Chapter 1
Who is This Girl?
Exhausted! That was the only word that came to my mind after working an eighteen-hour shift. I was sure it was illegal for anyone to work so much but in these life and death situations I suppose I had no choice. This was the life I had chosen as a heart surgeon. Though, I probably would have been better off working at a different hospital. The Chief purposely worked me harder to prove to others that he was not showing any favoritism to his nephew.
Hungry. That was another word that never left my mind when working so much. My stomach grumbled from a lack of food as I’ve had one meal all day and it was almost midnight. What were my options? Drive home and stop by a fast food joint on the way? If I hit the freeway now, I should be able to reach my house in the Valley in twenty minutes. Or, go to Mom’s down the street and hope that she had food in the fridge? I decided to forgo both options and stop by the market to pick up a protein shake before heading home.
Walking in the store, the most beautiful woman walked by and I couldn’t help but follow her from afar. She turned into one of the aisles and started looking for cereal. I paused to stare. She was gazing intently at the boxes in a peculiar way. It was comical how serious this decision was for her. Her long brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail and her porcelain skin would put dermatologists all out of business.
There was something about the way she looked – innocent, angelic, scared? – She intrigued me. I decided to stand next to her pretending to buy cereal as well. She had no clue anyone was watching her even though I stood two feet away. Closer up, she was even more stunning.
What was wrong with me? I was staring at a stranger in the market at midnight. As drawn as I was to her I decided to go get my protein shake and come back later. It would give me some time to muster up the courage to ask for her number. It had been a few months since I’d been on a date. It’d be nice to meet someone new.
Walking past her, I noticed she had precariously stepped on the bottom shelf to reach for the Captain Crunch box located on the top shelf. I thought about getting it for her when she suddenly fell and knocked us down to the ground. She was embarrassed. I was grateful for the opportunity.
“I’m so sorry!” Her voice sounded almost as sweet as her face. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine. Are you okay?” Hopefully she had broken something so I could take her to the hospital.
“I think I’m okay. My ankle feels a little weird but I’m sure it’s nothing.”
Yes! Here was my chance. I would force her to go with me to the hospital regardless of how minor the injury might be.
“Do you want to try and get up?” I asked while holding her hand and helping her to her feet. Giddy, I felt like a boy holding a girl’s hand for the first time. Her fingers were soft.
“Ouch!” She almost fell back to the floor and I couldn’t believe my luck tonight. “I guess it hurts a bit more than I thought it might. It’s okay. I’ll be alright.” She pulled her fingers away while finishing her sentence and tried to walk down the aisle. I didn’t know where she thought she was going without me.
“Wait. Let me help you.” In two steps I reached her five hobbling steps. “Let me take you to my hospital just down the street and let’s x-ray your ankle.”
“No, that’s so not necessary. I’ll just go home and rest it. I knew I shouldn’t have been out here this late.” It was cute the way she was scolding herself. She was right, though. What was she thinking coming out here at this hour?
“Please, let me help you. By the way, my name is Jake, Jake Reid.”
“Hi, I’m Emily Logan.” Her lips curled up into the most beguiling smile, sucking me into her world. Where had this girl been all my life? Being a cardiac surgeon I knew a thing or two about hearts but I couldn’t explain what was going on in my own. My pulse beat faster, my blood rushed, and my excitement level shot through the roof. We’d barely spoken and I felt like this was the girl of my dreams – the one I would love the rest of my life. Perhaps I’d lost my mind.
Ignoring her scared look, I forced her to General Hospital and wheeled her into the ER.
“Will you be okay waiting for me here while I get some paperwork filled out?”
She nodded yes like a young school girl. Oddly I sensed through her wide brown eyes that she trusted me to take care of her. My entire being felt this wonderful burden – a loving responsibility – to make sure that this Emily Logan would be okay. I had never felt such a strong desire to take care of someone like I did right now for his girl.
Practically waltzing into the front office, I had to figure out a plan to ask this girl to go out with me.
“Dr. Reid, what are you doing back? Aren’t you done for the night?” Linda the head nurse asked.
