Chapter 10
Sebastian slammed his laptop shut. A full week had passed since his conversation with Jack Gill, but he was no closer to getting what either of them needed. Seven whole days of scouring one end of the country to the next. Seven days of watching and waiting for the other shoe to drop and living on constant edge. When not consumed with wondering when their plans would fall into action, files, memos, and agendas filled his days. Every hour, more of them poured in, littering the surface of his desk. The workload was starting to feel like an insurmountable mountain. One he couldn’t scale. It took effort to force his attention back to his reports. The outline for Operation Blackout wasn’t pretty, and it made the light breakfast he’d scarfed down before leaving the house sour in his gut. The whiskey he kept tossing back didn’t help matters any, but it was the only way he could dull the dim voices of conscience and protest screaming in the back of his mind. Weakness, compassion, and mercy weren’t an option here. They were things that got a man killed or tossed in a reconditioning cell for weeks on end. Still, he couldn’t help but feel a brief twinge of terror and disgust. The civilians living outside the black site had no idea what was coming. They were mere lambs heading to their slaughter. Polishing off his drink, he lowered his glass with a grimace. They would cut all forms of communication with a single push of the button and set up perimeter. Nothing would be able to get in or out of the target area. Once the lines and signals were down, the units would descend and cordon the people off like sheep. From there, they were to round the tiny population up and transport them to various black sites where they would undergo rigorous evaluation. Letting his head fall back to rest against the top of his chair, Sebastian scrubbed his hands roughly over his face. Marx could dress it up any way he wanted. They both knew it was just a nice way of saying brainwashing or torture that would either mold the group or break them. Marx would spare the ones he found useful and exterminate the rest. Sebastian frowned. That was their agenda. That was the mission he was facing, yet he’d been forced to deliver a slightly different version with a prettier spin to his team. A stiff knock on the door drew his attention. Glancing up, he watched the guard stationed outside his office keep Josh at bay until he offered a slight nod of consent. Rolling his eyes at the man as if he should have known better, Josh pushed past the security detail and shut the door with a little more force than was necessary. Fighting to keep his amusement veiled, Sebastian poured another drink and watched his partner drop into his usual seat. “TGIF. I can’t wait to get the fuck out of here tonight,” Josh said. “I swear to Christ Marx is riding my ass worse than a bad pair of jeans. ” Sebastian offered a dismissive shrug. “That’s his right. Did you turn in your reports?” “Yeah. It’s handled Baas. You might want to check in with young blood though. Our guppy’s been looking a little green under the gills lately. ” “Are we referring to Jackson or is someone else’s competence in question?” Josh spread his hands with a disgruntled snort. “Does it really matter? They’re all floundering. Half of them won’t make it six months here and that’s being fucking generous. It reminds me of when I was a kid. I begged my old man constantly for a puppy. It was a cycle. He’d cave and give in, but the first time the mutt chewed something it wasn’t supposed to, he’d boot it right out the door. That shit happened three times. Eventually I learned not to get attached. ” “Charming,” Sebastian quipped. “Why didn’t you just stop asking?” “I don’t know. Sheer tenacity I guess. Sometimes we’re so blinded by what we want that we can’t see the bigger picture. ” The comment struck far too close to home. Mouth pursed into a firm line of displeasure and jaw set, Sebastian studied his partner. Josh’s face revealed nothing. Per usual, the man exuded a carefree and laid-back attitude that he’d come to envy all too often as of late. He almost resented it at times, especially when it felt as if the world itself was bearing down on his shoulders. Josh glanced away, seeking distraction from the scrutiny. Sebastian let a few more seconds pass before returning his focus to the files stacked on his desk. “Is there a reason for this visit?” he asked without looking up. “Yeah. Actually, there is. This past week or so has been rough. I don’t like all the tension and distance between us. I know a lot of that is my fault, but I get the feeling you’re keeping something from me. Something big. I know I screwed up. I’m sorry I broke your trust. Hell, I deserve the cold shoulder, but I don’t deserve to be shut out. This shit between you and Vince is really starting to rub me the wrong way. He’s not your partner, Baas. I am. ” He deliberated that for a long moment. “I appreciate your apology, but you aren’t being replaced. ” “Damn straight, pal. I know I never put that shit on my application, but I’m a selfish, monogamous prick. I don’t do threesomes. It’s either him or me. ” His lips quirked in a brief bid of amusement. “Are you jealous, Joshua?” “Piss off, Baas,” he shot back before shrugging. “Maybe a bit. ” “Relax. I have no intentions of letting you go. Even if I wanted to, no one else would be able to put up with me. ” Josh snorted in agreement. “You got that right. ” His broad shoulders relaxed a little and he slouched into a more comfortable position. “Now that that’s out of the way, do you want to tell me what is going on around here?” “Meaning?” he asked, raising a brow. “I mean Marx is on a warpath this morning. You would know this if you ever left your office, but that’s not the point. I don’t know what got up his ass, but he yanked half the new recruits out of formation and sent them outside with Bradley. The rest, he disappeared with. I haven’t seen him since, and there’s supposed to be a new batch of meat coming in by eleven. ” Frowning, he glanced