Coward. Look me in the eye and talk to me like a man.
Chelsea fidgeted in her chair, clearly ill at ease with how the conversation was going. Her fork stopped in mid-air and her brows furrowed.
“Well…see, it’s not like that,” she started. “Writing is more like my hobby, right now anyway.”
I took another sip of wine and reconsidered what I wanted to do with lover boy, Zach. I didn’t like his insinuations, but I needed to back off and give Chelsea a break. I could see that it was getting awkward for her, and her happiness was more important than what I wanted. What I really wanted to do was bitch slap the cock sucker every time he eye-fucked her, which was about every two seconds. But instead of causing a scene, I took the high ground.
“No, he’s right,” I said, nodding. “And it’s easy to fix. We can choose specific times to work on the film, and ask Jamison to make sure the schedule works. There’s no reason for it to be complicated.”
Chelsea’s eyes crashed into mine and I swallowed hard. I wished her brother would disappear. There were other complications, other things I wanted to talk about with Chelsea. Things I wanted to say to her that I should’ve said before, but at least I was offering a start to make things right.
“So I suppose you won’t have any time to show me around?” Zach asked, pulling her gaze back to him.
“I…I wouldn’t know what to show you anyway,” she said, “I’ve only been through The Hague once on my way here and once when I...”
She fumbled with her fork and ended up grabbing her glass of wine and taking a large gulp. I cringed. She’d almost said when I went to jail. I certainly didn’t want Zach to know about that.
I smiled and tried to brush it off, but Zach noticed the chasm in the conversation and squeezed her hand.
“I don’t care, I came here to see you. I wouldn’t care if all I saw was the kitchen, and your room.”
My stomach clenched at the thought of him in her room. The room where the two of us had...
“Hell, I’ll even dust something if you want me to,” he said.
I watched the change come over her again, as if the sun burst through high cloud cover. She relaxed, her shoulders straightening, her braid swinging as her conversation became animated. Her delicate hands took flight, punctuating her laughter with graceful dives and swooping over to Zach’s open hand on the table.
She turned to him, laughing, and I felt her shoulder cut me from the conversation. The bleeding ebb of feelings dropped my heart to the ground. If this was how I felt now, how would I feel when the summer was over?
My eyes traveled over the wide expanse of manicured lawn as I faded from their conversation. I’d come to the house in Holland especially for of its beauty and silence. It gave me room to work, and quiet to think. Except being here without Chelsea...the fast approaching autumn was going to hurt like hell.
Soon, she’d head back to the uproar of college life, the busy pace of a regular job, and college courses. And where would that leave me? Standing back here with my heart in my hand. The best I could do for her was to make sure she got the paycheck she needed.
I picked at the corner of the expensive cloth napkin and said, “You have paid time off, if you want to take it.”
Chelsea’s shoulders shook with laughter as she turned back to me. “Paid time off?”
“Yes, Jamison will tell you it’s our standard practice,” I said, tossing my napkin over my unfinished plate. “You earn two days off per month. You should take them now and go enjoy The Hague.”
“I rented a car,” Zach said, as he beamed at her.
“I’m here to work, Zach,” she said, holding a palm up. “Remember? This isn’t a sight-seeing trip, I’m here to earn the deposit for Karl’s program.”
If I thought she wouldn’t go because of our dinners in the kitchen, our run-ins by the pool, I was wrong. All morning I assumed she’d be in my bed that night, but the thought was gone now. I wondered if it’d even entered her mind at all.
Zach was here now, reminding her of why she'd taken the job in the first place. He'd brought her back to herself, and I’d be a selfish son of a bitch to stand in her way. The Chelsea I saw now was luminous, confident and driven. Fuck. It wasn’t me who brought any of that out in her. I hardly recognized the vivacious woman at this table in front of me, but she was a better version of the one I'd know.
I had to do it. I had to let her go.
“Don’t worry about the money, Chelsea. I’m serious about the paid time off. You have it, and you should use it. Take Zach and go enjoy yourself,” I said.
