Chapter 3
The whiskey burned like liquid fire going down, but he grimaced and tossed back another shot. Few things dulled the anger and dread inside him, and one of them was sleeping upstairs. It had been a long day between dealing with Marx and bringing Taylor home and assuring she was settled. Maybe he was going soft, but he found himself acting extremely out of character and debating whether or not he should ask Rupert to settle into the vacant guest room across the hall. He tried to convince himself it was just a knee-jerk reaction that would pass, but it would almost make him feel better to know there was armed security in the house guarding Taylor when he was away. Almost, but not quite. Cursing, Sebastian scrubbed the elongated stubble still stretching across his chin. Maybe it wasn’t out of character. With all of the shit that was going on, it was a real enough possibility that he’d just gotten that damn paranoid. Josh tossed back another shot as well and regarded him with a rueful shake of his head. “You look like shit, bro. ” “Yeah, thanks. I’ll be sure to rescind my cover shoot for GQ this month. ” His partner shrugged. “I was just saying a real shower and a shave wouldn’t hurt. Especially if we’re going to be working in close quarters here and all. ” “I’m not asking you to cuddle,” Sebastian snapped. “I’m asking you to help me find the son-of-a-bitch that did this to Taylor. Either start doing that or get the hell out. ” The humor in his partner’s blue eyes dimmed and he spread his hands in a show of helpless frustration. “I was getting to that, but I swear to Christ you are so tightly wound right now, I’m afraid if I breathe on you, you’ll snap. ” “That might very well be the case. ” “Yeah. Go figure,” Josh muttered. “I went over the police reports. There’s nothing in there that doesn’t jive with Taylor’s version of the story. She blew the intersection and got hit…twice. They said a local towing company had been called to pick up the vehicle, but when Brad and I went to pick it up and sweep it, the guy said it was gone. ” Sebastian’s fists coiling as he turned to confront his partner with a questioning tilt of his head. “Gone where?” he asked. “I don’t know, Baas. That’s a good question. He said some guy came to pick it up: a tall, middle-aged Caucasian who doesn’t match the description of anyone we know or the man Taylor said she spotted. We’ve called around but, as of yet, we got nothing. ” His cheeks twitched as his eyes narrowed. “Why would someone do that?” Josh shrugged. “Who the hell knows? Times are tough, pal. Those 300s are pretty boxy and look like they weigh a ton. Maybe it was someone looking to make some extra cash. ” Josh said as he settled into the russet leather armchair gracing the study. “Without any proper identification?” Sebastian asked. Growling he paced the floor and raked his hand through his hair with a vicious tug. “What about the tapes? Descriptions aren’t reliable. I want to see this guy. ” “Not gonna happen. System was busted. You know how those local mom and pop shops can be. ” His laugh was dry and sardonic. “Of course. Some man just waltzes in and takes my vehicle with no identification and it just so happens the towing company’s surveillance system was on the fritz? I don’t think so,” he claimed. Whirling on his heel, he pointed his partner’s way. “This guy knows who did it or he is covering someone else’s bases. Tell him to spit out what he knows or I will have his head on a goddamn stick. ” Josh winced at both words and venomous tone. “Okay, Baas. Just try to calm down a little bit here, would ya?” Sebastian cocked his head, his eyes narrowing into thin slits as his voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. “Someone tried to kill Taylor and you’re asking me to calm down?” The harsh angles of Josh’s face shifted with his pained grimace. He tensed in his seat as if expecting Sebastian to spring. “I didn’t mean it like that. Look, Baas, all I’m trying to say is that we don’t know that for a fact. For all we know, it was just some weird manufacturing default in her car. We can’t just go after this guy and pump him for info. Not without knowing the whole story. We’ll get there, buddy. I promise. You just gotta give it some time. ” “What about the video surveillance from the grocery store?” “I’m working on it. The prick wasn’t exactly sympathetic when I whipped out my badge. He’s demanding warrants. We’ll get the tapes. It’s just going to take a day or two. ” Sighing, Sebastian sloughed a hand down his face. He wondered if his features looked as haggard as they felt beneath his palm. “I don’t have that kind of time. If Marx was behind this we’ll never find anything,” he muttered, his voice carrying a hint of defeat. “He’s too smart for that. ” Josh leaned back, his face contorting. “Hold up. Do you honestly think he was involved in this?” “What makes you think he wasn’t?” “It’s just not his style. It’s too subtle. If Marx wanted her gone, she would be. He wouldn’t try to hide it. The asshole would flaunt it and bask in your misery. ” “Not his style, Josh?” he asked, fighting to keep the bitterness out of his voice. “Perhaps you’ve forgotten what he did to my family the last time he perceived them as a threat. ” The none too subtle reminder drew a muttered curse from his partner. Ignoring him, Sebastian dropped onto the padded office chair behind his desk. The leather cushions expelled a soft hiss of air beneath him as he frowned and adjusted his weight. “I am just being truthful, Josh. You have no idea what he is capable of or what sort of things he would hide from us. None of us do. ” “So we are getting back on that tangent again?” “Which one would that be?” Sebastian asked, raising a tawny brow. “The one where Marx is a double-crossing bastard who can’t be trusted. ” He opened his mouth to speak then closed it. After pouring himself a drink, he swirled his tumbler, watching the rich amber liquid ripple across the deep beveled cuts of crystal. His gaze landed on his partner, studying him. Josh’s muscles were taut, his brow drawn, and his arms crossed in a defensive fold. As much as he wanted to tell the man what he knew about their leader and Project Blue, everything about his partner’s body language warned that now was not the time. His gut burned with an intensity beyond the pleasant warmth of the alcohol, and an ulcer threatened to flare. Blue wasn’t something he could sit on forever. Soon, Marx would want to make a move, but divulging that sort of bombshell to his team put him on very dangerous ground. If he spoke too soon, they would think he was insane. Blowing out a deep breath, he seriously started to wonder if that wasn’t the case. As horrible as it was, he actually preferred that option over the one he currently faced. Josh shook his head. “Look, I know you need a place to lay the blame. All I’m asking is for you to sit tight for a few days and trust me. Focus your energy on Taylor, where it needs to be, not some hate-fueled headhunt. Jumping to conclusions right now is only going to get you