Read Indésirable Page 2

doesn’t look crooked to you?”

  His fingers clasped my chin. My face warmed in embarrassment as he turned my face slightly to the left then to the right. He wore a quizzical gaze staring at my features.

  “Ah, I see.”

  “What do you see?”

  “Your nose, it’s just not crooked at all. You may have to purchase a new one,” he smiled at me, a smile that I couldn’t help but return.

  “Do you live here?” I asked.

  “Some times I live everywhere.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I have spent my life travelling to places all over the world.”

  “But you’re no more than sixteen!” I say turning to face him.

  “That is the glory of it, time has blessed me. I want to spend my life travelling the wonders of the world. I have been to England, seen the soldiers. Or the far sides of Europe where Viking men and women pillage villages for treasure.”

  “Women?”

  “Of course!” He stood snatching a stick from the banks. He waves the stick around as a sword pointing it in my direction. “Fierce women warriors that pillage villages beside their husbands.”

  “Tell me more,” I say excitement causing me to stand as well.

  “I have travelled across the sea to the far corners of the earth where buildings are shaped like triangles called pyramids,” he draws the shape on the dirt of the bank with his swordstick. “I have seen war, death.”

  “You’ve seen death?”

  He nodded gravely, “The dead are cold and unmoving their bodies grow rigid and their eyes yellow and gloss over like the moon.”

  I frown at this thought. The image of my beautiful mother decaying causes me to sit back on the stone.

  “I’ve upset you,” he says crouching in front of me.

  “No, you’ve not upset me.”

  “Well surely I have, your face has turned so grim.”

  “I was thinking of my mother, she died.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that Nicole, were you close?”

  I shook my head, “no, I never knew her. I killed her.”

  Samuel stares deeply into my eyes before continuing.

  “How could you kill someone you never knew?”

  “It was a complicated birth from what I’ve been told.”

  “NICOLE!” Thomas called from the Saloon. His words slurred slightly. I stood quickly waving at him.

  “I must go,” I turn to leave then pause only to turn back. “Will you be here next Thursday?”

  “Would you like me to be here?”

  I nodded shyly.

  “Then I will be here.”

  The entire ride home Thomas complained about the unfair game and his loss of funds. He was very angry, but he often angered quickly. He didn’t ask about the boy. We returned home. I found Denise brushing her hair in our room. She was singing as she usually does. She eyed me curiously as I entered to sit next to her by the mirror.

  “I met a very handsome man today. He comes from a wealthy family in a good home not too far from here. He took me on the most romantic walk through the market.”

  I picked up my brush and began to brush my hair just as she was. She paused in her story to watch me.

  “What’s wrong with you?”

  I put down the brush suddenly embarrassed.

  “My nose isn’t crooked!” I told her, turning on my heel I climbed into my bed and grinned into my pillow. That was the first time I ever said anything remotely similar to ‘you are wrong.’

  Thursday is my favorite day of the week. I could hardly wait to see Samuel. Tonight he told stories of Geishas in Asia. They were women who spent their lives learning art and music. They would paint their faces competing against one another to dance and perform for men. They charged men for their virginity and for comfort.

  “Like prostitutes?” I ask.

  He twirls a leaf in his fingers and laughs. A soft laugh that makes me grin.

  “Like courtesans, independent well educated women. They are skilled in many ways. They have many lovers of high ranks and make quite a bit of money selling their company.”

  “Have you bought the company of a courtesan?” I ask. Blood rushes to my face as the words leave my lips. His lips curve in a sly grin.

  “Perhaps,” he says. I feel a rush deep into my chest, a feeling I had not felt before. “Does that displease you?”

  “Why would it displease me?” I say rising to my feet in hopes he couldn’t see the redness in my cheeks. It was no stranger to me what prostitutes did. I knew the action; Denise often spoke of it with her friends. Had he been with a woman? Or many women? “These women know how to read?” I ask changing the subject.

  “Many of them can read and write. Do you?”

  “My reading is very minimum, Denise didn’t enjoy teaching me and Father saw no use for it.”

  The wind stirred the leaves in the trees. Loose strands of hair flew about my face. Samuel reaches over to tuck them behind my ear.