She didn’t ask about what I’d do. She didn’t protest and ask about the film. Instead, she clasped her hands together and smiled. “Thank you, Alex!”
My heart dropped. The blue eyes I wanted as my own didn’t even look my way as she turned to Zach. He grabbed her hand and squeezed. She may as well have taken that delicate hand and shoved the table knife right into my heart. Okay, there were only butter knives on the table today, but still, it hurt. More than I wanted it to.
“First, let’s check with Jamison. He’ll have tons of great suggestions for places to go,” she said, jumping up and pulling Zach to his feet. “We can talk while we clean off the table.”
“No, just go,” I said, “It’s officially your day off, staring right now.”
“Paid day off,” Zach reminded me, like I’d be such a jackass that I’d forget and stiff her for it.
Chelsea thanked me again and headed toward the house without a backward look. I tossed back the rest of my wine and started to call for Jamison to bring something stronger. Then I remembered that Zach and Chelsea were talking to him, and I didn't want to be a total dick.
Zach’s surprise visit had revealed the real Chelsea, and she was spectacular, even more beautiful and amazing than I’d known. Fucking, Zach. Why’d he have to come and piss on my bonfire? Clearly, this had been a rude awakening of the worst kind that showed me where I stood.
Alone with the checkbook.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Alex
The best way to get Chelsea off my mind was to work. Or at least that’s what I thought would help, but the mind had a way of fucking with you when you were down. It dredges up all the thoughts you want to avoid and won't let them go. In this case, it was Chelsea’s beautiful face and her light-hearted laughter. It echoed in my mind as I headed to my office, and the images only stopped when I heard voices on the front steps.
“Nice to meet you, Carrie and Emily.”
I snarled as I recognized Zach’s voice. He hadn’t left yet, but I was relieved Carrie was here because I needed someone to talk to. I stepped back from the narrow glass that flanked the front door, hoping my visitors hadn’t spotted me. I needed a moment to compose myself. I definitely didn't want Zach to know he'd gotten to me.
I took another peek and saw my niece bound up the steps in answer to her name. She stopped in front of Zach and said, “You’re too tall. Do you fall over a lot?”
“Actually, no, I surf a lot, skateboard too, so I have good balance,” Zach said with a charming grin.
“He used to be really klutzy when he was little,” Chelsea said.
“Childhood sweethearts?” Carrie asked lightly.
I smiled behind the door as my sister-in-law tipped her naturally platinum blonde head and waited for a reply.
“No, no, no, this is Zach,” I heard Chelsea say. “We grew up together, fostered, and then adopted in the same family. He’s my brother.”
“Foster brother, not blood,” Zach made sure to clarify.
“Nice to meet you, Zach. How long are in you in Holland?”
“Not long,” he said. “Just making sure Chelsea is doing alright.”
“I’m sure you’ve discovered Alex is more a team leader than an employer,” Carrie said. “Everyone’s on equal footing in his house. I know he never thinks of Chelsea as a maid.”
Thank you, Carrie. Finally, someone was rooting for me. No
w I'd gone from waiting to calm down to being too curious to interrupt. I couldn’t see exactly what they were doing out there, so I leaned close to the door, but it was too close and Emily caught me peeking. She gave me an impish grin.
“Chelsea is a princess. Like Cinderella. She lives in the attic room, right?”
Chelsea’s cheeks turned rosy. “I do live in the attic of the servants’ cottage.”
“I used to play there. I was Cinderella, but I guess you can be her now,” Emily said.
“Does that make me Prince Charming?” Zach asked.
“Wrong fairy tale,” Emily said and turned to see if I was still watching.
Chelsea’s eyes followed her gaze, and I was busted. I had to join them on the front steps or admit to eavesdropping by skulking away. I straightened up and walked through the door.
“Carrie! Emily! Always the best surprise. Do you want lunch? These two ran off before finishing so I have plenty,” I said.
As soon as Carrie’s eyes met mine, Chelsea’s shied away. She must’ve seen me spying too. I was relieved when Emily lunged at me for a hug to cover my embarrassment. She threw her arms around my neck, and I pulled her up into a bear hug. She always made me feel better, no matter what happened. Chelsea smiled at us even though Zach tapped her arm and took another step toward his rented car, trying to coax her away.
“Can Chelsea stay and play?” Emily asked.
“No, sweetheart, she has the day off and she’s taking Zach to do some sightseeing,” I said. And I’m okay with that. Not. Go fuck yourself Zach. “Have a nice time,” I called out as they headed to the rental car.
“Maybe next time,” Chelsea said, and then waved as she ran down the steps to join Zach.
Carrie smiled at her retreating back. “Next time we can all spend the day together and really get to know her.”
I swung Emily into the foyer and said, “Good luck with that. She’s been living her for months and I don’t even know much about her.”
Carrie followed us inside and tossed her purse on a side table. “I find that hard to believe.” She gave me a sideways look. “What exactly have you been doing?”
I put Emily down and let her run ahead to the garden terrace. Jamison was in the kitchen, already putting together fresh lunch plates for us. Carrie blew him a kiss before she followed me down the hallway and caught my arm.
“Emily can’t hear and Jamison’s busy. Just tell me,” Carrie said, tugging on my arm. She had that tone in her voice like women get when they want to hear relationship gossip.
“Tell you what? That I slept with her, but I still don’t know anything about her?”
“Is that what’s bothering you?” She raised her brows, a knowing smirk on her face. “Or could it be a strapping young lad named, Zach?”
I grabbed the doorframe to keep from punching a wall. “You think this is funny? He’s probably filling her head with ideas of the evil employer taking advantage of his innocent maid.”
Even I could hear the bitterness in my words.
“Come on, Alex. Lighten up. Chelsea knows it’s not like that.” She tilted her head. “Doesn’t she?”
“I think so…I thought so.” I exhaled a long breath and shook my head. “I don’t know. Maybe I have it backwards, and I’m the one being taken advantage of here. Zach’s reminded her of why she took the job. I’m just a fringe benefit.”
Carrie gave me a sympathetic frown. “Poor baby.”
Emily ran up to meet us at the door and tugged on my hand. “Come on. Let’s go to the garden.”
Carrie followed as Emily towed me out into the sunshine, where I offered Carrie a chair. Happy that we were outside to watch her, Emily ran off to explore the garden, and I took the chair next to Carrie.
I could understand Chelsea’s motivation a bit better now. Karl was her brother and she had to take care of him. I mean, I got that. My brother had depended on me when he'd been in the dark pit of his addiction. It was a bitch to carry that heavy weight, but I didn’t mind, he was my brother. It was kind of the same for Chelsea. She felt that weight, too. It’s what balanced her and what drove her. How could I be jealous of that?
“So, tell me about Chelsea,” Carrie said, relaxing back into her chair.
I took a deep breath and tried to explain. “I hired her to make Henry mad.”
“Oh, I know. Your father told me all about it.”
“Well, the joke’s on me, because instead of some easy-to-dismiss bimbo looking for a summer of fun, I got Chelsea.” I leaned forward and put my head in my hands. “And she’s different, Carrie. She took the job because she needs the money to help her brother, her real brother, not that surfer dude brother.”
“And you can’t dismiss her?” Carrie asked.
“Dismiss her? I can’t get her out of my head,” I said.
“She’s definitely not like the women you’ve dated before,” she said. “Lord knows, you’ve paraded a few of those around like show ponies.”
“Exactly,” I flung myself back in my chair. Show ponies? Really? Was I that bad? “I’ve never been this…I don’t know how to explain it…this magnetized by a woman before.” I threw my hands up in the air.
“So what’s wrong with that? I have news for you, Sherlock, that’s usually a good thing.” Carrie leaned forward. “She’s obviously attracted to you. I mean, you said the two of you slept together, right?”