hurt or killed. You damn near crossed that line today, Baas. Don’t make that mistake again. ” Sebastian mulled those words over for a few minutes. His troubled gaze shifted beyond his partner’s solid silhouette to the twilight painted hues blanketing the grounds. Perhaps Josh was right. A few more days wouldn’t hurt anything. For the moment at least, Taylor was safe, tucked behind a sanctuary of electric gates and guarded walls. Shifting his attention back to his partner, he tented his fingers beneath his chin and nodded. “Keep me updated. ” “I will, Baas. ” Josh hesitated then added, “I’m glad Taylor is okay. ” His shoulders jerked with wry humor. “As am I. We wouldn’t be having this discussion if she wasn’t. ” They both frowned in confusion at the sound of soft footfalls outside the door. A light knock drew his attention and Sebastian lifted his stare as the ornate wooden barrier inched open. Josh swiveled in his chair, his gaze raking over Taylor as she offered them a hesitant smile. His face twisted with sympathy. “Hey, kiddo. How ya doing?” Her fingers curled around the doorframe for support, but Taylor brightened a little with her smile. “Hi, Josh. I’m okay. How have you been?” “He’s fine. Why aren’t you in bed?” Sebastian asked, levering to his feet. “You’re supposed to be resting. ” “I’m hungry,” she admitted with a sheepish wince. “Okay. I’ll order something in a minute, baby. Go lie back down. ” Taylor made no effort to mask her pout
. “Would it hurry you along any if I told you I was lonely too?” Josh chuckled quietly and rose to his feet. “That’s my cue to get the hell out of here. ” He clapped Sebastian on the shoulder. “Take good care of her, Baas, and think about what I said. ” Hauling his partner in, he thumped his back in a brief show of appreciation. Josh crossed the room and flashed a wink in Taylor’s direction. “Later, kid. Get better and keep Sebastian outta trouble. ” “I’ll try but you know how he is,” she said with a quiet laugh. “Give Monique and Aiden our love. ” “I will. I’ll show myself out. ” “Don’t let the door hit you,” Sebastian muttered. Some of his bitterness faded as he found himself staring into the silver pools of Taylor’s eyes. As sappy as it sounded, he could lose himself inside of them for hours. Maybe even days. Relaxing some, he forced a smile and brushed her cheek, hating the small cuts and bruises mottling her precious skin. “Stubborn little minx,” he mused before leaning in to kiss the tip of her nose. “You’re so lucky I love you. What do you want to eat?” Taylor tapped her lip in thought for a second before swinging her wide eyes up to his. “Chinese? I would do unspeakable things for some General’s chicken and vegetable fried rice right now. ” Laughing, he palmed the back of her head. “I’m going to remember you said that,” he warned. “I’ll place the order. You go get comfortable on the couch and pick out a movie or something. You need to rest. ” “Yes, Sebastian. ” She started to back toward the corridor and faltered. Casting her attention to the floor, she wrung her hands, a surefire sign she had something else on her mind. Saying nothing, Sebastian lifted an inquisitive brow. “I was just wondering…I saw Rupert waiting to speak with you in the living room. ” “I had a few things I wanted to discuss with him, yes. ” “Should we order him something too?” He tamped down an irrational stab of jealousy. It didn’t matter that she’d been spending more time with the guard lately than him due to his hectic work schedule. Taylor wasn’t that kind of girl. She was just trying to do what she did best. She was being sweet and looking after the people around her. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he shot her a look of suffering. “He’s not a pet, Taylor,” he stated dryly. The high ridges of her cheeks flamed at the implication. “I know that, but he’s off duty and security or not, Seb, the man still has to eat. ” He sighed. “I suppose you’re right. I’ll get his order too, but he is not joining us for cuddle time on the couch. ” She snapped her fingers in a show of mock exasperation. The gesture almost earned her a swat to the ass, but he caught himself before his palm landed. He raked his hands through his hair in frustration. Everything about their life had been uprooted. Even their play was cut short by the accident. He didn’t like it, or the fact that he was almost afraid to touch her. Deep down, it felt like one wrong word, one wrong breath, and everything they’d built would blow away like a feather on the wind. ~*~*~*~ A short while later, Taylor sat surrounded by a mound of plush pillows on the chaise lounge while Sebastian worked on polishing off the remainder of his meal beside her. Despite their offer, Rupert had declined to join them for dinner and instead had lumbered toward the front door, claiming he wanted nothing more than a good night’s rest before he resumed his duties. She wasn’t sure, but she suspected a few hard looks from her lover had played a small part in that decision. Unfazed, Sebastian’s pale green eyes sparkled as he stabbed a piece of pineapple onto his fork and held it out in offering. Licking the last bit of stray sauce off her lips, she accepted the tart fruit and sagged back against the pillows with a groan. “If I eat another bite, I’m going to burst. ” His mouth curved into a slow smirk. “We can’t have that. ” “Because you would miss me too much?” she asked, grinning. He donned a deadpan expression and his head tilted in a visible show of thought before he spoke. “No. I was thinking more along the lines of if you explode, I would be stuck cleaning up the mess. ” She gaped at him, her mouth falling open. He grunted as her elbow pegged his ribs. “Real nice, Sebastian!” Unable to hold it in anymore, he burst into genuine laughter. Her jaw stretched round a violent yawn and she glanced at the decorative clock gracing the entertainment stand’s built-in shelves. The fact that it wasn’t even nine yet and she was having trouble staying awake made her feel even more weak and pathetic. After taking her tray, he rolled to the side and set their platters on the floor beside the chair. A lazy smile curved his mouth as he flipped back over and covered her body with his, careful to keep his weight propped onto his arms. Resting his forehead against hers, he stared into her eyes, the look there intense enough to steal her breath away. “You know I was just teasing you,” he claimed. The smile gracing his handsome face faded, and his expression grew serious, almost pained. He issued an audible swallow and, when he spoke, his voice came in a husky rasp. “It would kill me if anything ever happened to you, Taylor. I don’t think I could live with myself. ” “Seb…” she whispered, her fingers dancing over the elongated stubble still spotting his chin. If he’d showered, he hadn’t shaved, and judging by the dark smudges beneath his eyes, it was doubtful he’d slept much, if at all, in the past few days. A gentle forefinger to her lips silenced her. “No,” he said. “You don’t understand, Taylor. Those things I tell