was a letter Hudson Taylor, missionary to China in the 1800s, wrote to his sister and was later reprinted; it is entitled “The Exchanged Life.” Hudson Taylor wrote:
Every day, almost every hour, the consciousness of sin oppressed me. I knew that if only I could abide in Christ all would be well, but I could not. I began the day with prayer, determined not to take my mind off of Him for a moment; but pressure of duties, sometimes very trying, constant interruptions apt to be so wearing, often caused me to forget Him. . . . Each day brought its register of sin and failure, of lack of power. To will was indeed present with me, but how to perform I found not. . . .
The last month or more has been, perhaps, the happiest period of my life; and I long to tell you a little of what the Lord has done for my soul. I do not know how far I may be able to make myself intelligible about it, for there is nothing new or strange or wonderful—and yet, all is new! In a word: “Whereas I was blind, now I see. . . .”
I felt the ingratitude, the danger, the sin of not living nearer to God. I prayed, agonized, fasted, strove, made resolutions, read the Word more diligently, sought for more time for retirement and meditation to be alone with God—but all was without avail. Every day, almost every hour, the consciousness of sin oppressed me. . . . I hated myself; I hated my sin; and yet I gained no strength against it.
I felt I was a child of God: His Spirit in my heart would cry, in spite of all, “Abba, Father,” but to rise to my privileges as a child [of God], I was utterly powerless.
I thought that holiness was to be gradually attained by diligent use of the means of grace. I felt that there was nothing I so much desired in this world, nothing I so much needed. But the more I pursued and strove after holiness, the more it eluded my grasp, till hope itself almost died out. . . . I knew I was powerless. I told the Lord so and asked Him to give me help and strength. . . .
When my agony of soul was at its height, a sentence in a letter from dear [John] McCarthy [in Hangchow, China] was used to remove the scales from my eyes, and the Spirit of God revealed the truth of our oneness with Jesus as I had never seen it before. McCarthy, who had been much exercised by the same sense of failure, but saw the light before I did, wrote (I quote from memory) “But how to get faith strengthened? Not by striving after faith, but by resting on the Faithful One.”
As I read I saw it all! “If we believe not, He [remains] abideth faithful.” I looked unto Jesus and saw (and when I saw, oh, how joy flowed) that He had said, “I will never leave you.”
“Ah, there is rest!” I thought. “I have striven in vain to rest in Him. I’ll strive no more. For has He not promised to abide with me—never to leave me, never to fail me?” And . . . He never will!
Joy will flow in our lives when we get our eyes off of ourselves and onto Jesus—off of what is wrong with us, and onto what is right with Him. Finally, when we realize that we are one with Him, we can live the “exchanged life” rather than a frustrating one.
Jesus took our old lives and has given us new ones. His life is in us, and He has given us His peace (see John 14:27). His joy is ours. He was made poor so that we might be made rich; He took our sin and gave us His righteousness; He took our sicknesses and diseases and the pain of our punishment and gave us His strength. Yes, He took everything bad and has given us lives to enjoy along with the peace that passes understanding.
Remember, Jesus said, “I came that [you] may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).” So enjoy the strengths that God has given to you, and focus on the life He wants you to enjoy. In the next chapter I will share with you how to avoid the paralysis of self-analysis and find peace by keeping your priorities in focus.
PEACEKEEPER #11
Keep Your Priorities in Order
I believe that one of the reasons people lose their peace and fail to have the things they want is because they get their priorities out of line. There are so many choices to which people can give their time and attention. Without clear priorities, people can become paralyzed with indecision; I call this paralysis of analysis.
Some of the choices we have are bad options and are easy to recognize as something to avoid, but many of our options are good. Yet even good things can get our priorities all messed up. What is a top priority for somebody else could be a problem for us. So we have to be careful that we don’t just do what everybody else is doing. We need to do what God is leading us individually to do.
When setting our priorities, it’s important to understand that Jesus is the holding power of all that is good in our lives. Colossians 1:17 says, “And He Himself existed before all things, and in Him all things consist (cohere, are held together).” That is why He should always be our first priority. Jesus holds everything together.
A couple can’t have a good marriage if Jesus isn’t holding it together. In fact, people won’t have good personal relationships with anybody if Jesus is not leading and influencing individuals to love each other. Finances are a mess without Jesus. Our thoughts are clouded and confused without Jesus. Our emotions are out of control without Him.
Colossians 1:18 continues: “He also is the Head of [His] body, the church; seeing He is the Beginning, the Firstborn from among the dead, so that He alone in everything and in every respect might occupy the chief place [stand first and be preeminent]” (italics mine). Jesus is the head of the church body; therefore, He alone, in every respect, should occupy the chief place, stand first and be preeminent, in each of our lives.
That means if Jesus is not first place in our lives, then we need to rearrange our priorities. Matthew 6:33 says that if we seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness, that all other things will be added to our lives. The Amplified Bible translation of this verse says we are to “seek His way of doing and being right.”
Seeking the kingdom means finding out how God wants things done. Finding out how He wants us to treat people. Finding out how He wants us to act in situations and circumstances. Finding out what He wants us to do with our money. Finding out what kind of an attitude we should have. Even finding out what kind of entertainment Jesus approves of for us.
Our lives will not be blessed if we keep God in a little Sunday-morning box and let Him have our priority attention for only forty-five minutes, once a week during a church service. As long as we are here in this world, we will have to resist becoming like the world—and it is a daily b
attle. The church is full of worldly, carnal, fleshly believers, and that is why we are not affecting the world the way we should be.
If Christians were putting Jesus first in everything, then the world would be in a better condition. There are, of course, sincere, God-fearing, dedicated believers in every church and in society, but not nearly as many as there should be. Each of us should remember the importance of walking in the Spirit, not in the flesh. The world is watching us, we are Christ’s representatives; God is making His appeal to the world through us (see 2 Corinthians 5:20).
ESTABLISH GRACE AS YOUR PRIORITY
Our first priority of life should not be to earn a living or get an education. In fact, First Corinthians 8:1 says that “knowledge causes people to be puffed up,” but love “edifies.” This tells us that focusing on our love-walk is a more important priority than learning a career skill. (I am not saying that God is against higher education, but wouldn’t it be an awesome world if everyone were required to spend four concentrated years of education to learn how to walk in love?)
Often we don’t think about what our priorities are, but we still have them. Our priorities are whatever is first in our thoughts and in how we plan our time. Having real peace in our lives requires making God first above all other things that demand our attention.
If you put God first in your finances, first in your time, first in your conversation, first in your thoughts, first in your decisions, your life will be a success. I am living evidence of this truth. Before I learned to put God first, I was living in the worst messes that anybody could have. I had a bad attitude and couldn’t think two positive thoughts in a row. I didn’t like anybody, and nobody liked me. The abuse in my childhood had left me full of bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness.