kitchen. With bed hair and armed with a spatula, Mom was flapping Jacks.
“Morning, Jeffrey.”
“Hey.”
“Are you coming right home after school today?”
“I was going to go to Anna’s after school. Why?”
“I need you to help me clean the house. Your sister Liz is coming over for dinner tonight and has big news. I have a feeling that she’s pregnant.”
“Really? That would be cool. I’d be an uncle.”
“And I’d be a grandma.”
“Do you really need me to help?” I was whining, a desperate plea in my tone. “I had plans with Anna tonight, important ones.” It was a lie, but I wanted to see her. And didn’t want to clean the dang house.
She looked over at me with a sidelong grin. “You really like Anna, don’t you?”
“Not like that,” I lied again. “She’s cool. Like one of the guys. That’s all. If she was a dude I’d like her just as much.”
“Uh huh.” She wasn’t convinced. In fact, the twinkle in her eye said that she knew damn well what was going on in my head. My first crush. She wasn’t my first crush but was by far the most crushed upon in my fifteen semi-agreeable years. She exaggerated a sigh and said, “Go ahead. I’ll clean house by myself. If it rains, don’t stay out in it.”
“I won’t.”
Sure as shit it began raining. I was getting soaked at the bus stop. I jostled my way to the front of the line when the bus pulled up and took a seat in the back-back, procured the spot beside me for Anna, who would be picked up two stops later.
At the stop before that five kids entered the bus, squeaking in their galoshes and rubbers. I was hoping Gwen would take the seat directly in front of me, and when she didn’t I then hoped Tony would take it. Anyone but Jacob, who was at the back of the procession and not nearly as dumb as he looked. He knew where Anna would be sitting (beside me) and was surely licking his chops at the prospect of sitting so near her. I fist pumped and cheered silently when Andrew took the seat in mention; Jacob was doomed to take a seat several rows ahead of me.
When Anna boarded the big yellow Twinkie my breath caught. Not because she was any prettier than was her usual, but because I always caught my breath when I first encountered her after any stretch of separation. I smiled internally when she looked the other way as she passed Jacob.
“Hi, Anna,” Jacob said.
Anna muttered something that might have been a greeting, but probably wasn’t. Her eyes met mine and bunched up in an eye-smile. Say cheeese, pretty blue eyes. I scooted to the window and let her have the spot that my butt had warmed if only for a few minutes. That she sat in the exact spot that I had just one second ago was an intrigue not lost on me. Had I still been there and it was possible for two people to occupy the same space, our guts and organs and blood and skin and brains would be inside one another’s at that moment. So creepy and so mystifying the thought was. Maybe it was more symbolic than anything: I wanted her inside me and me inside her, not physically but something more. Something better. I’m a bonafide nut-job, admittedly.
“Sup, Anna,” I said apathetically. I was a real cool customer, all right.
“Hi, Jeff. How about the rain, huh? It was supposed to be sunny today.”
“Yeah I know. Hopefully it clears up. Want to hang out after school?”
“Sure. At my place, though. My mom made me promise I’d help her put together Julie’s new bike. Can you believe that? A bike you have to assemble? I thought they all came put together, but I guess not these days. Knowing my mom, she probably bought it disassembled to save a few bucks.”
“Why doesn’t your dad put it together?”
“He isn’t back from California yet. Should be by the weekend, though.”
“That’s cool. I can help put it together, if you’d like.”
“That would be awesome. Thank you, Jeffrey. You’re a sweetheart, you know that?”
“I do know that.” I smiled playfully at her.
It began clearing up by noon. By the time school got out the few remaining clouds were on the horizon. Being that my sixth period class was at the other end of campus, it was Anna’s turn to save my spot on the bus. As I hulked toward her in the aisle, I glimpsed Jacob sitting on the bench opposite her. He was as close to her as he could be; any closer and he’d fall off the bench into the aisle. Anna was as far from him as possible, pressed against the side of the bus, her head against the windowpane.
“Hey, Jeff,” Jacob said. He had been pursuing a friendship with me for as long as I could remember. I suppose he figured the easiest way into her life was through me, since I had already proven myself capable of weaseling my way into it. I was indifferent to him. I refused the many invitations he had thrown my way in the realm of extra-curricular activities such as basketball, birthday parties, catching a movie, shooting pellet guns.
“Sup, Jacob.”
I slid along the vinyl seat and butted up against Anna. She smiled and it tickled in my chest. I told her she was looking rather smart this fine afternoon. She said I wasn’t looking so dumb myself.
“I almost forgot that tomorrow we have a minimum day,” I said. “I love minimum days. Hey, maybe we could go fishing tomorrow afternoon. Scott told me of a really good place up at Kelley’s Pass.”
“Yeah, sure. I almost forgot it was a minimum day myself. In a couple weeks we get a four day weekend. Can’t wait.”
“Yep, Thanksgiving.”
I carried her books to her house. Anna is the only girl I know who doesn’t use a backpack. And I have a working theory as to why. More often than not I go to her house after school, and always carry her books. Kids aren’t stupid, they see this kind of stuff. They can put two and two together (most of them, at least). They see me carrying the beautiful Anna’s books and assume we kind of have a thing going on. How I wished they were right. But I suppose I was like a front for her. A decoy. A useful idiot. Jacob wasn’t the only boy who wanted her, and all those who were likeminded would see me carrying her books and assume the worst, and find a new girl to fall in love with. Yes, it is my theory that Anna didn’t use a backpack just so I would have to carry her books home. Do you think I minded doing it? Heck no! I’d move heaven and hell for her if I only knew how. And I sure got a kick out of people glancing at the boy and girl walking together, and them assuming I was her boyfriend. How I wished it was less assuming and more knowing. It was pretty ridiculous that I couldn’t tell Anna how I felt about her. I kind of felt resentful toward her for not picking up on it—how unfair, I know. Any other boy would have whined by now after carrying her heavy stack of books day after day. They’d say, “Damnit Anna, why don’t you get a friggin’ backpack already. I’m not your packhorse.” But not this guy. I just smiled at her when she handed her books over, no matter how tall the stack might be. My arms were getting pretty strong by it. If she lived another mile away from the bus stop I’d probably look like that Incredible Hulk guy, Lou Ferrigno.
Little Julie Macintyre had arrived home before us, as middle school has an earlier quitting time than does high school. She was on the porch waiting for her sister. She was antsy, all right. She wanted that bike put together this instant.
“Mom won’t be home for another hour,” Anna said, “so you’re going to have to wait.”
“Nah, it’s okay,” I said to Anna. “I’ll put it together, remember? Shouldn’t be too hard.”
Julie hopped up and down in her excitement. “I could put it together if I wanted to,” Julie assured her two elders, “but just to make sure it’s perfect I’d rather you guys do it. Be sure to do it right, please. Don’t break it.”
“We won’t,” I said. She sure was a cutie, especially when she got excited. She had that kind of face that if you stumble upon its equal on the back of a milk carton, you just feel sick to death. Throw some wings on her (she was already wearing a white dress) and passers-by might nudge their spouses and say, “Holy crap, look at that! An angel!”
Over
the next hour we were in the garage with the door open. I had the two lovely ladies handing me the tools I asked for. That’s right, I was calling the shots around here. I was tempted to have them bake me cookies.
For this being a joint effort, it sure seemed like I was doing all the work. Julie kept making bets with her big sister: “I bet you can’t do a handstand for as long as I can.” “I bet you can’t skip rope twice in one jump.” Anna wasn’t very competitive in nature, but she liked to amuse her kid sister and was a good sport about it.
I had just put the finishing touches on the bike, tightening all the hardware extra tight. I could just picture Julie crashing minutes after riding it, and it would be from some defect in the assembly of the bike: human error. Jeffrey Jay Jacobs the guilty party. I wouldn’t have much shared culpability, either, being that this whole mess was saddled on my shoulders as the girls enjoyed one another’s company.
Julie was eager to rip the bike out of my clutches and sail it off into oblivion. I was grateful that Anna refused to let her ride it until she gave it a good once-over. There would be shared culpability after all. Anna went as far as getting on it and taking it for a test drive, and there were severe consequences for that little act of mischief. Julie hollered after her, “Get off my bike! You’re ruining it! You have your own bike; why do you need mine! You’re such a bully!”
Anna told her to can it. A minute later ownership of the bike was transferred, and Julie had a smile too wide for her face as she rode it away. I was grinning as I watched it all happen. It feels good to make people happy. I felt pretty good about myself. I felt a whole lot better when Anna closed our gap and hugged me. Oh how I loved the smell of her hair. It was Pantene. The first time I smelled the scent I committed it to memory. When I was at Target some days later I smelled all the shampoos until I found Anna’s scent. Pantene. From then on I washed my own hair with Pantene. I lied to my mom by saying it was the only stuff that didn’t make my head itch. But it smelled a little different on her than it did on me. Conditioner, probably. That and it was Anna. Anna put life in the unliving. If she wore gray, I suspect it would turn yellow. Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but you get my drift.
“Thank you for doing that for me,” she said. “You’re the best.”
“Was my pleasure.”
She let go of me and let her eyes linger on mine a little. It was both a wretched feeling and a wonderful feeling being her best friend. I need not say why it is wonderful, but the wretched part is I’m more like a brother to her than anything. I honestly wouldn’t be that surprised if while hanging out together in her bedroom, door closed, if she got undressed and changed into something more comfortable with me sitting there dumbstruck on the bed. To her I’d be like a cat or dog there on the bed, indifferent to her bare body. Or worse, she’d cover her body up to spare me the indignity of having to view my best friend’s naked body. Oh how horrible that would be! I was benign Jeffrey. Good ol’ dependable, reliable, Jeffrey. Standing there in her panties and a bra, she might say, “Do you think this bra is the same color as these panties? My mom says they are but I swear the bra is more cream-colored than white. And look at my butt, does it seem to be getting a little fatter? I keep telling mom to buy non-fat milk but she keeps buying that two-percent stuff.”
I sighed.
She asked me to sit on the bench and keep an eye out for Julie zipping by, in case there was an issue with the bike, like something needed to be tightened or adjusted, while she went inside and got a big ass cup of iced tea. It was always just one big ass cup of iced tea because we shared it. Sure it probably would have worked out just fine with our own cups, but we never did it that way,