you, they aren’t just pretty words to make you smile. You really are everything to me. I don’t know how I would go on without you. I wouldn’t even want to try. ” She kissed his finger in a silent bid to speak. He swallowed again, the whites of his eyes reddening a little. His jaw tightened and Sebastian lowered his head. “You are way too good for me. Too good to me. You’d never say it. You’re too sweet for that, but I blame myself for this,” he said, moving his finger from her lips to trace the small cut above her eye. “For Laychee, for everything. Every time you get hurt, it boils down to somebody wanting to get at me. That’s not fair to you, baby. ” “Don’t do this,” she whispered. “I’m not dying, Sebastian. I’m a little banged up but I’m okay. We’re okay. ” “I know but some things just need said. They might be unpleasant to hear, but they’re true. ” He hesitated for a moment before lowering his gaze as if ashamed. “It’s all a part of communicating and opening up to each other. I don’t do that often, Taylor, but I like to think I can do it with you. ” “Of course you can. You can tell me anything, Sebastian, and I promise I will always be here to listen. You’ve already shared the worst with me. You should know that means you’re always welcome to share the best. I’d like that. I want to hear what makes you tick, to know what you’re feeling and share our hopes and dreams. ” His shoulders lifted with his sigh. A brief bid of something unnamable flashed in his eyes. Fear, anger, denial. It was hard to say what it was but, just like that, she watched it disappear and his mask slip back into place. His face hardened and he rolled away. “I need to take this stuff into the kitchen and clean up. ” “Sebastian…” Keeping his back turned to her, he froze. He said nothing, but the pause told her she at least had his attention. Biting the inside of her cheek, Taylor searched for the right words. “You put a ring on my finger and promised me every single part of you forever. You just talked about the importance of communication and sharing. Now I get the feeling you’re shutting back down. What are you keeping from me?” He stiffened. The tension running through him was strong enough to draw a visible tremor. Still refusing to look her way, he bowed his head. “It’s nothing, Taylor. Just work stuff. ” “Okay, but it’s bothering you. Holding it in obviously isn’t doing you any good. Who am I going to tell? Even if I wanted to vent to someone about SKALS, I’m not that stupid. Can’t you just trust me?” Shifting the trays into one arm, he scrubbed a hand up and down his face, the gesture hard enough to tug the skin beneath his palm. “It has nothing to do with trust. If I didn’t trust you, Taylor, you wouldn’t be here. ” “What is it then? Why can’t you just talk to me?” He set the trays back on the floor and twisted to face her. The look in his eyes was nothing short of raw anguish. “Becaus
e I am trying to protect you. Why can’t you get that? Everything I have ever done was to protect you. ” “From Marx?” “From Marx, from SKALS, from the harsh realities I face every single day. You have no idea what I have done, Taylor, or the things I have seen. It’s not that I don’t trust you. I want nothing more than to shield you—to keep you away from the brutality—from the fear and hatred that surrounds my life. Right now, I’m sitting on things that scare the hell out of me. You don’t need that kind of stress and I certainly don’t want you carrying those burdens. ” It was hard to imagine Sebastian being afraid of anything, yet the terror darkening his eyes assured he most definitely was. “Is it about us?” she finally managed. He shook his head. “No. It’s so much more than that, baby. ” “Sebby, talk to me. I won’t run away. Whatever it is, I won’t turn my back on you. I promise. ” He drew a shuddering breath. His shoulders slumped in defeat as he knelt down and covered her hand with his. “You don’t need this kind of stress and drama, Taylor. Just focus on taking care of yourself and our baby. I can handle this. There’s nothing you can do. ” “Maybe not, but I can be there for you. ” “You are, honey. I know that. Believe me. ” Seeing the hurt and disappointment in her eyes, his expression fell a little and he cupped her cheek. “Don’t do that,” he pleaded. “Don’t look at me that way. ” “I can’t help it. I feel so helpless right now, Seb. So useless. I don’t like it. I feel like I’m just getting in your way. ” His brow crumpled and he tipped his head. “How could you even think that?” At her silence, he sighed and plowed his hands through his hair. “I can’t, Taylor. I just can’t. It’s not that I don’t love you or trust you enough, baby. It’s quite the opposite. The things I’m holding onto right now go way beyond you or Marx or SKALS. This is the type of information that gets people killed. I’m not willing to take that risk with you. ” His confession unnerved her more than a little and, unable to help herself, she knotted her fingers in the plush throw draped over her legs and twisted the buttery fabric. Sebastian tightened his grip on her hand, as if seeking an anchor or security. “I will say this. I need you to be extra careful right now. Don’t take any unnecessary risks. Marx might have kicked up a hornet’s nest and there are a lot of angry people right now. I need you to bear that in mind and not trust anyone, okay?” She nodded, but felt the blood draining from her face. “What…how…” Unable to spit out a coherent sentence, she fisted the blanket and shook her head. “What did he do?” His shoulders lifted in a shrug. “I don’t want to get into it, Taylor. It doesn’t matter. I’m not even sure where this is going to go. He’s been on a power trip for a while now and he’s coming unhinged. I don’t think he’s content with running SKALS anymore. I think he wants more. ” Taylor swallowed. She could almost feel the fear and dread radiating off him. The same emotions left her speechless and raveled her stomach in knots. “You can’t…that can’t happen. ” “I know. None of this is for sure, baby. Just a hunch. It just scares the hell out of me to think he’s been plotting this whole thing from the beginning. ” “You think this was his plan all along?” “He’s a smart man, almost brilliant at times. As chilling as it is, it would make sense. He’s been training us from the start to be brutal, sadistic, unfeeling killers. We’re his own personal army with a hunger for violence and blood. If that has been his intent, things will get ugly. He’s not one to sit back and wait, and the government isn’t one to let people step on its toes. Marx will want to make a move soon, and I can’t see that heading anywhere good. ” Taylor’s knuckles ached from the death grip she kept on the blanket. Her throat felt swollen, closed off, and dry. Her mind spun in time with the dizzying side effects of her concussion. Whatever air she’d managed to suck in escaped her in a shallow wheeze. “If he does make a play for power, he’s going to use SKALS as reinforcement,” she whispered. Lowering his head, Sebastian nodded. The General’s chicken she’d eaten earlier