up. “What?” Josh scrubbed a hand through his hair, his laugh shaky. “Yeah, I know. Crazy, huh? From what I hear, it’s a decent sized group, too. Upwards of twenty or more. ” Lowering his face into his hand, Sebastian pinched the bridge of his nose. This wasn’t good. Things were moving too fast. They were expanding too quickly. There wasn’t enough time to get to know the men, let alone decipher where they stood. He was losing ground, cornered on the ledge of some vast precipice where the earth kept eroding and falling away beneath his feet. Every time he tried to make a move, more kept crumbling. “I will be there to greet them,” he stated, trying to keep his voice even. “Since Marx is tied up, you and the rest of Sector One can assist me in welcoming our new arrivals. ” “Sure thing. What do you want us to do until then?” “Promoted or not, Vince is still the best surveillance technician we have. Grab him and see what you can round up on the facial scans. Maybe a new hit on Patrick James came in overnight. ” “Are you sure you don’t want some more alone time together?” Josh asked, making no effort to mask his derisive smirk. “The two of you have been awful cozy lately and I don’t want to step on any toes. ” Eyes narrowing, he cocked his head. Taking cue, Josh cleared his throat and stood. “Right. I’ll get on that. ” All he managed was a mute nod in return. He waited until Josh left and shut the door behind him before slumping lower in his seat. Grimacing with a combination of annoyance and pain, he tented his fingers and squeezed, rubbing at the building ache behind his sinuses. The dull, persistent throb that had been plaguing him for the past few days was starting to return with a vengeance. His thoughts were a collision course too decimated and scattered to piece back together. What was he going to do now? How was he supposed to handle the steady influx of people he knew nothing about and, furthermore, could SKALS even handle that kind of abrupt strain? Jack need to make his move, and he needed to make it quick. ~*~*~*~ Taylor stroked a hand over her belly and peeled the curtains back for what felt like the hundredth time that evening. The late afternoon sun was fading, but summer was approaching and long patches of shade still stretched across the grounds. She watched Sebastian approach in the reflective glare of the windowpane. His rich golden curls were still damp from his shower and his repeated attempts to tame them into submission with gel. A soft smile threatened as she watched him adjust his shirt collar. If
she didn’t know any better, she would have guessed him to be just as nervous as she was. His eyes locked with hers briefly in the window before he stole up behind her and wound his arms around her waist. Pressing against her back, he kissed her nape and smiled. “You’re glowing. ” “That’s a small plus in my favor. I’m so anxious right now I’m shaking,” she admitted. “Relax, sweetheart. Dinner smells wonderful and you are beyond stunning. Your mother will be proud to see you have grown into such a beautiful and capable young woman. ” Pulling her deeper into the cradle of his hips, he swayed lightly against her and kissed her neck again. “I know I certainly appreciate your talents. ” Laughing, she turned in his arms and tilted her head. “It’s not that difficult to cook and clean, Sebastian. ” “Perhaps not,” he agreed. “Yet it is still something many people fail to do on a consistent basis. Don’t demean yourself or the things you do for me, Taylor. You make me happy and we both know I am a difficult man to please. ” “There is that,” she conceded with a small smile. “Still, I think it’d be best if we avoided discussing my talents or the ways I make you happy while my mother is here. ” Sebastian winked and tapped the end of her nose. “That’s your call, but that silence is going to cost you later, sweetheart. As is your refusal to join me in the shower. ” Brushing a wayward wisp of bangs out of his way, he leaned over to whisper in her ear. “By the time I am done with you tonight, the whole neighborhood is going to know my name. ” A warm, throbbing heat spiraled low in her belly where it blossomed until her insides ached. The husky rasp of his voice matched the promise lurking in his eyes. Sinking her teeth into her bottom lip, she tried to ignore the hungry pulse between her thighs. It was no use. Her body knew all too well the pleasure that waited around the bend and it reacted in eager accord. Her cheeks flamed as he pressed closer. Backing her against the wall beside the window, Sebastian flashed a wicked grin and slid his hand under the hem of her dress. A low groan rolled through him as he rubbed the dampening scrap of lace between her legs. “Remember this while you are eating,” he whispered, his short stubble grazing the side of her neck. “Remember the way I touched you and what I am going to make you feel. ” A whimper rose in the back of her throat and she clutched his arms as her knees trembled. She could feel the raw pleading in her eyes as she tried to clamp her thighs together. Thrusting his knee between her legs, Sebastian kept them parted. A knowing smile plied his lips as he cupped her mound. A shudder of pleasure wound through her as he ground the heel of his palm against her. Capturing her earlobe, he tugged it between his teeth as he gave a slow shake of his head. “Don’t you cum. ” His voice came in a soft growl. Splaying her hands against the wall, Taylor fought to elude the tormenting gyrations between her legs. Her breath left her in a shallow pant. Closing her eyes only added to her euphoria and made the room spin. Her mind cursed his cruelty while her body hummed with a song of enthusiastic praise. She almost sobbed with relief when Rupert’s voice carried through the intercom and put an end to their delicious game. Sebastian pulled away from her and adjusted the heavy bulge of his erection with a pained grimace. She didn’t bother masking her amusement. Running a finger down the hard swell of his chest, she let it glide lower until it danced