“Yeah. I came back in with a patient. She might have sprained her ankle.”
I saw all the residents heading my way.
“Who’s that hottie you just walked in with?” asked one of the residents.
“Who she is does not concern you. If any of you as much as talk to her, I will make sure you’re doing midnight shifts in ER the rest of your stay here at our hospital.”
“Oooh! You’re so scary, Dr. Reid.” Jeffery, our youngest intern at age twenty, attempted a joke. I gave him a be scared of me look and he backed off.
“I’m going to go back out and stay with her. Take your time calling her in. Treat her like any other patient who comes into this ER. I don’t want to be out of here any time soon.” I gave them all my most serious doctor look. I didn’t think any of them bought it. Laughter erupted behind me and I followed suit.
“What’s so funny?” she asked with curious enthusiasm.
“Um… those residents were harassing me.” I smiled at my inside joke. Placing myself as close to Emily as possible, I gingerly elevated her legs and hoped for hours of uninterrupted conversation.
“Do you work here?” Her trusting eyes made me want to tell her my whole life story. “Are you a doctor or a nurse?”
I guess I had forgotten to explain to her who I was. “I’m a doctor here. I work up in the cardiac department.”
“Are you working right now? If you’re busy, I can stay here by myself. Please don’t let me keep you from your job.”
I thought to myself, are you kidding me? You would need a crowbar to pry me away from you right now.
“No, I just got off at midnight and I was at the market hoping to pick up a bite to eat when you fell.”
“I’m so embarrassed. I can’t believe I did that. I’m very sorry.” I took a snapshot of her beautiful smile and saved it in my memory. “I feel bad you haven’t had dinner yet. You must be starving. Please go and get something to eat.”
“I’m alright. I’m sure we won’t be here long. I told the ER doctors to take good care of you.”
“That was really kind of you. I would feel much better if you went and ate something, though.”
“Would you like to grab a bite to eat with me, later?”
“Um…” I heard the hesitation I feared. Before she could answer, those pesky residents called Emily’s name already. We had been there less than ten minutes. This had to have been an ER record.
I wheeled Emily into the ER and saw a guffaw in each one of their eyes. There were two residents, one intern and one nurse waiting to attend to Emily and waiting to see my reaction. The staff was having a good time at my expense.
“Ms. Logan? How does this feel?” Michael began feeling her ankle.
“It doesn’t really hurt there… Ow!... That’s where it hurts.” Tears dotted her eyes as Michael poked into a tender spot. She looked child-like when she hurt. Instinctively my arms went around her shoulders and gave her a light squeeze.
She looked up at me surprised and I retracted my arms. I could see the staff wanting to howl at my faux pas.
“So, Ms. Logan? How old are you?” Jeffery the intern asked.
“Twenty-four.”
“I’m twenty!” I don’
t know why he sounded so excited revealing his age to Emily.
“Aren’t you a bit young to be a doctor?” Emily asked in amazement. Her interest spurred him to continue.
“I’m what you call a genius. I graduated from medical school last year and this is my first year in residency.” He had a smug look on his face. I tried to give Jeffery a back off look but he purposely avoided my eyes. “Ms. Logan, do you want to go out on a date with me?”
Emily and I both looked at him shocked! I vowed to make Jeffery’s life miserable when he got to my department. The other two residents had made a wise choice not to say anything.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to go out.” Thank God she was turning him down.
“Why not?” he persisted.
“You’re really cute but I don’t think it will be possible with our age difference and all.”
“We’re only four years apart.”
“Well you’re too young to even go and have a glass of wine with me. Plus, my ego couldn’t take people carding me all the time while you got a pass for the next decade.”
We all roared in laughter. She had a good sense of humor. I liked that.
“What about me, Ms. Logan? Would you be willing to go on a date with me? I’m off in thirty minutes and we can go grab a burger and a beer.”
“Wow… tempting but I don’t drink beer. Sorry!” She gave him an apologetic puppy dog look. Enamored with her, I couldn’t even get mad at Al for trying.
All of us stared at Michael to see if he would try.