pitched and rolled in her belly, turning her thoughts to the unborn child within. An icy shiver ran through her as she imagined the world with Marx at its helm. That kind of existence, the suffering and torture that would follow, it was what nightmares were made of. She tried to wet her lips to no avail. Squeezing Sebastian’s hand, she lifted her eyes to his. “What are you going to do?” “I don’t know yet,” he admitted. “It’s a heavy accusation to make and there is a lot riding on my shoulders right now. The truth can be a terrifying thing. Especially when you’ve built your entire life around something. Not everyone will want to hear what I have to say, let alone be willing to accept it. Some of the men…” he frowned, lowered his head, and sloughed his weary features. “Some of them would want Marx to move in that direction. They’d love nothing more than to have free reign to be as violent and ruthless as they please. Men crave power, Taylor, and if I’m right about what he’s about to do, this is going to rip SKALS apart from the inside out. ” The anguish in his voice broke her heart as much as the situation they faced. “Either way, Marx is out of control. He’s losing his grip. He’s a threat to my country and my family. I can’t just sit back and do nothing. ” Leaning forward, she wrapped her arms around him. Pressing her cheek against his, she closed her eyes. He reached up and hugged her tight. “I will support you in whatever you decide to do, Sebastian. ” “There are no easy paths here, baby. No easy roads to take. ” “I know,” she murmured. “But things have never been easy for either of us. Maybe…maybe this is the start of us finding a better way. ” “I want that,” he said, turning and gently cupping her face between his hands. “I want that so much. I want to watch our little one grow up without the fear of them becoming a target or overstepping Marx’s bounds. I dream of a life where I don't want to hyperventilate every time you leave the gates," he said with a sad smile. Her body jerked with a small laugh. “Now you might be asking for a bit too much. ” Tilting his head, he searched her eyes. “What do you mean?” “I don’t think there will ever come a time when you don’t want to hyperventilate when I leave the house,” she teased. It was slow at first, and pained, but a genuine grin inched across his face. “You’re probably right there. ” “I doubt it’s going to get any better once the baby comes. ” “Not likely, darling,” he agreed in a husky murmur. “I love you both way too much to lose you. ” He kissed the tip of her nose. Taylor scrunched her face and smiled as he settled his forehead against hers. “It wasn’t much, but do you feel better for sharing?” she asked. His husky laugh rolled through the room and wrapped around her heart. “No,” he admitted. “I shouldn’t have told you any of the things I did. But I do appreciate the fact that you know you need to be a little more cautious and aware. You can’t trust anyone anymore, baby. Now more than ever, I need you to keep that in mind. ” “I will, Seb. I’ll be careful. I promise. ” “More than careful, Taylor,” he warned. “Scout’s honor,” she said, holding up her fingers in a solemn swear. He snorted in amusement before reluctantly releasing his hold. “Enough about work. I’m going to take this stuff into the kitchen and pick up. When I come back, we’re going to do what we should have been doing all along. ” “And what would that be?” she asked, wiggling a brow. Standing, he winked. “Enjoying each other and this little bit of time we have. ” ~*~*~*~ Sebastian prowled the length of his office, well aware of the uneasiness rippling through Vincent Pellagreeni as the man tracked his every move. His eyes darted over the freshly lacquered floor, searching for any sign of the menacing stains that had saturated the space only hours before. Like so many other things, SKALS had done an excellent job of eradicating any traces of its existence, no matter how minute. He found himself plagued by a brief stab of guilt as he wondered who those men were—if they had families or a scruffy dog anxiously waiting at home. Pushing the unpleasant thoughts aside, he refocused his attention on the task at hand. “Please tell me you have come up with something,” he stated, strolling around hi
s desk to drop into his seat. Vince shifted uncomfortably in front of him, his eyes never wavering from the floor. “I got nothing, Baas. Marx is keeping whatever this is under total wraps and on lockdown. He brought in a handful of new recruits after you left. I was assuming it was to replace the guards you killed, but that wasn’t the direction they were headed. He took them on the extended tour of the west wing. ” His eyes narrowed briefly upon hearing that bit of information. The west wing was where new squad members were inducted into SKALS. It also housed a special row of cells used for interrogations and reconditioning. Guards tended to escape a little easier and usually detoured to the right. “How many were there?” he asked, keeping his tone neutral. “Six or eight. Maybe more. ” Definitely not guards then. He pinched the bridge of his nose and nodded. “What else aren’t you telling me?” Vince’s sandy brow furrowed in a show of confusion. “I read people for a living, Vincent. Stop making me drag things out of you today. My patience is already at a minimum. ” “Yes, sir. I’m sorry. It’s just unnerving and I’m afraid you might find the situation disturbing. ” Sebastian snorted and leaned back in his seat. The chair creaked as it rocked into a gentle recline. “As compared to what exactly?” “Good point,” Vince muttered. “I came across an invoice issued last week. He’s ordered five more helicopters. All military grade armed with heavy artillery and precision scopes. ” The bottle sitting on the corner of his desk was starting to look more and more appealing. For a moment, he stared at it, tempted to give into its sweet siren’s song. It promised at least a few seconds of relief and mind numbing oblivion. Growling low in the base of his throat, Sebastian tipped his head back and rubbed the underside of his jaw. He really needed to shave. A few more days and he’d be eligible for Grizzly Adams tryouts. “So he is gearing up. ” “Well, I wouldn’t exactly say he is gearing up, sir. ” “Really?” Sebastian asked. His expression was skeptical, his eyes fierce and probing. “And what would you call it?” “A few minor purchases?” Vince asked, the uncertainty in his voice making it come across in the tone of a hopeful question. “When there is nothing wrong with the equipment we have?” Standing, he made his way to the window. His eyes searched the grounds, looking for any subtle changes he may have missed. Seeing nothing but the usual desert, walls, and barbed wire, he turned his attention back to Vince. “No. Marx isn’t one to waste resources or money. He’s starting to prepare. He may be starting out small, but he’s always expanded at a rapid rate. Today it’s a helicopter or two. Next month it’s an army. When SKALS first started out, it was a two-man team. Look what he’s managed to