over the strained ridge of his zipper. “How many times have you told me things play both ways, handsome?” His piercing stare snapped to hers. Reproach mingled with the suffering in his pale green eyes. “I am going to remember this and the perverse pleasure you are taking from it,” he warned. “Promises,” she teased. “It looks like you need a minute. Go put your pistol away, shooter. I’ll get the door. ” Smoothing her dress back into place, she shivered as Sebastian followed on her heels. His breath fell against her back as his low, menacing laugh rolled across her nape. She reached the door but faltered as he cupped her chin. “You are going to pay for that,” he warned. “Dearly. ” Seizing the back of her head, he crushed his mouth against hers in a bruising kiss. The forceful claim assured he meant every word he said. The heat licking her insides climbed even higher. She could feel the flush crawl over her breasts and settle into her cheeks. Her shame deepened when she realized how all of this was going to look. Peering down at her, Sebastian offered an unrepentant smirk. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. It’s a very becoming look on you. ” “You are beyond warped,” she muttered, pulling open the door. A light summer breeze washed over her skin, but it was seeing the woman standing in front of her that cooled Taylor’s blood. More than a decade had passed, and her mother had aged and acquired the lines brought on by time and the worries of life, but there were still traces of the face she had dreamed of and remembered. Her heart ached with pangs of uncertainty and pain. She didn’t know what to say. Did she call her Mom or Elaine? Her humiliation only deepened when the silence lingered and her shoulders slumped beneath a wave of defeat. People should never have to wonder those things when it came to their own mother. She shouldn’t have to wonder if it was okay to hug her own parent or what to call them, yet here she was, conflicted and torn, and wishing she had pockets just so she had something to do with her hands. Frowning, Sebastian stepped around her and put an end to the awkward standoff. “You must be Elaine,” he said, extending his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Please, come inside. ” He gestured her inside and Taylor’s brow knitted as her mother’s gaze flickered her way. It didn’t take long for Elaine’s attention to shift elsewhere once she stepped inside the foyer. Hanging back, Taylor watched her scan her new surroundings. “You have a beautiful home, Sebastian. Thank you for allowing me to visit. ” Not missing the innuendo, Sebastian tilted his head. Though his smile didn’t falter, the sincerity behind it faded. “This is your daughter’s home as well. ” “Of course. ” Elaine straightened, extending her slender body to its full height. “I’m sorry,” she offered, turning to face Taylor. “I’ve rehearsed this moment a million times in my head, but I still don’t know what to say. Thank you for trying to put the past aside and welcoming me into your home. I know that couldn’t have been easy for you. ” Her throat tightened. Swallowing hard, she blinked against the burgeoning threat of tears and nodded. “It’s okay…Mom. ” She closed her eyes, drawing reassurance from Sebastian as he rubbed slow circles against her lower back and kissed the side of her temple. “Dinner should be done, baby. Let’s carry the food to the table and get your mother something to drink. ” Nodding mutely, she let him steer her into the more private seclusion of the kitchen. The concern in his eyes made her heart hurt even more as he stared down at her and brushed a thumb across her cheek. “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice unstable and shaky. “I don’t know what I was expecting. ” “It’s okay,” he soothed. “I just don’t like seeing you under this much strain. It’s not good for you. ” “I’ll be fine. I just need to work through this. I’ve dreamt of her coming back into my life so many times, Seb, but I never once imagined things would feel this distant. It’s almost like meeting a total stranger. ” He frowned. His expression was full of empathy as he ran his fingertips over the tiny swell of her belly. “A lot of time has gone by, baby. Just sit tight. Hopefully things will get easier. I can’t make any promises, but I will try to do whatever I can to help you here. ” She tried to smile but memories of Christmas Eve and their dinner party with Irene tumbled through her head, and she was sure the gesture came across as more of a pained grimace. Inviting her mother into their home was a bad idea on so many levels, but there was nothing she could do now but try to get through it. “Thank you,” she whispered. His stare weighed heavy, calculating both mood and condition. She could feel the reluctance thrumming through him and the atmosphere shifted, darkening like a gathering of clouds. Sebastian’s guard was going up and his tolerance down, neither of which bode well for the situation. He’d always been hyper-vigilant and queued into her every mood and reaction, but now that she was carrying his child, Sebastian was on constant edge. She loved him for his protect