“I guess I have to throw my name in the hat as well even though I have a girlfriend,” Michael decided.
“Ms. Logan, I’d be honored if you’d like to go out on a date with me.” That two timing jerk!
“Sorry, I definitely don’t date two timers.”
“Yes!” I thought. That’s exactly what I was thinking.
“Thank you all for your kind offers. I haven’t had a date in almost a year and a half. Go figure, I should have hung out in the ER more often.” She shrugged her shoulders and her eyebrows arched up. “But, if you don’t mind, I think I need my ankle examined more than I need a date right now.”
Fed up and shaking her head, Linda came over and offered to put her in a private room while waiting for the attending doctor to come and take care of her ankle. I was grateful for her help.
“My apologies for those silly doctors. They’re here late all the time and they try to find humor in every situation,” she explained.
“No apologies necessary. It was all in fun. I’m flattered more than anything.” She was as gracious as she was beautiful. Emily Logan… truly, where have you been all my life?
Linda put us in a nice room and her eyes signaled a good luck sign. I mouthed a thank you. Emily comfortably rested in the hospital bed and I sat in the recliner next to her.
“So sorry about all those guys…”
She cracked up. “I hope I didn’t sound too mean to any of them. You have a bunch of cute young doctors here in the ER. Are all the other departments this fun and lively?”
“No, the rest of us are old and boring.”
We laughed together this time.
“So…” I asked nonchalantly, “you really haven’t had a date in a year and a half?”
“Uh-huh.”
“It’s hard for me to believe no man has asked you out. Have you been hiding under a rock all this time?”
She stared at me probably wondering why I cared. “Well, I’ve been asked out but I haven’t gone out with anyone.”
“May I ask why?” I asked cautiously again. I didn’t want to appear too nosy.
“Um… I’m a one man kind of girl and I haven’t found the guy I want to date. Dating around is not my thing.” She hesitated then explained a lot more about herself than I expected to hear. “I was in a serious relationship for four years – all throughout undergrad – and my boyfriend dumped me on the day of our graduation.”
I felt bad for her and angry towards this guy as tears flickered in her eyes again. Whoever he was, she must have loved him deeply if she was still hurting.
“Is he why you haven’t dated in so long?”
“Um… I don’t know if I’d say it was because of Max. It’s really more because I haven’t met anyone I’d like to get to know. Sorry. You look so tired. Details of my life must be boring you to death.” Her eyes perked up again and tried to make humor out of her sadness.
She hadn’t responded to my dinner request and I was just about to repeat myself when Linda came back in the room.
“Ms. Logan, I’m sorry but the attending doctor got called away. You’ll be in here a bit longer.”
“Okay, thank you.”
“Jake?” Her voice sounded like it was dipped in sugar.
“Yes?”
“Do I really need to stay here? I feel horrible you’ve been here so long with me and I’m really tired.”
“You should be examined by a doctor.” I wasn’t ready to let go of her.
“Aren’t you a doctor? Do you not know about ankles? Is that too far down south from the heart?” With almost a coquettish grin she was coaxing me and teasing me at the same time.
Chuckling at her humor, I saw the exhaustion in her eyes and had to give in.
“Why didn’t I think of helping you, earlier? Let me take you to x-ray then bandage you up if nothing is wrong.”
“Would you? Thank you.” Her weary eyes filled with relief.
Knowing that this night was coming to an end all too soon, I silently kicked and screamed my protest, while getting someone to x-ray her ankle and confirming my initial theory that nothing was wrong with her. Then I slowly wrapped her ankle with a bandage and hoped she didn’t wonder why I hadn’t done this the moment we walked into the ER. All the residents came by one last time as I wheeled her to my car.
“Bye, Ms. Logan! Let us know if you change your mind.” They all chorused in unison
Emily turned to me as I helped her into the car and shuddered. “That was creepy. Please don’t bring me back here ever again.”
I couldn’t help but laugh one more time. I hadn’t had this much fun in a long while.
“Do you want me to drive you home?”
“No, I need to go pick up my car. I’ll be okay.”