turn that into. ” Vince nodded. His left leg bounced in an uneasy beat. An audible swallow filled the room as he searched for the right things to say. “We have to stop him,” Sebastian mused to himself. “Now. ” “I know this is none of my business, sir, and it’s certainly not my place to ask, but when are you going to fill the others in?” Sebastian tilted his head. His eyes narrowed into suspicious slits. “Is the burden becoming too much for you, Agent Pellagreeni?” The stocky blond shook his head in adamant denial. “No, sir. Not at all. It’s just we can’t do this on our own, and quite honestly, every time I look at Agent Reevers, I feel guilty. It’s almost like I’m sneaking around his back or something. ” The laugh that escaped him was quiet and humorless. “We aren’t lovers, Vincent. Josh is my partner. ” “I know that, sir. That’s why I feel bad. He should be in on these things as well, and I swear to Christ, it’s like the man knows. The looks he’s been giving me lately are far from friendly. ” “He’s not the warm and cuddly sort,” Sebastian quipped, his patience starting to waver. “All those years spent as my partner have sucked the joy right out of him. ” “Understandable, sir. ” Sebastian’s head snapped up. A heavy flush settled over Vince’s cheeks and his pained expression said he immediately wished he could take the words back. Feeling generous, he decided to let the small quip slide with a warning. “We aren’t here to make friends, Vincent. If that’s what you are looking for I suggest you reevaluate the situation and take a good look around. I’ve discussed my suspicions with Josh before and it’s my impression that he’s not ready to hear how far this has gone. Not yet. When it’s time, I will let him know. We can’t afford to lose him or anyone else for that matter. ” “And if he does switch sides, sir? What then?” Sebastian’s jaw jutted as he pursed his lips and cocked his head with a grim shake. “Then we are in for one hell of a difficult fight. ” A sullen look crawled over Vince’s face. His eyes darted to the crystal decanter perched on the desk and lingered long enough that Sebastian decided to put the poor man out of his misery. Snaring a tumbler, he poured his teammate a tall one. His expression remained neutral as he slid it across the smooth surface. Engulfing the glass in his hands, Vincent mumbled a quiet word of thanks before downing its contents in a single gulp. A knock drew both men’s attention. Swiping the back of his hand across his mouth, Vincent turned in his seat as the door swung open. Not waiting for the guard to announce his arrival or his purpose, Josh strode into the room. His steely gaze settled on the man seated across from Sebastian’s desk before narrowing ever so slightly. He was hard pressed to contain his amusement when Vince swiveled back to face him with a look of blatant suffering. “Sorry to interrupt your little powwow,” Josh stated dryly, “but Marx is calling a meeting. He’s got some new recruits he’d like to introduce. ” “So I’ve heard,” Sebastian said. “Thank you for your time, Agent Pellagreeni. You’re free to go. Take your reports with you. ” Vince snatched the mock files he’d brought with him off the corner of the desk and scooted past Josh, careful to give the man a wide berth on his way past. “What’s with him?” Sebastian shrugged as his partner jutted a thumb toward the door. “He’s under the impression you think we’re having an affair. ” Josh blinked. A stupefied look crawled across his face as he tried to process that claim. “Wait. Do what now?” “Nothing. It’s not important. ” “Uh…I’d say it’s pretty damn important if the man thinks I’m…” he trailed off with a mute shake of his head. “At least tell me he thinks I’m the top in this relationship. ” Sebastian leveled him with a pointed look. Snorting, Josh nodded. “Right. I’ll set him straight later. If he needs a little cuddle from you now and then, I’m okay with that as long as it doesn’t cut into our time. ” “Fuck off. ” “See. There’s the Baas we all know and love. How could anyone resist that?” Josh asked, delivering a needling elbow to his side as they started to make their way down the hall toward the conference room. “Speaking of, how’s Tay holding up?” “She’s fine. ” “Yeah? You don’t embellish much, do you?” “There’s nothing to tell. She’s got a concussion and she’s a little banged up, but she’ll be fine. ” “Okay. Sorry I asked,” Josh said, his voice taking on a defensive edge. “How about you, Baas? How are you doing?” “Tired. I haven’t slept worth a damn in two days and this is the last place I want to be. ” “Yeah. I get that,” Josh muttered. They let the conversation die as they came to a stop outside the conference room doors. Sucking in a deep breath, Sebastian pushed the heavy barriers open and let his gaze roam across the room. A wave of unease rippled through him as he took in the familiar faces of his teammates along with several new ones belonging to men he’d never met. It was bad enough wondering where each man was going to land before. Now Marx had added several new ones to the fray. It was an unsettling feeling to know that might have been the kind of security the director was banking on. Marx sat at the head of the table with his arms folded and a stern look of impatience stamped across his features. He offered little more than a curt nod of acknowledgement as Sebastian and Josh took their seats. “Good. Now that we are all here, we can get this meeting underway. As some of you may have heard, our security crew took a few hits yesterday. I will be bringing in replacements for those men soon, but until then things are going to be tight. To compensate for this strain, I’ve lim
ited the number of people we will be allowing in and out of this building. All necessary inquisitions are to be made at one of our desert facilities. ” A quiet rumble of acceptance rose around the table. Marx rocked back in his chair. His thick fingers tented beneath his chin. The heavy silver rings between his knuckles glinted beneath the dim, golden light. “As of now, we still have no word on Patrick James or his whereabouts. Would someone care to explain to me why that is?” “It’s not that we haven’t been trying, Marx. The guy is just slippery as shit. ” The director’s dark gaze landed on Josh. “I don’t care about your excuses, Reevers. I want results. That brings me to you, Sebastian. Whatever efforts your team is making, I expect them doubled. I don’t care if that means you are living, breathing, eating, sleeping, and shitting SKALS twenty-four hours a day seven days a week. Track him down and bring him to me. ” Sebastian’s fists knotted beneath the table. More time away from home. Away from Taylor, at a time when she needed him the most. The short crescents of his nails sank deep into his palms. The time for being nice was quickly ending. Patrick James was starting to become more than a minor annoyance in his life. If the man had any brains at all, he would book one of those tickets to Mars people were raffling off and take his ex-wife with him. “Is that understood, Agent Baas?” He