iveness, but she also knew if she didn’t find a way to ease the tension of the evening, he would kibosh the whole thing before it even had a chance to begin. A few moments later, she’d set the fresh dinner rolls down and settled into her chair. Thin tendrils of steam rose from the baked ziti, carrying the rich aroma of olive oil and garlic she’d chosen in lieu of marinara. Her mother forced a tremulous smile over the rim of her white wine as Sebastian took his seat at the head of the table. “It smells wonderful. ” Taylor couldn’t help but feel a small burst of pride. “Thank you. ” Dishing a liberal portion onto his plate, Sebastian then passed the bowl. “Your daughter is an amazing cook,” he agreed. “She keeps me very well-fed. ” “Not too well,” Elaine stated, seeming to relax a little. “You seem fit. I imagine that is part of your job though. ” “Yes. I suppose it is. ” Sebastian turned his attention to his meal, his expression contemplative. Taylor buttered her roll. So many questions flitted through her mind. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, Mom, but it’s been so long since we talked. How did you find me?” Elaine’s fork hovered in midair. Round grey eyes locked with Taylor’s across the table. The careful mask of composure her mother wore faltered for a mere second before the regal mask slipped back into place. “I visited your uncle last week. He was kind enough to fill me in on your current situation. ” Sebastian frowned and set his glass down. “What situation is that?” She remained aloof and collected. The brief purse of her painted lips was the only sign she felt anything other than what her expression indicated. “Roy told me my daughter had moved to Flagstaff. It wasn’t hard to find you, once I had a name. You appear to have provided for her quite well, Agent Baas. She seems happy and healthy. Seeing that much at least has helped ease some of my reservations. ” The soft clink of silverware hitting a plate filled the room. Nauseas, Taylor closed her eyes and rubbed a shaky hand over the lower half of her face. “Mom…” “It’s alright, Taylor,” Sebastian said. “I am curious, Elaine. Just what might those reservations be?” “From my understanding, you isolated my daughter and cut her off from her family. This raises some concerns in my eyes. ” “I see,” Sebastian stated, leaning back in his seat. “Let me ask you something. Roy is your brother, correct?” “Yes. ” Taylor’s heart sank as she watched the cold, calculating gleam flare to life in her lover’s eyes. He nodded stiffly at her mother’s response, his mouth hardening into a grim press. “I am sure you were well aware of your brother’s situation. You knew the man could barely make ends meet, yet you abandoned your daughter at his door, knowing he would never be able to provide for her. She grew up feeling she was nothing more than an added burden and an extra mouth to feed. Where was that concern then?” “I left her with family,” her mother countered. “A loose definition of the word at best. There was never any real sense of love or belonging. Instead, she was made to feel indebted to those people. People who in turn used her and betrayed her trust. Your brother and his son tried to pin their moonshining operation on your daughter and were more than willing to let her take the fall so they could go free. You have no idea how many strings I had to pull or the amount of cajoling it took to keep her out of jail, so you will have to excuse me if I fail to see things from your perspective. ” “I don’t think you understand my point, Agent Baas. ” “You are correct,” Sebastian agreed. “You have no point. I didn’t tell your daughter to stop associating with those people in an attempt to control her. I did it to protect her. If not for me, she would have been behind bars. If I truly wished to cut her off from her family, you would not be here. ” “What about her friends?” “I am a private man. I admit to being jealous and overprotective at times, but I am not petty. Taylor keeps in touch with a young man she went to school with. If my intentions were as trivial as you claim, another man would be the first to go. ” He spread his hands, his smile taut and unforgiving. “Yet here we are. They talk often and she’s asked Daryl to escort her down the aisle. ” “I see,” her mother stated, focusing her attention on her plate just long enough to sneak in a quick bite. “What about her job?” Sebastian sighed. “Your daughter was exhausted and working herself to the bone. I make more than enough to sustain us. I saw no reason for her to continue driving herself into the ground. ” “So you told her to quit?” Taylor stared across the table at her, grappling with a heady mixture of annoyance and disbelief. The constant barrage of questions was bad enough without the woman acting like she wasn’t sitting right there in the same room with them. The brittle threads of self-control she’d been clinging to frayed and snapped, much like the illusions of love and security she’d wrapped herself in as a child. Mother or not, she was not going to sit back and let this woman dismantle her life all over again. “Sebastian didn’t tell me to quit. He never once demanded that of me. He asked if I would give him a chance to take care of me. To give us taking care of each other a chance. What did I have to lose? I was working twelve to fourteen hours a day at a truck stop. It’s not as if I gave up some exciting and successful career. ” “I know, honey,” her mother soothed. “No. You really don’t, and I don’t see any reason why we should have to explain everything to you. ” “I was just trying to understand where you’re coming from, Tay. I wasn’t trying to offend either of you. ” “Well, you did,” Taylor shot back. She tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice, but judging from Sebastian’s wince, she failed miserably. “I can see that and I’m sorry. I was just trying to learn more about you. The only things I know are what your uncle has told me. ” “Whose fault is that? You walked out on me. It’s been ten years, Mom. I can’t even remember the last time you bothered to call. If you really cared about me, you would have been there. You would have made an effort. You would have done something. ” “Taylor,” Sebastian cautioned softly. “What? She has no right to walk into my life after all that time and question me. You haven’t even bothered to ask me how I am doing or if I am happy,” she accused, staring across the table at her mother. “You already tore my life apart once. You don’t get to do that again. Either drop the interrogation act or get out of our house!” Elaine opened her mouth as if she meant to answer but clamped it shut with enough force to make her teeth clack. Glancing between them, Sebastian dragged a hand through his hair. His bewildered stare swung to Taylor before drifting back to her mother again. “I am at a loss for words here,” he stated quietly. “I don’t think this is quite the evening either of you had