We got to her car and I hated the thought of letting her go. Perhaps it was wishful thinking but as tired as she looked, there seemed to be a part of her that was comfortable with me – that liked being here with me.
“Jake?”
“Yes?” Subtlety not being my forte, I answered her question too quickly.
“Would it be okay if we went to dinner another time? I don’t think I can sit through a meal right now.”
My heart performed a loop de loop in response to what she said.
As casual as I could be, I answered, “Sure.” But of course, much too quickly I added, “How about tomorrow night?”
I saw her hold back a laugh. She leaned over and gave me a light peck on the cheek. Like a school boy kissed for the very first time, her lips sent me over the moon.
“Thank you for all your help tonight.” With that she hobbled out of the car. Frozen from her embrace, I stupidly let her limp to her car. Running towards her, I encircled my arms around her body and carried her off her feet. In turn, her arms folded around my neck and momentarily, I hoped time could stand still. Bodies close, face to face, I struggled to not lock her lips with mine. As I couldn’t help staring, she looked away abashed.
“Were you planning on running away without giving me your phone number?” I slowly let her go when her body pushed away.
“Oh, I guess you need that, huh? I have to warn you… I only have a cell phone and I’m not good about answering it. I respond better to texts.” She proceeded to rummage through her purse and jotted down ten digits onto a piece of paper.
“Good night or morning.” She waved as she closed her car and left the parking lot.
My eyes finally
blinked long after her car drove out of sight.
OLIVIA 2010
“Olivia!” Shocked would be an understatement for what I felt right then watching Jamie approach me. “Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? I mean, it’s great to see you again.” He grabbed me, hugged me, and wouldn’t let go. I felt like I was breathing again for the first time in many years. “God, I’ve missed you,” he breathed, still holding onto me.
It had been a long and hard six years without him. Last we saw each other, he asked me to leave his life once and for all and never to contact him again. I choked at this memory and worked to control thinking about that night. All those times I needed him while raising Ollie. All those days I missed being loved by him. I shook my head and rid myself of these thoughts. After all, I should consider him no different than any other acquaintance—except for the fact that Oliver bound us for life.
My heart pained at his release. “Hello?” Jamie waved his hand over my face. “Are you there?”
“Sorry. I’m surprised to see you again. How are you? What brings you to New York and Central Park of all places?”
“I was going to ask you the same thing. I’ve been so stressed out with work. With it being tax season and all, I’ve been running during my lunch breaks.”
“Are you here on business?”
“No. I live in Manhattan now. I moved a few years ago.”
Here he was, in a neighboring state, and we run into each other at the park of all places with Ollie just a few steps away.
“What are you doing at a kiddie play area and in New York of all places?”
“I live in Jersey. We moved here five years ago.”
Jamie’s face looked like I just solved a riddle for him. “So that’s where you went. I went looking for you at your house after we last spoke and I couldn’t find you. Did you come here to be near your mom?”
“Yes.” My voice struggled to find a monotone. I wanted to hide my true feelings of love, desire and yearning, even now, so many years later. “It was nice seeing you again, Jamie, but I have to go.” I wanted to get away before he saw Ollie. Though I wasn’t as anxious as I thought I would be, I wasn’t ready for him to meet our son.
“Wait!” Do you have a number or an e-mail address? Can I contact you?” There was some desperation in his voice—maybe that was more my wishful thinking.
I probably gave a half smile wondering why he wanted my info. He was happily married with at least a couple of kids by now. His first child would be just a month or two younger than our Ollie. I didn’t need to complicate his life with our presence.
“I don’t think that would be a good idea. I really have to go.” Walking away, my heart broke as he let me get away from him again so easily. Deep down, I wanted him to beg me for a number. It wasn’t right of me to desire a married man. My pace hastened.
“Mommy,” Ollie called me over. “Can you push me on the swing?”
“Sure. Let’s go.”
I picked up our son and plopped him on the swing and pushed him gently.
“Mommy, that’s not high enough!” Ollie yelled. “Higher…Faster!” he yelled even louder.