glanced up. The tone of Marx’s voice clearly indicated this was a repeated question. Pulling himself from his thoughts, he nodded. “You will have him. ” “Let’s hope so,” the director said flatly. “I’m sure you’ve all noticed the new faces joining us today. You can get introductions out of the way later. For now, all you need to know is I am in the process of putting together a second team. After their training, they will be working in tandem with your efforts to locate Mr. James. Perhaps they will find something you gentlemen missed. ” “Poor fuckers,” Josh muttered beneath his breath. Marx raised a brow in their direction. “Is there something you wish to share with the room, Agent Reevers?” “No, sir. Not really. I mean, unless they’d like to spend some time with Baas. I’m more than willing to share him with someone else for a while. ” “If you want to keep making jokes, you can spend some time alone in a reconditioning cell. Perhaps that will give you the liberation you need,” Marx retorted. “Uh…no. No thanks, boss. I’m good. ” Lips pressed together in a grim line, he offered a comical farce of a smile to the newcomers seated at the table as he lifted his hands in an open spread. “Welcome to the team, boys. I hope you enjoy your stay as much as we have. ” The comment drew several quiet snickers. Even Jackson, who was still relatively wet behind the ears, fought to hide a knowing smile. Seeing that, Sebastian tilted his head in interest. Maybe the new kid would prove himself useful after all. He swung his gaze back to Marx as the director shifted in his seat. Tension thrummed through him, as their commander pinned his partner with a calculating stare. There was a strong measure of truth to the saying “no good deed goes unpunished. ” That was the standard with Marx rather than the exception, and the look he leveled on the man seated beside Sebastian warned his attempts to add a little humor and levity to their lives would not go unanswered. “Are you finished yet?” Sebastian winced, unable to help wondering how much of Josh’s ribbing was going to blow back on him. Marx was riding his ass hard enough about his team’s performance lately as it was. Josh sobered in an instant. “Yes, sir, Marx. Very. ” “Good to know. ” He cleared his throat, as if the action could somehow erase his momentary loss of control over the room. “That brings us to the final item of discussion. This organization will be going through some critical changes in the next few weeks. As you are all aware, SKALS has great potential. It’s time we stop contenting ourselves with comfortable and start reaching for the heights we are capable of, gentlemen. ” Sebastian’s eyes locked with Vince’s across the table. His heartbeat throbbed in his temples and his stomach clenched. It took a vast amount of effort to still the tremble of anxiety racing through him as he listened to Marx’s deep voice drone in his ears. “Our field operations and outdoor training will expand. I realize this means more time and energy on your behalves, but the end results will be worth the cost. We have new equipment coming in that will aid in this process and perhaps add some enjoyment and variety to the experience as well. ” “What do you mean by expansion?” Bradley asked. Sebastian studied the man. It wasn’t often his stocky teammate spoke up, and he couldn’t help but wonder about the sudden show of interest. Bradley’s usual M. O. was to lay low and cling to the adage that out of sight meant out of mind. Until now, that course of action had worked fairly well. Unfortunately, all traces of anonymity had just faded. As far as Sebastian was concerned, the man had just painted a glaring bull’s eye on his back. His eyes narrowed. “For starters, we will be branching out more within your local communities. There’s been some new rules and regulations passed regarding the Patriot Act, and I see no reason why we can’t lend our local agencies a hand in seeing that these laws are being enforced. ” The bacon and egg croissant he’d scarfed down for breakfast threatened to reemerge. So did the steady stream of coffee he’d been ingesting all morning. Clenching his jaw, Sebastian fought against the rise of gorge in the base of his throat. Community action was a swift and decisive step in the wrong direction, and he couldn’t help but wonder what that would mean for the unsuspecting civilians around them. It was all happening too fast. The entire situation was spiraling completely out of control. His troubled gaze swung to Marx as the director stood. His bulk cast a looming shadow across the table and the bold details of the skull and cross bone insignia burnt into the wood. Sebastian swallowed, not missing the ironic symbolism in the moment. “Keep me updated, gentlemen. Enjoy your weekends. ” The thought almost made him laugh. Rising to his feet took effort. Catching his eyes, Josh offered an amenable shrug. “Could have been worse,” he stated. “I’m not so sure about that. ” “Come on, Baas. Expansion. New shit. A stronger community awareness and presence. What’s not to like? Maybe our pay will bump up a few scales as well. ” He studied his partner for a long moment as the rest of the team filed through the doors. The dread that settled over his chest was almost suffocating. Pushing his chair back in, he searched his partner’s eyes. “We make more than enough as it is, Josh,” he stated softly. “Yeah. I know that, Baas. I was just trying to look at the bright side of things here. ” He nodded and trailed a finger over the stitching adorning the back of the leather chair. “Do you really see SKALS branching through the community and doing door to door sweeps as a good thing?” he asked, without lifting his gaze. A hesitant pause lingered between them as Josh thought things over. Sighing, he raked a hand through his dark hair and shrugged. “Look. I don’t know what the right answer here is, Baas. What I do know is we’ve been trained to follow orders without raising questions. Going against that now isn’t going to do either one of us any good. ” “You know what we are, Josh. You know what we do. ” “Yeah…I get that. But this isn’t about everyone else. It’s about protecting ourselves and our families. ” Backing toward the door, Josh cast his arms open. “It seems like a pretty simple choice if you ask me. ” He stared after his partner for a long moment before lowering his head with a sorrowful shake. Josh was right. It should have been a simple choice—but in the end—it really wasn’t. ~*~*~*~ Taylor stirred, sensing she was no longer alone. Struggling to sit up, she smoothed her hands over her hair and straightened the blanket as her eyes darted around the room, trying to assess how long she’d been sleeping. The day had been as boring as it was long. There was only so much daytime television a person could stomach before they wanted to gouge their eyes out or stuff their ears full of cotton. By three, she’d opted to shut off the madness and lose herself between the pages of a book, but the small print made her head throb and the hours had continued to creep by. She glanced up as Sebastian’s broad shoulders and lean form filled the doorway. The soft golden light spilling from the hall fell across h