planned. ” “No,” Taylor agreed. “It’s not. ” She started to push away from the table, only to have his hand close around her wrist. “Sit down, Taylor. You need to eat. ” “Sebastian, please. ” “Don’t make me repeat myself. You are going to eat. This is not open for debate. ” She held his gaze for a long moment before she reluctantly obeyed and dropped onto her seat. His stare didn’t waver until she picked up her fork again and speared a bite of pasta and zucchini onto the end. A forced nod of approval was all she got before Sebastian picked up his wine glass and turned his undivided attention to her mother. “I’ve had a very long day, Elaine, and my dinner is getting cold. Let’s skip the formalities and get to the point. It’s obvious you don’t intend to mend any fences with your daughter, so why are you really here?” Taylor stopped chewing, her breath catching as she waited for an answer. Her heart seemed to twist, wringing like a wet dishtowel in her chest, as she prayed the response would be one her battered emotions could handle. Her mother remained regal and composed, unflappable despite the potential storm brewing. “You are quite perceptive, Agent Baas. ” “It’s a job requirement,” he stated flatly. “Answer the question. ” Taylor’s mother smoothed the lapel of her crisp linen suit. The cream silk shimmered in the luminous glow of the candlelight. Raising her fork, she took a bite of squash and met Sebastian’s condemning stare with a serenity few men could muster. “What does the name Colleen James mean to you?” Confused, Taylor knitted her brow as she
watched Sebastian’s eyes narrow into dangerous slits. They seethed, the pale green now smoldering with barely checked anger. “Next to nothing,” he ground out, his tone bitter. “That’s a shame. I can fill you in if you would like. ” “I would rather you didn’t. ” Unable to help it, Taylor glanced between the two of them. “I think I remember that name, but I can’t place it. Who’s Colleen?” “No one. ” “That’s not true,” her mother argued. “She is a very dear friend of mine and has been for a number of years. Your fiancé seems to think she’s a person of interest as of late. ” Numb, Taylor tried to wrap her mind around the conversation. It hurt to know her mother had other intentions, other reasons for this long overdue visit. She wondered how she was supposed to respond to something like that, but Sebastian spared her the trouble. “I had my reasons,” he said. “Given her situation, I helped her as much as I could, but I am not going to sit here and justify myself or my actions to you, Elaine. ” “She’s just a housewife. She’s been heartbroken and struggling to hold on ever since her husband abandoned her. I fail to see how she could be of any help to you, let alone any interest. I don’t know what your people are hoping to get out of her, but you need to leave the poor woman alone and let her grieve. ” Sebastian dropped his chin to his chest and laughed. The low, hoarse sound made the tiny hairs on Taylor’s arms lift and stand on end. A shiver coursed through her as she watched him confront her mother again, his expression turning to one of pure malice. “Where the hell do you get off coming into my home and speaking to me like that?” he asked, leaning closer. “You turned your back on your own child, yet you have the audacity to sit here and talk to me about the pain of abandonment? You want me to let someone else grieve so you can help them work through their pain? What about Taylor? Not once have I heard you apologize or try to make things right. How is it that you can show so much concern for this woman’s feelings and none for your daughter’s? Did you even stop to think about how any of this conversation would impact her and make her feel?” “I do care about my daughter, Agent Baas. ” “No,” he interrupted. “You don’t. That much is painfully clear. This conversation is finished. I want you out of my house. ” “Please, Colleen means a great deal to me and she--” “I don’t give a damn what she means to you, and I highly suggest you stop talking while you’re still ahead. ” “That’s fine,” Elaine said. “Just bear in mind she has a number of powerful friends. You need to be careful. These aren’t the kind of people you want to have breathing down your neck. Find a different avenue and leave the woman out of it. She’s innocent and doesn’t deserve to get hurt. ” Taylor hung her head as the words sank in, each one stabbing and shedding her soul like a knife. The final blow struck somewhere too deep to register. The pain so devastating it left her numb. She couldn’t cry. She refused to relinquish what little remained of her pride. She wouldn’t give her mother the satisfaction of knowing the McAvay clan had just broken her heart and extinguished her dreams all over again. Clamping her eyes shut, she listened to the telltale scrape of wood as her mother pushed to her feet and stood. Her body trembled with her efforts to convince herself it didn’t matter if the woman left. None of it mattered. She’d made it this long without her parents. She could do it all again. “Taylor…” Her mother’s voice broke through her mantra, shattering the delicate walls she’d built. “Leave her alone. ” Sebastian’s warning carried authority, along with an unmistakable chill. “See yourself out, Elaine, or I will escort you. Believe me that is not the decision you want to make. ” The stillness that followed rattled her clear down to Taylor’s bones. Seeking a way to distract herself and break away from the heaviness cloaking the room, she stood to clear the table. White-hot pain ripped along the underside of her belly, the searing pain tearing through her abdomen without warning. Biting back a cry, she gripped the table ledge with one hand and tried to cradle her stomach with the other. Sebastian whipped around at the sound of her agonized cry. He lunged toward her, securing her under his arm. His eyes dark and fearful, his face branded with deep lines of worry as he pulled her into the protective cradle of his side. His hand covered hers, his fingers following along as