“Yeah, and then it was awkward because she’s working for me,” I said, running my hand over my face.. “I didn’t want her to think I thought of her like one of those girls from the website, so I gave her a choice. I told her she could quit the job and stay here as my guest. Then we could really see what was going on between us. She chose the job over me.”
“Well, that was unfair of you.” Carrie chuckled at my idiocy.
I glared at her. “For being family, you’re being awfully hard on me. Where’s the love? Anyway, at the time, I thought it was a good idea, but now...” I shook my head and blew out a breath. “I just wanted her to know she was more than a fling, that I was more than some creep who slept with the help. I wanted us to give it a real shot. I haven’t wanted something like that in years.”
“I know,” Carrie said, reaching out to catch my hand and squeeze it. “But you said it yourself. She took the job because she needed the money to help her brother. That didn’t change when you two got involved. How could you, of all people, expect her to choose a new relationship that might not be anything, over a brother who clearly needs her?”
I shook free of her hand and raked both hands through my hair. “You’re right. I know that now.”
“Hindsight is twenty-twenty. So why the long face?” Carrie asked.
“You mean besides stalker foster brother Zach with his surfer dude hair? Seriously? Do women really fall for that look?” I frowned. “And I don’t buy his, ‘I just traveled thousands of miles to drop in and check on you’ explanation.”
Carrie laughed. “He’s quite attractive, but don’t get your tail in a knot. Chelsea doesn’t think of him in that way at all.”
“See, even you noticed it too. What’s really up with him? He shouldn’t be eyeing his sister, even if they’re ‘foster.’ He’s in some serious denial there for sure. I get the feeling he’s here to save her from the sleazy rich playboy who doesn’t deserve her,” I said.
“I really don’t think you have to worry about Zach and you know it. So, what’s really bothering you?”
“I’m screwing it up, Carrie,” I confessed. “I don’t know how to get close to her. Every time we talk, it’s about my movie or work or something else.”
“And you want to get closer.” It wasn't a question.
“It feels more like I have to.”
“Oh, Alex, that’s wonderful! Sounds like you’re in love.” Carrie beamed at me.
“Is that what this torturous feeling is all about?”
Carrie rocked back in her chair laughing at my misery.
I glowered at he
r. “You women always know this stuff better than guys, but what if Chelsea doesn’t feel the same way?” Then I’m screwed.
Jamison joined us with our salads. He swallowed a chuckle and had to clear his throat. He set down the lunch tray and winked at Carrie. “Should I open a bottle of wine, or perhaps something stronger?”
“What do you think he needs, Jamison?” Carrie asked.
Jamison looked down at me and tapped a finger against his chin. “I don’t know what he needs, but I keep telling him what he doesn’t need is a maid. I can run the house just fine on my own.”
“But what about the money?” I argued. “You know she needs it.”
“You mean you’re finally asking me my advice?” Jamison asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
Carrie laughed and cocked an eyebrow at me.
“I know, I know, I should’ve mentioned all of this sooner. Now that I’ve completely screwed everything up, just tell me what to do,” I said impatiently.
Jamison took his time smoothing down his crisp shirt before he said, “I do have quite a lot of contacts in the area. There’re a few households looking for help as they close up for the season.”
“There,” Carrie said, “problem solved. Chelsea finds another job for the rest of the summer, and during her time off you can work on your relationship with her.”
“Are you in love with Chelsea?” Emily asked, bouncing into her chair. “I told you she’s a princess.”
“Like Cinderella?” I asked.
“Yup,” my niece said. “You should tell her you love her at the ball.”
From a child’s perspective, life was so simple. If only it were that easy for adults.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chelsea
Why had I brought Zach to see The Hague? It was entirely too romantic. I'd hoped the sightseeing would keep the appropriate distance between us, but my plan backfired. The baroque architecture, the wide tree-lined avenues, and the sidewalk cafes only encouraged Zach to take my hand as we strolled. Even after I shook my fingers free and pointed out the old palace, minutes later, he clasped my hand again.