is shoulders and played on the damp auburn highlights of his curls as he leaned against the archway and studied her. Gone was the long scruff that had covered his cheeks. A respectable five o’clock shadow stretched across his upper lip and chin in its stead, and the warm, chocolaty scent of his body spray lingered in the room between them. The sight of him filled her with an instant longing to close the distance and ease the loneliness that had consumed her for most of the day. “I didn’t mean to wake you. ” “It’s okay. I’m glad you’re home. ” Smiling, she patted the seat beside her. He didn’t budge. “Did you eat yet?” Picking at the corner of the blanket, she lowered her eyes and shrugged. “Not yet. I was going to call something in, but I must’ve nodded off. ” His stare grew heavy and scrutinizing, but he said nothing. Searching for a way to break the silence, Taylor slowly released the breath she’d been holding. “How was work?” It seemed rhetorical given his mood, but it was all she had. “It was a day,” he said, crossing the room. Her wide eyes swung up to his as he settled onto the edge of the chaise lounge beside her. The muscles along his jawline twitched as he traced a finger over the top of her hand. “Please, don’t ask about work right now, baby. We can talk about anything. Anything else at all, just not Marx and SKALS. I need somewhere, where even if just for a minute, I don’t have to think about them. ” He looked so lost and alone. Deep lines creased his forehead, and there was a lingering fear in his eyes that scared the hell out of her. Her throat tightened with her nod. Whatever it was, it wasn’t good. Wrapping her hands around his, she gave them an affectionate squeeze. “Okay. ” Open relief washed over him, softening his handsome features. Leaning in, he caught her chin and stole a slow, drugging kiss. When he pulled back, he managed a trace of the dimpled smile that she’d come to crave. “I don’t know about you,” he murmured, “but I’m starving. ” His stomach rumbled loudly, as if on cue, prompting them both to laugh. “Nice one, Seb,” she teased, nudging his hip. His expression hardened, but there was a definite sparkle in his eye as he leaned over her and rested his forehead against hers. “Watch it, darling. Sooner or later, you will be feeling better and there will be no baby between us acting as a buffer. ” She shivered at the husky menace in his voice. “That sounded an awful lot like a threat, Agent Baas. ” Releasing a low chuckle, he tipped her face toward his. “Have you learned nothing in our time together? I don’t make threats, Taylor. Only promises. ” Flushing a little, she hung her head. “Get up,” he said, patting her thigh. “If nothing else, you can keep me company while I whip us up something to eat. ” A small niggling of guilt haunted her as she padded into the kitchen after him. It wasn’t so much that he was cooking; Sebastian often shared in the meal prep and clean up if he was home. It was more the feeling of uselessness hanging over her head. Lingering uncertainly in the broad arch between the kitchen and the hall leading to the dining room, she watched the play of the muscles in his back as he rummaged through the refrigerator. “Sebastian, let me help. Let me do something. Please?” “I didn’t ask you to come in here and badger me, Taylor. All you need to worry about is getting better. Either sit down and talk to me or go lay back down. ” Securing the packages of sausage and mushrooms cradled in his arm, he nudged the refrigerator door shut. “I feel fine,” she said, unable to mask the raw pleading in her voice. He dropped the contents onto the gleaming granite countertop and froze. She swallowed seeing his knuckles whiten as he gripped the ledge. “Why do you always do this?” he asked quietly. “Why do you have to argue and push? Why can’t you just sit back and let someone take care of you? What are you so damn afraid of?” Her mouth opened and closed around a silent denial. Frowning, she crossed the room and settled onto one of the bistro chairs seated at the breakfast table. Her brow furrowed as she gave the question serious merit. Twisting the stretchy hem of her tee, she squirmed as Sebastian’s expectant gaze bore into her. Tension thrummed between them as he moved on and started chopping the ground sausage in the skillet with a spatula. “I guess…” She started then faltered as he glanced up. “I guess I’m afraid of becoming a burden. ” “That makes no sense, Taylor,” he said dryly. “Yes it does. You just don’t understand. You’ve never been in that position. ” He set the spatula down with a little more force than was necessary. “Haven’t I? There was a time not too long ago when you were waiting on me hand and foot. I couldn’t get out of bed. I couldn’t fend for myself in any way, shape, or form after that explosion. Is that what you thought of me?” he asked. “Was I a burden?” “Well, no, but…” “Come here,” he ordered, pointing to the spot in front of him. Hugging herself, she made the slow trek across the kitchen. Unable to help it, she winced when he reached for her chin. “Quit lying,” Sebastian warned, his fingers firm along her jaw. “If you’re going to offer an explanation, at least be honest with me and yourself. What are you so afraid of, Taylor?” “I…” Tears threatened and she bit the insides of her cheeks with the hopes the pain would help her hold herself together. “Spit it out!” “I don’t know! Maybe it’s stupid, but I always find myself wondering if I had just done more for myself or to help my mom out then maybe—maybe she wouldn’t have left. If I hadn’t been such a financial strain on my uncle growing up then maybe he could of…” She trailed off and choked down the knot building in her throat. The last words came out quiet and strained. “Maybe he could have loved me. Maybe they wouldn’t have done those things and tried to set me up. ” Sebastian winced. As the words struck home, his face slowly crumpled and he pulled her into his arms. Holding on tight, Taylor buried her nose against the fragrant warmth of his chest and held on for dear life. She refused to let the tears fall but was unable to quell the pained tremors running through her. “Shh,” he soothed, stroking one hand over the back of her head as the other smoothed over her spine. “Don’t. You can’t think like that. Don’t do that to yourself, Taylor. ” “I can’t help it,” she said, pulling back. Sebastian cradled her face firmly between his hands. His eyes were stern and beseeching as they locked with hers. “Listen to me,” he ordered. “Those people didn’t deserve you, baby. I know it’s hard to hear because it’s your family and they’re all you’ve ever known, but that’s not what family does. That’s not love. You don’t use the people you care about or walk away because things get difficult. I’m sorry you had to go through that, but you need to get it through your head that that’s not me. I’m never going to walk away from you, Taylor. Never, and I’m