she rubbed the underside of her abdomen and grimaced. “Baby, what is it?” His voice was shaky, uneven, and bordering on panic. Looming closer, he searched her face. “Are you okay?” She sucked in an experimental breath, terrified it would trigger the lessening pain. When nothing else happened, she pulled in another gulp of air to steady herself and nodded. “Yeah, Sebs. I’m fine. I don’t know what happened. Everything was great until I stood. Then, it felt like someone was suddenly twisting a hot knife into the side of my groin. It seems to be gone now. ” “We should get you checked out,” he suggested, brushing a kiss against the side of her head. “Sit down. I’m going to grab my keys. ” She grabbed his hand and held tight, stilling his retreat. “No. It stopped, Sebby. Honestly…I’m okay. ” “How far along are you?” Taylor winced as Sebastian snapped to full attention. His spine went ramrod straight, his body growing as rigid and unyielding as iron or stone. His fists coiled and his chest heaved, rising and falling like a bellows, as he glared her mother’s way. There was no mistaking his mood or intentions. The muscles along his jaw stood out in white knots and every labored breath made his nostrils flare. He stiffened against her and Taylor gripped his wrist, hoping to hold him in place, as she looked to her mother in panic. “It sounds like it was just a ligament stretching. It’s a common side effect in pregnancy, especially in first-time mothers,” Elaine offered. “It’s painful but harmless. No need for either of you to be concerned. ” Sebastian quivered at her side, the lean lines of his body growing even tenser. She could feel the hard cords of muscles ripple and condense as if bracing for a lethal strike. She swallowed against the lump lodged in the back of her throat when the cool landscape of her mother’s eyes softened and, for the first time that night, empathy and something close to affection shone in those eloquent grey pools while Elaine stared back at them. “I’m happy for you, Taylor. Truly, I am. I’m happy for you both. ” “H-how did you know?” she whispered. “I’m a woman, honey. We tend to know these things. I suspected as much when I saw you, but your fiancé’s reactions cemented those beliefs. That was the concern of a very attentive and worried father-to-be. ” Her round lips curved into an apologetic smile. “Besides, I was pregnant once myself. When are you due? “A few days before Christmas. I’m fifteen weeks. ” Elaine nodded. “Congratulations. You’ll both have an extra holiday blessing then. ” A soft sigh escaped her and her shoulders slumped ever so slightly as she turned to Sebastian. “I don’t agree with the methods, but I understand your reasons and why you’ve been so ferocious in getting the information you need. You’ll find what you are looking for in Hawaii. Take good care of my daughter, Agent Baas. She deserves much more than the life I was able to give. ” ~*~*~*~ Few things in life managed to throw him for a loop anymore, but staring after Elaine McAvay while she made her casual escape, Sebastian found himself at a definite loss for words. Confusion swept over him, only to become worsened by the onslaught of questions tumbling through his mind. The front door opened then closed while he stood there still trying to process what had just happened. It was honestly more than he could comprehend or digest. A slight shimmy drew his attention and he glanced down to find Taylor ashen-white, the hold on his wrist tightening to an almost painful intensity in the wake of her mother’s absence. He frowned. Up until the woman’s parting words, he’d thought the title a loose fit at best. Now…he wasn’t so sure. Shaking thoughts of Elaine for a moment, he focused on Taylor and ran his thumb over the sloping curve of her cheek. “I don’t suppose I can talk you into finishing the rest of your dinner?” Lowering her eyes, she gave a miserable shake of her head. “If I try right now, it will make me sick. ” He nodded, hating the impact the night was having. “Maybe later then,” he said gently. “It’s be
en a difficult day for you. You need to relax and unwind. Go soak in the tub for a bit, baby. I’ll clean up down here. ” “I can handle it, Sebastian. I need the distraction. ” Cupping her chin, he tilted her face up to his. “Distract yourself with bubbles and a good book then. I will be up in a little bit. ” She sighed, but offered a reluctant smile. Rocking up on her toes, she placated him with a quick kiss. Relief mingled with the brief flash of gratitude in her eyes, easing some of the tension from her beautiful face. The heavy remnants of sorrow and regret still lingered in his chest, smothering him, as he watched her head for the stairs. She’d been through so much lately. It was his job to protect her, to shield her from the heartaches and monstrosities in life and, so far, he had failed miserably. Bitterness clung to him, dousing his spirits as he cleared the dishes from the table. He listened to the gentle rush of water churning overhead as he scraped the remainder of their food into the trash. For the most part, their meals had gone untouched. Another fact that didn’t sit well with him. His ears strained, tracking Taylor’s actions overhead. She was being so strong in light of what happened. Too strong perhaps. The thought troubled him as he started to rinse the dishes and the clock callously ticked off the seconds from the mantle in the other room. It was like listening to his life and all of the precious moments wasted slowly slip away. His brow furrowed, creeping lower, as he pondered her mother. The fact that she knew Colleen James was upsetting to say the least. Her parting words, though a gift, had also packed the punch of buckshot to the gut. She knew who he was looking for and why. The only questions were how and what side was she playing? How much did she know about him and SKALS? He frowned. It was doubtful Colleen would have talked about their encounters. Not with her brother’s life on the line. So how was it that Taylor’s mother knew so much about him and