  “I could teach you to read and write if you would like?”

  I nodded, “Yes please.”

  Reading had always been difficult for me, but Samuel read the words do fluidly as if they flew off the page and into his head. He would read walking around and acting out the scenes. He pointed out words and brought parchment to teach me lettering.

  By the fall Denise was engaged to her prince charming from a wealthy family. My writing was sloppy but legible and I could understand most of the words from Marco Polo. The air was crisp and growing colder. We sat together by the water. I wore a heavy over coat over my dress and stockings. Samuel wore a light jacket and a kind smile as he read aloud from another book. I shivered against the frigid wind.

  “Would you like my coat?” He offered.

  “And allow you to freeze to death? I think not.”

  He chuckled, “It doesn’t bother me so, but if you refuse to take my coat, will you at least move closer to share heat?”

  I did as told. My heart raced sitting this close to him. Could he hear how hard it pounded? He was mid sentence when I interrupted him.

  “Why are you not married?”

  His mouth gaped for a moment and he grinned coyly, “Who says I am not married?”

  The sinking feeling returned, my gaze lowered, “What is her name?”

  His fingers touched my chin once more.

  “I never said I was married either, that is a curious question to ask.”

  “Well, you’re a well travelled educated man with a nice face.”

  “You think my face is nice?”

  My face reddens again and I turn away from him.

  “It is a nice face for a gentlemen.”

  “I do not have a wife.”

  “Are you playing with my emotions sir, that is very cruel!” I smack his arm. He laughs.

  “Perhaps I wanted to view the expression on your face at my response.”

  “It was a valid question sir! You are in face old enough for a wife.”

  “And are you old enough for a husband?”

  My mouth gaped like a fish, “well- I uh, I never thought about it.” This was a lie. I had dreamed of travelling the world with Samuel. I dreamed of seeing his blue eyes against the sky, or how his pale skin looks in the sunlight.

  “You are soon to be a young woman, and you’ve not imagined a husband?”

  “How could I imagine a husband when my head is full of adventures!”

  “Perhaps I should fill your head less then?”

  I turned suddenly grabbing his hands, “You wouldn’t dare!”

  He glanced down at our hands before clasping my cold ones in his.

  “And what if I did?”

  “My life would surely end sir.”

  He smiled at me, “Well that would truly be a crime.”

  Denise was to be married in the springtime; her wedding plans filled the house with joy. Father seemed to smile more. When December c
ame I woke up a woman. I had never seen so much blood in my life. Denise laughed at my fearful expression.

  “Well, well, guess its time to find you a husband!”

  “Please, please do not tell father!” I begged her.

  “He’s going to know when he see’s those sheets.”

  I hurriedly pulled the sheets from my bed.

  “I’ll wash them!”

  “Oh don’t be a child Nicole, you’re twelve now. Its time to be a woman,” she pat my head leaving me with an arm full of bloody sheets and a sinking feeling in my chest.

  I sat by the Canal, the cold winter air seeping through my clothes and chilling me to the very core. I could see my own breath. Would Samuel be able to tell? What did it mean that I was a woman now? I would be thrown at men for money. Father would sell me off the second he knew. But what if Samuel did know? What if he felt exactly the same and did want me there with him along the adventures. Something soft brushed my face. Samuel stood there with a rose extended toward me. The red petals brushed my cheek. I stood a mixture of emotions.

  “For you,” he said.

  “You’ve brought me a rose?”

  “For your birthday, I’m sorry we couldn’t meet on the day.”

  “You remembered my birthday?” I said smiling, “but I don’t even know yours!”

  “There’s something different about you,” he said softly, he circled me.

  “There is nothing different. I am the same as I was last week!”

  He took my frozen fingers and spun me; the trim of my dress fanned out as he turned me out then quickly then gasped.

  “What is it?” I said twirling about alarmed.

  “I must say miss Nicole, twelve looks ravishing on you.”

  I giggled like a child. My fingers brushed the stem of the rose. I inhaled the scent of the petals.

  “Hold that pose for just a moment,” Samuel said sweetly. He observed me by the water. “I want to remember this happy moment, because I