I did as I was told and my son’s cackles of delight echoed through the park. I kept my head down not looking back at where I was just a minute ago. He had most likely left. There was no need to check. Jamie was not mine anymore. He had made himself clear the last time we spoke.
“I’m hungry. Can we eat, Mommy?”
Slowing down the swing, I picked up Ollie and left the sand area. “What shall we eat?”
“How about pizza?” My four-year-old could eat pizza every day if I let him.
“Again?” I kissed his nose. “All right. Let’s go eat pizza again for the third time this week.”
I looked up from Ollie’s smiling face and nearly had a heart attack when I bumped into Jamie again.
“Hey,” he called hesitantly.
“Hey,” I called back.
“Who’s this?” Jamie asked both of us.
I had no idea how I was going to explain Ollie to his father.
“I’m Oliver and I’m four, almost five. I was thwee a long time ago.” My explanation wasn’t necessary. Our loquacious four-year-old introduced himself to his daddy without missing a beat.
“Hi, Oliver. I’m Jamie. What a great name. My middle name is Oliver.”
Ollie stared at this stranger who should have been his closest friend. “Who’s this, Mommy?”
I saw the surprised look in Jamie’s eyes. I knew what he was thinking.
“Mommy?” Both Hutchison boys asked simultaneously—one out of shock, one out of curiosity.
“He’s an old friend of Mommy’s. I knew him when Dani and I used to live in Los Angeles.”
Ollie leaned over and whispered in my ear. “Could he be my daddy? Is he the one?”
Tears formed unwillingly. Lately, Ollie had been asking more frequently about his father. His father stood just a step away and I couldn’t tell him the truth.
“Olivia, I thought you couldn’t have…Are you married?”
Words halted, his eyes immediately darted to my ring finger. What were the chances that he’d recognize this antique gold band on my ring finger to be the one he gave me? It was scratched up and worn through since I never took it off. Though our relationship broke, the ring stayed on my finger to keep other men from paying any attention to me…or so that was the reason I gave myself and to those around me. Painfully I had to acknowledge now that I wore this ring as a constant reminder of what I once had with Jamie.
“I’m hungry, Mommy.”
“Ok, sweetheart. We’ll go now.” I stepped around Jamie without answering his question. “Good seeing you,” I said walking away.
“Wait, can I join you?”
Before I could answer no, Ollie spoke for me again. “Sure, Mr.…What do I call him, Mommy?”
“My name is Jamie Oliver Hutchison. You can call me Jamie.”
“Hey, that’s my name!” My heart skipped several beats. Ollie knew that his last name was Hutchison but I had told my son many times he could never tell anyone this information. He usually told people his name was Oliver Maize.
“I told you we had the same Oliver name.” Jamie put out his hands ready to shake Ollie’s. Instead, Ollie gave him a high-five. “Where are we going for lunch?”
“We’re having pizza!” Ollie shouted into the air and ran off ahead of us.
“What happened? I mean, how did Oliver happen? Didn’t the doctor tell us you couldn’t have kids? Isn’t that why we had to break up? And when did you get married?” Jamie sounded anxious for an explanation. I wanted to tell him that it wasn’t me who ultimately broke off the relationship. It was him who didn’t want to see me anymore. He chose having kids and living a life with Melinda, his ex-girlfriend, over me.
More than anything I wanted to tell him the truth about Oliver but disrupting his idyllic life would be selfish.
“Ollie’s adopted.” The words just popped out of my mouth. Why had I said this? What a mistake.
“Huh? That doesn’t make sense. Why? How random. Ollie seems wonderful, but you never mentioned wanting to adopt. What happened?” He sounded frustrated now.
“I wasn’t looking for Ollie. He came looking for me. It’s a long story, Jamie. Maybe one day when we’re in a different place I’ll explain it to you.”
Dumbfounded. That’s how Jamie appeared.
“Liv, he looks just like you. And, where did the name Oliver come from?”
I chuckled at the inside joke. Only if you could see that your son is a mirror image of you. From the day he was born, I understood I would never forget your face.
“I guess we’ve lived together long enough to start looking alike,” I answered with a slight laugh. “As for his name…he came with the name.” I was on a roll with these lies.