sure as hell not going to give you up just because we hit a few bumps along the way. ” “I know,” she whispered. A sad smile plied his lips and he shook his head. “No, baby. You don’t. If you did, you would trust me. You would believe what this ring stands for,” he said, stroking the thick platinum and diamond band. “You’d believe in me and the promises I’ve made you. ” “Sebby…” He silenced her with a gentle forefinger. “Just hear me out. I haven’t had the easiest time in life either. My family has been dysfunctional, broken, and ripped apart time and time again. Maybe it’s hard for you to understand, but it’s nice to think that I’m needed once in a while too. I do a lot of taking in this relationship, Taylor. Please don’t fight me when I try to give something back. ” “You do a lot of giving,” she argued. “Have I? I’ve bought you things to try to express my affection, but it’s not about the money with you. It never has been. It took me a while to understand and accept that, but it’s true. With you, it’s all about the actions and what people do. You treasure the little things, Taylor. Let me do them for you. Believe it or not, I enjoy it. ” Sighing, she shrugged. “Okay. I’ll try. ” “Don’t try, baby. Just do. Now go sit your ass down before I decide to heat it up. ” A short while later, they were finishing off the remainder of their dinner. He’d whipped up a delicious alfredo lasagna and the rich aroma of garlic toast mingled in the air along with the lingering undercurrent of spiced sausage. Sebastian had relented a litt
le by letting her chop up a head of lettuce and some cucumber for their salad. Stuffed, she leaned back with a contented groan. The slight shift in position scooted the ottoman they’d been using as a makeshift table across the floor. It was a nice break from the cold formality of the dining room, even if it was one she knew he didn’t necessarily enjoy. Whether he admitted it or not, Sebastian was very much a man of habits and routine. His eyes were dark and troubled as he lowered his wineglass and set it down. Lost in his thoughts, he traced the delicate stem for a moment. “I need you to promise me something,” he murmured before swinging his piercing gaze her way. Her breath caught seeing the intensity burning there. “Things are really stepping up at work, and I don’t know where any of this is going to lead. I’ve never been a good man, Taylor. I’ve said and done some really terrible things in my lifetime, but I’ve always done them so that other people could survive. Right now, I don’t even have that reassurance to cling to,” he said, still focusing on the fragile stem of his glass. “You’re always so good at seeing the best in people. I want you to promise me when this is all said and done that you will try to still see something good in me. Try not to see me as a monster, even if that’s what I have to be. Help me find something that’s still worth redeeming, Taylor…please. ” The familiar noose of fear loosened, but her heart broke and shattered with his words. There was a desperation in his voice—a raw and anguished pleading that she hadn’t heard since the night he told her about SKALS. Even worse was the damp shimmer of tears building in his eyes, and the way he couldn’t even bring himself to look at her as his proud stance slumped in defeat. Flinging her napkin aside, she scrambled to the other side of the ottoman and wrapped her arms around him. Sebastian gathered her in a fierce embrace, his hold crushing as the hard lines of his body strained against hers. “Sebby…. please stop tearing yourself apart. It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay. We will get through this, and I will do whatever I can to hold us together. I promise. ” “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted. “How could I ask you or our baby to carry my name when this is the legacy I’d be handing you?” She ran her hands over his face, trying her best to smooth away the heartbreak stamped across his noble features. “I don’t care about that, Sebastian. ” “I do,” he said, his voice breaking. After a moment, he pulled back and shut down the brief show of emotion with a forceful sniff. “A man is defined by his actions, Taylor. I want there to be something more to my story. Something meaningful. I don’t want my entire legacy to be about a man who facilitated torture and death. ” “It won’t be. You are the man I love. You’re going to be a father, and this baby is your legacy,” she said, pressing his palm against her stomach. “Our home and the life we give it—the memories we make here will be what lives on after we are gone. Nothing can take that away from you and nothing can change that. ” “I want to believe that, Taylor. I do,” he whispered, reverently stroking her belly with his fingertips. “But if Marx follows through with his plans, that will never happen. ” His eyes darted to hers and begged for a way to make her understand. “He’s already starting to put things into play. He wants to expand field operations and start community reinforcement. One by one, he will start stripping people’s weapons and means of defense away. He will recruit those he finds useful and eliminate the rest, and he won’t stop there. It’s only going to keep spreading. How can I ever look my child in the eye and explain that I was the one who let something like that happen? I can barely stand to face myself in the mirror right now, let alone look at you. ” “You’ll figure it out when the time is right, Sebastian. ” “The time is now, Taylor. It has to be now. ” She didn’t know what else to say. Even if she had known, she doubted she’d be able to speak. Images of Marx and SKALS storming across the country like some sick resurrection of Hitler and his twisted SS plagued her head. Neither was pleasant. She felt her body shudder as she released the breath she’d been holding. Unable to help it, she wondered what the hell she’d gotten herself into that day in the woods. She gave her head a firm shake, trying to clear her mind. Now wasn’t the time to fall apart. It was the time to buck up and be strong. Then, a sobering thought struck. Marx viewed Sebastian as some sort of prized protégée. His own legacy—clay to be molded and shaped as he pleased before he passed the torch on. While they’d never discussed it, she knew Sebastian would sooner die than see his child choose the same paths he had taken. The cold-hearted director would not be as kind. There was a very real and terrifying possibility Marx would see her pregnancy as an asset. A sick and twisted way of securing what he considered prime DNA. She put nothing past the monster, and the thought of him ripping their child away and raising it as some sort of super soldier like his father damn near shattered what was left of her sanity. Her heart dropped clear down to the pit of her stomach and she felt her grip on Sebastian’s hand tighten as the floor threatened to give way beneath her. Swinging her wide gaze up to his, she realized they were both lost, both drifting in the middle of a violent storm with nothing to cling to but each other.