what his objectives were? Who in the hell was that woman and what was she after? His lips settled into a grim press as he stacked the plates into the dishwasher. Far too many questions remained. Sebastian dropped a soap pod into the dispenser and dried his hands. The situation was one he was going to have to look into, but not tonight. Taylor was huddled in the middle of their king-sized bed by the time he climbed the stairs. Still clad in a towel, her damp hair shielded her face like a curtain as she hugged her knees to her chest. She looked so lost and forlorn it made his chest ache. Shutting the doors, he then crossed the room to gather her in his arms. The fragile dam of her composure broke, and hot tears seeped through the thin cotton of his shirt where they scalded his chest. Settling against the headboard, he leaned back and tenderly ran his palms over her cheeks, drying her tears away. “Shhh, baby,” he soothed, lowering his head to rest it against hers. “Don’t do that. Everything is going to be okay. ” “I can’t help it. I’m trying so hard not to, Seb. I don’t even know why I’m letting her or this thing get to me. Who the hell cares why she came?” He kissed the tip of her nose and tried to force a reassuring smile. “You do. You expected more from your mother and she let you down. You have a big heart, Taylor. You’re always so kind and forgiving. You always try to look past the mistakes people make. Tonight was no different. ” Her laugh was sad and empty as she roughly wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. Sniffing, she shrugged. “I really need to quit doing that. ” Palming the back of her head, he tugged her closer and pulled her up the front of him. “No. You don’t. Not many people are willing to love as deeply as you do. I hate that it leaves you open to this kind of pain, but it’s also something I admire about you. You feel. You put yourself out there, come what may, and that takes strength. Falling down is nothing to be ashamed of as long as you find a way to pick yourself up again. Don’t ever change the way you love, darling. That’s what makes you, you. ” The mercurial pools of her eyes held such sorrow. They felt like leaden weights tethered to his heart. He could feel himself drowning in those tragic depths. Still flooded with tears they shimmered like quicksilver, begging him to make it all go away. “I don’t feel strong, Sebastian. I feel lost. ” “Then hold onto me, baby. I’ll bring you home again. ” Threading his fingers through her hair, he kissed her. She was hesitant at first, but he moved slowly until she grew more pliant in his arms. The salty taste of her tears clung to her lips as he traced the plush swells with the tip of his tongue. Her arms wound around his neck in a gesture full of pleading and acceptance. Using his weight to guide her, he pushed her down, urging her to lie back on the bed. “What was my mother talking about? What will you find in Hawaii?” she whispered once he pulled his mouth away. Sebastian froze, uncertain of how to respond. Though he understood her reasons for wanting to know, it was still his first instinct to maintain a distinct line between work and family. “I deserve an answer,” she said, staring up at him. “This visit wasn’t about reconnecting with me, Sebby. It was about my mother protecting Colleen. I deserve to know what makes her more important than me. ” Dropping his chin to his chest, he gave a sorrowful shake of his head. “She’s not, baby. Not to me,” he said, lifting his gaze back up to hers. “Her friend was married to a man we’ve been looking for. That’s all. ” “How does she know what you’re after?” “I don’t know, Taylor. I wish I had an answer for that. ” “Seb. . . she knows things about you. She knows about the baby. ” She trailed off, her swallow sounding pained and uncertain in the silent confines of their room. “Are you going to…” His mind filled in the blanks of what she was trying to say and he closed his eyes. As much as he hated to admit it, that had been the first thought to flicker through his mind. But that was before. Bracing his weight on his elbows, he stared down at her and cupped her face between his hands. “No. ” The lone word hung between him and doubt clouded her face. “I am not going to kill your mother, Taylor. No matter what, she is still a part of you. I couldn’t do that. ” Her delectable mouth twisted into a moue of thought. Reaching up, she trailed her fingers through his hair. “I know how things work. I need a better reassurance, Sebastian. Don’t sugarcoat or talk around it. Just tell me the truth. ” He supposed he deserved the suspicion. He’d killed people for far less. Elaine posed a potential threat to his family, and that was the worse act a person could commit. Taylor was precious to him, sacred. When it came to protecting her, he had zero tolerance. At all. Lowering his head, he tried to shield his reluctance. “No one will touch her, Taylor. Not yet. The information she shared might be our only hope of ending this situation, and I don’t take that gesture lightly. As long as she continues to help us instead of harm, she will be safe. ” “What’s in Hawaii?” she asked. “You keep avoiding that question. ” “Baby, please. I love you, but the less you know about everything, the better. You already know far too much as it is. ” He watched the curious shimmer in her eyes dull. Shutting down, she tried to turn her head. “Stop it,” he warned, forcing her attention back to him. “All you need to know is we’re going on vacation, Taylor. That’s what’s in Hawaii: beaches, white sand, the roar of the open surf and nothing but you and me. ” “And whatever it is you’re looking for. ” He sighed. “I have to. I’ve been on this trail for a long time and it’s the only lead I’ve got. Thinking on it, it makes sense. The islands offer some of the few places where people can still live completely off the grid, but now that I know where to look, it won’t take long. I’ll bring some of the security team along and they can keep you company while you catch up on your sleep or spend a few hours at a spa. ” “When are we going?” “It’s short notice, but unless you have any objections, it would be a perfect way for us to spend the fourth of July. Who knows,” he murmured, holding her gaze. “Maybe you’ll decide you’re tired of waiting and we’ll elope. ” “I think I’d like that,” she whispered. A teasing smile played on his lips as he gently butted his head against hers. “You think?” he asked. “You might want to reconsider that answer, sweetheart. Rough night or not, I haven’t forgotten the promises I made. ” “I know I would like i