Jamie looked to be buying every misinformation. We stopped talking as we sat in a booth with pizza in hand.
“Ollie, wh
at’s your favorite food?”
“Pizza.”
“What about your favorite toy?”
“Firetwucks,” he answered with his mouth full.
“Are you in school yet?”
“I’m going to start kindergarten soon, Mommy says. Right, Mommy?”
“Yes, sweetheart,” I answered wiping down his mouth.
“Any favorite places you like to visit?”
“The zoo—that’s my favorite place in the whole wide world. I like sleeping in my mommy’s bed a lot too. That’s my favorite place but I can only do that on special days, Mommy says.”
Jamie and Ollie looked smitten with one another. Blood was thicker than water.
“I used to love the zoo when I was little. That was my favorite place, too. Maybe we can visit the zoo in Central Park? Would you want to do that with me, Ollie?”
Our son looked up at me with expectant eyes. He wanted to go but didn’t know if I’d let him. My silence kept Ollie quiet as well.
“Oliver, if you are almost five, when is your birthday?”
“Tomowow.”
“Tomorrow? Happy birthday. I’ll have to get you a present. What would you like?”
“To see my daddy. Mommy says I’ll see him one day. I hope it’s tomowow.”
Ollie’s request left us both speechless. I pulled our son from his chair and brought him onto my lap.
Hugging him, I reassured, “Ollie, your daddy is missing you too. You will see him soon. If you’re done, let’s say thank you to Mr. Hutchison and go home. It’s time for a nap.”
“Thank you, Mr. Hutchison.” He yawned and was ready for a long nap. I picked him up and carried him out the door.
“Thanks for lunch, Jamie.” Without saying much else, I walked toward the subway. I felt Jamie walk behind us but neither of us uttered a sound. As I shifted Ollie’s drowsy body Jamie came up from behind and carried our child to the subway. Silently we waited for the train to approach.
“Olivia, can we go somewhere and talk? I have so many questions for you. Like…where you’ve been the last six years. Why you’ve never tried to contact me. Did our relationship mean so little to you that you could abandon it after one argument? And, where’s your husband? Did you two separate?”
“You told me never to call you again,” I whispered.
“I was mad,” he answered, frustrated. “You left behind a terse message saying you were giving me time to think through our relationship, before flying off early to Africa. Then you went AWOL on me for two months. Not one e-mail, call, letter—not one word—for two whole months. What did you expect?” Now he was angry.
“I came back and told you why I did that and how sorry I was. You were the one who said you couldn’t forgive me.”
“I’m sorry. I was an idiot. I couldn’t see past the anger for a long time. Once I did, I came back looking for you but I couldn’t find you again.”
“It doesn’t matter now,” I responded with deep sadness. He was married and he thought I was married as well.
“Are you going to disappear again without a trace? Will you at least take my number and call me? I’ve missed you. It’s been so long…too long.” He laid a heavy burden on my heart. I wanted his number, his heart, his commitment to me and Ollie. This could never be.
I took Ollie from his father and stepped into the train.
“Wait!” He held my arm. He slipped his business card into my purse and said, “Please call me. We need to talk.” He sounded desperate now.
“You made yourself clear to me the last time we spoke. I don’t want to be your ‘burden.’ Hope Melinda is well.”
With perfect timing the door shut and I sat with my back against Jamie’s face. I heard the banging on the window but my crying eyes didn’t turn around. Hugging our son tightly to my chest I cried all the way home.
Carrying Ollie from the station to my mom’s house, I was lost in my own thoughts of what had transpired today.
“Olivia!” My mother yelled. “Wait up.” I turned to see her hastily walking toward us. “Have you been walking with Oliver this whole time? Here, give him to me.”
My mom looked up at me in fright. “What happened to you? Why have you been crying?”
“Ollie and I ran into Jamie at the park today. What am I going to do, Mom?” The tears fell even heavier.
December 4, 2012 A Harley Man?
I looked out my window as a loud roar of pipes rolled up the driveway. Max pulled up on a sleek new motorcycle. At least I thought it was new. I hadn’t seen Max in about six months so I couldn’t be sure when he got the bike.