t,” she corrected, her breath starting to shallow and quicken. He smiled to himself knowing he had his little minx exactly where he wanted her…on the hook, her mind spinning, and her body heating with need. It was a delicious game. He lifted his eyes to hers. “So you claim. ” She wiggled slightly beneath him. The contact spurred his desire and the friction made his cock swell and ache. Contemplating his next course of action, he crooked his finger and ran it along the line of her jaw. “Stop trying to get away from me. You’re only going to make things worse. ” “I wasn’t. ” “Open your legs. I want to enjoy what’s mine. ” Pulling the towel free, he bared her to his hungry gaze. Her breasts were already growing fuller and more round. His erection strained hard against the seam of his shorts as he watched her pink nipples tighten beneath the cool air whispering across them. Unable to resist, he cupped the plump globes in his hands and laved his tongue back and forth across the stiff peaks. He circled the sensitive tips, teasing her, until her fingers trenched in his hair. Kissing each rosy blossom, he then drew one into his mouth and sucked hard enough to wring a pleading gasp from her lips. She arched to relieve the pressure but the movement bowed her into him. Eager, he ground against her, loving the way the heat between her legs radiated against his zipper seam. The pressure and the friction were enough to drive him mad. His cock throbbed, aching with the desperate need to bury deep inside her. Fumbling between them, he popped the button on his shorts and kicked free. He crushed his mouth against hers, demanding and hungry, as Taylor hooked her legs around his waist. All thoughts of making her suffer fell by the wayside. She was hot, willing, and slick with desire. Her juices coated him as she eagerly rubbed against the ridge of his shaft, drawing a tortured groan from his throat. He saw no reason to prolong his torture. Aligning himself, Sebastian pushed deep. Scorching heat enveloped him and the tight, velvety clamp of her body caused delicious waves of goose bumps to ripple across his skin. She was sheer heaven. Sweeping his tongue past her lips, he surrendered himself to the feel and shuddered. He ached to pound into her with everything he had, to consume her inside and out. It was easy to lose himself in the violent throes of passion. He often surrendered, letting himself fall into a frenzy so intense it wiped away thoughts of anything else, but that wasn’t what Taylor needed from him. Not this time. Cupping her face, he kissed her deeply. He thrust hard, relishing the feel as he bottomed out several times against her womb. Then, lacing his fingers through hers, Sebastian lessened the pressure of their mouths until their lips barely touched, only teased, hinting at what could have been in a gentle brush. His heartbeat skidded in his chest as if trying to synch to their movements. He eased back, then pushed back, repeating until she rocked to the sway of his slow, steady thrusts and his skin tingled with greedy anticipation. He bordered on the brink of something foreign and unknown. The connection they had, the sensations running through him different this time, new somehow, but God did they feel good. He reveled in them, in her, and the intense bursts of pleasure that shot through him like bullets barreling out of a chamber. Sliding a hand beneath her ass, he angled her up to him. A low groan hummed in the base of his throat as his cock stabbed deeper. Every pulse, every quiver running through her was his for the taking. Her delirious pleas rang in his ears, egging him on, the sound and the sight of her flushed and sprawled beneath him drove him wild. He kept going, kept pushing them both to the brink until his balls ached and his exhausted muscles couldn’t take anymore. Numbing, euphoric bliss seized hold and the maddening need for release rose. Taylor’s breathless cries echoed in his ears as he picked up the pace. Her nails raked his back hard enough to draw a pained hiss. Head falling back, Taylor cried out. Her body quivered and locked around him like a vice, clenching, squeezing, and milking until the world exploded. Darkness threatened as he pistoned faster. Slamming himself deep against her cervix, he came, the air leaving him in a winded roar. Shivers wracked him as his cock throbbed and emptied. Gasping for breath, Sebastian trembled as the delighted aftershocks continued to dance across his skin. Closing his eyes, he savored the moment and waited for the furious pounding of his heart to still. “I love you, baby,” he whispered hoarsely. “I love you, too, Sebby. ” He nodded, wishing he could lend voice to his thoughts, but he wasn’t a poetic man. He didn’t have the words to convey his feelings. He never would where this woman was concerned. She was the heaven to his hell, the only thing capable of piercing the darkness where he dwelled. There was no way to thank someone for something like that. He couldn’t make up for the deficits or damage his life had caused, but on nights like this where his mind wasn’t plagued with thoughts of work, he prayed for the strength and courage to be the man she deserved. Rolling onto his back, he drew her against his side and brushed a kiss across her temple before letting his head fall back to rest against the pillows. He hoped, somewhere, someone was still listening despite his many sins. Neither he nor Taylor could outrun their pasts. The future and the promise it held was all they had.