Max was so not the Harley type of guy. He was the straight-laced, straight-A, straight-shooting type. The boy next door, as my sister-in-law, Emily, described him. Those monikers, as well as Max’s ex-girlfriend, and my new sister, Emily, were the reasons why we took a break for a while.
I stared at the good-looking brown-haired, brown-eyed guy. With more ease than I preferred, he gave Emily a hug and a kiss.
“Max! What a wonderful surprise. What are you doing here…and so early in the morning?” Emily greeted.
“Hi, Em. I see motherhood agrees with you. You look beautiful even at this early hour.” Really??? Did he always need to find her so enchanting?
“Hey!” Of course, where Emily was, my brother wasn’t far behind. “Get your hands and lips off my wife!” he demanded.
“Lighten up, Dr. Reid. I was just saying hello to my beautiful ex-girlfriend.”
“Must you always bring up the fact that you and my wife once dated?”
“We didn’t just once date; we were together twice the length of time you and she have been together.”
The irritation in Jake’s eyes was cracking me up. He was so easily riled. Though, the conversation outside was making me feel a little snarky, myself. Relax…My new mantra as we were going to try again. I needed to get over my “hang-ups,” as Max called them.
“Cut it out, both of you,” Emily warned while giving her husband a loving embrace. “Good Morning.” Now she was only addressing Jake. “I brought the kids out so they wouldn’t wake you. You got in so late last night from the hospital.”
“It was lonely in bed without you,” Jake announced loudly, so the whole neighborhood could hear. “I wanted to be out here with my family.” My brother’s voice got louder with each word, but not as loud as his twin son and daughter—Elizabeth and James.
“Da! Da! Da!” The twins screeched. The four of them made a gorgeous family and the smile on Max’s face warmed my heart. For a change, he didn’t look like he was still in love with Emily, but instead, he looked like he was in love with the idea of a happy family.
Time to make my grand entrance!
“Hey,” I greeted.
“Hey…” His voice was soft as he locked eyes with me. Had he thought about me in the past six months? Had he missed me? Had he been dating around? Would we be able to make it work this time?
“Is this what you meant when you said you wanted to go for a ride?”
“I thought we’d ride up the coast for a while.?”
“OK, I guess…” What would happen today? Things had ended so abruptly between us. One day we were, then the next day we weren’t.
“I can’t wait to spend the day with you. I’ve been looking forward to it all week.”
Really?
He somehow heard the doubting Thomas question in my head.
“Hey.” He gently tugged my chin up with this thumb and forefinger. “I guess you haven’t missed me as much as I’ve missed you.? Can we try this again and see where it takes us?”
Twenty-plus words were all it took to melt away the bitterness of the past year and make me want to start again. I smiled. Pushover! Yeah…pushed-over and falling again. I was such a LOSER.
“Don’t let go of another good one!” my brother sarcastically yelled as Max tried to muffle his words with the roar of the bike.
“Hold on tight!”
Ominous and ye
t very promising words…
December 9, 2012 Well…That Didn’t Go So Well...
“You’re back!” My sister-in-law smiled with more enthusiasm than totally necessary. “You spent the night?”
“No,” I cut her off, “I mean yes, but no.”
“Explain, Sister.” The thing about Emily—as sweet as she is, she’s ruthless when she wants something from you. Whether it’s the dazzling smile she throws your way, or her sweet innocent pleading look, you can’t say no. Does this woman have any negatives in that beautiful frame of hers? I love her, but ugh!
“We rode up to Santa Barbara and were having brunch at the Four Seasons when everything went downhill.”
Emily didn’t need to know that the ride sucked. There was too much wind, the seat was uncomfortable, it was cold, and we didn’t say one word to each other for an hour and a half, but did I complain? No! I was accommodating—as accommodating as Jane Sydney Reid was ever going to be.
“And..?”
“Max’s cell phone kept ringing. After about the fifth ring, I kinda yelled at him to pick up the phone, and guess who was calling him?”
“Who?” Emily’s big brown eyes were bugging out. It was cute, in a freakishly bugging sort of way.
“Some GIRL! He was so uncomfortable talking to her and he couldn’t—no, he wouldn’t tell her that he was out with me. I was so pissed, I felt like walking out on him but I sat through his awkward conversation to get some answers.”
While I was pining away for him the last half of the year, apparently, this jerk was dating around.
“He explained that he had ‘group-dated’ this girl, another doctor at his hospital, briefly.” Emily’s mouth opened but I didn’t give her a chance to start. I had too many things to say. “And though it bothered me, all would have been OK except…his last date with her was just ‘a few days ago.’”
Those were the jerk’s words, verbatim! What kind of man tells one woman that he misses her and would like to try for a relationship with her one day, then goes out with a totally different woman the next day? Am I wrong to want someone to love me and me only? Forget love—way too soon for that concept. I just want someone to want me and me only. Maybe it’s an LA thing? Perhaps I should move back to New York and work a hundred hours a week and be on track to become the youngest partner at our firm.
“No!” Emily was horrified, then mad. She pulled out her cell phone and before she could call Max, I took it away from her. “Let me call him and yell at him. He can’t treat you like that! Oh, Jane…” Then, she hugged me. I think she was more hurt than I was. No matter what I thought or said about my sister, I loved her and she genuinely loved me. The rivalry was only on my part and solely in my head. “So where were you all yesterday?”
“I left Max, got myself a room, then a rental car. After calling around, I got a hold of my girlfriend, Hilary, and we hung out the whole day. The thought of sitting in the hotel room and gorging on ice cream was tempting, but I spent a boatload of money on clothes and shoes instead.”
“Oh, sweet Jane! Your knight in shining armor will come around. Max just needs to sort out his life and grow up some more.”
At this point, Max ≠ a knight in shining armor. Well…back to the drawing board!
December 13, 2013 Another Date…And His Initials Aren’t M.D.
This was the text that greeted my morning.
Can we meet for a quick lunch? You need to give me a chance to explain.
I need to give you a chance?
OK, sorry. Not the right thing to say. A lunch for a chance to grovel?
That made me laugh. Since I left without hearing the full explanation, I suppose I needed to give him a chance. Ha! It was more like I was dying to know who this Joyce girl was that he had been dating. From what my brother Jake told me, she was this brilliant doctor from Stanford who had been after Max for a while. When I asked what she looked like, he shrugged, saying that he hasn’t paid attention to another woman’s looks since he met Emily. Whatever…Dork!
OK but you’ve gotta come my way cuz I only have 30 min.
Perfect. See you soon.
The morning flew by between meetings and prep work for a case I was assisting.
“Jane, you have a moment?”
“Um, sure.”
Donovan, the head lawyer in mergers and acquisitions, waited for me to get up from my seat and practically held my hand into his office.
“What’s up?”
He handed me an envelope and gestured for me to open it.
“I just got these tickets to a Laker game and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me?”
“Like…as in a date?” I sounded so sophomoric, or better yet, so moronic asking this in a high-pitched voice.
“Yes, as in a date. Dinner at the Palm, floor seats to watch Kobe, Pau, and Howard in action? Unfortunately your favorite player is still injured.”
Damn!
Double Damn!
Floor seats, Laker game, hot successful lawyer…Why couldn’t he have asked me out just a few days ago? Do I go? Do I need to explain about Max? What would I say? Um…I’m kinda re-seeing this guy who had been dating around while I thought about him constantly?
“Hello. Earth to Jane?”
“Wait, how’d you know Steve Nash was my favorite player?”
“I heard you mention it the other day and bought these tickets with you in mind.”
A man who listens to what I have to say even when I wasn’t talking to him? Was he for real? Was I an idiot for letting this one go?
“Sure. I’d like that.”
“Great! We’ll take the company shuttle. I’ll pick you up at six?”
A goofy smile crossed my lips. “See you at six.”
That high didn’t last long as the speakerphone buzzed. “A Max Davis waiting for you in the lobby…”
Triple Damn!
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